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May 22, 2019

Drop everything and pay attention to me listen to me. Okay good you already did that. Did you know that the last time I blogged here was in December? Yeah, that’s the longest drought my homies but why is today so special? Well I have an abundance of self confidence is one. It comes, it plateaus. I’m ambivalent. Cocky. I gave up. Nahh. I finally got my hair done, which helps a bunch then I got more sun on my skin, likin’ how I am looking but namely the Vitamin D for sure saves the day creatively speaking. If I am bummed then I do not feel like opening up, exposing myself, or being seen. Enough time has passed here. I wanted to only ever be a writer which is something that has quarreled with my alleged narcissism. Or self worth, my value. Yeah, yeah, I know my voice is strong and clever and I have a mania to my thoughts that seems to never end I can turn a phrase BUT some of me the past little while was like SO FUCKING WHAT.

Not really, let me explain. I did a lot of input and very little output. I have given myself a lot of time to think and think I do. Then the ideas pile up, stifle you so much so that you don’t know where to begin. You fall out of love with yourself and start to think like everyone else has too because you don’t throw your hat in the ring anymore. More than half the work is just showing up and not to say that a lot of people’s “work” at social media wind-baggery isn’t decent or anything just saying SOooooo much over-saturation, no fucking substance, nothing new, or clever. Or I have just been over-consuming out of boredom (yes) and there are just too many instagram-dominant ventures taking over I don’t even know what I am fucking doing anymore there.

When people say I could do that — but, you didn’t lmao. I get it, I get it.

All I ever wanted was to write books and be this dweeb inhabiting a charming world so I sought out to do a lot of fun things, pursue shit, be adventurous, so I’d have things to say and to write about. I did that, but things didn’t turn out the way I thought. I get gigs and I’m privileged. I have opportunities and I also am verrrrrrry much so an under-achiever like, I’ll get to it eventually because I know my talent is that good. Or that thing will happen then somewhere along the way things will fall into place. The lazy man’s route. Which is much encoded by fear. Fear of doing nothing, becoming nothing, and quitting on yourself. Wait. I meant that I don’t like to worry about things so then I distract myself therefore I cannot worry about things. I have been protecting myself my whole life and lately I have been selfish with, myself and my time. I have played the role of observer and it makes me feel like a hot fucking waste. Good job, you did nothing.

Do I want to be an influencer in this day and age? Yes. But it’s not my bag, baby. It’s not. All that crap got in the way of the magic here. I do understand that flogging for $ is hella part of it but I am so mentally exhausted that once I do THAT post I am SPENT for any of the extra superfluous crap that I excel at — selfies navel-gazing food I ate tv I watched in between the lines gossip and humour. It’s probably because I never evolved to update certain skills, platforms too, and from burning myself out after 18 years of blogging. I have adopted a fuck it these people can wait mentality. I still want to be bigger than I am and better but there is a huge turn off in over-achievers or their racket is too good and believable. Always self-promotion and selling. Like fuck off shut up!

I think part of the problem is I don’t know what I want and I don’t know what I don’t want and I think I have this abundance of time. I was told I don’t have enough anxiety. What??? Not no more, bud. Anxiety for me works personally like the fire is lit and I now see that I am the last one to figure out that I am a loser and the abundance of time was a lie. I am just opening myself up and being vulnerable now, for once. It feels good. It feels good to talk shit and deflect then sneak in the parts that scare you the most. I don’t think I know one person who has it all figured out, do you? Even the perfectionists are unhappy. Actually tbh, they’re the most unhappy of all because they can’t enjoy what they have they are always looking to the next thing and crap to control.

Wow I’ve said a mouthful. I uploaded all these pictures from the last few days, or began to and the download process did not jive with my attention span so I wrote all this instead. I have fallen out of love with this art form in that the painstaking focus I used to grant it is harder now. Everything changes. Everything.

Picture me taking a bow.

and scene.

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December 11, 2018

Hello its been awhile. Thirteen days, to be exact. Which is a short while if you consider my infrequency yadda yadda ya. I’m ready if you are.

