you can hear clem screaming all over this. his fave song to blast at last call at central every friday is old man look at my life. i bet he plays that on rotate and bawls in his condo.

it’s a total guydentity-crisis anthem.

it gets good halfway thru. a nice little zoom up. thanks alison. dad keeps calling me raymi winehouse.

this is my favourite song to sing with my dad. dr. robert facebook page like it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5271269993/

dear raymi

so something happened to me last night that made me feel like writing you. following your blog, i like that despite your breakup, you kept going. you went out, got out there, made each day a story, you didnt let something so huge bring you down. you refused to wallow in your heartbreak. (i was not heartbroken) you made it a point to make your narrative something worth living for. or that’s how i see it and i have great admiration for you because of this.

d***

Ill reply longer later when I can. Dating sucks. I hate men now. Ugh. Hang in there fight the good fight. Xoxo can I blog this? Ill keep u anon

For sure, thx for reading it.

just be lucky it’s over now. don’t delude yourself in the future. always have the upper hand in a relationship and always be the one who is loved more, slightly, if you can manage it as callous as that sounds i’ve been hearing this a lot lately and while i don’t entirely agree with it there is always a slight unbalance in a relationship. one is better looking, smarter, younger, more established, better pedigree, social status, wittier, charming, you know? it doesn’t mean one is better than the other but to ignore the thing of leagues in our dating world would just be ignorance. if you’re an 8 and he’s an 8.5 or a 7.9 you must do things to offset the gap like, making him feel insecure some of the time. guys do it to girls non-fucking-stop, never-ending mind fucks and stonewalling to make us desperate and wild for them. i’m too old to tolerate that anymore or act like i don’t know what’s going on. i’m glad for every experience i’ve had with men, long term, long distance, long winded, long enough. my perception of the world is now vastly different. i was a progressive youth, in fact, i pretty much missed out on adolescence altogether for all my cavorting with yuppies back then which is why i am regression city these days. i never dated before really, well maybe i sort of did if you can consider many sloppy serial monogamous relationships one after the other whilst cheating on every single one dating then yes, i have dated before. there is no instruction manual for dating and relationships especially when you’re too self aware of what’s going on in your life and way less rose-tinted glasses now as a late 20’s/early-mid thirties chick. we have no more room to fuck around really if we are anything short of a control freak workaholic perfectionist yupster and so, the fun days of dating broke artists are over and should be avoided but every so often we are known to go there. i say i can’t be one of these stressed out bitches working so hard to make it or break it and i do a good job jumping through all the urban hoops and bla blah and i go home at night and in my big empty bed staring up at my glow in the dark star covered ceiling with my mind racing about all the crap i have to do by friday during the week because that is what my life is turning into and if i don’t get a boyfriend soon to absorb all of my worries i am going to just get squirlier and bitchier. sorry i made your letter about me i don’t ever really know what comfort one is seeking from me, i find that simply just talking can be good enough. we’re all gems and no we will not die alone.

my friend said i’m actually a hardcore feminist what with all my philosophies and how i do but it’s a double standard against me as a woman, and well, duh. but i do it anyway and so should all other ladies. fight the power take it back et cetera lets go to lilith fair yaaaaaa!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5271875610/

Hello. Bonsoir Raymi.

Strangely enough, I just got back from a band practice (I live in London, UK) and was watching a film called ‘The Escapist’ (pretty decent flick) and in that film there’s a bit with an abandoned London underground station – which to me looked kinda cool – so I typed ‘abandoned train stations’ into Google and your blog came up. I never read blogs, but I read a bit of yours and it was pretty cool/intriguing, if not a little fucked up in places. I thought I would email and say…..good job…jolly good job, old chap.

Flattered thanks hi!

