have you ever had an eleven year old make you feel like a total slob before and terribly under-dressed? well done, girl.
love these goblets could write sonnets for these wine goblets. very dr. seuss they are.
family artifact.
little hipster on our hands here.
old man boots pure danger on a longboard. better than pointy patent flats i guess.
goin’ for it.
my aunt mentioned once wanting to paint that. she considers if a piece of art, work of art? hey thanks all the same.
go dad.
then my brother and hailey spazzed out with my camera for a bit.
and drew me as girl beavis/butthead?
nothing changes.
knew right off the bat i’d beat him, why do people fall for the corner trick all the time? dad, that sucked. oh look, someone made a note of it. perfect.
photos of the feast coming shortly. it’s a holiday up in here, time to hit the pavement doing my favourite ‘burbian thing i’m too anxious to do in the city. longboard. you can throw some bets down on whether or not i actually leave the house today.
my mom gave me a bag of cast-off clothing, wait’ll you see these bret michaels rock of love jeans holy shit get ready to howl.
some things were said as is the typical case when it comes to family gatherings. somehow these people get away with it. i just say i don’t know how to react to that so i won’t say anything at all meanwhile i am choking them out in my mind.
i brought cupcakes and pumpkin pie brownies. gone in a flash.
aw.
mom’s princess feet. i guess this is where it comes from.
thanksgiving buffet, several people were not in attendance due to thanksgiving. i choked on the massivest piece of dry dark meat and mom says that’s cos “i don’t eat” urrrrg no. if you were ever in need of knowing how your bod was doin’ go visit the fam, they’ll put you straight on the spot.
wasn’t feeling the poker game.
now on to the next jam.
something im thankful for: your blog
happy thanksgiving lauren. i hope you have a nice weekend ahead of you. mine will be filled with dysfunction and wine. ahh. Also, I liked your mighty jail bush drawing
sending love, xo Lisa
i invite you to peruse this old news link i was mentioned by, late august, here’s the quote, which has both boggled and amused me since then. had’er saved for a rainy day i did.
3. A little bit of advance-notice fall thinking from local blogger Raymi the Minx, who is a little more self-absorbed than we’re supposed to be in Toronto, and a little less self-aware about the self-absorption than even an exhibitionist fashion-and-fun-times blogger should be, but you know, she’s cool.
errr, ah. what? lets break it down bit-by-bit now here. (firstly, i am honoured to be highlighted in the eye weekly school, love those indie kids, no hard feelings. ever.)
i like how there always has to be a disclaimer before i am ever introduced or mentioned. here’s some chick doin’ her thing but now i am going to slightly skew your experience of her, this is what she’s really all about.
“supposed to be in toronto” ok fine got ‘em there, and me. yes self-absorbed definitely, but i know it, thus canceling out the alleged lack of self-awareness. i’m pretty sure i know what’s going on, dumbing it down is part of my thing, admittedly i can be a little slow when the timing’s good however no scratch that, i’m fucking lost. what the hell did she call me? haha. i strongly feel that i am self-aware to a fault, like, it’s a problem.
basically i’m too self-absorbed but i don’t know it and i’m even too self-absorbed for self-absorbed people, i’m hyperly self-absorbed!
ack.
listen, friends. everything on this blog is intentional. that’s purely it. stop looking under rocks, i’m not an enigma, but how dare i assume you thought that? i just can’t win it seems. there’s always a perception about what i’m doing or why and how it should be, it has to be quanitified, analyzed. pffffft.
and ps. the post referenced in this top ten required reading list was my sentimental emotional regard towards fall, something i love to romanticize in blog-form, in my head. something that isn’t even about me but if i could project a hippie vibe onto a season, if i could be a season, forever it would be fall.
oh and you might appreciate this one more thing, the internet guy was just here and this piece of paper was layin’ out for him. how awkward was it in here just now you think?
nice touch on the diagram right?
from now on i will no longer illustrate blog title notes to self.
guy what the fuck do i wear today?!
that’s my mom and i oct 2004. i miss that house.
and here i am as celine dion, titanic.
and there’s the first time i ever laid eyes on feist. 2004.
fuck yeah that’s what i want to look like today.
and i used to be very skinny. that’s a child size halloween costume over top an entire outfit. why did i make that photo so small and delete the original. smart.
ass burn winter tanning bed, no base tan went whole-hog. wise choice.
and the lines too. ghetto tan.
me at 19? my first pair of old man shoes, i miss them greatly.
a sadness so profound it cannot be believed like it never was.
ate so much junk food last nite i almost barfed. yes, candy spins, it’s real. i knew a guy who was a vegetarian once and he decided one day “fuck it” he said i am going to devour some ham, entire packages of pre-cooked meat and that’s what he did then he barfed and barfed and barfed. that’s basically what i’m learning right now, you can’t eat healthy for a long time then pull a 180 on that diet. so i pictured my old friend bent over a rubbermaid kitchen garbage container, spewing his guts out last nite while i had the nausea. lesson learned, for now.
this picture deserves a WTF caption. like that part in saved when she looks up at the jesus statue when she finds out she’s pregnant and says, fuck, shit, fuck then decides right then she no longer believes in god. hey guess what you guys don’t have to watch movies anymore i’ll just highlight what happens in them here for you, good? great.