I felt like I was in the mood to blog yesterday and today but now here I am and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Hey is that that “cell phone charger” purse everyone made fun of Kim Kardashian for not too long ago? I think it is or something thereof and now I want it… so small and compact, for all the clubbing that I do not do.

One Christmas, two ago, I showed up to my Nana’s wearing this and my mom was wearing a red plaid shift dress too. We have had this happen many times over the years it’s a cosmic like mother like daughter thing, with no prior planning or talking, it just happens.

This post is just an old fashioned smattering. Blogging for the sake of blogging. Blog and telling. Honestly, the good things that happen just from pressing publish here sometimes y’all might just try it for yourselves huh? Talk less shit and do more shit.

How to make friends: buy some.

Hi girls.

Bedridden all weekend basically movie after movie bender. We went out for Mr. Greek Sunday early night and it was DEAD. The soup sucked. The salad, okay.

I don’t mind the post apocalyptic vibe after watching infinity end of the world movies this weekend. This setting would be trashed if that were real. I know they hooked it up with Dollarama decorations as there was one in the parking lot and I used MY BRAIN.

Looked normal but was bland. Needed soup all the same ah suppose.

Not the best foodie photo in terms of subject.

On my walk home the other night. This store always has a cute display alack I’m not into clutter I have enough but I appreciate the artwork. We are drawn to things that remind us of things we once experienced or owned, another time period.

I’m blessed I don’t have a sweet tooth. I love photographing sweets though, decadent, colourful, darling confectionaries that they are. I can’t walk by a Fortino’s bakery showcase without getting whiplash on my phone camera arm capturing those bad boys fast enough. Stay tuned on this though I just recalled something I have coming down the pipeline for y’all regarding dessert.

I think this is the Kylie lipstick app. It’s basic. I dun curr.

My NEXT post will be about the ADVENTURES OF RAYMARIE. Get it? Marie and me? BYE BRANGELINA.

Big appreciator of the Burlington sunset game. It’s always gorgeous from the vantage point of this parking lot. It is the best I don’t care how much suburban shit is in the way.

Oh hi there you’ve been indoctrinated into the Burlington town club :).

I do it’s true. It stems from year’s back during my early hey day of emo selfies gazing into the lens trying to out-stare myself. I am the subject, I am the artist gazing back at. Some people have resting bitch face, me? Stoic. Because my mind is sizing up everything before me, calculating shit I is busy guy. I also admire the vacancy a la editorial aesthetic.

I love Toronto. You get to go on a magical Christmas adventure everywhere you turn.

Last week Monday and now she’s back in Mumbai honestly one of my greatest lesser known lowkey pals, cos of that whole doesn’t live here thing but we’re all huge fans. Come back soon!

Nostrils check. jk. I was just so tired-looking this day it seemed to be the only flattering angle to get me at. I worked at wework this day because a mystery package arrived of beautiful psychedelic lipsticks and sometimes the universe is like Raymi here, you need some more disco in your life and you are like yasss bitch!

This lipstain stays on hours so I don’t have to feel naked lipped like I normally am. It’s all in the details.

Yesturrrrrrday and I am okay with that.

Always take several variations of the same picture so as to ensure pissing off everybody.

Got these for my Dad lol. We should live in a society where we get paid for a brief review of every item we ever buy as to always be making money back. I’m not wrong. Like, if you wanted to know my thoughts about either of these things? You gotta pay for that even if it’s a shit review you get paid oh the things I would say about this grilled chicken pasta lean cuisine CRAP A LA CRAP right now. There is my brief review now put $1 into my account thanks bye hahaha.

Nana’s tree on fleek. Always is. Oh but if this tree could talk lol.

Sure I’m down you know it.

Work hallway.

Wedge salad I can still taste, think about, and will eat again.

This is the other bathroom at work it took me a few weeks to even discover. The other one is hella drab so I was like SWEET RELIEF when I discovered this one.

Oh hi there she is!

We shared mussels, the special. Two orders. Patrick from work was there too. It was a very chilly night.