Yeah, the blog entry that came up when typing ‘abandoned train stations’ was one from 2004, so I kinda thought it would’ve been a ‘deceased’ blogging website. But then I noticed the archives on the right going way up to 2010……and there you were, still chugging away. 10 years of it. Tenacity.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5271876080/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269742869/

last night your fearless leader broke out of the house and she hired a man nurse to indulge the crap out of her.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269743045/in/photostream/

huge circus steve madden purse stuffed with personal training gear for the following morning she rode to the magical land known as THE JUNCTION to her friend david’s jean reno’s for dinner and movies. somewhat gunned on cold medication, adorably delirious and needy. with perfectly clean garth hair.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270351280/in/photostream/

we met at my shitty date bar. not on a shitty date. i was with my friend nursing a new come life in shambles lost two weeks in the city total bender. after this evening i had a bar fight at not my dog. jean reno had similar fate befall him simultaneous to our tuffle at my previous location, said shitty date bar.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269743553/in/photostream/

knowing someone like him is like knowing a guy version of myself, the hated pretentious eye rolling jab your finger down your throat detest me style. fucking beautiful.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270351768/in/photostream/

we had eyes for that lumberfag guy at the end of the table. kinda hot, probably poor, he came nearer and immediately no thank you, good enough but, no. jean reno in my ear to my left talking and talking and we’re hosed me and her and the kitchen is closed the entire reason i’m there is for her to dine on my favourite tapas dark cocktail freakshow lounge with my waitress and every female staff girl in on my ridiculous shitty date life but this group of dudes… life happens differently to you always dependent upon your company. if you are on a shitty date, no other interaction with the world is allowed to occur but on a friday at your beloved shitty date bar when you are only on a shitty date with your in shambles gas tank girlfriend, well, the night is yours and every one else, the derelicts fallen between the cracks, they’re also on a tear.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270351868/in/photostream/

i thought he wanted her. turns out he was just an idiot like me and wanted to teach us about how bourbon got its burnt smoky flavour then many other little lessons. my girl and i just laughed and laughed and one of the guys in this crew kept targeting me to watch his beer every time he went out for a smoke, it annoyed me. unless i plan to hug you with my pants off (or you’re some interesting in-offensive smooth criminal type character like me that would be equivalent to a small honour to mother your libation) i am not responsible for shit so stop taking advantage of my emanating maternal instinct vibes.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269744223/in/photostream/

first press olive oil apparently a big deal and very good. sopped up with portuguese sweetbread. heinous.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269744501/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270353036/in/photostream/

i was pretty comatose. thought he was planning to maybe bail and maybe i would too based on overall unwellness. the only thing i would be able to partake in this evening was many hours of sitting on a couch staring at the idiot box.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269745495/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269745787/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269746251/in/photostream/

quite the, impression.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270354252/in/photostream/

he was pretty caj but later admitted was trying very hard. i am his senior afterall and this foodie type of aggressor with “needs” and expectations.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270354356/in/photostream/

homemade italian wine too. strong. he’s french, the “real” kind so no surprises there. we even had absinthe later on which gave me immense indigestion later on. heartburn.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270354638/in/photostream/

somewhat sweaty sickly whateverly he’s seen me at my worst i’m in the comfortable zone here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269746859/in/photostream/

being called beautiful numerous times throughout the night doesn’t hurt either.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269747245/in/photostream/

total frenchman plying on wine and compliments though i didn’t allow for total sweeping, i know i played a part there, i am completely charming and intellectual, disarming, irritating and intoxicating. i’m challenging and manipulative, sneakily, cute, coy, i dunno, sorry for being self aware but i know my charms and they don’t work on everyone all of the time but i know i am in possession of something at least i mean, i have this ridiculous blog and i got a GQ-worthy looking catch to be mine for 5 years so there you go, an achievement.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269747401/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270355526/in/photostream/

one of his friends said today I’M SO GLAD SHE CAME OVER I WAS WORRIED YOU WERE ABOUT TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET. hahahaha.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270355658/in/photostream/

very seinfeld marble rye episode. it all comes back to seinfeld.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269748111/in/photostream/

one. i don’t eat bread. two. if i did, it wouldn’t be this much. three. i have zero willpower, especially when sick and on dayquil. four. this looks like a massive cupcake and it may as well be (so much sugar in it).

