this goes way back to my mom’s purple velvet with the broken lock jewelry box. don’t think she knows it was in the xmas bins.

here’s some more movie quotes. these are from funny people. i will capitalize them to emphasize their over-all hilarity.

YOU’RE NOT FUNNY. YOU LOOK FUNNY. BUT YOU’RE NOT FUNNY MAN THAT SHIT IS SAD.

MY NIGG** HOW THE FUCK YOU IN SHOW BUSINESS WHEN YOU GOT NO BUSINESS TO SHOW?

THERE’S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT A PHYSICALLY FIT MAN. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE LANCE ARMSTRONG DO COMEDY.

speaking of funny, last nite i was on a roll. do you think i can remember one goddamn thing i said? capital newp. ok back to funny people, i really liked the thanksgiving dinner scene when adam sandler gave that speech to all the younger”s” and said that it would be the one thanksgiving they would always think back on, cherish, dinner with their friends. i wanted to transcribe it actually. i think funny people is sandler’s best work yet and i admit i was pretty damn dubious about his relation to the current judd apatow/seth rogan comedy duo, somewhat bandwagon jumping – do you remember that notorious little-known quote by liam gallagher, ever-jealous competitive rival of one damon albarn, blur’s front man and raymi’s old personal swoon-fave back in grade 7…i digress, fuck this is a point within an already loosely related-point ugh anyway liam said regarding damon’s newer project Gorillaz, “park the bandwagon out front of my house and i’ll jump right in.” something like that. jealous dick. ok so i thought sandler was keenly aligning himself with apatow, and rogan will yes man any shit these days so i was apprehensive, therefore, pleasantly surprised with the film once i took in how not shit it is. AND it’s dark, who knew? the thanksgiving speech stood out for me as adam mentions his own comedy pals he’s fallen out of contact with (one thing about this film is it is hard to separate reality from fiction, i think sandler references a lot of personal truths) some who aren’t even alive anymore (farley, sigh) also there’s a lot of archaic footage you’ve never ever seen, stuff like seeing himself on mtv for the first time. i feel like this was maybe his way of showing the world what it’s like being him. probably reading into it a little much, possibly. possibly not? who’s to know. i haven’t bothered reviewing a movie in a long time that i haven’t been paid for. i haven’t been moved by anything in awhile, lately, to be honest. i haven’t read a book in months. this post was supposed to be a bunch of scattered photos and phoning-it-in one liners.

here are my anxieties for the day/week/month/decade:

i have a formal contract to sign, i need to get it signed (but i can’t til i discuss it with a lawyer first just not to be an idiot about it or anything) so i can start book deal shopping.

i am losing my tan.

i am going to require botox for my forehead from permanent furrow lines up there.

i am both excited and stressed for xmas.

heard some good news today i can’t share, trying to figure out how to vaguely describe it. it coincides somewhat with the book i am writing, dunno how that happened unless it got around what it is i’m writing about. it has to do with tv i will say no more.

bonjour bhmagazine. thanks for putting up a photo of me pissing by that tree on your front page and then saying all this (see 2) about me:

C’est le blog de la semaine pour le coup. Elle s’appelle Raymi aka Lauren White et elle se défini elle-même comme une « tastemaker, bigtime blogger ». Elle a un compte youtube aussi ou elle se filme en train de danser.

http://raymitheminx.com/

babelfish spat out this:

It is the blog week for the blow. It is called Raymi aka definite Lauren White and it itself like a “tastemaker, bigtime blogger”. It also has an account youtube or it is filmed dancing. Then us in France, we have Thomas Clement and Canada has Laurent White. On its blog she speaks about I do not know what I did not read and she illustrates while photographing herself, one can see it there limit topless, a nipple appears some pages afterwards, she is in string of profile unfortunately here and she makes wee against a tree too. Finally short person does not wear the overall like Lauren White. Better Blog of the world of the week! I put one of these vidéos to you (there are others of them in particular or she dances on wicked messenger taken again by Black Keys but one would say a nutcase, or a chick who makes modern dance. Especially that she lives limit in a hole with rat one would say a little Patric Dils, brown the long hair which will dance in its cell, before when it was still in prison what. This video is not appropriate to the minors according to the community Youtube, it is a gift of me with you the young virgins. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsSDK8Ib-k0 http://raymitheminx.com/

must clean alicia‘s comin!

run dmc came on the xmas jam mix so we decided to do something about it. very intimate dinner party appropes. can’t hear it in this video though so use your imaginations. guess you had to be there. my brother and i are (were) the only grandchildren on my dad’s side and therefore are now the only niece/nephew (aside from hailey whom would be a great niece) so we were forced to entertain one another growing up during weekend family visits, despite not getting along at all (we’re cool now) and being hyper-spazzoids. basically, any chance to act out was acted upon. relentlessly so. we’d beat the shit out of each other in the backyard, whip balls and lawn darts, wrestle, anything to get attention, get reprimanded through clenched smiles and then start it all up again. fun times. i wouldn’t trade having a brother for anything in the world.

exactly.

thanks lee (haven’t heard from you in aaaages).

i don’t know half of you half as well as i should like and i like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

best LOTR quote. took way too many pause rewinds to get that one down. you’re not welcome.

another quote i wrote down from a movie:

“congratulations you’re the new me. no. i’m the new me.” what the hell is that from i can’t remember like two minutes ago haha.

went to the AA sale on the last possible day at the last possible hour and some chick totally crop dusted me by the shorts. sick.

