March 24, 2003
when someone calls you a web whore are they being all complimentary and obviously NOT insulting you or is this a faggoty double entendre? meh. i wish they were exciting as the people versus whitey.
double entendre
n : an ambiguity with one interpretation that is indelicate
this makes me happy and excited to go to LA eventually.
tony says:
when are you coming here?
raymihonky says:
my life is too messed up right now and overwhelming
raymihonky says:
i dont even have a job and im like KJHWKAHGD:AG P all frazzled. pffft.
tony says:
thats sad
tony says:
no it’s sad you won’t be here [LA].
raymihonky says:
sad? shut up. dont gimme yer pity. i am having SOME fun, though.
raymihonky says:
i can wake up and sleep whenever the fuck i want, no structure or limitations
raymihonky says:
oh, that kinda sad
tony says:
ive been on vacation this week
tony says:
im enjoying the sleeping when i want
raymihonky says:
but u have a real job right?
raymihonky says:
what the fuck do you do again?
tony says:
i work at e!
tony says:
i want a new job
tony says:
i want to move to canada
raymihonky says:
niiice dude. canada is so hot right now.
raymihonky says:
get e to feature blogs and raymitheminx.com
tony says:
they couldn’t care less about blogs
raymihonky says:
well, they will care about them. 4 years too late though. all they care about is red carpets at gay award things that i am not invited to anyways so i could care less about them too.
tony says:
totally
raymihonky says:
we get that tard channel
raymihonky says:
except its called E!star or something
raymihonky says:
it’s gay
tony says:
i told them that i would write their Eblog
tony says:
i had a whole proposal
raymihonky says:
but the canadian version is way cooler
raymihonky says:
and they told u to fuck off?
tony says:
yes
tony says:
in it i said that the wall street journal even has a blog
tony says:
blah blah
raymihonky says:
i think they said no to you because you are a boring regular guy, they want young up and coming or dying loser women
tony says:
they said, “blogs are unprofessional”
raymihonky says:
like joan rivers daughter
raymihonky says:
EW
raymihonky says:
do u know her?
tony says:
i ran into her on wednesday
raymihonky says:
“blogs are the new black and even famous people have them” -raymi the minx. tell them that quote, those fuckers.
tony says:
I want to take pictures of that crazy place!
raymihonky says:
what crazy place ?
raymihonky says:
why dont u all come to my house before i am evicted for real
raymihonky says:
u have like 2 months
raymihonky says:
coolhandluke is moving . he punched a hole in the wall. the blond girl and i are driving him crazzzzy!
raymihonky says:
and there is no chance in hell he is taking that bed
raymihonky says:
ever ever never dammit
raymihonky says:
im lonely and sad
tony says:
if i woulda known you werent coming here i woulda come there
raymihonky says:
and angry
raymihonky says:
really?
tony says:
yes!
raymihonky says:
well maybe u should have told me this sooner u fucktwit
tony says:
i made no plans cuz i thought you were coming here
raymihonky says:
o well next year u can meet me then
tony says:
i told you when i was vacationing!
raymihonky says:
no im still coming
raymihonky says:
just not on yer special holiday
raymihonky says:
so do u really bang all those girls u write about? are u really a big fat liar
tony says:
i bang more
tony says:
its hard to kiss and tell
raymihonky says:
totally
tony says:
one i didnt bang cuz she was a virgin
raymihonky says:
do u think i bang people every second?
tony says:
i wanted to eat her out too but she had never had that before
tony says:
and i didnt want to be her first
raymihonky says:
yeh right
tony says:
no one bangs every second
raymihonky says:
i woulda been her first
tony says:
its true!
raymihonky says:
ive fucked plenty of virgins. i think i am too traumatizing for a first sexual experience. well i know i am and was. nevermind.
raymihonky says:
i rule for fucking virgins. i thrive on other people’s virginities. hahaha.
tony says:
virgins are too clingy. i just wanted to kiss her
raymihonky says:
well u know what i mean, people are lead to believe that i am a fuckmachine
tony says:
nah
raymihonky says:
well it’s true i am just on vacation right now
tony says:
nudity doesnt equal sex
raymihonky says:
i just registered istoleyourshit.com and zerolibido.com
tony says:
do you have 100% safe sex?
raymihonky says:
nope
raymihonky says:
im busy now
raymihonky says:
bye
tony says:
damn
raymihonky says:
one sec
tony says:
please only have safe sex
raymihonky says:
im back
raymihonky says:
yeh the partners i choose are safe
raymihonky says:
fuck you tony!!!! u brought this shit up last time too. you have no right to talk to me about this mister “i bang more, it’s hard to kiss and tell bla bla aatraa laa.”
raymihonky says:
i told u i have never had any fucking sex disease(s).
