but first check out natalie’s place!
thanks matt two months late much…
what am i dancing to here fucking bandstand?
i flipped it so you could see the important face first.
election nite.
nuit blanche was ten years ago dude.
crabbily reading a mag at steph’s bday party, i felt fat that nite.
fil chugged my sangria this morning cos he “thought” it was juice. yeah right fil.
and for crying out loud can YOU losers update your blogs holy frig the internet is boring this time of year and what day is it saturday? jesus. JUST TELL ME A FUCKING STORY IN MY COMMENTS THAT’S ALL I WANT NOT A LOT TO ASK JUST GO, LEAVE, I HATE YOU. is it too early to start drinking on an empty stomach i am so stir crazy i’m in a dimension of whole ‘nother.
dsrg;iuhoiehphinfepnrendf;Fbndfbs:Few;m and so on.
i watched sex and the city finally, purely for scientific reasons of course, and i thought, well, ugh, first of all it was extremely straight-forward to someone who has never ever watched any of the episodes before (but i am NOT entirely unaware of the plot or characters of this show from years of listening to you birds beat off about it all)(when i lived in brooklyn one day on my way to buy booze for the vice parties i tended i passed by a taping of SATC, i saw kim cattrall, talking on her cell phone, wow explosion!) anyway, hate to break it to you but uh, these characters aren’t funny and i think you need to put down the kool-aid. you guys are all drunks for this shit and i am the voice of sober reason (ha for once) and you are lapping it all up. also, realistically speaking? a writer in new york with that wardrobe? come on. i know people harp on that one a lot too but still it doesn’t make it any less annoying when it’s played out before you fifty fucking million costume changes in a row. when the cast was on oprah SJP went on about this one dress that was used in a scene then was whisked off to the jungles of africa for a photo-shoot but they had to re-shoot the scene so they sent an intern TO THE JUNGLES OF AFRICA to get it, she waited for the shoot to be over, got the dress had a cocktail then caught a flight back in time for the SATC scene.
um.
pretty much exact words.
someone’s caught up in their character a little too much and “cocktail” IN THE JUNGLE? really? was it necessary to repeat that one? how embarrassingly pretentious. i could see on oprah’s face she was like, uh really you went there?
when you’re out of your mind rich you’re not supposed to fawn over unrelatable stories and laugh at the punchline (was there even one?) before it comes out of your stupid mouth.
ok back to the movie, how simple and one-dimensional are these characters do you even see it, I FEEL LIKE I’M ON CRAZY PILLS (am) like dude YOU CAN’T GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR WHEN YOU SEE HER IN THAT DRESS WHAT WHY WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT the rest of the movie’s drama revolves around that simple-minded event? how dumb do you expect the viewer to be?
oh and the nice one who shits herself in mexico that wouldn’t have happened so quickly, it would have taken at least 24 hours for the water to take effect on your bowels and THEN you’d have the shits for 3 weeks not just one teeny cute pants-filling moment.
and the slutty cougar one wasn’t even that slutty and why was she always in new york at the drop of a hat i call bullshit AND WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS EATING LUNCH? why can’t they be eating hangover greasy spoon at lunchtime instead like normal fucking people?
i cannot stand that redhead at all AT ALL, worst haircut ever, unacceptable and the secret she kept are you kidding me, i think i’d be angrier for more than three days over that one (good scene with the balloons though) ugh ok look at me this post is exactly like everyone else’s when the movie hit theatres. despite all the blatant horseshit i did enjoy the 2 hour and 25 minute mental holiday, afterward sass and i watched breakfast at tiffany’s (totally hysterical) so it was a good eve.
oh yeah another thing, no special features on the regular SATC dvd so you suckers would all go out and buy that stupid wedding collection box set whatever. total suckers.
i can’t put up the new shower curtain cos the rings are so old rusted and cheap i just tried to take one off and my incredible hulk-like strength shattered it into a million pieces. oh and the new bathroom rug i bought us we cannot use cos of the rubber lining, not allowed to put it in the washers in this building. OH LOOK ANOTHER RULE.
merkley???: you are 80 years old
me: hahaha
merkley???: how is your blood pressure?
me: its just story telling relax
merkley???: no — it’s an emergency
me: what my crotchety blog post?
merkley???: eMERKgency
me: ha
merkley???: yes i read it
got home from LA last night
right before i went to sleep i did all my reading of the internet in my newsreader
me: what did u do there
merkley???: your blog comes up on the bottom because the rss feed is UNTITLED
went to the premiere of yes man
me: how did u go to that
merkley???: jim careys new movie
me: so u saw zooey deschanel
merkley???: my friends von iva are in the movie
yes
me: lucky
merkley???: her fictitious band in the movie are my friends
now they are all pals
i was beckys date
she plays keyboards
anyway
me: i LOVE zooey
sigh
sigh
i hate your luck
merkley???: so i read your blog last which made me have a dream about you
it aint LUCK ASSHOLE
me: i KNOW
did you come on here to brag
merkley???: anyway in my dream you were trying to make out with me
me: what is your opinion on my tattoo cos i know you have one
merkley???: IM TRYING TO TELL A STORY AND YOU KEEP INTERRUPTING
me: oh haa
I AM IN A TOWEL RIGHT NOW AND IT IS DARK AND I AM HUNCHED OVER
yeah right in your dream you were trying to make out with me nice try
merkley???: i’d admit it if it was true
you were trying to kiss me and it was like you never kissed anyone in your whole life
hahah
but the image was from one of your photos
i think it sparked the dream
because the location was about the same and the outfit too
cept you had a winter hat on
me: which outfit
when something comes up in a reader it comes up the way the post is when u hit publish right, and not when i go back to edit it?
so people miss stuff?
