and here we learn just how anal gillian is, who sets a table at 4 in the morning when you’re blasted out of your mind and people are on their way out the door?
here i am having a no pants party by myself.
seriously i got my pants off but everything else i cannot fathom.
next morning, what happened? ok back to party.
remember this guy? apparently my mom accidentally threw these socks in the bag along with five-thousand of the same grandma sweaters she handed-down to me, half of which i brought to gill’s party. my mom asked if i liked any of them, dear mom, you have huge cannons i do not therefore you buy large-sized sweaters, i do not, in fact, i look like a sexless potato with a hunchback when i wear them, stop buying these sweaters and stop giving them to me, you have a problem. these socks were meant for my niece.
i finally cleaned the mirror yesterday (not shown here) fil and i’s mexican stand-off ended and he didn’t even know we were having one ugg MEN! i just caught him “soaking” a pan and exfuckingploded.
yeah yeah blah bla i have skinny legs lets look at them together.
that’s original. fil recently learned that he is 6’4, so he grew an inch. BONER! i like to say that he has a tumour on his pituitary gland like all those really tall people have on the tlc freaks of nature shows. one time he and aimee and i were walking along and he tried to pull the haha you’re short thing on me and asked if i felt left out and tiny i said no, i feel average-height. backfire!
first!
fancy food guilt.
total princess.
i busted britt in a lie she said that dvd just came out and it was difficult to get, my dad already has it and apparently i watched it with him before.
goldfinger guy was crouch-kneeling for a long time and didn’t complain once wtf?
meanwhile brad and i are perched on an ottoman together and i kept telling him to watch it on the snacks, giving skinny people complexes is fun(ny).
hipster ‘cubes?
someone actually asked in my comments what the significance of the map and flags are, seriously, do you want to tell them for me? (not being mean here just sayin’)
stop showin’ me up chinadoll!
nice stoner art you made there gill.
hey are you going to joke night at the drake? ok i’ll catch you at stone’s place later on then, word!
tiffany kept telling me how funny i am all night long so then i couldn’t turn it off GOD!
cliquey girls that talked to me for zero seconds. i left jonathan with them on my way out for a smoke and yelled out to them to ask him why he was wearing sandals so as i was putting on my jacket and hat he is like you fucking bitch pointing at me while getting into story-telling mode for these ladies who were all baked too haha.
i was making my gymnasium floor joke for the thousandth-time on my way out of the bedroom with my coat and cigarette and then extrapolated from that by pretending there were lockers to my left and then i see the girl party and said and then you have your clique of girls and jonathan tried to get me in trouble for it but it of course blew up in his nerd-target face so he had to stand up and talk to them all by himself, halfway through his pathetic diet pepsi black toe story the music turned off ahahahahahahAHAHAHA.
k now pose.
pose.
stop flirting.
stop telling people you are annexing my hat it’s not going to happen.
nice to see that ours is not the only skiddy mirror in toronto. ok now onto UK scrapbook II.
wedding confetti from when george harrison was on our campus.
look i said omg first!
awesome castle.
partied here too.
got jostled around a lot in shakespeare’s house by rude tourists.
this should just be called my garbage collection book.
sinfully delicious.
some guy me and this girl took turns making out with on the dark dancefloor of that eurotrash club equinox, then out in the light realised he was only 18, and here i thought he was at LEAST 25.
to see brands you’ve never seen before is like seeing commericals in other countries, and the word florida in england, boggling. wow what a scholar.
there was a renaissance fair going on when we were there.
more graphic than ours back home why am i turned on right now?
yep mick jagger’s son did go to this school, st. edward’s aka teddy’s.
i wonder who did most of the work?
hahaha.
that looks like boy writing.
das ketchup would be a cool band name.
funny coincidence this teacher lived above me when i moved to the crawford ghetto at 19 and he came to some of our gong show parties too.
more sara drawings which reminds me i have to find her on facebook, i hope she’s a famous illustrator by now. she let me borrow her id for the rest of the trip (she was 18) and i mailed it once i got back to canada. this goth bitch stole my fake id and said she gave it back to me, left it on my bed, she did NOT. one time during dinner when she was in the caf i ransacked her entire room (didn’t have locks on the door) but i never found it. she was adopted into the family of one of the dudes who invented trivial pursuit. if you know her tell her what’s up? she was from stratford, ontario.
