my grandpa, father’s father, a great man, greatly missed.
last nite’s feast, i love when we do thai soup and turn it into rice veggie chicken concoction, so tasty. my portion vs. fil’s. i also almost upchucked whilst watching the thing on tlc, woman without a body on her skateboard and trying to shovel this down, i had to leave the room. such a wimp. we watched indiana jones and the crystal whatever after that, i truly liked it. then we d/l the south park episode ripping on it (thanks a lot rene it put me to sleep) which wasn’t funny.
overheard at the voting station last nite, “it took me forever to find this place.” “oh not me as i’ve been here before.” (gloating) “oh, are you a quaker?” ??? shut up wasps.
fits.
v cute, kind of too much shit on my wrist though, i’m pretty minimalist when it comes to my hands, so i may have a little raymi contest give-away.
i just could not give these away yesterday, i wimped out the two, no three places i visited to do so, not my fault entirely, no chicks to be found at queen vid, in the line at loblaws the woman ahead completely blew everyone’s mood with her price checking bullshit, and then at my tanning salon the chick wasn’t sitting in the chair when i impulsively stuck my head in. she always compliments my smell. oh and i was rockin’ some harsh bad breath too, no game.
cid being a tool the other nite during family tv time.
after the dueling thanksgiving dinners it completely makes sense to go home to eat more. more on those wafer-thin crackers later.
feeling my cheese board.
i experimented with my gordon ramsay cups (i’m just going to call them cups from now on if that’s fine by you) and next time i will do it right, basically avoid tomatoes if you want it to cook faster.
unexpected quiche delight!
next time i’ll use kraft singles. we put these egg fluffs on toasted english muffins and some of our cheese boutique genoa, v tasty combo.
ok dude with big truck and big silver dangling balls, i’m pretty sure that means you are five feet tall and have a teeny peener.
returning this, it’s just not me, well it could be but fil already gave it a pile of disses and a thumb’s down.
finally these crackers, bought them in rosemary (best paired with meats) and cracked pepper (cheese). such a good buy if you are carbs-paro.
every time we go to the cheese counter i say i’d like a nice old cheddar, i can’t stop myself, fil snickers at me.
the bug splatters are a nice touch.
i swear i’m like a dog that needs to be taken out for car rides – do not take advantage of that joke set-up you louse.
i am really into this mural and we’ve had burgs here a couple years ago coming back from the cottage all crabby and hung and moody cos the weekend was over. so greasy so good, that was back during fat raymi days. can i have a cone with seven scoops please like in the painting outside?
thumb’s up you guys!
do you know the motorcycle wave? oh man too funny. there is also a subaru wrx sti wave, FUNNIER, especially when dudes wave to fil and he misses it but i catch it. you know the dude is cringing his balls off and fil feels really mean, wants to turn around and chase the guy just to wave back. fil has not taken me out on his bike all season, i guess no need to dazzle when you’ve already got your cow.
speaking of cows, moo.
stopping in small towns to wizz is always a trip, rubber neckin’ from the dudes, severe dirt looks from the chicks, it was worth the drive to acton yes it was just for that and then they get a load of fil’s car and it completes the spectacle full circle like obvs we just landed from mars. ps. we did not go to acton pps. fil says these are mom jeans. why can’t that guy just shut the hell up about my clothes? can you chicks explain him a lesson, thanks.
this is what we made last nite.
fil really wanted these, they didn’t have his size. i have fugly old man boots, so fil has to have a pair too.
pitt, these only come in kid sizes.
dad you would wear these right? (real dad not pitt dad).
now, this store was intense.
they were pret-tee serious.
um, i was wondering if you guys sold any boots?
fil’s mukluks, he’s been pretty sour since i got my fryes. fil are you sure we’re not related?
i felt pretty at home in there.
ok, that concludes another day/weekend in the life of raymi. buh-bye.
so i chose baby, thanks for all of your guesses, all ZERO of them. it’s ok you will regret it. lets go back in time to the beginning of the box so chio lor, ne!