And yes I was as I feel like I do nothing mostly, which is fine I don’t feel the burning sensation to show a non-stop cocktail party lifestyle full of fabulous shit I much enjoy the mundane simple pleasures blah blah but I do like to go out a wee bit to balance it out, the cold weather makes me feel claustrophobic from hibernation at times which makes Toronto ideal because there are just so many various pockets of entertainment for you to explore when you start climbing the walls.

Alright I get it, you get it? Have a good one!

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November 28, 2018

First of all, Happy Birthday Dad. Thank you for tolerating me for the passed 19 years congratulating myself on YOUR birthday each November 28th and how fucking annoying that probably has been for you (coupled by moments of pride of course maybe hopefully).

Secondly, today is the day 19 years ago (in the year 2000) at the age of seventeen I started up LIFE HAPPENS TO RAYMI and began manipulating my way through the world wide web. I knew I wasn’t pretty enough alone to snatch your focus. I knew I was an egotistical big mouth and figured a steady systematic stream of daily, hourly, blog rants, showcasing my amusing insights and witty insults would amass a following. I transferred my popular “brand” from the VICE message board forums to my own little blog and the rest is HERSTORY. I didn’t care about grammar. I adopted my own style and my voice evolved over the years, people “got it”. I predated trolls, got good at fighting them, then good at fleeing them.

Things I did and shared online weren’t commonplace back then. Yes I paved the way. Yes people cared. No I don’t have a big ego (as much) anymore. Would I do things differently? Yes of course, who wouldn’t? Yes I am aware of my bitchy persona, half-hated, emulated. Everyone hates everyone on the internet, social media. It’s a game. Everyone is phony. Everyone talks shit. Facebook is so out of control I bet many can’t remember a life without it or that it outright conquered blogs. I remember when I used to blog more frequently alongside Facebooking and twitter all that, someone I knew was like BUT how do I SEE YOUR BLOG THOUGH??? People forgot that the web is wide open and that you can navigate outside of Facebook. The simple act of having to click a fucking web address is foreign now. The world has gotten a lot dumber, and how.

This blog domain expires in two months yes I’ll renew it. How insane would that be to just be like, bye. Very. Yeah I know I seldom update and that I have said I would more and then I don’t. Life gets busy. I know journaling, diarying, is good for my mind which is what started this beautiful mess in the first place. Yes I know I waste my talent and that when I write, when I speak, people listen and they like it or at least are entertained by it and I can write circles around ya and I’m funny and sharp and quick and and and… so. This is another check-in reminder that we still here and I am honouring this milestone today so thank you for being a blog nerd fan girl boy for all these years still that was good on you.

We’ll be in touch, til then take care all the best. Your pal Raymi.

ps. do you know anyone who has blogged as long as me? I don’t. #First #Swish.

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November 8, 2018

Raymi the Minx on a Masterlift forklift at Maverick Distillery

Forklifts and vodka don’t mix, except at Maverick Distillery where a propane-powered Masterlift forklift moves crates full of spirit in their warehouse.

In October 2018, I put on a couple different cocktail dresses and posed on a forklift for some fellas making a print calendar filled with pretty faces.  We shot the scene in the warehouse foyer between the factory and the loading dock.  I had choice and could wear Maverick’s uniform or my own smock. Now I look at these pictures and wonder, what month I will be?

Raymi Minx photo shoot Maverick Distillery, Masterlift forklift

Every model is the cover story for thirty days in Masterlift’s 2019 print calendar; every photo hopes to show an interesting person doing curious things on or near their heavy equipment.  Here I am backing up their big ass forklift.

Most forklifts are made with heavy rear-ends as a counter balance.  Lead weights at the rear of the truck counter the load on the forks which is so the rig doesn’t tip forward when you go bumping through the warehouse. This truck has a tall loader – you can raise the forks up over sixteen feet, and it can lift over 4500 lbs of stuff on a single pallet.  It has lights, a backup beeper alarm, and lots of handy mirrors in which forklift drivers can check their appearance anytime, even when they are driving.