raymihonky says:
you make me so fucking mad sometimes hd fpoidhf;ds.
raymihonky says:
you and your arrrrmy [and every other fucking person who talks to me].
tony says:
dont be mad. be happy.
tony says:
i care about you
tony says:
im not saying you’re dirty or your partners
tony says:
but if one of their partners is, then everything gets fucked up
raymihonky says:
i know this
raymihonky says:
shut up i get it thanks.
raymihonky says:
tell me something i actually do not know
tony says:
and what if i fell in love with you
raymihonky says:
like fuck
raymihonky says:
so what
tony says:
and wanted to go down on you?
raymihonky says:
take a number
raymihonky says:
in the event of that happening i’d tell you what you needed to know
raymihonky says:
relax it’s a turnoff
raymihonky says:
anyway
raymihonky says:
im trying to be less of a vulgarian [baby steps]
raymihonky says:
im so mean right now and i threaten everybody and everyone thinks it’s all against them. i mean. everyone is getting shit on right now.
tony says:
dont be mean to me
tony says:
im your #3 fan
raymihonky says:
im not being mean to you
raymihonky says:
number 3 ?
raymihonky says:
yeh i doubt it
raymihonky says:
you’d give me more special privileges and linkages to yer crapblog if you were #3
tony says:
i dont link anyone more than you
raymihonky says:
i dont spend much time linking others either
raymihonky says:
ill have a special page eventually we’ll see
raymihonky says:
i have lots of plans that dont ever come to seed
raymihonky says:
maybe 1/3 of what i say will come true
tony says:
i told those ward boys to take “slut” off your name
raymihonky says:
im an opportunist
tony says:
they did
raymihonky says:
but not deceptive
raymihonky says:
like u and yer help me buy a car thing
raymihonky says:
those guys are suckers id never send u a penny for that. u have to earn people’s money
tony says:
im not deceptive!
tony says:
im telling them exactly what it is
raymihonky says:
i hate/love those ward guys, another example of pathetic inferiority complexes and bitter blog rivals who dont deserve my or anyone else’s time
raymihonky says:
their shit is funny but pretty boring. if i dont visit a site then it is basically, pretty fucking lame
raymihonky says:
i know. i didn’t mean u were deceptive.
raymihonky says:
i meant like, whatever
raymihonky says:
its obvious what i meant. go re-read
raymihonky says:
im so glad i bought a pipe
raymihonky says:
i walk around smoking it all day like a hot junky
raymihonky says:
i hope i dont get arrested
raymihonky says:
for a. stealing
raymihonky says:
b. drugs
raymihonky says:
im like the cooler unfamouser version of wynona (winona? she obviously isnt so important if i cant even remember how to spell her name. eff to those free winona shirts. bleeeh. tho i saw a cool ad for her in vanity fair where she is all manic and holding up a bunch of newly purchased items and her hair is all frazzled and im like, woah i identify with her so much right now. fullstop.)
tony says:
you stole the pipe?
raymihonky says:
no i bought it
totally separate and way cool msn conversation with this dude who i know in toronto
I Used To Drink From The Bottle, Now The Bottle Drinks From Me says:
ok
I Used To Drink From The Bottle, Now The Bottle Drinks From Me says:
is that better ?
raymihonky says:
just put ewan as your name so i know it’s you
raymihonky says:
i dont have time to scroll down and figure out who the fuck it is
raymihonky says:
just kuz msn gives u the freedom to make up a shitty name for yourself doesnt mean u should spend five hours everyday changing it around.
raymihonky says:
that is all.
raymihonky says:
eff bill gates. pfffft.
Ewan says:
hahahha you are like me
Ewan says:
ok
Ewan says:
enough
Ewan says:
talk later
Ewan says:
peace
raymihonky says:
no im not like you
Ewan says:
well
raymihonky says:
i could learn you a thing or two
Ewan says:
you are a newer model
raymihonky says:
haha
Ewan says:
so there are bound to be upgrades
raymihonky says:
you’re old as dust and bitter about it
raymihonky says:
another reason why everyone hates me so much. i talk too much shit.
Ewan says:
shit talking is one of lifes few real pleasures
raymihonky says:
yeh
raymihonky says:
im putting some of our msn conversation up on my blog
raymihonky says:
nothing to make u look too bad. [pffft.] dont worry.
raymihonky says:
now shut up and let me work
Ewan says:
ok
Ewan says:
deal
raymihonky says:
good. i’ll pst the to be continued version tomorrow. bye.
March 22, 2003
youlovethatshit.com thinks i’m just a cokehead. but they love me so it’s ok. they pointed out that i get shit on a lot and it’s true.
tengallonhat is a total babe.
my ex crazy roomate who i did not invite to my party calls up one friend of mine and the blond girl and invites them and doesnt invite me just to stick it to me although i had already invited her to my upcoming superduper birthday party. i only wanted to go to get the ten million dollars she owes me.
Crazzzzzy bitch.
March 20, 2003
make sure you come to this event and wish me a happy birthday and squeeze le blond girl’s nubbies or something because we’ll be very there and very naked and it’s going to rule and yah, cool things will happen. will definitely tell you more about it later. yep. bye.
you should steal ashtrays and cups and plates and try the mexican pizza from pizza pizza and get the free pops and then you should try all the pops all the drinks the flavours and say things like, “i am making money mart soooo popular.” and you should let your jerkoff friends hide your left shoe behind the radiator so when you have to leave several hours later you can’t find it and lose your mind trying to find it in their fucking livingroom while they are all asleep or gonedoff home. i’ve also figured out how to get any item from the mcdonalds drive-thru menu for a little bit cheaper if you supersize a few things, don’t order a pop for one of the combos and then change something into a milkshake or order something extra and maybe take something away after that. i swear it works out. eventually. driving with the sun in your eyes is also pretty nice. me threatening roommates about who gets to keep the kingsize mattress has been a two day theme in these parts. take a number.
we agreed that im pretty much, well, retired. it’s kinda funny.
i try not to dip too much into my pension plan.
thank you irsktnniii for telling us to watch Slashers. it. was. so good. you got so much more totally awesome awesome points for that move. i really wish i wrote down that quote the first time i said it.
parkdalemassive said, “yeh i fouled her up.” or something and it was great. totally separate quote and has nothing to do with me or the previous quote though i wish i said it first because i fouled her up is the new i felt her up line. yeh. it’s like you got her all drrty and stuff. yah.
another thing is i laughed 4 seconds after everyone else laughed and went quiet at the kid koala thing and it was kinda sexy and brutal and uncomfortable because maybe at least 15 people made a point to turn and look to see who exactly the sexy beast was who made the sexy growl giggle fucked laugh. ask parkdalemiddleton because he was right there and it made him laugh right away. then i dropped my bag on the floor and screamed, “WHUd’ja DO!?” to this dude who had arm braces and crutches and i made him feel like the accident was his fault but it wasnt and then turns out hes all handicapped and stuff and made then it was extra funny kuz we both sorta made the bag fall down but in the end…fucking whatever i cant even finish off how it happened. i was trying to do what chris farley did to david spade in tommy boy with the car door busting off and well, the only two people who found it sort of funny tonite/last nite 8ish hours ago was/were p.dalemiddleton and i and we decided to leave the room right away after it so, there you go. it was worth mentioning.
the crutch guy kinda liked it afterall and got the whole joke . im thinking. hoping. but no longer care.
who wants to be on the canadian matchmaker show? email me within the next two weeks. u can be the datee or the dater or the stupid fat bitch friend who sits in the limo and badmouths your friend on the date. maybe that’s who i should be on the show. who wants to be my fake date? fuuuck. i should just auction myself off and get it over with. who has ten million dollars?
ill settle for 500,000 even.
ps my shoe is even more funny and warped now from the radiator-stuffing.
March 19, 2003
i. am. so. effing. swamped. and. manic. right. now. these. days. everyone. is. mad. at me. or not i still think they are had a jeet kun do (sp? i forget already) class finally now i can kick the crap out of everyone theres a wanted man who hangs out in parkdale i think i may have seen him before i saw the poooolice putting up poooosters and now im late fo the kid koala book launch exclusive media spy cam documentary shit with parkdalemiddleton urrrrrg. more later re read the last post privy to this post i edited it again for the twelfth time along with other shit. im sure u’ve missed a thing or two. read me when your drunk or crying. i might make more sense.
burgle mew mew.
March 18, 2003
fuck you poetry
Pauly shore and adam sandler have never written me back.
I want to fuck johnny knoxville, edward norton, and that john meyer guy.
Justin timberlake too.
OH and that stevo 32 dude from sum41. Him maybe the most right now.
Can you help me do these things?
It�s quite important.
Oh redman too.
And *******.
I fucked *******.
I fucked ******** and I ran away to nyc and fucked ******** and fell in love with the spy and broke *******�s heart or made him feel used.
I�m an asshole.
I have bedded many many a many.
I have no std�s and no aids.
This is good.
Pamela andersen gives hepatitis C a bad name.
And im not being mean.
She should be a spokesperson for something else.
I think she is bubbly.
I don�t like saying negative mean things.
I just make observations.
It�s a curse and probably the number one reason why people hate me so much.
Bad press is still good press.