firstly, dude went to the wrong building, he calls me says the buzzer doesn’t work, i go down there looking like garbage (it’s shower day, i haven’t showered yet and why do packages always arrive on shower day?!) and he’s not there, i go upstairs and realise he is at the wrong building but i can’t call him back to tell him this newsflash cos i answered the phone too quickly before it could register his number, so i wait and do the pee pee excitement dance til he calls back. he realises he is at the wrong building too, i go back down to wait some more in my inside clothes (practically naked) and there’s like a town hall gathering in the foyer and i see one woman give me stink eye in the door reflection when we pass each other, she’s in winter clothes and i look like college lazy slut student anyway you don’t care about this long boring story, i just wanted to say that when the dude finally arrived he wanted to tell me in minute detail his every step, thought, and action before getting to my building like who are you, me? shut up dude i want to open my package yes i am raymi scribble scribble bye!
mother load.
of course cid my little helper is on the scene. he had just enjoyed himself a time-out and then is rewarded with an activity, so spoiled.
charm bracelet for skinny-minny arms, it fits but cid doesn’t have opposable thumbs to help me clasp it so i will have to wait for fil.
i am never going to grow up.
all five scents, i will make a scent test video another day. update: i just sprayed them all and they are all so good, not lying, i was not paid for this post so there you go.
score, new makeup bag. thanks gwen i know you personally packed all this specially for me.
thanks for the face bag.
right at home. i fought for this package, i told them this kitschy shit was intended for me and my knick-knack shelf and you will be sorry if you don’t select me.
she smells so good, from one tiny spurt it’s still goin’ strong. best italian shower perfume to date!
and i learned something new today, it is difficult to take a picture of yourself with a bag on your head.
cid wants a child i know it, omg remind me to tell you about the dream i had last nite fil.
why do cats nestle on top of shit, like a glass bottle? wtf.
jealous cid, that’s what YOU look like right now.
ok enough sorry!
just in time, i’m running out of my other perfumes.
also a reason to clean the bathroom, oh joyous rapture.
i chose baby cos of her fro.
who wants saaaaaaaaamples?
hope you enjoyed this delivery adventure with me!
when you purchase any fragrance from the harajuku lovers collection you receive 1500 shoppers points, offer is valid until halloween, oh and you need one of my postcards i think.
ugh GOD so many pictures, so behind. here’s some to start, nothing’s in order, don’t care don’t care.
i really really loved savage grace, it’s sketchy, but beautiful.
yesterday was oh so lovely, too bad the heat gives me hot flashes and anxiety up the wall, on our first jaunt out i wore teeny shorts and a flimsy little shirt and it was windy as fuck making our way to bloor, so nakes.
RIP handlebar streamers.
nana wanted me to make her look sexy. so fierce nana!
papa’s birthday, and evidently nobody knows how old he actually is.
i know when i talk about the weather i sound really old and dumb and crazy but STILL the wind is whipping the hell out of my already mangled plants, the fern is good (steph i think you should take it this week) but the others i dunno what to do with them, they’re still alive but kinda fugged up, i think i’m going to let the frost and snow take them to plant heaven and maybe just maybe come spring they’ll have magically survived til then? ps. i am still feeding the squirrel, not as much, but so what fascist fucks in this building, he’s foraging for winter, DEAL.
if you care about the arts, or say…. THE ENVIRONMENT (with all due respect mr. harper, a healthy economy isn’t going to do me much good in a world without fresh water, or enough food to feed my grandkids – kyoto wasn’t just for the hell of it) please go here and input your postal code to see how best to use your vote today.
ps. i have post long weekend blues and it looks like a kansas twister is about to roll on through, it’s so dark!
these are all fil‘s pix obvs, i’m too lazybones to do mine up sorry.