Raymi on Masterlift forklift at Maverick vodka distillery in Etobicoke

We shot during business hours, and there were people working for real all around us.  Warehouse staff were getting ready for a shipment going out at noon.  They were packing bottles into cases and then Saran wrapping the stack to make cubes for truck n trailer transport.  They used the lift to make a pallet train on the locking dock. Stacked in columns over twelve feet tall, these square pillars of alcohol are Maverick Distillery’s stash, perilous towers of corn mash, tall pillars of cash, one wrong move and smash. Did you know that having more than five drinks in one sitting is considered binge drinking?

At Maverick there’s a hard line between being a professional forklift operator and an experienced forklift driver. Did you read the safety manual? Did you do a circle check?

Which is more popular in Ontario LCBO Stores, Whiskey or Vodka?

Now some little known facts about whisky and vodka in Ontario (courtesy of the LCBO 2016 /17). Whisky is the largest percentage of spirits sold at LCBO (31 per cent of sales) which equals approximately $703.4 million dollars worth across the province.  Vodka is the second-largest segment (23 per cent of sales) at $514.4 million.

Maverick makes vodka from Ontario corn, and has already won top awards for its product at tastings and spirit competitions around the world.  Showing up and winning acclaim at their beverage award shows was how Maverick Distillery expanded to sell vodka in countries like Columbia, Australia and Japan.  And the journey to get there starts here in this loading dock, with this forklift.

Burt Reynolds on a forklift in Smokey and the Bandit

And then it was over. Raymi left the building.

Raymi the Minx at Maverick Distillery for Masterlift calendar

On that day Maverick vodka was served shaken and stirred.

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October 23, 2018

Hey guys, I got a bill for this site today. It feels like I just paid my last one (because I did) and already again $216 for a year of hosting this POS so, this post is an official announcement regarding the expensive toy I seldom play with that is my blog and henceforth once I get all this blathering out of the way first, I vow to BLOG AGAIN. So, you may feel free to look forward to that and moreover we will be revamping the look and feel over here too and hopefully we will be aligned with the year 2018.

Politically corrected speakingly, negatory, well maybe not so bad. We are LGBTQ etc friendly over here and we ain’t no racists neither.

As you were and until then your loyal dealer, I mean leader,



ps. on my way to be on the radio talking about online dating on a panel. you can hear it broadcast Sunday. There will be promo pictures ooh la la ttyl.

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September 19, 2018

Hey all Happy September!

Boy, time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana Hey-oh!

Hi ma. Nice seein’ ya last week I’ll be in the hood again today so holla at’cher girl.

Instagram stories crop your pic like so. Meh. Sorry for phoning it in, this is us Friday on our way up north.

Yesterday at my friend Tamara’s building. Love these colours.

On my travels last night. I like creepy things… empty, haunting spaces at night.



I’m a TTC convert now. Sucks when there’s delays now I get the pain of the city when shit shuts down. Hating myself moreso for allowing the uber addiction and fear of public transportation rule me and my bank account what a waste I am still paying for *swan dives off a cliff*.

Mad love for this work space.

I’d wager that the owner of this Porsche is a fun person.

Or they are colour blind.

Last weekend was beautiful weather more of that, yo!


Two things. First thing, this was terribly hilarious to me at the time and the second thing is I thought it would sell this side of the bed and be more appealing. We fight over not sleeping on the inside of the bed and it worked, well I won but the unicorn didn’t actually help.

The first day of fall is in 3 days, Sept 22 *swan dives off an even bigger cliff*.

Random street pose. Dena my work gal pal indulges this behaviour big time.

I am impressed that the food at the Rhino is not as shitty as I last recall and the service is slightly less offensively slow too. It’s not the Rhino unless you recognize at least 5 people on the patio or walking by, as I did.

Burrito bowl with pulled chicken and tons of basmati rice beneath it was very good and I was an in a state of emotional eating so I ate all of it. Next time I’d share. Sometimes there is no off button for my eating/consumption like some morbidly obese people are afflicted by. I try not to live to eat but eat to live but who am I kidding it’s the former for certain.

