tell me i am not the only one who succumbs to clicking on porn banners when they pop up and flash all their graphics. i feel so duped. so easily seduced. in the back of my mind there’s a smart person saying, “NO, don’t do it, that’s not really a scroll bar just an image of one!” i tell this “smart” person to quiet down and i happily click the advert.

dumbass

ten windows open and reopen and the “smart” person’s all smug.

Fuck you Porn banner!

Bathrume interpretive dancing

things that piss me off:

any sort of “roll up the rim to win” cup where you’ve got to gnaw at the rim to unfurL it altho’ you just know it’s going to say sorry or please play again but you still gnaw away at it and then gnaw sum more and then it DOES say please play again and it’s like, sorta your own fault and you have no one to blame but your stupid self.

infomercials

Channel 12 and Channel 13 on TV (french channels)

FUN size m&m’s becuz you are actually getting less and they aren’t all that fun. really.

uncomfortable silences whilst talking to relatives or random people on the street where you feel compelled to say anything and the moron just stares at you, not realizing yer agitated by their simple presence and they just stand there and force you to make small talk and you always end up looking like a goon. Ffuk i hate that!

waiting for elevators

Sunday afternoon TV. it is always bad. I also hate TV between 1 and 4 in the afternoon during the week. Soap Operas. barf.

That is all for now.

went to fatboy slim. wuz gud. drank lots. smoked lots. danced lots. sweat lots. then i went home

so this dumbass of a guy walks into my store on saturday (my birthday) and goes,
“muttermuttermutter…I need pot lites. you know POT LITES!? they look like a P_O_T!”
to me and he sez this like i am a re-fucking-tard.
at the time i was trying to chew down sum chocolate and sum milk and was still on break
but this mutha’fucker is nagging AT me.
so i say,
“hmmmmmm, pot LITES, eh? hmmmm.”
and i stroke my chin and think about it cuz i know exactly whut pot lites are but i am just wondering if we have them in stock.

“yeh wELL!?” he is staring at me all impatient and i can’t get the words out to him yet BECUZ i am chewing and have that, ‘i don’t want to help you rite now becuz i am on my fucking break’ Look on my face but he is still standing there LOOKING at me and shaking his head,
“well which STYLE of pot lite do you want? do u need the case for it as well or just the POT lite itself?” i sorta mutter this out while i am walking towards johnny to ask him whut the dilio be on these gawdDamn pot lites….
SO, when the POTLITE guy sees Johnny he goes to me,
“Well, i don’t even really need a pot lite i just need the CLIPS for them.”
and then he starts following johnny down the aisle and i say in a cute and funny and charming tone,
“well now you’re changing your story ’round.”
and i go off but this asshole turns around and gets in my face (nose-to-nose, like he is gunna fucking hit me) and is all,
“whaddidyuhsay? HUH HUH!? come on. you want me to rat you out, huh uhh Are you always like this? eh? if so i’d hate to see you on a BAD day jesus kriste!?”
(In his mind he thinks i mutterd a fuck you or a go to hell you asshole)

i cannot fucking beleeve it, jesus kriste, so i sorta break down and step back a lil bit,

“Look, YOU walked in here and started in on your POT LITE charade WHILE i was chewing AND i was still on my break BUT i still went over to JOHNNY and asked for further help FOR YOU concerning your POT LITES but then you say “oh, i don’t even need a pot lite just the clips,”
and u know whut i sed?, “now you’re changing your story.” that’s IT! i did not swear at you i didn’t even say it with sarcasm like i usually do and NOW you’re in my face being verbally abusive causing a scene and it’s my GODDAMN BIRTHDAY so LEAVE ME ALONE!”

then i storm to the back of the store, grab my bag, walk rite passed this motherfucker and all the shocked customers and go out for an extended break.

ARRg. guidojuicemonekymuthafucker!

i bought pistachios at work yesterday and green gatorade.

this old guy came in and i shared my pistachios with him

he liked them

he gave me a dollar for being so nice

i like sharing

i stole a pair of blue rockstar sunglasses today. i was trying them on and in one fluid motion i dropped them in my bag and walked over to my frendz,

“Uhh guys, a barcode wouldn’t set the alarm off would it?”

“no. it wouldn’t.”

“Ok then.”

and off i go. That’s Rad!

ever notice that when people get new cars, no matter what type of vehicle –
they instantly buy a new pair of sunglasses to sport whilst driving like they’re all bad
zooming around in their new SUV or whutever dullard car
they think defines them as a person
and adds meaning to their pitiful life?

one time my fillipino frend reNA ate one of her dawgs fluorescent green Dog biscuits cuz we told her to do it and she pretended it tasted good so we all wanted to do it. i sniffed the treat and was like, “ew gross.” but my other frend took a bite and got real mad Quick at Rena and sed, “you ffukin’ bitch liar. u sed these tasted good.”

i wonder why sum dog biscuits are dyed fluorescent green and yellow and orange? i remember they came in a big brite yellow box.

we use to steal rena’s dad’s menthol cigarettes.

i am so bored and aLL the sites i normally go to will not load becuz of some gay blocking of sites with swearing and nastiness on ‘em at skool. aRRrrr. ward told me about the time last nite he had this lil pink battery powered train that took C batteries and he was carrying it down the stairs, tripped – the train flies in the air and smashes against wall, sending fragments of pink-plastickyNess everywhere and he remembers seeing the C batteries slowly roll by him as he is lying on the floor injured and in pain. his mum walks in immediatelyand chucks out all pieces of train and pockets the batteries for herself.

i go for a koffee now