these dorks got lost on our way to a house party by these american dudes we met, guess who came to the rescue?
i brought my um, uh, red rocket vibe with me and all the girls wanted to “borrow it” just to “see it” i swear. after the program was over i stayed on for two more weeks with friends of family and started to panic about my suitcase being checked on the flight home and how humiliated i would be, so i threw it in a garbage can in rayne’s park on my way out to buy brie one day. L-O-S-E-R.
worst haircut of my life.
these were in the back of my scrapbook, for safe-keeping? yes that is me as a baby.
felting all day long today sorry bros, my back is killing me, i sit hunched over on the edge of the couch and think up personality traits for little felt guys and wonder if i will ever grow up. i’m almost finished working on one kind of based on this except cooler, cooler as in more retarded.
i don’t know what his name is yet but i know he bankrupted his family from his gambling addiction.
we did not go out at all yesterday. i didn’t shower either. we had maple bacon w/ eggs and toast for dinner and a caesar, all day long i fantasized about it then i made it too spicy and could only drink half. sigh.
fil left the bacon grease out during the nite and cid ate it. fil discovered it this morning then licked it and said i understand why he did this.
the party continues this is my i can’t believe how incredibly wasted i am face no wait yes i can.
last dance move of the nite (morning 4am) staying alive and also an example of the raymi not inhaling that bag of chips on the floor behind me diet.
see? collecting knick knacks is barely a hair away from mental illness, and i know this because i have fifty-thousand various collected items.
does a double rock on! cancel itself out?
gill actually put on a little robe thing to clean up a broken glass.
my pillow.
ok so this is how it started and i noticed jonathan at this party, i was pointing at claire and mouthing the a-ok with hand action as well regarding her outfit and then retardface beside her is like hey thank you and points at himself and then down at his feet.
look at these people totally uninterested in my jovial banter i have absolutely no idea why.
we ignored the sex and the city charades party taking place in the kitchen urrea ( i know!) and watched this guy, i need to get it for my dad if he doesn’t already have it.
i wish cid wasn’t such a selfish christmas tree attacking monster so we could have some christmas over here too.
the comedy just writes itself. don’t worry i made fun of them a lot from across the room and even got other people in on it too. mostly we just stood and stared at them aghast at what was unfolding before us. dude with the cards i asked him who won he said he did, oh you don’t say! i kept a straight face thank god. i told brad they are probably millionaires and i am blowing some future opportunity by opening my big mouth and firing off stupid jokes five feet away from them.
i like how i make fun of people for basically similar shit i would do myself.
do you ever go to a party (probably not you are a socially-inept shy nervous internet-addict) that has nice snacks and stuff and feel like you don’t deserve any of it and have tiny guilt feelings everytime you look at the food and calculate in your head how much money was spent on a jerk like you while you are stuffing it all in your mouth when really it is because people like to entertain and impress and it actually has nothing to do with you at all but you still can’t help but feel guilty anyway?
yeah it’s true your eyes aren’t busted i’m kind of wicked.
this fence is redundant that’s what i said and no one cared but me, i care, so i took a picture.
i don’t get it you like weed or something please help this is really hard to “figure out”.
she’s laughing because i just asked if her dog was on her way to rotate this and then maybe shanghai cowgirl after that. that’s ella, she is blind and a pretty slammin’ party dog. if i had a dog i would call it party dog. no i wouldn’t i would call it frankenstein.
burn! jonathan dropped a can of diet pepsi on his toe and thus opened up a gauntlet of jokes for me all nite long about it (diet pepsi for example what the hell people drink that?), everytime he walked past i held out my beer and went WHOOPS! and pretended like it was going to slip out of my hand. (i will sue you if you steal my material ps.) he was wearing black socks and tevas cos his foot hurt so much that’s how we found out about his toe i was like whatEVER you are wearing sandals at a party then he takes off his sock and i’m all STOP IT I CAN’T BREATHE! i have a dictionary’s worth of burns i made about him all nite long i’ll share with you later.