There was a fire drill last week so I went here to use the bathroom then bumped into some colleagues and it turned into the best fire drill ever. I was not enthused by it being the day after 9/11 being in a claustrophobic stairwell crammed with people holy jeez. I use those stairs all the time anyway instead of the elevator because I’m a hyper-hypo and also yeah PTSD I need to just flee and not rely on elevators personally, and there’s those types in a crowd who will go slow and fuck it up for the rest of us and then the fast ones who will carve out a path through the herd and guess which type I am.

Another pig out day. This is after we both had a shawarma. Saw a sign for 2 for 9.50 (a great deal!) and it was delicious so much so we stayed and ordered a plate I think I immediately passed out when we got home. Great success! This week I’m doing a healthier thing so shush it up buttercups.

Last Monday or was it Tuesday, was it a long weekend last weekend? Anyway, whatever day this was was so depressing and rainy I hated it. I had to go around town to get some shit done, didn’t realize the agency I was going to had moved. So I got to spend extra time in the rain and I chose this particular course because there was a florist shoppe nearby it was all supposed to pan out from the train station I chose to travel to blah blah I kept it cool but it’s funny all the horrible thoughts that can go through one’s mind when they’re walking in the city rain. It was worth stopping to take this cute pic.

If you’re going to give flowers get something that lasts.

I may or may not have added one of these to the orchids. I JUST CANT HELP IT I’M A JAPANESE GIRL TRAPPED UP IN HURRRR.

Toronto gardens are adorable. I love those limited space ones in L’il Italy or wherever that are jam packed with crazy shit!

If you wanna come by for some backgammon lemme know.

Delish bday drank with Dena. I feel like I got a lot out of summer but I also feel like it whizzed right on by too quickly.

Weird pose I don’t care I love this dress Dena needed to go stress shopping at Winners one day at lunch time and I’m the one who ended up spending more oh well worth it. I love this dress however there is a gigantic black stain on the back from grease or some oil. Sadness. I bet I’ll wear it around xmas time for sure.

Another Raymazing pose don’t care I felt hot this day so I am owning it.

Hi again. This is what happens when you blog once a month you have a collection of hoarded photos.

TTYL thanks for dropping in these super posts take hella long and I promise you won’t have to wait a month for the next one.

You heard the sidewalk.

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August 17, 2018

Wagwan friends and foes, how’s your August? It’s just flyin’ by eh. Damn.

So this here is a blog post. One of the things I used to do to summarize this life I live and account for some kind of meaningful existence. I used to blog fiendishly around the age of 19 because it justified the partying I did when I lived on Crawford in Lil Italy, Toronto… the reckless behaviour everyone that age does and all of it is written down in this same blog if you can believe it.

I can remember about skipping the line at Mod Club when it was still at Lava lounge. Wednesday night was the night of the Mods in Toronto and Saturdays were Blow Up. I remember watching Esthero talk to the door guy from my spot in line and I said to myself, Raymi, when she fucks off go do the same. And I did. The door guys at Lava recognized me all the time and my annoying pushy ways so I always walked in when they’d wave me passed the peeps waiting in line. We all have had our Club 54 moments and some of us are better at remembering them than others, or bother to write about it.

I have been known to be dramatic. I have always romanticized the moments of my life. Chosen endeavours just so I could write about them or experience that weird thing. The problem is that there became too many things to write about, being so overwhelmed by that and guilted from the pile-up of things I didn’t write about… so you just social media instead. Blogs lost. Drat.

I know people out there still read because I read articles every day. I read the entire internet every day. I know what all the buzzfeed and jezebel news, pop culture, memes, celebrity breakups, deaths, disturbing breaking news stories are at all times my mind is so full of garbage, valuable and not and I am so caught up by it I don’t stop to reflect at all in fact, I crave it even more. Do you hit the hourglass on your twitter search? Well I do and that’s how you get the best fastest trending news.

Haha I love how I just bragged about reading the internet a lot. stfu raymi

I went rock climbing this week. was exhilarating. Lots of adrenaline and a great workout. Will do it again for sure. I am very competitive so if you are, you should give’r a go. We did another feature on Raymi Toronto too, check it out.