today is jamie‘s birthday. we go back to 2002, back to nerve.com which is how we met, unromantically. just kinda i dunno, we were dicks to each other i think, quite indifferent. snarky. i had already moved from brooklyn back to canada then to maine, can you picture me in remote maine for 3 long winter months? on dial-up? it happened. i had an amazon wishlist at the time and jamie decided to buy me a shirt off it as a joke, it was like 3 dollars and i actually rotated it quite a bit in my tickle trunk collection of raymi couture for awhile there. so we got to talking, maine didn’t pan out i moved back to canada, the suburbs, and worked a bit more at the hardware store to save money to move to the city. ok this is turning into being more about me now (shocking) but i remember being on my computer in the basement and a package arrived from jamie, some sanrio hello kitty stuff. it broke up the monotony of that three month interim and i realised he was a pal, more of one.
months later and i am living in little italy, breaking hearts, being a mess, being 19 then my heart got broken so i wrote jamie and said i’m coming to see you i have to get out of toronto before i explode. more or less. there are numerous posts about my visit in my archives as well as on jamie’s blog here and here and here and here and here.
ok so basically when you meet someone as depressed as you, your souls speak to one another without you ever having to open your mouth, which is good. they can’t bullshit you or you them, good too.
in my life i have learned that it is so much easier being depressed because happiness is just far too shocking, people would be completely content being down-trodden and sticking that out. happiness tricks you up because you feel like you don’t deserve it. it takes work. it’s a skill, actually. this is just a little side note that i have recently discovered. do what you have to do to be happy, genuinely, disgustingly happy, and do not question it or turn it over and over again until it makes sense because you will spoil it. accept it and carry on.
anyway, i seem to collect sad people, i feel like the saddest one of them all and i do a fair enough job hiding it as best i can so much so the general population doesn’t know it, ‘cept for the rest of the sad guys, they know it. you can sense it very easily. sometimes i sense it so profoundly (i swear i’m not baked right now) emanating off some stranger or other and i have to either leave the room or say something to them about it.
this is not a secret jamie is followed by a dark cloud sometimes, but now he has deb and she is such a gift i am so proud for them, of them. before her jamie was just blowing around in the bushwick night breeze with girls that sucked, none of which could patch him up. being friends with someone like this from afar is tough, i can do nothing over here, you know? other than listen to all of it, read it on his blog and not be surprised.
i dragged jamie all over the place. nice coke jaw, eh. so you think you can dance, so you think you can break dance.
then i went insane and jamie came to visit and i was a mess, a zombie, i spent many days alone, i couldn’t write, couldn’t think, talk, smile, nothing. couldn’t even lift a newspaper. i was kicked out of these meetings my mom forced me to go to, i was basically a ghost. basically worst company ever, but jamie still visited me and also he let me visit him for a week over halloween, i was sort of in the process of being dumped, long distance style. i slept on jamie’s couch. i was isolated from everything, especially myself. honestly i look back on these times and i am astounded by how i didn’t kill myself, or why.
thank you jamie for being my friend, through it all, all of it, you were there. i sincerely wish you the happiest of birthdays, you are a gem. you get it and those who are lucky enough, get to hear it from you. i think about you this time of year. one day before john lennon’s birthday, as well as sean lennon’s – yoko miscarried a few times to get that timing down. so i think of you, john lennon, and yoko ono’s miscarriages. haha xo.
anybody willing to be friends with an idiot like me is obviously a saint. oh remember i used to smoke. i have those pants still and they are baggy as shit.
blow hung, or quite possibly E hung. or both. a pal is a pal is a pal when they let you come trainwreck their schedule for a week.
i’m heartbroken in this photo, this is in williamsburg at planet thai, the first place jamie and i sat down in one of many silences together. i miss that scarf.
october is the month of remembrance as far as i’m concerned. layers of reasons to why.
glow in the dark mini golfing baked, the kid working there was playing the best tunes like he knew what we wanted to hear and have been listening to the past ten years. then the music got shitty when these other employees took over, two chicks playing wimpy chick music. then it was like can we please leave? but before that best time, took hours it seemed to get from one hole to the next having to take photos every bit of the way, scatterbrained tripped out cliche hilarious. my eyes got tired halfway through then i looked at one acid-like day-glo painted squirly whatever and saw it swirl haha, plus metal was blasting. one of those moments you pay attention to and go i will remember this one, i will hang on to it.
dear raymi
Subject: I’m a weirdo
I feel like a creeptron doing this, but regardless….your mum know’s my mum and they drink 3 beers and cause trouble…needless to say we don’t know one another, however.. thanks for your blog.. i think it’s great. so many different angles, stories, personalities, style, art..you name it. no bars held just straight up information with a twist…which is your colourful personality…
i like reading your blog because it helps me to embrace the sporatic thoughts within me and make me feel more “normal” ….
that’s my way of saying thanks for a wicked blog…. i can’t imagine reading anything else while i spend my wednesday afternoon smoking from michael buble’ (my bong) and listening to soundtracks of the rainforest.
peace!
quoting something from an email i just wrote to someone else, it somewhat overlaps, is relevant?
people think i am an awful person when they first come across me like im a big loud gong show and really im probably way more sensitive and caring than they are they just land on me and instantly feel like they are supposed to hate me and decide to do just that
makes me wonder why the fuck i do this sometimes
but then there are the nice guys too
someone could outright destroy me and id still have something nice to say about them and cherish the kind times all that gay
i am upset in this one because i missed the easiest shot ever.
i won though. had the whole place to ourselves then this mom and kid came in but before that it was pretty fantastic in there. i was wondering why that place existed and how it kept afloat weekdays? guess the weekends make up for that. i would like to suggest they have alcohol refreshments and adult nites only, but that’s just me.