hearin’ some mad gossip.

sass was stuck there all weekend long. thanks for the media hookup card (maybe you should be thanking me though)(KEEDING). line-skipped, coat/bag check skip, clothes already cheaped-out gift card for ‘em whoot. i picked up two dresses (one is more like a shirt on me as i’m an amazon) and dave got 5 t-shirts.

i haz the weakness.

but it wasn’t enough to hold us down.

can someone please tell me how it is that i get skinnier the more junk i eat? (anxiety) this goes against every single stupid diet rule i ever made. it must be the less drinking. (which evidently is too sad for me to blog about anymore pfft).

we were graced by the conversation of such a stupid twat. they did lemon drops and she goes STORY OF MY LIFE. that’s a nice story on a late sunday afternoon then. POT KETTLE BLACK OMG YOU GUYS! douche comment quotient on this thing has risen exponentially in the last week. have you tools ever heard of like, the weekend?

i don’t care how non-thrilling this news is to you. both flicks for 6.99 i almost fainted.

according to a fourteen year old girl. i can see some parent-influence in there (david cassidy). tory from mythbusters made the cut (though it’s cut off in the photo) but i don’t know who half these people are.

look what my brother did and didn’t even realize it either.

sliced right through the dart plastic.

this bar used to be in our family home. nice to see it still kickin’ around.

parrot fish rules.

re: that weed comment

Boris

oh i’m fine and over it. it’s just funny to me being picked apart for every fucking thing i do, no matter what it is. exhausting, constant and apparently everyone’s a life coach now.

ugh i have a splitting headache.

here i am (busted on vid) talkin shit about a comment i deleted where a guy claimed that weed made people boring. WRONG-O SPAGHETTIO! i was going to expand but instead stoner laughed, then forgot my point, then shoveled a ton of thai food, then continued on to say that weed opens up my brain and dumps lots of garbage out and it’s great. i’m getting a lot of shit written for my book (showed my uncle the agency contract and he was all holy shit good on ya etc.) will get lawyer to mark it up and off we go then. um what was my point again oh right, productivity. weed. trying to come up with material through several hours’ worth of hangover was pretty tough. i admitted to the ryerson class that for the last two years i definitely put my dream on hold there (book writing) and it was my own fault. in drinking less i feel far more clear-headed and i don’t have suicide anxiety each morning (happens later on in the day) so that’s a sigh of relief. i think back on those times and it stuns me how terrifying it really was to live like that for a year and a half, every morning. anyway. WEED POLL!

ugh. the real reason some people, including myself, keep coming back is because it is interesting to see a single person’s life being reduced to a blog, and then reading that blog. i.e. if anyone at all were to blog every single mundane detail of their life, it would have the same kind of hook. When people, who are not necessarily huge fans, keep coming back, this is the reason – not necessarily because they are somehow in love with you! just putting it out there..

COOL ONE PROXY QUEEN! sorry guy, you try to cop my shit and it has NO hook. people criticize the shit out of me constantly and claim what i do is simple. fine yeah totally anyone could essentially do this too for sure. yes. but do they? no. therefore, that argument is rendered pointless. step up or shut up. i never claimed to be anything more or less than what i am so stop stockpiling shit i didn’t ask for on my head. wow i wish i could devote so much time to making contact with someone i allegedly despise. you’re creeps!

ew dude. where do you think you are?

awesome public washroom q-tip explosion just when i needed one. absolutely every single one flew into the sink.

patio doob decoy. no i do not smoke. blech.

yes, it’s true. banality and the great mundane is widely accessible to all. now go be somebody.

here‘s a photo set from the rest of thursday’s goings-on.

only the best for you baby.

and happy birthday blog, nine years!

seriously shawn, what gang are you in? my bro gets mad props at our local blockbuster cos of that sean white guy. i wanna go with him to experience the local fame sometime. guy there with a ponytail totally raked dave and i over once (we were baked DUH) and 30 dollars later we had our movies what?

sibs.

here’s the first post i ever wrote on this blog (CRINGE!) back in 2000.

Today was/is my dad’s birfday. We went all-out and had dinna’ at J.J.Muggs and saw’re The Grinch. I hate kids. durr.
They’re so annoying with their happiness and their chewing and, “Oh my GAWD! The guy kissed the Dog’s butt.”
Eeeyuhhhgrrrr…..
Someday in the future, Raymi will birth a babygirl something. Maybe. We will see.
This is after she has her kicks, of course. After she smokes weed on the beaches of Thailand, writing freelance and mending broken toys for little chillen’……wait, raymi hates chillen. hrmmm…nah, Raymi just hates canadian/american chillen. They’re all spoiled rotten and fat and drooly.
K, tha’senuff. For now.
Yawwwn.
Got that bruisy, booze-eyed look, again. Not enuff ZzzzZZ’s.

I’s gunna try and go for Quality postings, here. Not Quantity.
I have the intent of greatness. Meh.

wow.

QUALITY NOT QUANTITY BAHAHAA. two lies in one.

oh god. we’re both wearing napoleon dynamite boots too. i was a hipster before you were dan deacon!

i wrote my dad a really wicked limerick but i can’t use it cos his names all over it plus all the rhymes so….

hi saturday what’s up!

here or above is the intention and my vision when i went out to grab this from UO. too much blank area in the kitchen. dad says it’s gonna go in the music room. no way why hide it down there? you don’t even have practice there anymore.