I am afraid of heights so I’m glad I could climb and put that thought out of my head. By the end of the class you’re climbing without the harness.

Don’t care how old I get a part of me will always stay young and childlike. Fun keeps you young, young looking, happy, feeling good, all that jazz. Being a miserable crab does you no good. I understand it’s hard for some people to be happy and enjoy their life, it’s partially mental illness for sure (and circumstance). You just have to keep trying. We all go through bad periods and we never think things will get better, but they do. You just can’t wish things to happen you need to take action. When you make changes that’s when good things happen. Change is good.

I think being kind of a goof is God’s doing of helping me self-preserve and protect myself from all you assholes out there. Then he sprinkled self confidence, a big mouth with a rich mind and some good looks c’est voila, work with that. Do I believe in God? I dunno. It’s like, just an expression haha. All our genetic make-ups, DNA, and personality styles that change with evolution and I don’t really know what I’m saying. Some are more cunning than others and most are said to be just, born stupid. Brainwashed masses ordinary types but who is actually smarter, them or us. Blissfully settled normal people or those who feel the pains of the world and try to do something, can’t sleep at night from anxiety and worry… but also know how to spell properly.

Saw my Hair guru Donna Dolphy yesterday and she made me pretty again.

We have a good time and then we hit the fatigue wall and just existed in silence together trying to get through the appt.

This is Dena my work friend we are both ADD meant to be. It’s a blast hanging out with her, talking and walking and girls gotta stick together we both work in boys clubs so, yeah. Luh her.

My bf says he likes leather pants so I tried some on to see what the fuss was about and if I even look good in them. 5lbs lighter, some toning, then we’ll talk.

The many musical minstrels in Toronto warm my heart. Check her out. Bravo and obviously so charming from this angle up here.

I am grateful for my life and everything in it which is why I give back as often as I can, give my time to others, and try to be selfless to balance out the good fortune.

This was after I sneaked up alone and took a selfie. Part of climbing is falling and learning how to land.

This was last Sunday. We aren’t going up this weekend cos we’re goin’ to a wedding elsewhere. Should be fun.

We went for tacos on Monday, good deal. Quality of food….ok for a “smallerish” town. The beef I was not impressed with it was ground like come on make effort. BF said get steak next time then. Agree.

I am in love with the heat right now and it did almost feel like a vacay… okay staycation I hope it stays hot for a long time. If you read my blog in August or September and October it’s the same shit every year you can hear how depressed I am, I mean READ how depressed I am about the weather changing. Oh you love fall? Why? it only leads to winter you idiot which lasts forever so STOP.


Those are my safety shoes. I look like a waitress. Part of the fun of life are the costumes we wear and the manner in which we express ourselves. I like to walk softly and carry a big stick rather than overdo it glamwise. Once in awhile yes I love to dress up-UP like tomorrow I will wear two different outfits, one at the ceremony and one at the reception. I am worried about footwear though.

I asked our work neighbours across the hall to let me look out this window and see if it was raining yet then I had to take a picture I just love a good snoop, passing it along to you.

Dena took this she was like work the angles, and angle, click. Work the angle. And pose. We got it done!!!

The ghost image on the tree + doggy ftw.

that sky

The curls like instantly dropped. Too humid. Lovely while they lasted though.

ok we get it.

Okay that’s the last butt pic for awhile. I will state that I don’t feel it’s right to butt shame me I can’t help having an immaculate ass so much so that just seeing it invokes all kinds of emotions like, it’s my body it’s what I look like if my bathing suit is eaten by it it’s not my fault it’s just legs and ass grow up get over it it’s summer bye bye.

Okay I’ve had enough and you probably have too have a great weekend, don’t be a stranger and remember it’s not about what I look like it’s about the fun I am having.

Live your best life as they say.

BONUS POINTS if you can name the band who does the song that this blog post is titled as.