merkley???: i’m trying to find the picture
it updates
that picture
i think it was the last thing i saw before i went to sleep
me: haha
merkley???: but dude, you need to learn how to kiss a man
seriously
hahah
me: u need to learn how to have better dreams about me
merkley???: whoa dude, your blog looks all different
doesnt even look like your blog
i only read rss so i haven’t seen the actual thing for a long time
me: refresh
the bg changes everytime u refresh
theres like 50 of them
merkley???: cool
my blog background changes too so don’t think you were first
i like tattoos — back to that question
i never understood the fascination with blythe but it makes a good tattoo
who made your backgrounds? they don’t look made by you at all
are you ignoring me because i dreamed that you were an awkward kisser?
me: no i’m getting dressed
nerds made them they take images from my buzznet and make them into collages
some are way geeky
merkley???: i think you should do them
they dont look youish
me: i dont have photoshop but i will
merkley???: some of the fonts are bad too — i know you didnt choose them
me: i chose the good ones
gotta get dressed more bye merkley leave me comments please i miss you
Untitled from raymi lauren on Vimeo.
it was actually way worse throughout the day, this was after some whiskey sorted it out.
HI!
i blew my voice out singing karaoke on playstation christmas eve and now i talk like the chick from superbad and i am in tons of pain awesome. what?! no one could beat me so i kept going and going and going then woke up talking like a dude.
did y’all have god christmaseseseses? did you get good shit? crap? monies? returnies?
i got us a new shower curtain and framed fil’s degree.
i am painfully coughing up interesting looking things (not even a smoker!)(but i’ve noticed how not grey and dirty they are) and the stuff coming out of my nose is just, phenomenal.
guys i fucking suck.
i got the robe i wanted and lots of loot, thanks everyone! more later i feel like shit.
oh and you’ll be happy to know i gained back all the weight i lost from being sick fucking fuck.
oh yeah i wrote something once…
Raymi!
This morning I unwrapped my copy of Marketable Depression and went on to read it in about an hour, but I felt it necessary to say that the “i like the crazy girl next door” story was quite possibly one of the greatest things I have read in a very very long time.
So much so that I called my boyfriend and read it out-loud to him.
He agrees.
Merry Christmas!!!
while i wait for my nails to dry and because it’s such a festive story. i only assume it was ketamine, i know that it was something. maybe you can figure it out. maybe it was ecstasy?
the following are pictures of said guy:
when i first noticed him in the middle of our little enclave of people he was extremely into staring at the very essence of his soul in the mirror, in slow motion, INTENSELY, like hi that’s you, that’s me, i am you and you are me you know when you are blasted on whatever and you accidentally look in the mirror then 3 hours later you realize I HAVE BEEN STARING AT MYSELF AND CONTEMPLATING THE UNIVERSE FOR THE PAST THREE HOURS I THINK I FIGURED OUT THE MEANING OF LIFE .
he was COMPLETELY incomprehensible, he told me his name but i forget it now, he was really into SKIN and his bare arms and touching them, stroking them, SHOWCASING THEM ahahahha oh man no i will not touch your arm sorry. he asked us a million times to touch him. yeah i think this is seeming more like E the more i draw back on it and i am fully getting sketched out too, Olé!
yes you have an arm, yes it is veeeeeeeeery long right now and LOOK yes, there it is, right there, hi arm!
HOLY SHIT WHAT A DISCOVERY I DISCOVERED AGAIN: MY ARM
dj behind him was like just get away from this guy, disengage, but then i got really concerned, i asked him if he was alone and he goes I AM ALWAYS ALONE in the slurriest voice ever. oh great you emo poet thanks. then this other dude starts talking to him and looking at me all menacingly and i’m getting nervous cos i keep whispering in his ear i think your friend is on something don’t be offended that i know this (HAHAHAHAHHA)(I was really worried i was being offensive and somehow i was the only one in the world to notice his highness?) and you need to take care of him and i am simultaneously relieved cos now i can pawn him off on this chap sans guilt then the guy says um seriously? i am this close to shoving him (or something like that maybe more violent) i go what so he’s not your friend?? dude says no not at all i thought he was yours and that’s why i was being nice to him i said oh fuck please get him away take care of him do something guy says just ignore him.
steve is a paramedic and he said that the guy could not possibly freeze to death in the span of twelve hours based on friday nite’s temperature so don’t worry if he fell asleep in a snowbank come sun-up someone would find him, even w/o a jacket he’d be fine. thanks steve.
oh right he also kept grabbing my hair and getting his fingers tangled in it and pulling it which is when fil had finally had enough and took his hand out of my hair with his oj simpson gloved hands and steve formed a barricade around my body every time the guy tried to come back. he just couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t allowed to wrap his arms around my hair. aw.
i told you before about fil and his desire to wear his oj simpson gloves inside right? well he mentioned it friday nite too hahahaha he said it’s his thing or something, fil?
on purpose tattoo pose.
matt really hated my tolerance for that fucked up guy, he says i have a problem, based on the previous encounter with the grossman’s guy WHO NATALIE BUMPED INTO YESTERDAY!
hey steph why are you checking your phone?????
intense conversationalist much? jokes guy, jokes.
ok the rest are here if you care or forgot to check last time.
i am now in the feeling nauseous can’t have dairy or will explosively fill my pants stage of my sickness and apparently all my relatives have some form of sickness as well. we bought nice cheese from the cheese boutique, can’t have it. so mad and sad and i cant even drink to tune out the predictable ensuing family tension of fun.
i wish you guises luck as well.
oh and i forget how to curl hair properly, i don’t remember it being that difficult but anyway i want my hair to look like xiaxue‘s so i am watching this now, don’t ask me how to curl basically, watch this she also has extensions i think so if it works for those then this is a pretty good tutorial video:
