want to be friends with everyone? let trashy girls hit on you in poolhall bathrooms and humour them when they make incorrect cosmetic suggestions, whatever. play dumb. i dunno why exactly you’d want to be friends with some poolhall hussy, but you know, it wouldn’t hurt.
when you have to walk across a crowded room and there are ten jillion guys watching you and you know it, how do you walk across the room? snottily? snobbily? look down? head up, smoking? hmm. depends on the setting, really. i try a little of everything. people won’t fuck with you if they think yer a big weirdo, which i am, and im kinda hot and i always have a camera so they think im famous or some bigshot loser with a camera. i get away with a lot of things. add this line into your regular vocab, “Do you know who I AM!?” it never fails. the guys with the girlfriends who are asposed-to hate your guts, grab one by the waist and kiss her or flirt with her lots. once you win her over, you win ‘em all over andthen you can have all the cock you want. make her think all nite long that she is the boss of the room. badmouth her a little to her uglier friends, they’ll love you for it and stuff.
never be afraid to email anybody. that’s how i do it. be a lil flirty, but sincere. dont bullshit, dont try and be all tough and mysterious. people (i) don’t have time for that. get to the point. if they want what you’re selling then they will get back to you. email everyone at the same time and get it over with.
save your money. duh. i think i was put on this earth to spend one thousand dollars a week. totally. put 2/3 of that away as often as possible. do your taxes.
pay someone to do all the shitty things you don’t want to do yourself. ignore people when they call you lazy and decadent because 1. you are better than they are and can afford to get someone else to do yer shit chores and they never thought of it themselves and 2. now you have more time to make macaroni sculptures, so who is the lazy one now?
always try and be friends with your mum and dad and brother and in the end if they are really mean to you or hate you for being naked, then stop being nice to them.
don’t be afraid of the internet. use it wisely. find yer niche. don’t give too much away for free. it is up to you to make yourself useful to society and grow along with it. it is nobody’s fault but your own if you are a stupid miserable unchangeable loser failure.
be friends with old people and retarded kids. i love autistic kids the best. sometimes i think i am autisitc. that would be awesome. i’d never ever have to talk again.
dont be afraid to call your cell phone people and change your plan around so you are not paying 4 trillion dollar phone bills every month for fucksakes. dont be afraid to call any company and complain. u would be surprised at all the free stuff you can get. wuhoo.
uhhh…
it’s ok to confront people to their faces and tell them exactly how you feel and tell them just how big a cunt they really are. i do it all the time. some people are truely evil and mean and hate you(me) for all the wrong reasons. tell them off real good and then go on with yer life. you dont need unecessary stress.
don’t carry grudges. that’s pure cancer and ulcers waiting for you just around the corner. do you even remember why you are so mad at so and so? who cares. i don’t.
it’s ok to refer to girls as bitches and if they don’t get it then stop explaining your case. it’s ok to be politically incorrect and say nigger and fag and spic etc etc as long as is not intended to put someone down. tho some are not so smart and dont get the joke until after they have already shot you in the foot.
be friends with at least a few crazy bitches. i met one with a knife scar on her breasts and then she shot the guy who did it in the ankle. she was aiming for his cock. hahaha. i have photos of her too. total babesville.
ok thats evough for now. im too fat to put up pictures and i have a party to plan. if you wanna come to it tonite email or fone me. ok bye.
Hi,we are just two twelve-year-old girls that LOVE boys Anhate the thought of girls ,unlike some people.We have a question for you,DO YOU STILL LIKE GIRLS?
�������������� YOU� ARE� A� PSYCHO AND IF I WERE ANYWHERE NEAR YOU
������������������� I’D RUN AND CALL MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i think i bombed the sex tv interview. im not my regular amazing self before 5pm. oh well. hopefully the dudes in the editing suite know what to look out for. hrmm.
i chainsmoked and drank tallboys and i was maaanic. at least my psychiatrist is going to let me come back for more free help.
someone hacked my viceland account. i didnt even notice. gavin wrote me and said that it happened and they fixed it. i am so popular because people want to log into my accounts and be me. wow.
im pretty deflated these days. miserable a bit, overwhelmed. now i can be friends with sean lennon and that esthero girl and the drummer. not lying.
they liked the blond girl. they didnt like the weed smell or the trashy apt. but so what. it has charm. u are all invited to my indoor garage sale. i want to sell everything pretty much. and my laptop. who wants my laptop?
i seriously have to change my eating habits. mm beer soup surprise good morning.
today is a wonderful day. my ovaries are harvesting the most severe amount of surrealistic pain, like squeezing alien eggs that are green and venemous and i am no longer a fat, water-retaining piglet. ahhh.
i’m not sure, but there’s a good possibility i may perhaps be banned from the gladstone hotel. wink wink wank.
i don’t have time for nuthin’ . someone find me a new loft. please. i need a real estate someone agent.
look im a playdoh head run lola run bitch cunt fifth element whatever. should i make it so i have matching nether regions?
fluorescent firesnatch supreme. oh YES! like that one blondgirl?
ok everyone ready for my drunken manifesto for growth, expansion and all that other jazzy shit? wanna know why i think i’m kingshit everywhere i go and why blond girl seahag ice cold pussy etcetera etcetera etcetera (spoken like willy wonka at the end of charlie ‘n the chocolate factory at the end when charlie gets busted for like betraying that child molestor of a factory wanker…anyhow, willy is all dude these are the terms u never read the rules and like etcetera..bla bla…and charlie gets sad and grampa joe is all like blow me you fuck..?””) wanna know why we’re so amazing cool and fucking irritating and . ..
well assholes, we’re merely exposing this fucking culture that you asshole hipster supercool style fags whatever the fuck are a part of and you could do it too, except you don’t, (well maybe, but u suck at it because i never heard of you.) you’d rather sit there like fucking hee-haw ducks and say, “raymi is so naked and her tits and shut up…she is like so porno i am so annoyed by her, shes white trash bla bla blaaaa.” well, do you get almost 60,000 hits a month and have media banging down your goddamn door? im a fucking lone soldier trying to succeed and start something, and involve you and shit and yer all negative. u should read this month’s vice, the happiness issue. it’d take that bitchy moan outta yer system. fuckheD. and gavin if you want those niggerlips you have to give me ad space and/or make me employee of the month. i want to write to lesley arfin and that guy in jail too and a follow-up to vice ruined my life, – “why raymi failed at vice magazine” it’s amazing. the pages glow like the sun. i am not lying. ok.
back to telling you “fanatics” off.
you pieces of lame can stay in buck idaho..
whatever i have a party going on and someone just put lipstick all over mikey’s drunk asleep face and i have to take pictures of it. im not allowed to be anti social anymore as well, michael jackson is playing. bye.
all im saying is, dont complain about me, create yer own fun and success and then we can talk about something. dont call me fat unless u send me a photo of yourself the same goes for ugly comments. i can help you. you know. remember the name: missy miu. ok bye. i havent really slept in 4 days and eaten anything and i already told u im all raspy and shit. but im hot so it all evens out. hot hot hot. fuck you.
mum, i’ll call you tomorrow. hold tight. sorry i freaked out “freddy” my brother. wuh-oh.
three things that are happening over the next sixty days that you should be aware of. maybe 4 or 5 things. if i remember them all.
my 150 page, with blacknwhite photos and drawings, articles etc etc etc book is being published. about 300-500 of them so start emailing parkdaleraymi@hotmail.com to put one on hold. they have an isbn# and everything, copyright bla bla but im printing them independently and fucking those printing house fags out of the equation because i am too insecure and think they will reject my book. that and well, i am too afraid to write a proposal becausei suck at formal writing as is plain to see. if the piece of shit sells well, then, yah, im sure a publisher will give me money and get me to edit all the typos and make it more professional. but still it’s saddle-stitched and exactly like a paperback novel. oh and if you’ve read it already it’s like 60 per cent different. less retarded.
site re-launch
accepting proposals for the celebrity art show i’m running for the end of march, or april. yes i am accepting YOUR proposals because this event benefits YOU not ME, well, me too but im trying to entice you. ill post my contract or blueprint later next week. or tomorrow. we’ll see. anyhow, it runs for a month and something will happen everyday. rock shows, burlesque shows. art shit. aa meetings. yep. nudity. totally. so, if you want to be a part of it, lemme know and ill say more stuff to you.
sex tv interview happening this tuesday. i dont even know how long the feature will but tht doesnt matter because my stupid fat face will be all over the television and you’ll be forced to look at me. maybe for 24 hours. wouldn’t that be fun. haha. yuuuh. my mum is so fucking scared im doing poooorno but im not, well, arty pretend stuff that u cant find in america because your president is gay. like jesus. though judas was fucking cool because in jesus christ super star he was black and betrays jesus and sings fromthis stage like jem and the hollograms had and then he jumps and hangs himself. so. damn. cool. whatever. um, yah.
oh gladstone is having retro boogie karaoke on march 16th and i heard a rumor that mister t will be there. (ahahahah. if u believe that you are like, so dumb.)
oh and im turning older than dust on march 31st (20) and im having a serious midlife nervous breakdown anxiety attack of a crisis.
ok. so. i’ve had it. yeh. we almost got dibs on this cathedral 20 ft. ceiling loft-thing. raymi’s moving the team over elsewhere. in the meantime, we be hangin’ in the wop ghetto. we have new fancy cabinets, though. oh and the heat is not broken anymore. jeez. i go away for two months and thee very nite i am to sleep there. the heat stops working. fuck toronto. my landlord is a spacehead and everytime something goes wrong he phones coolhandluke (not the boss of the house) or the crazy roommate who hacked my email and drove me out of that house around xmas to begin with and then takes her side. anyway, it’s a loverly and charming place to live. you are SO gauranteed some cocaine buffets and fishnets. the blond girl lives there also, on my cum-stained mattress. ew. haha. just wait ’til you see the new “Me and the blond girl” galleries.
va-va-va-va-vooooom.
blond girl is also known as bunnygirl. i think.
ok so i dunno if one of my assistants in Spanish Harlem sent out my shitty mass-email. i hope not because i have decided to delay this art show a month. you know how i was complaining about like, something, and then i said that iwas going to run away or whatever? yah, well, that time is now. so you have 4 days to plan my three-week grandmaster mutherfuckin’ ghetto-way. hahaha
i just made up ghetto-way.
anyhow, please suggest only the most richest of places, only.
and ps – davo downloading guy who wants me to answer his interview questions a la avril lavigne style? fuck that skunt. u know she worked in that napanee home hardware and wore the shirt on SNL and now its worth billions and trillions? welp. i fucking worked at a home hardware for 4 goddamn years and i invented that arm legwarmers thing look but only because i have a complex about my upper arms. theyre like flabby grandma oprah flappers. i swear.