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August 16, 2018

Raymi on Scollard St pre climb before the gymLast Wednesday the middle of August we went to Markham rock climbing at The Hub with friends a plenty along for the ride. We were in a newish black Dodge caravan.  Casie was there, and so was Joel, and Martin and Steven Branco and ..

casie Stewart with Raymi the Minx - 15 August 2018

The smell of the Amicos deluxe pizza from Parkdale still lingers in that van, wherever it is now.

Raymi with Amicos Pizza in vanWe went straight up the Don Valley Parkway at rush hour all the way to Markham and somehow managed to get there in under forty minutes.  Reflecting back on the group conversations and laughs in the van, the drive was one of the best parts of the nite.

arrived alive at Hub Climbing in MarkhamRegistering and watching the Hub Climbing orientation and legal cover-your-ass videos were not. Uggh . Why does everything cool these day require filling out forms and signing waivers? Don’t answer. I know. Somebody somewhere died once and ruined it for everyone.

signing waivers at Hub ClimbingRaymi-signs-waiver

Now if there’s even a hint of danger there’s a form to fill out. Pretty soon there will be forms and waivers at restaurants when you order shellfish, or more than three drinks.

Brandon Rowland at Hub Climbing leads the orientation

The danger started immediately – we learned how to fall.  First from a small wall and then from a great height.

learning how to fall from a great height at Hub ClimbingWe fell.

falling off the wall at Hub Climbing in Markham

And then we had a bouldering orientation.bouldering orientationWhich is required before anyone can go off bouldering on their own.

Bouldering is what rock climbers call traversing or climbing over things without ropes to catch you when you fall (you don’t need them cause the ground is close by and covered in soft foam mats). Bouldering happens on a horizontal plane of stepping stone rocks and Brandon’s orientation shared wisdom regarding the alphanumeric codes and the colour of the rocks. And how to be safe.

Brandon Rowland takes group on tour of the Hub climbing gym in Markham

Brandon’s Orientation Tour took us all over the gym. He would stop now and then to caution us sternly about where to look up, and why, especially when passing under arches.  He used the technical term pancake to describe what could happen here.

And then just like that we were free to climb and explore all the challenges on our own. And we climbed the walls with abandon but of course we were still being supervised as that is the name of this particular activity – Supervised Climbing.

Raymi the Minx rock climbing at Hub Climbing in Markham - 15 Aug 2018

Then we did speed climbs – twenty four feet straight up in …. how many seconds?  This wall seems taller than the others.   Martin could do it under ten seconds, and Joel did it in 11 seconds.

Martin Dasko does the speed climb wall

My time was 18.61 seconds and that was a good score in our group.  I’m proud of myself for rising to the challenge in less than twenty seconds.

Raymi on the speed climb wall in under 18 seconds

I probably could have done it faster, but I kind of blew myself out climbing the other walls before I even knew there was a Speed Climb challenge.

Raymi Lauren - Raymi the Minx - climbing gym, speed climb, Markham, 2018

Next we tried a bouldering challenge which is the proper name for a length-wise climb without safety ropes across a traverse of boulders.  We started on the longest one in the gym, which is also the longest indoor bouldering traverse in Ontario, and maybe all of Canada..  Who knows?  The floor is only a few feet away and covered in mats. I made it all the way across in forty seconds.

The static line is a half-step tight rope that’s harder than it looks- i need one of these in my apartment.

raymi and Casie walk the line

At the slide climb wall the climbers can go over the top and then slide down. I helped Casie…

Casie Stewart at Hub Climbing - Slide Wall climb over the top with Raymi the Minx

Not really.

Raymi with Casie on the wallLast we tempted the Dragon.

Raymi climbing the DragonThe Dragon is a 23 ft foot plywood sculpture painted two-tone green and covered in small stepping-stone rocks, which everyone here calls boulders. Unfortunately most of the climb is at an acute angle.  And therefore impossible.

raymi climbs upside downThe Dragon is two challenges in one – once you fall from the neck of the beast you find yourself in the pit which is hard to escape from…

Raymi face plants exiting The Dragon gold foam pit at Hub ClimbingI just gave up.Raymi in the gold pit at The dragon

I’m still there now.

group of bloggers go bouldering

Come visit me and we’ll go bouldering.

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