so, not going as arwen for halloween, gwen it is. get ready to see this wig a ton. sass will be my harajuku accessory.
vice did this photo shoot many years ago and everyone had these platinum bobbed wigs and they rented a limo and got fucking tanked, all these hot asian chicks and dirtbags partying away, it was for an article on this hangover pill – anyway, i have coveted a blond wig ever since that shoot. we decided to stray from the arwen/aragorn couple costume cos it was just too expensive for fil, my costume would have been fine, i only needed the head crown see:
GUESS WHO IS GOING TO A COTTAGE THIS WEEKEND!?!?!?!?!??!
all my fashion show pics are pretty half-assed, was going between video and photos and then this gaggle of twats encircled me at the end totally rude as hell and i was like fuck it i’ll just turn my back and enjoy my brew and view out the window.
ahh drink tickets, we didn’t bother to use up our second round, too many purses and jackets and hot air in the room, L-ame. i’m pretty egotistical right, to a point, i know when to tone’r down, which is why i so totally enjoy the company of those who don’t and by company i mean, across the room from me while i stand in the shadows staring and judging, you. oh shut up you so do it too. my favourites are the beyond ME ME ME ME ones.
i think jen looks like she stepped out of an archie comic, hole-era.
my hair was off last nite, i was trying this little clip thing, so annoying, how can the tiniest hair ornament produce such a strong head ache?
BLAH BLAH BLAH OH BLAH? YOU KNOW BLAH TOO? ME BLAH!! GET OUT OF BLAH!
so the clothing line is called FOX and this whole she-bang was for the canadian launch of the whatever, originally from australia? kind of urban outfitters meets h&m meets every other thing that’s being mass produced for losers like me. i got a 25 dollar certificate i hope it’s not all pricey crap.
the models were v playful, B+. they even had a chick who wasn’t thin as a rake.
this guy was my favourite, he had the best boots and just oozed flamboyancy, and yes that’s a word.
killed it.
then we went to mini market where i ate way too much and i wasn’t even hungry and we had dirty martinis and gossiped our brains out, we talked about you, you, not you, you, you, and you.
sass met up with us to drink non-alcoholic drinks, good for her.
then to ted’s where the douche behind the bar thought he would fill up the room with his loud crappy music, dear bartenders, filling up bars by turning up the volume achieves the opposite of what you are trying to achieve. the people who are there, leave, and then you are left alone with bon jovi and some flickering candles. video of our annoyance to come.
love this mural.
my new t-shirt already has a tiny hole in the armpit. can i brag and say it’s a size 2?
i am sick of my bangs, i should not have cut them that last time, i need them to be long enough to part for my arwen costume.
sorry jen i look like garbage in the other ones but i’ll post them anyway for you, now we’re even.
it rained yesterday so give me and my hair a break.
oh look, a vaudevillian swede, no biggie.
raymi vs. the swag gino shirt, inside out it goes.
only in looking at this photo did i realise those are skulls. not bad. it’s a size small, everyone got smalls, a little presumptuous. sass got a potato sack sized shitty shirt. aw. we also got this crazy box of lotions potions soaps etc i’m going to re-gift to my mom for her bday which is just around the corner. wicked.
we shared some interesting tales about doing it on yer rag. my favourite quip was about downplaying yer flow at the tail end of yer cycle so dude goes for it and then at the end of your business you discover that uh um, whoops, guess it wasn’t so near to finished as i’d thunk.
so i returned the stevie nicks shirt for a beige cardi and i just went for high tea at the ROM’s C5 restaurant with my aunt and it was lovely.
jen and i went to a fashion show at the spoke club last nite, it wasn’t as glam as sass’ but we got better gift bags so it all worked out. kind of a douchey scene, well, it was a king west crowd, expected. my babysitter from when i was 4 was there serving hors d’oeuvres and spotted me. no time for pics i have to get ready to get out of here for a few. here’s a video i made before i went out last nite testing the harajuku lovers fragrances.