this is the part where i tell you i have rabbits on my socks, like stuffed bunnies. i went hey want to see something stupid? to brad and busted one out and he snot-laughed basically. you can invite me to your parties if you want.
see? thanks mom!
britt has a tattoo of john lennon’s chop because she thinks she is better than me i will spare you the details of the beatles yoko ono fact fight we had it got a little heated i am basically my dad now.
that’s the drummer for goldfinger.
hey how did you know? gill has a betty boop “thing” it’s kind of scary.
basement ceiling humour.
oh thanks i would LOVE a potato!
so incredibly hung right now go away holiday parties! and my body is sore from pole-dancing and then dancing more last nite i can’t even lift my arms how pathetically out of shape i am too! i remember once i threw a rolled up piece of paper across the room and my arm was sore for like a fucking week!
i am going on a talking-at-parties hiatus.
yeah right you wish.
and did you know that i cannot do the roger rabbit and i tried like fifty times and i looked like carlton on meth? so sad because i really want to do the roger rabbit i think my life would be a lot better if i could do novelty dance moves perfectly.
later i will tell you about some other thing i think was funny that i said but probably isn’t.
i can’t direct-link to the post i want you to read so scroll down to poignant penstrokes nov. 27 2007 on radmad‘s blog.
“this is my favourite excerpt:
and maybe that is why i like talking to you i get the sense that you share a bit of my healthy discontent with the ordinary worlds in which we find ourselves
it is the attitude that nothing is ever just right we can get close – so close - but there is forever an unfinished project ahead
and this is why it is so important to be as optimistic and energetic as we are there is alot of progress to be made“
then read the comment sj left:
You damn bloggers never see the big picture.
Nothing is right?
Miscontent.
What is right?
Why must there be something to be content about?
Can’t you crazy people be content just being?
Or are all of you manic control freaks??
Very confusing lot! sj | 11.29.07 – 12:31 am | #
oh and then i morphed back into my smaller original state.
this is my impression of how i select merchandise at leon’s.
i am a levitating grasshopper how do i have a boyfriend?
here is my future prediction, you will be wasted and you will bump into someone you know and then you will eat something and then go to the bathroom and you will be five dollars poorer. ps. rad tights.
gill gets red-eye in all pictures cos she has stupid huge pretty blue eyes oh and the psychic she saw told her this (more or less), oh really and water is wet you say? nice try.
that’s brit, we are like besties now, well at least we were last nite i hope my magic hasn’t worn off her yet.
sorry i was looking for the BABESROOM it’s here? nevermind found it.
hey liam cirque du soleil called they said keep it!
such nice hair who is that retard beside her?
i swear brad is utterly incapable of having both eyes open simultaneously, that’s like not knowing how to breathe.
this thing is more and more like a potato sack everyday we might have a new item on raymistore soon.
what the hell what? it’s NOT wet it’s the crotch seam shut up!
for some reason we were rippin’er for a little while in this crappy little corner beside this boring office door.
jesus!
back tattoo is jenny, she stood me up once when i was 19, we bumped into each other at the bar and she couldn’t escape me, it was beautifully awkward and i got fully denied a free martini in front of her by the bitchy bar wench, perfect.
hahaha look how glazed over my eyes are. that’s tiffany she is like, obsessed with me and i kept bragging to fil how much she likes me, no, REALLY likes me, she REEEEALLY likes me he’s like please shut up.
marcella on the left was pretty blasted by the end of the evening and our conversation was like this ASRGRDHEPOJG*&^kbKV;OVGDVDFLVDHOI no you are hot no you’re hot no YOU you YOU!
i know sign language.
tiffany told me these were her brothers, her family, and i’m like oh ok so you are all adopted then? ahahahaha. i’m glad they didn’t hear anything of what i was saying. they all work together, hi guys!
i stuffed that pillow into gill’s purse.
now i want a candy cane.
uh oh no shoes i know what that means…
not to be a lesbian or anything but i kind of want to… oh nevermind.
yes we are dancing to home for a rest go canada! speaking of canada, yay!
on my lunchbreak from the paper mill i am yes.
fuck you peter pan i GOT THIS!
uh oh caught mid-dance move.
dudes please, i’m riverdancing in a blue strobelight do you mind?
