i watched that heaven’s gate thing on tlc last nite TWICE. the first time actually only caught the end of it and me and fil were bummed i had flipped past it several times thinking BORING people sitting in lawnchairs TALKING in bad outfits.
me: i do not like beer to taste like it was filtered through soil i do not like to taste the forest, beer should taste like beer not rocks and dirt and leaves and twigs
kiefer is the tour manager and he is a completely inexperienced fuck-up and it is BEAUTIFUL, he’s there when they don’t need him, eating a steak and pizza alone in a bar not answering his phone when they do.
oh man i am doing the second half of my archives post and i just came across this poem i wrote last year about this blog and almost shit my jogging pants laughing.
a poem by raymi
this blog is the best all other blogs are inferior they should be laid to rest oh this blog is the best the best best best best BEST
the internet was invented for me only, i don’t care what you heard about the army this blog has big muscles and they got that way from dumb bells
sometimes your parents read my blog and even your dog and they wish i was their daughter because i am way hotter
oh this blog is the best it would score 100 per cent on a test oh this blog is the best it has the nicest chest
my template is amazing it tastes like gravy
this blog is ethical and political and you cry like a little girl and your jokes aren’t funny and you don’t have any money
this blog is your only friend it is very good looking the end
there’s been some concern expressed over my new jogging pants, here let me clear that up for you.
no probs yet huh?
FIL WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY BLYTHE DOLL!? oh you dropped it when you were on the fone, all casual-like, oh i can be casual too, yeah real casual over my 150 fucking dollar blythe doll you didn’t even bother to right the hair of to cover up the evidence!
uh does this look like a salad to you? a 9 dollar salad at that?
oh well. it was really good, spicy tuna avocado. i had to order some yakitori to fill up.
one was enough, fil had the other. 4.95, it was really good, i was expecting a puny little skewer, i will so go back and eat the shit out of more, no carbs no carbs no carbs explosion!
drop the advice, i’ve had to blast two of you now, for example:
A 70s bush? Why oh why, Raymi. And you’re such a pretty lass.
How on earth will Fil find the way IN~??!? Gledwood | Edit comment Delete comment | Homepage | 03.05.08 – 10:55 am | #
have you ever bumped into a cool stick ever in your life before? it’s this stick that someone cast a coolness spell on and if it touches you just a little bit, this magical thing happens where everything in the universe makes sense and you stop wearing tapered jeans and hairspray. good luck finding one! raymi | Edit comment Delete comment | Homepage | 03.05.08 – 10:57 am | #
oh and one more
nasty boots, only woman think they look good, they don’t. sexy white dress, and wear them with white or sheer tights, good look. last picture, yum. Raymi is looking well. Deirdre | Edit comment Delete comment | Email | 03.05.08 – 5:16 am | #
what are you saying deirdre? nasty boots what? im not even wearing boots in this post, unless you mean my heels, so that and your white or sheer tights (barf) suggestion, don’t fucking come around here with fashion advice. ever. only a fossil would suggest sheer tights. you don’t know what you are talking about, at all. lets see your closet.
i hate geriatric cunts who give me fashion advice like they just stumbled upon my blog yesterday and know nothing about my style which is culled from pilgrims and mental patients raymi | Edit comment Delete comment | Homepage | 03.05.08 – 10:23 am | #
just pretend for one second that i am light years ahead of you style wise, trend wise, everything wise, and that i also do not budge on my choices, ever, and that i can wear a garbage bag and make it work. stop bringing me down with your little suggestions, i don’t need them, i know exactly what i’m doing, hey, how’s your life how are your friends, how are you a reputable source at all who are you again? you can take your safe outfits and shove them up your fucking ass. nothing personal ok?
instead, you can say things like this
You are still the awesome, and I continue to feel guilty for reading your blog without talking to you coz I love your blog. I hope you realize what a fixture you are in so many lives. And I hope some day you come to Vancouver and we will be your party (and of course all possible alcohol I can pour down your throat) ambassadors! -lauren g.
no i did not write that to myself, if i wrote myself a fan letter you would murder yourself if you read it.
oh yeah watch out for mikey
oh my god just shut up and go to therapy!
josh ritter gave me an entire bottle of wine last nite, i poked my head in his dressing room asking if he had any snacks and boom, one more bottle added to our hotel party drunkening with emm, her husband (fil’s cuz. sean) and derlicte. we didn’t get to bed ’til 4am my hangover will kick in around 2 this afternoon. we partied to the clock radio, it was good.
emm was trying to tell me about how good tabi socks are, you know that grandma store, my brain shut off when the reason why came out, i must have subconsciously absorbed some of whatever she was selling cos i want to go to tabi right now and study their socks.
here are some other bloomers i bought from honest ed’s 6 years ago!
grow the fuck up.
and, well, if anyone cares i’m totally cultivating a 70s bush right now, it’s a self-sanctioned punishment to motivate me in becoming more of a skeleton via this no carbs thing, yesterday i finally trimmed at it but still man, it’s basically a jungle landing strip reminiscent of cocaine playboy era. holla.