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270356118/in/photostream/

bluh.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269748533/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270356576/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269748793/in/photostream/

spastic sick person vision.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270356932/in/photostream/

brought my slippers that’s how sick.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269749847/in/photostream/

uhhh k.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270357982/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270358132/in/photostream/

had like a billion espressos then we were good for movies.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270358282/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270358430/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269750627/in/photostream/

now at lunch at boom today. will blog the rest of that tomorrow. i’m in burlington, dad and i are givin’er.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269750769/in/photostream/

after hair appt today at darius’ man just go gogoogogogogo even had my motion room session this morning and used one of their offices to bang out lux post then home to grab britt’s shirt to drop at gibson and a chat with brad i can’t remember what it was like to be idle except the last two days sick yet still i did a lot it’s like i’m being chased keep going and then nothing can get you my mind is constantly going whirring in quadrants, managing triple campaigns simultaneously, dates, blog, gah nevermind look i have long legs.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270359124/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269751179/in/photostream/

oh and i have costume changes for every single activity i do ever in life can i get a thank you praise bipolar hallelujah amen sister now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269751247/in/photostream/

how much would you love a swiss chalet rip off raymi placemat starring a labyrinth with no solution, rotating artists profiled, blogger features, vulgar crosswords, lolzspeak word search, connect the dots drawings of hot dogs…? seriously guys this is the blogger backed brunch spot likely only place ever in the city not only willing to tolerate our collective self-entitled new media bullshit, but actually encourage and applaud it. how’s that? tony asked if my dad still dresses like seinfeld. they’re the same age. cannot wait until they meet. shopping date hahaha.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5269751393/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5270359600/in/photostream/

it’s friday, i’m in burlington, do you know where your children are?

LAST DAY LAST DAY LAST LAY GET LAID I MEAN LAST DAY!! to join the party in montreal with team raymbo bright. vote vote vote.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267277095/

so i had my first wax ever down there and it was a wonderful experience. very impressed with the spa, the staff, and the service. they were very accomodating and i love the results, the spa is also gorgeous and located in posh ol’yorkville. you have the new purchase high except you can’t really show it off, it’s a personal treat for sure and if someone invites me over (casie) for a hot tub jam (or clem) i’m ready to rock. today via fabfind you can purchase a discount coupon for $18 for a $45 service at lux spa for either airbrush tanning, eyebrow threading or waxing. pretty decent deal. melodie went for an eyebrow wax on her already perfect brows. check it out.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267833476/

here we are watching the video of my wax experience. for our eyes only. or for a rainy day, ten years from now heheheh.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267835510/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267843586/in/photostream/

shes’ going zen. i don’t mind eyebrow waxing, it stings but it’s quick. you get an adrenaline buzz.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267850606/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267856520/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267858282/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267253399/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267258617/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267876414/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267879978/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267279853/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267887928/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267281977/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267890842/in/photostream/

happy girls hug attack.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5267891880/in/photostream/

back to the grind thanks pals.

tgif xoxo your pal raymbo!

things ain’t like they used to be from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264267411/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264880446/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5265831359/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5265831675/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5266438100/in/photostream/

look how blondy white my hair is. darling. seriously i am not obsessed with my own hair i am just super sick and insane right now combined with pms.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264954312/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264283783/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264881330/in/photostream/

i think these speak for themselves. more on this experience tomorrow. raymi’s first wax. piece’a cake.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5266485878/

my impression of a disney princess posing as a peasant to blend in.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5265878281/in/photostream/

tales of the super blond. erica looked up blondtourage and found that we blondside haters. hahaha.

I found this definition for blondetourage in urban dictionary. is this a common term?

The BLONDETOURAGE is protected by the BLONDEBRIGADE which consists of a tactical unit (usually not natural blonde) that protect from the haters out there. They also fend off men that are inappropriate. These smart, educated sassy girls are the ones you love to hate.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5265878181/in/photostream/

yo relax guys. three days left for the contest. keep voting! keep entering!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5266485526/in/photostream/

sick in bed made a circus of my nails this morning.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5265877905/in/photostream/

last nite i drank rum and oj and read til i passed out feeling sorry for myself.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5266485256/in/photostream/

this day, sunday, and the rain, is definitely to thank for my sickly state.

okkkkkkkkkkk byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

this pitch is very Zach Galifianakis and the vodka campaigns he did i can’t wait to hit it big time so i can piss off many more clients.