this is where i spent a good portion of steph’s bday. the sealpoint siamese looks like gary busey or nick nolte, or a hybrid thereof, rather. we also had a sealpoint siamese named sheeba, and a chocolate point named mocha, i know you know this already blah blah bluh blah, it just put me in sentimental shut myself in tiny room mode because hello the two exact cats i had as a kid are at this party and i can force them to love me. i like how madeline was like gah these cats (her bf’s) run her life, annoy her, then proceeded to tell me fifty stories about them and was like ok just one more and one more story after that. you so love those cats mad! please buy them cell phones so i can call them.
so distinct and freaky, i love them.
siamese cats have notorious bad breath for some reason.
the hider, everyone kept thinking he took off. mads says he is kind of retarded. ok this is sebastian or elliot, can’t remember.
my grandpa, father’s father, a great man, greatly missed.
last nite’s feast, i love when we do thai soup and turn it into rice veggie chicken concoction, so tasty. my portion vs. fil’s. i also almost upchucked whilst watching the thing on tlc, woman without a body on her skateboard and trying to shovel this down, i had to leave the room. such a wimp. we watched indiana jones and the crystal whatever after that, i truly liked it. then we d/l the south park episode ripping on it (thanks a lot rene it put me to sleep) which wasn’t funny.
overheard at the voting station last nite, “it took me forever to find this place.” “oh not me as i’ve been here before.” (gloating) “oh, are you a quaker?” ??? shut up wasps.
fits.
v cute, kind of too much shit on my wrist though, i’m pretty minimalist when it comes to my hands, so i may have a little raymi contest give-away.
i just could not give these away yesterday, i wimped out the two, no three places i visited to do so, not my fault entirely, no chicks to be found at queen vid, in the line at loblaws the woman ahead completely blew everyone’s mood with her price checking bullshit, and then at my tanning salon the chick wasn’t sitting in the chair when i impulsively stuck my head in. she always compliments my smell. oh and i was rockin’ some harsh bad breath too, no game.
cid being a tool the other nite during family tv time.
after the dueling thanksgiving dinners it completely makes sense to go home to eat more. more on those wafer-thin crackers later.
feeling my cheese board.
i experimented with my gordon ramsay cups (i’m just going to call them cups from now on if that’s fine by you) and next time i will do it right, basically avoid tomatoes if you want it to cook faster.
unexpected quiche delight!
next time i’ll use kraft singles. we put these egg fluffs on toasted english muffins and some of our cheese boutique genoa, v tasty combo.
ok dude with big truck and big silver dangling balls, i’m pretty sure that means you are five feet tall and have a teeny peener.
returning this, it’s just not me, well it could be but fil already gave it a pile of disses and a thumb’s down.
finally these crackers, bought them in rosemary (best paired with meats) and cracked pepper (cheese). such a good buy if you are carbs-paro.
every time we go to the cheese counter i say i’d like a nice old cheddar, i can’t stop myself, fil snickers at me.
the bug splatters are a nice touch.
i swear i’m like a dog that needs to be taken out for car rides – do not take advantage of that joke set-up you louse.
i am really into this mural and we’ve had burgs here a couple years ago coming back from the cottage all crabby and hung and moody cos the weekend was over. so greasy so good, that was back during fat raymi days. can i have a cone with seven scoops please like in the painting outside?
thumb’s up you guys!
do you know the motorcycle wave? oh man too funny. there is also a subaru wrx sti wave, FUNNIER, especially when dudes wave to fil and he misses it but i catch it. you know the dude is cringing his balls off and fil feels really mean, wants to turn around and chase the guy just to wave back. fil has not taken me out on his bike all season, i guess no need to dazzle when you’ve already got your cow.
speaking of cows, moo.
stopping in small towns to wizz is always a trip, rubber neckin’ from the dudes, severe dirt looks from the chicks, it was worth the drive to acton yes it was just for that and then they get a load of fil’s car and it completes the spectacle full circle like obvs we just landed from mars. ps. we did not go to acton pps. fil says these are mom jeans. why can’t that guy just shut the hell up about my clothes? can you chicks explain him a lesson, thanks.