i cannot stop thinking about these two siamese cats, elliot and sebastian. sigh. i even cried alone in the room with them, i miss my old siamese cat mocha so much. i want my own cat to bond with i MISS THAT thanks a lot cid!
we’re sitting on the balcony on our laptops and reading our new books and listening to our new tunes in the nice sun, i’m having a bavaria tallboy with a straw. rented savage grace, fil doesn’t want to watch it, it’s a week rental, we’ll see. for dinner we’re doing it up gordon ramsay eggs style mmm mmmmm. got t-giving over with yesterday. we went for a walkies and a bikeride. i bought the best of the beach boys so basically everybody’s goin’ surfin, surfin’ usa right now bye.
holy shit i was just about to pack her in but fil just showed me how to turn my monitor brightness up duuuuuuuuhhoooooiiii.
ps. if you want to date spencer rice/spenny send me your picture and the only stipulation is you have to be as cool as me, no pressure.
so i actually paced myself this year and didn’t inhale all the skin in the world so no nausea attack when i got home, yay, and i even ate two dinners!
pffftsecret time, bear with me friends, these guys span back to august, and as usual i can hardly remember why i saved half of them. i’m usually hung when i read postsecret and come up with these elaborate booze residual bipolarisms in my head that i think SAVE FOR LATER then weeks later i’m like what’s the deal with this postcard with a balloon on it and the girl swimming wtf how can i squeeze some funny out of that again? or worse, i saved something to be all take a stand about it and i just don’t have the energy to tell it like it is when i don’t even know what the initial thing that peeved me off was. oooooh well lets give her a try anyway… ps. why am i doing this lead-in?
COP-OUT! oh ok so you’re fat and it’s your friend’s faults and nothing to do with your lack of willpower? your GPA would be higher too and that’s cos your friends include you in social gatherings and not at all cos you are actually a fucking idiot who can’t seem to manage buds and good grades, can you chew gum and walk at the same time? god, if you were my friend and i found out you actually thought this i would drop you so fast. yeah, and i’m an alcoholic because of the cat but it’s ok because w/o him i’d be miserable? see how much sense that makes? as per your savings you could at least get dudes to buy your drinks for you but oh wait, your friends made you fat, so i guess that won’t be happening. next.
every time?! WHY!? what is wrong with you fucking sociopathic losers? get something else in your life to fulfill you other than the misery of others, if you only feel satiated when people are down at your pathetic shitty level that is beyond sad. hi i can’t be bothered to better myself or my life and i hate it when others are happy so i’m going to fuck with undeserved strangers WITH MY MENTAL POWERS.
just in case you want me to puke? lady, let me tell you, the year of the thong is O-V-E-R. unless you are planning to get a time machine to be in the movie roadhouse, get some cute low-waisted bikini briefs or boy shorts instead, i have a feeling your ass is dimply anyway, cover that shit UP.
ok that is fucking cute, good on you.
PAHAHAAHA best postcard ever only because of the ape’s head between the hamburger buns. look how sad he is. so precious.
WIRED i love that magazine!
yeah, good luck with that.
so i gather you’re voting barack then.
haha that sounds terrifying and funny but please don’t say shroomed again, you remind me of this skid i used to work with at the hardware store who invited me to shroom with her and her friends DURING WINTER AT NITE IN A PARK and she was younger than me and thought she was all street. sorry i’d much prefer getting cozily drunk inside a warm bar with my fake id instead. she’s the type of genius who thinks 9/11 was an inside job cos her stoner friends say it. in summation, I GOT HIGH ON MUSHROOMS AT DISNEYLAND AND GOOFY PROBABLY KNEW.
agreed, it’s always the parents’ fault. hi mom, dad.
i bet this scenario will inevitably happen but you’ll be too busy in your head fantasy to believe that it is actually taking place before your eyes, the kid will drown, and you will be the hometown failure. get a new daydream.
you are a WINNER.
thank you for the visual. you’re one of those cathy comic chicks, i can tell. gross.
aww wittle waby is all gwown up nwow. guess what, welcome to the real world, where the only one you can depend on is yourself and the plethora of lonely awkward moments is never-ending. enjoy!
CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE AWARD why can’t the world only be made up of people like you? what was that other card i went all insane over last time? can’t remember, but basically shit is so fucked today all i care about is inanimate objects and trivial bits of information like this.
tell me now, how can people who can’t spell achieve straight A’s? here is a fun little lesson to help you remember the proper usage of loose vs. lose:
YOU GOT STRAIGHT A’S BECAUSE YOUR TEACHER HAS LOOSE JUDGEMENT AND THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT IS IF YOU STOP EATING AT THE CAF.
seriously, are you new? THEY GET PUT INTO THE STUPID POSTSECRET BOOK THAT’S BEEN PUBLISHED LIKE WHAT FOUR TIMES NOW SO WIMPS CAN CRY AND BEAT OFF WHILE FRANK LAUGHS ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK. you’re that same guy who says he tries not to hate frank for not posting his secret you sneaky little turd. how about you try to play the who-cares-what-happens-to-un-posted-secrets game alone in your room for eternity. honestly, i can barely care about the secrets that are posted how the hell would i give one per cent of a fuck about all the secrets out there i don’t even know about yet? MUST KNOW ENTIRE POPULATION’S SECRETS MUST PAY IT FORWARD MUST LIGHT A CANDLE MUST MUST MUST oh fuck off.
ok i just hit the postsecret wall because i think this is hysterical. please mail that tape to your sister or to the writer’s of everybody loves raymond, oh wait, they did that one already.
they don’t think you’re a bad person, they just think you’re inferior is all.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWW W W W W W WWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ten bucks you have a subscription to BUST (love that mag) but still, enough please. thanks a fucking lot i just google image searched ‘menstrual blood’ i will lovingly think of you while eating cranberry sauce later today. just kidding, cranberry sauce is sick, like you and your menstrual blood.
YES YOU ARE.
yeah so and do you want a prize for NOT being over your ex?
ok i did this all the time too and so far i do not have a castle or billions of dollars, so i’m pretty sure that the other things i wished for like being skinny and hot and macking fil i did those on my own. if wishes were horses, beggars would ride, got it? good.
way to prepare them for the big game of life and great job on your children’s reading comprehension level being below that of a dog’s, sprinkle some fear of public places, other children, and a general penchant for hiding in the basement on top aaaand we’re good here.
how original, i bet you are the only stripper in the world who ever thinks that!
zzzzzzzzzzzz cuckoo bananas much? i think you have an unhealthy obsession with your ob-gyn, do you go like every month? lady, what is wrong with your mangled vagina? c-section aside, i think you need to be visiting the office of a head doctor instead, do it before you smother your baby, brooke shields.
oh BA-LONEY, that’s a lot of bullshit, you just don’t like white peen, don’t bring babies into this you racialist.
yeah me too but hey guess what, did you hear about this thing called the internet and porn yet?
yeah i really wish someone in my immediate family could get a terminal illness so my room can look like pottery barn but then i remember i am canadian and all that cancer-wishing would just equal hospital visits, holding hands, crying and dying and NO HOUSE OR DISNEYLAND WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS REAL LIFE OR SOMETHING YOU MEAN I’M NOT ON THE SET OF A REALITY TV SHOW NO BROTHER NOOOO LIVE LIVE LIVE COME BACK I LOVE YOU!
i too hope for your family that something bad happens to YOU so your mom will get a state of the art kitchen and your sister gets a pony.
fall country drive pics follow this wicked video starring me learning spanish.
fil’s first time visiting this outlet mall.
we found him these wicked boots, this store is mental MENTAL, i’ll post more pics later of how many boots are in this place. he almost didn’t get them, wanted to think about it i said no way dude you will think about those boots for a week and kick yerself GET THEM NOW.
now i must try on 70 outfits for steph‘s birthday jam party tonite whee!
