i will be a quarter century (oh fuck) old this coming march 31, so we are trying to plan some retarded colossal big blow-out party, and you’re all invited, so, if you were to come, on which day would you vote for it to be? the 31st is a monday so that’s out. please vote in this poll:
i had to explain to fil the other day WHY it is wrong to use the word premenstrual to explain why your girlfriend had a bad time at a concert, to which i said no i used the premenstrual thing as an excuse to make him feel less bad about the entire scene sucking so hard and actually the bad mood was from no carbs or booze and girls wearing goggles on their heads and boys barefoot in dresses and huge spectacles and it being an ALL AGES show. me, i prefer embittered hostile old drunks who can’t be bothered to broadcast their enjoyment. fil was basically like, we went to a show, i had a good time, but raymi didn’t cos she is a PSYCHO HOSE BEAST PERIOD MONSTER BLEEEARGH! that’s how the girl reads it, that’s how all girls read it, and it makes me feel embarrassed, and reducing my shitty time to being premenstrual is just insulting, even if it were true, it certainly isn’t anybody’s right to say so.
then when out for dinner with britt and gill i told them about this and their eyes bulged out of their heads. i think fil got it, even though i know he still doesn’t get it, he at least gets the reaction it derives from the chicks.
so after that we of course regaled him with tales of PERIOD FARTS and PERIOD BOWEL MOVEMENTS and BLOOD and other wonderful stuff i can’t remember at the moment, maybe he can?
Phil: ha ew thankfully i have eaten already
me: ungh what else were we talking about
Phil: shedding of the uterine wall i said that oh
me: ewwwwwwwwwwwwww
Phil: sloughing of the dead uterine cells
me: EWWWWWWWWWWWW
Phil: yep i kicked it up a notch and made it grosser
ancient msn chat from when i was 21 and a total dickhead. not much has changed.
i caught two interesting things on CMT (country music television) last nite i thought hope&faith was on, but instead some music video thing was and the video was scrunched up in the middle of the screen so people’s text messages could ticker along the bottom of the screen (why they couldn’t play over the video i don’t know). now here are the two interesting text messages that stood out the most for me:
1. I LIKE MY CHICKEN FRIED
and
2. COME AND GET SOME
um, the correlation between country music and the IQ of those who listen to it, has that been studied yet?
green thai curry? mussels with far too much cilantro dumped all over. not bad, but not blow my mind amazing either. are mussels ever that good?
fil’s pathetic quesadillas so thin they don’t even register in this picture, the waitress tried to warn him, i think these things (for 8 bones) are a goddamn insult. i gave him my bread to sop up my mussel sauce and asked for more.
britt’s shitty caesar salad and chicken satays.
tiffany’s vegetarian pad thai, purely awful.
gill’s bunless burger, also on the no carbs bandwagon (as is britt).
waiting all day for dinner, thinking about it, lovingly pouring over the restaurant’s menu online a few times, and then having your expectations totally below par met, is enough to make one blow their top. we didn’t complain, just simply never dining there again. get it right rivoli, your food is terrible, over priced and passe.
britt’s jack and 7 limes dessert.
oh hai.
oh great loudmouth old guy next door is at it again.
there were some dance moves last nite i hope no one recognized me.
i also totally looked like a transvestite last nite, i gave my bangs a teeny chop and applied red halloween makeup as lipstick. party.
THE LIBRARY IS THAT WAY YOU SAY?
never eating at the rivoli again.
also, here is my outfit that fil said did not look too crazy.
autistic party of 1.
sorry, bitches love these fugly glasses.
oh steve will we ever get along?
sorry run dmc much? that aqua green print on liam’s hand i didn’t believe it was a tattoo, i asked if i could try and rub it off, so i spat on my fingers and went to town. it did not come off.
i’ve gone 6 days w/o carbs now, no breads, pastas, rice, chips, crackers – i didn’t notice before how essential crackers are for cheese consumption, like at a party just holding a piece of brie in the palm of your hand, or pate (pa-tay) – i even tore all the cheese and pepperoni off two tiny square slices of pizza at the whipper snapper gallery on saturday nite. i’ve been eating the salmon and chicken out of microwave meals and giving the rice, risotto whatever bit to fil. my stomach is a bit slimmer i’ve noticed and i’ve been boozing less, and sticking to my no beer policy, i only had one tiny cup of wine at the gallery cos there wasn’t vodka, other than that it’s all vodka god ok sorry i should have told you to skip this post.
she mixed them for me, and they smell great, i think i like the limes des buros slightly more.
right at home in cougar corner.
now it’s no secret that i sweat like a fucking pig so i decided to finally give this clinical stuff a whirl and at $8.49 it BETTER WORK! haha i just picked up on the secret/it’s no secret connection.
and it does, but, it’s either the scent i chose or this stuff smells reminiscent of nair, no jokes guy. i am pumped to be globbing the most extreme of alzheimer’s bait on my arms now yes, when i lose my memory in the future and it’s dementia party time, we can all fondly look back on this blog post.
now on to dinner, we did this recipe but i forgot about the rosemary and in lieu of radicchio we used belgian endives (less bitter turns out, and was a total fluke cos we didn’t know what radicchio looks like). we also didn’t do the calamari part of this dish, we don’t have a bbq.
calls for 8 baby leeks but loblaws only carries these massive guys, parboil ‘em for a few minutes in salt water to get the starch toughness out of them (and to get the ball rolling).
2 endives.
hot chorizo sausage for the dressing.
throw it in hot olive oil and cook ’til the fat renders out (whatever that fucking means) and then add chopped garlic, mix it around for 30 seconds then remove from heat, add three tablespoons of balsamic and squeeze half a lemon on top. that’s your warm dressing and it will give your boner a boner.
cos of no bbq we did a baking sheet with tin foil, you put the leeks in first and dress them in olive oil and salt, brown on both sides, then you add the fennel, dry, brown both sides then cover in the endives (or radicchio) to wilt.
take out the leeks if they got too burny like ours did still, they taste fantastic, like crispy potato chips, on the ends.
drink some scotch and diet coke cos you are on a diet and want to destroy the universe. this took a lot longer to do the veg because of the lack of bbq grill.
mix it all together in a big bowl.
use the spriggy grass airy fairy shit from the fennel as garnish.
i liked it more than fil, i think had i remembered the rosemary he would have dug it more. all in all it is good to try new things, next time i think we’ll avoid the fennel and do it with mesclun greens.
