gotta go, lying in the sun, can’t really see the screen have to enjoy this day as it’s supposed to rain tomorrow and also have to magically clean the tower whilst enjoying said sun. watched the roommate last night, holy cuckoo bananas and exact same premise as SWF, to which i am also an expert as i’ve got TONS of single white females up in ma grill. ew i just took an ancient pillowcase off of an even ancienter pillow and i have never seen a more disgusting pillow. this is why i am spring clean beaver fever insane, guy has been living like a bachelor sans pretty princess and so there is a lot of work to do (family coming over tomorrow did i say that already?) on top of honeymoon slob stage that happens, double disaster. stella keeps territorial pissing (hey that’s a nirvana song) everywhere (even though i take her out daily and bag her shit) intermittently, is it an aging thing? i am not a dog person so, but don’t worry, there’s two retarded cats here also to fill that void. lady garbage has a song now, to the tune of lady madonna, with garbage at her feet. the other one, her eyes look in opposite directions and i love it.
i must be a really old person like prehistoric times old (‘notha lives and shit) cos i am into legs on dudes, dude’s legs whom when in their underwear look all neanderthal manly hot. like so.
make all your emails to me awesome, you never know, i may just reply in vlog-form. haha i’m playing this right now and stella is looking around for me even though i’m sitting right here my voice is being broadcast directly INSIDE HER MIND.
hahahaha flattering. don’t worry, new ‘kinis are coming my way. wonder if i should stay tan lineless this year? should i make my signature tan lines again for the movie? maybe i should ask them first and now that it’s back to raining we have at least one more day of alabaster on our hands.
i cannot believe how long this phone has lasted me. it’s going to totally blow up soon. i am such a cheapskate procrastinator waiting on shannon and i’s schedule to align so i can take her unused blackberry off her. speak of the devil my phone rang and then said reset app and now it’s hourglassing its balls off on me now shit. i bet it was teacher calling. yes bring home more presents you don’t have to call to ask me about that.
i told the teacher the story about the first day i wore these tube flops. what an event. it’s like floating 3D acid trip arrows were all hovering around my legs pointing down, NEW ITEM! LOOK! i practically ran home from the dovercourt starbucks with my bodum passed the parkdale regular fare also totally like what!!? about my fluorescent in their face feet. tubular.
no i think i’m steering more toward dog the bounty hunter territory now. i mean, i can run and we both have wavy blond hair and all kinds of weird shit dangling off us. flare. flair? meh. this joke is over.
scary, intense, awesome, like dating a pile of pink sugar what speaks. i think largely why i get away with showing my tits is because i don’t have any. i can’t tell you how many people mistake me for a guy on youtube. f-rs.
watched charlie sheen’s winning recipes video (i love it)(yes OLD). half the gibberish that spills out of him man, hilarious. so raymi. good thing i don’t smoke.
i sense mystery camera’s fullness but i just flipped on MY laptop and nothing happened. i’m using teacher’s new macbook pro. trying to get over mac learning curve. ARG. ACK!
having some family over sunday means must clean everything. EH VEH RAY THEENG. i feel like a bike ride. i must prepare myself for my work out now. i am ready for them (it’s tyler’s first real work out). i am listening to someone precariously slide/shove a piece of junk mail under the door right meow cos i won’t answer it and stella keeps low growl/barking and i keep shushing her in my underwear. COOL MOMENT!
to kill the party to. they usually put this one on at the end of the night, everyone starts grinding, the bride’s family becomes horrified and the honeymoon begins. congrats you two, what a lovely couple!
in my raymi speak i was all, baby do the thing (connect photobooth to the tv) with the stuff (mirror image that shit webcam time) and show the lisas what fun is like.
coffee tawlk time. ack! (cathy comic) we ack a lot now. it’s a new thing we do. you wouldn’t understand. also this blog is so turning into a friends spin-off lol.
i’ve been putting teacher through the lauren white celebrity diet of lovesickness and abuse and it’s working for him. he’s all model-y now. you’re welcome. invoice is in the mail.
they wouldn’t shut up about how ugly i am in this beetlejuice shrunken head picture. when they see the swan go ug duckling they make sure to point it out. assholes.
these are from the weekend, liz went back to that saucy little post to perv out and give kudos again. she and i have been living bizarro-mirror-like lives for many years and we’ve never met. well hers is filled with more glitter and a husband but, well, nevermind. speaking of saucy little posts, i have actively begun harassing playboy, prior to this post i sent a letter to the editor. maybe i will email tony pierce that old slut.
i was cast a character role in an indie feature film, shooting two days before i fly to south beach. my scene is in a hotel and “the audience is hearing faint sounds of ecstasy” it’s a doing it scene. tasteful nude obviously but woah time to get my game face on. i just looked at the script, ok looks like i will be cleansing again for the month, psycho diet! i gotta walk around in le buff. it’s a good script too i am pumped.