this is what we made last nite.
fil really wanted these, they didn’t have his size. i have fugly old man boots, so fil has to have a pair too.
pitt, these only come in kid sizes.
dad you would wear these right? (real dad not pitt dad).
now, this store was intense.
they were pret-tee serious.
um, i was wondering if you guys sold any boots?
fil’s mukluks, he’s been pretty sour since i got my fryes. fil are you sure we’re not related?
i felt pretty at home in there.
ok, that concludes another day/weekend in the life of raymi. buh-bye.
so i chose baby, thanks for all of your guesses, all ZERO of them. it’s ok you will regret it. lets go back in time to the beginning of the box so chio lor, ne!
firstly, dude went to the wrong building, he calls me says the buzzer doesn’t work, i go down there looking like garbage (it’s shower day, i haven’t showered yet and why do packages always arrive on shower day?!) and he’s not there, i go upstairs and realise he is at the wrong building but i can’t call him back to tell him this newsflash cos i answered the phone too quickly before it could register his number, so i wait and do the pee pee excitement dance til he calls back. he realises he is at the wrong building too, i go back down to wait some more in my inside clothes (practically naked) and there’s like a town hall gathering in the foyer and i see one woman give me stink eye in the door reflection when we pass each other, she’s in winter clothes and i look like college lazy slut student anyway you don’t care about this long boring story, i just wanted to say that when the dude finally arrived he wanted to tell me in minute detail his every step, thought, and action before getting to my building like who are you, me? shut up dude i want to open my package yes i am raymi scribble scribble bye!
mother load.
of course cid my little helper is on the scene. he had just enjoyed himself a time-out and then is rewarded with an activity, so spoiled.
charm bracelet for skinny-minny arms, it fits but cid doesn’t have opposable thumbs to help me clasp it so i will have to wait for fil.
i am never going to grow up.
all five scents, i will make a scent test video another day. update: i just sprayed them all and they are all so good, not lying, i was not paid for this post so there you go.
score, new makeup bag. thanks gwen i know you personally packed all this specially for me.
thanks for the face bag.
right at home. i fought for this package, i told them this kitschy shit was intended for me and my knick-knack shelf and you will be sorry if you don’t select me.
she smells so good, from one tiny spurt it’s still goin’ strong. best italian shower perfume to date!
and i learned something new today, it is difficult to take a picture of yourself with a bag on your head.
cid wants a child i know it, omg remind me to tell you about the dream i had last nite fil.
why do cats nestle on top of shit, like a glass bottle? wtf.
jealous cid, that’s what YOU look like right now.
ok enough sorry!
just in time, i’m running out of my other perfumes.
also a reason to clean the bathroom, oh joyous rapture.
i chose baby cos of her fro.
who wants saaaaaaaaamples?
hope you enjoyed this delivery adventure with me!
when you purchase any fragrance from the harajuku lovers collection you receive 1500 shoppers points, offer is valid until halloween, oh and you need one of my postcards i think.
ugh GOD so many pictures, so behind. here’s some to start, nothing’s in order, don’t care don’t care.
i really really loved savage grace, it’s sketchy, but beautiful.
yesterday was oh so lovely, too bad the heat gives me hot flashes and anxiety up the wall, on our first jaunt out i wore teeny shorts and a flimsy little shirt and it was windy as fuck making our way to bloor, so nakes.
RIP handlebar streamers.
nana wanted me to make her look sexy. so fierce nana!
papa’s birthday, and evidently nobody knows how old he actually is.
i know when i talk about the weather i sound really old and dumb and crazy but STILL the wind is whipping the hell out of my already mangled plants, the fern is good (steph i think you should take it this week) but the others i dunno what to do with them, they’re still alive but kinda fugged up, i think i’m going to let the frost and snow take them to plant heaven and maybe just maybe come spring they’ll have magically survived til then? ps. i am still feeding the squirrel, not as much, but so what fascist fucks in this building, he’s foraging for winter, DEAL.