ok soooooo SCOTTY CAPS LOCK just reminded to tell you about our jugo juice experience friday so here it is – lately it seems there’s been a slew of bad food experiences. sigh. ok so friday was weaselpalooza so we took the subway to union, i wanted there to be time to eat at marche then walk over to union then do the shortcut to the roundhouse, but there wasn’t so i caved and said fine i’ll get a wrap at jugo juice DESPITE being on a no carb thing, anyway, we order fil also gets a juice, we wait forever, the kids working are more focused on their cellphone music list selection than on my turkey wrap totally getting charred in the grill press, and another chick is chopping fruit. finally they pass it over, we take it to those stand up tables by cinnabon that are always filthy and i take the first bite and fil is mowing down on his half and then just after i declare how it has been a week since i have had carbs and am about to take my second bite, fil pulls this gigantic piece of parchment paper out of his throat so i say oh fuck THIS! slam my half into the box and his and the parchment paper and go back to jugo juice and say i want my money back, this is burnt AND there was this huge piece of paper in it! then they all take turns playing dumb, not speaking english and i wait at the head of the line calmly, but gradually fuming cos i’m starved and just totally frustrated by the one chick pointing at me to go to the line to complain cos she is chopping fruit and too busy to turn around and tap the other lady on her shoulder, the one who put the wrap in the grill to begin with. yeah parchment paper isn’t a big deal, i just know that once i tucked into my half more the other part of the paper woulda been in it. their attitudes pissed me right the fuck off.
oh and to top it off i think the girl in line behind me who i was forced to interrupt was a bartender at weaselpalooza at the wine table, looked like her, so all nite long i was wondering if it was her and felt embarrassed.
i was cornered by a crazy dude here cos of the pageboy hat i wore out yesterday, holy shit awkward, telling me about swing dancing and this other type of dance for like 5 minutes and i’m trying to be polite but still obviously making i need to go noises and he picked up on none of them. anyway, these ties are 2.99, i couldn’t decide on what colour for fil plus crazyface was talking to me so i took a picture and ran away.
new aladdin flats for spring, look way better on your person than just sitting there all ugly like that. had to get a size 9 cos 8 and 8.5 pinched up a storm, these slip a bit so who knows if i will even be able to bust em out. sigh.
99 cents each!
i decided i want to try out the dumpy ass jogging pants college girl look, too bad my ass is so curvy (perfect!) it doesn’t get lost in those guys at all.
boner killer briefs, too embarrassed to show you the unfolded picture of, ha, fil was aghast at their dumpyness. me? derno why i am so drawn to these things.
and why i want to have a dance on bed slumber party when i wear them?
not mine. raymi’s fan club texted me and asked to join them for sushi, i was actually on my way out to rolu so i called their bluff and joined them. raymi’s fan club is comprised of two girls who used to troll my comments and say nasty/nice/jealous things to me and now they have finally come to terms with their love of all things raymi, quite interesting really. i let them follow me around bloor while i did some errands and they killed time before a show at the opera house.
waited for death to take me but then i ran out of chips and had to go downstairs in the dark to get more because eating chips can save your life.
Jamie: oh yeah also that guy who “reviewed” your blog how come anytime anyone “stumbles” onto your blog, (they never know how they got there) They always try so hard to sound non-chalant about it. “I guess she’s some kind of this or that…” they’re never committed or say, “this blog is great, and here’s why.” It’s always, “For some strange reason I can’t turn away.”
last nite i watched parts of madonna’s confessions tour and holy crap it is going to change my life i decided i am going to have a dancer’s body again and i am going to achieve this without walking into a gym.
you could also say the pistol they carry is symbolic why i don’t know or care cos everytime it is mentioned i get scared because that means something dangerous is happening or about to happen.
i totally have some catty things to say about a couple other bloggers but i think i will hold back the bullshit for once in my life.
in case you forgot how sad, pervy, lame, pathetic, and desperate men are i give you teddy babes
i just realised that it is march break and i was on the toilet evacuating my hangover bowels and then i thought KIDS ARE ON VACATION RIGHT NOW AS IN AT A PARK OR PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND HANGING OUT AT THE MALL THOSE FUCKING ASSHOLES!
Phil: you should get into drinking tomato juice for a high
i love kirsten dunst LEAVE HER ALONE PEREZ HILTON!
too bad there wasn’t internet back then i would have written on my marie antoinette blog YOU ARE ALL COCK-LICKING LIARS I DID NOT SAY LET THEM EAT CAKE THAT IS THE LAMEST ZING EVER!
man if i was in the bath right now i would have to sit very still so they couldnt hear the water
merkley???: got this email from a 16 year old today u r such a mother fucker!!!!!!!!! how could u hate horses u r a cheap ass hoe who does not know his ass from his head you probably dont even have a brain you cheap ass mother fucker fuck you up ur fucking ass you ass whole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