if they let me walk around like this when i will be fine. WOMAN IN PRETZEL FORMATION LEANS IN DOORWAY FOR VERY LONG TIME WHILE MOVIE HAPPENS AROUND HER.
i guess this means my tattoos will get on to film too or will they try and hide them? i’ll lay off getting minx written on me OR raymitheminx. guh can’t decide. maybe neither (mom shhhhhish).
doods i have abs now. for real ones. there’s still inches to pinch but yeah guy if i dehydrate myself good and plenty (wine bender haha) then you can see the definition.
watched i love you phillip morris last night. I LOVED IT! look no cellulite. i got girlfriends skinnier than me or know chicks whatever but then we go swimming and they’re like look at my legs all cottage cheesy and lumpy and then i stop giving an eff about my beach ball beer gut. win. thanks mom for the gams.
two of me could not exist. i would be psychotically jealous of the other one constantly comparing myself to her. teacher goes is it wrong to have a favourite? of these two? no i don’t think so. but if you wanna go cuckoo meta about it see how there’s puma written on my shirt, then it’s backwards, and i’m reversed so then the word is written unbackward, which would mean that it’s reversed-reveresed? then, where am i? there is no real me?
street boners had a thread yesterday of girls in cute underwear essentially, butt pics like this but it was a no white girls allowed edition. dudes i got a rump. i like when i post badonk pics and then some troll will go, you have no ass when clearly it’s a capital D for DONK but enough about me (for three seconds).
css was amazing. i saw her years ago at lee’s i’ll scare up that post. brock got his up, he tweeted at me a few times over the night and i was so blasted i didn’t realize he was OUR brock so i’m all WHERE are you!?? idiot.
i love back/side-stage. i don’t like touching people or being touched by the commoners. while other times i love it i go slam dance with them they get all mad then turn to see a platinum goony smile flufferbunneh clothes-lining people and they’re all rock&roll LIVES. aw i miss melodie WHERE ARE YOU.
BEFORE oops caps lock, she was a cute little bull fighter. fightress. kind of pirates of the caribbean in tuxedo pants and curly hair and must be 2 inches tall. love it.
with a girl playing every instrument save for one. making us wave and chant and break dance with her, such cute brazilian good time positivity. lisa was loving it.
for the encore we went back upstairs to get the led out and she put on a big crazy dress. makes sense. lisa said it went with the song. i couldn’t make out words by that point.
we did not like these chicks in our space up here but played nice until i told one to tell her friend that she was, and i quote, “a fucking bitch” because i ran after all of them with their jacket and the girl goes, oh, not ours, i go are you sure because you were the only people up there. they took from my good time to go chase after them then give me who the fuck are you-ness? nuh uh. TWO minutes later a girl comes back all frantic WHERE IS MY JACKET? i said it’s over there but make sure you tell your friend that she’s a fucking bitch ok? she’s like for real? i go yeah dude i ran down the stairs on your heels with this jacket and she wouldn’t even attempt to ask ANY of you if it belonged to you so go tell her for me that she’s a fucking bitch, thank you i mean it. they didn’t come back after that, well not the one who got my telegram anyway. teacher lisa and courtney saw it all go down, we were taking their spot as they were leaving vip so now it’s our territory but the rules state that if the prior guests leave anything behind you go do a solid and deliver it to them. which is what i did cos i’m a hawk-eye and saw a black coat rammed beneath a chair so i motion in retarded not even real words speak to courtney to go throw that jacket at the girls down the stairs which courtney has no idea what i am even saying so i go UGH and do it myself and then that happens and then the other thing happens.
this is so carrie. creepy. but anyway, one of my psychotic scary raymisms is DON’T MAKE ME TELL YOU TWICE or DON’T MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF because i am ALWAYS right, the first time around, and it comes out nice and sweetly but if you question my knowledge and instinct you will regret it. that’s all. i go sopranos like that. which apparently was a very popular show right, i never watched an episode. lulz.
in between acts dudes and girls were drunk dancing to robyn it was so fun. and funny. this is my favourite part when the lights come on and i can stare at people like zombies in dawn of the dead, getting drunker and drunker. so good. you can see a vibe overtake the crowd like a ripple ocean wave. cosmic hippie is talking. shh.
it was so loud. we didn’t have earplugs. by the point it became unbearable it was too late anyway. i like silences anyway so it doesn’t matter if i go deaf.
both band’s front women did lots of crowd surfing. it’s kind of expected these days right? i need a good crowd surfing photo. it’ll happen and be epic. prob this summer at nxne. dare me to?
ok i’m going to finish reading it now. SO not watching the clip. some moron in the comments is all those shoes so do not go with that dress. idiot. they so do.