team adventurehouse + stew have matching red phones now. kind of a relief. i am greedy and competitive, even though i love red i love everything else too and then more plus extra, and again and still that’s not enough.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264419149/

andrew sent me along with snot rags, halls and pms chocolate. awww. inhaled half the chocolate and didn’t take vitamin c pills cos i didn’t want that choc orange flavour taste mixture in my mouth. PRIORITIES!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264346653/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264347605/in/photostream/

feel sick still. am sick still but doped up on meds. have the itch, the sick itch, urge to go out and do things despite knowing i need a break. had three double americanos today that might have something to do with it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264348757/in/photostream/

i am so tired of rudeness it just feels like it’s this never-ending ocean of choppy bitchiness waves, gossip, passive aggression and foul spirits surrounding me and trying to get in. everyone always has an excuse or reason to justify being a bold faced twat to me. it starts out by me slightly humouring it then progresses into the fascinated by it stage, then that doesn’t last for very long and i become severely irritated by it. people ask me a lot how i deal with negative comments constantly and that they wouldn’t be able to handle it. i take it and i accept it but every so often it reaches the tipping point and i have to decide to either flip out, make a scene, call someone on it. ugh. but then how does that make me look? not very good. so i cannot win. i am just supposed to deal with this abuse and not give the losers airspace.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264349141/in/photostream/

we all teamed up on a racist moron last nite out front of mitzi’s were saying our goodbyes and lucas goes to this guy smoking, what did you mean by “those fucking asians”? just wanted to know because my mom is asian (Phillipino) and he tries to lip us off like it was nothing and too complex for us to possibly understand. lucas and mel walk away then the guy gets drunk brave and says yeah tell your friend to fuck off and all this other garbage and then i go you know what id rather be asian than fat and short like you. he goes women always gotta chime in on things as melodie came back and we were seriously going to scrap. stew was ready for it too. this guy’s friend comes out to shoo us off him and the guy tries to barrel out the door at us again for more. called lucas pimply. i said are you serious he has the most clear skin ever, probably cos of his ASIAN ancestry. the moral of the story is, don’t talk to strangers. no just kidding. these moments happen and while i am told to let things go and rise above, no one else seems to take their own damn advice. lucas was the only one who heard him say that, he could have ignored it. i’m glad he didn’t because that guy had to go sit in the bar and think about what he said for the rest of the night. we gave him a chance to explain himself, i stood on the stoop and arrogantly bowed and said now is your chance please do enlighten us yeah it was kind of an ambush, people mutter stuff thinking they’ll get away with it. not in parkdale. not on our watch. especially when we’ve been drinking 5 hours and the waitress was a total sow to me. again. unbelievable. i was the only one targeted. i wouldn’t even open my mouth just to prove my point and she totally slammed only MY drinks down. i was so angry i almost told her off when i went to pay but i held back. i’ll save it for a rainy day. a raymi day. stewart ordered my wine for me like a gentleman and to be passive aggressive.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264957546/in/photostream/

excuse me miss notice how i am the one coming to pay the bill here? maybe this tip option will give you some BEING NICE TO ME NEXT TIME incentive. i was so flabbergasted i tried to do the math in my head of how much money i have spent in that establishment, the tweet mentions, you name it. it’s beyond self-entitlement too. i am a paying customer, a regular paying customer, i bring people there and this employee is just nothing but moody and rude and you’d think she’d be nicer to me seeing as everyone i go there with has been going there years, we’re all friends, pah, but no. it’s the hair, it really is. another parkdale regular said to me he was going to judge me based on my blond hair but because of who i was sitting with at the bar i was therefore acceptable. i’m like meanwhile dude i reviewed the restaurant you work in heheh. you never know who you’re speaking to in this city.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264957978/in/photostream/

laundry sweater mountain is growing.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264958358/in/photostream/

here i am reflecting on my manic day. at least it was sunny. still can’t find my winter boots. or one of my jackets. or my favourite sweater. grand.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5264347145/in/photostream/

Salena says

Getting drunk and working out doesnt merit needing a business card. You are basically a kept wife, minus the whole “husband” thing.

that is the dumbest comment i’ve ever read. i wouldn’t be able to get drunk and work out if not for a business, or a card. you’re beyond backwards and the icing on the idiot cake is this whole kept notion. kept women don’t work. i work. in fact today i did three business-related things across the city, no wait, 5, all before 3pm. what the hell did you do? oh, read my blog, said something catty and incorrect on it. cool life you have.