Yo, cut it.
people think certain things about me but actually if yer a quick one you know that really i am just not that. unnng. bye.
i wish i actually paid attention to the words in VICE magazine when they told us about the best coke jams because now i am lost and always playing the wrong thing and changing it then changing it again to something else that is also wrong and unpleasant to my sensitive nerves and ears and patience. anyhow, please sned me lists of the best tunes to snuff snaff to. thanks.
fucking hell this is terrible. this day. too much. sorry everyone. sorry bar for ok goodbye april fools is helping me half out at the moment. wuuuuht. har har haaa. no more interventions please dears.
pfffft.
March 17, 2003
so everyone’s pretty fucking pissed at me. coolhandluke. yep. very. he went away and came back to an even more trashed (in the most rock of fucking rollin’ way possible though. YES!!!) apartment ever. whatever. contractors came by and tore shit up and they’ve been doing it for months and i really dont care anymore about anything concerning that house, the landlord, the crazy girl who moved out who i also just realised was the cause of the heat not working (flipped the fucking switch and told no one) urrrg, email hackingness, other crazy bitch happenings….more-over? that house rules and sucks and is the shittiest burden in my life on top of other shitty burdens and im pretty fucking fed up with people not getting it. me. my life. my house. my everything having to do with how psychotic i am these days. anyhow, it’s too much. much too much and my own indifference is what’s getting everyone so angry. even parkdalemassive can’t handle the raymi so much as before.
this website contributes to my own neurosis and micro-celebrity mentality and mania and obsessive compulsivity and it seems like sometimes nobody fucking believes one goddamn word i have to say.
back to coolhandluke. we had a screaming match on our cellphones and i was cramming a lock and cream cheese sammich into my face while he yelled at me saying, “and nine-eleven, whatthefuck did YOU know anybody who died?!?!? bla blargh blahh you think YOU were affected?!?” i didn’t really get why he was bringing that up. i dont throw 9/11 in other people’s faces, i mean, i talk about it and shit ’cause i have some photos but jesus, i talk about a lot of stuff, that shit has nothing to do with what i am doing everyday right now? i think coolhandluke secretly hates me and thinks im a joke and wanted to scream that at me several months ago and now that i am a homewrecker and he’s angry at me for these recent trash happenings…the floodgates are opened. im not mad at him. i understand that he’s pissed but really, i dont have the capacity to care anymore about these kind of things and i know it’s callous and mean – look, there’s a reason for everything and people are tired of hearing my reasons. fine. just stop calling me and screaming at me because now is not the time. i’m sorry there are two week old wine stains on your walls but what about the stains on my brand new maroon futon sheet that to date still has never been washed and yah there were a couple stains to begin with but you certainly added ten trillion more. and all the shit that got stolen when that chick moved out and the trashed backyard and all the things that are trashed that i have to walk thru all the time that i was never the cause of? and the almost 400 dollar phone bill that never gets paid and yes i owe part of it but no one ever seems to be available to pay them before they turn into 400 phone bills?this goes both ways coolhandluke. dont provoke me like this ever again. im being an asshole now. sorry sorry. but still. im getting shit on here just as much as you and if you have a problem with it why not address it three months ago?
i’m at my wit’s end, basically. you won’t even need our fucking loser of a landlord ever for a reference. i moved in there from le burbs and no one asked me shit. he’s shady, unreliable, unresponsible, daft and never takes my side on anything so you can all go blow for all i care. blame it all on me. that house is a piece of shit anyway. ill track mud thru the hallways all i want. the point is, hmm. we should talk later. this wasnt suppose to be a dear lucasaids letter. i love you anyway. bye
March 16, 2003
unngh man too much these days. had a jerkoff party last nite and everything was grafitti tagged. (pictures to come toomorrow). peoples from my hometown showed up via the blond girl, some dude’s older brother from the past who i sweated, fucked ‘n chucked me. he’s still a hot stoner nobody who coulda been a somebody and actually wa a pro snowboarder ski something who really cares he didnt take me seriously. i was leaving for oxford ‘n london and my five one nite stands. we banged a year later. i had shorter hair. it went nowhere. i was doing others also. it waslame suburban inlimbo finish highschool sorta thing. then went to nyc after graduating highschool. anyway, the party last nite was so cool. i think we’ll be evicted mebbe. so, it’ll look better than how we let coolhandluke show it to those folks wanting celebrityhouse 2003. this post is much like my brains and my life right now. i cant even finish that last thought, i cant respond to email i am constantly inebriated ( innebriated??) and taking photo after photo and i am at the loft and also at the ghetto party slutfuck house. you gotta stop by soon. also to a secret location in kensington market being set up by shekie (aka parkdalemassive and yes creator of that dumb comic Doomhauled) or something or other i need to get some breakdancers on board for saturday/sunday jams with dirtbag raymi karaoke and other shit goin’ down. store’s called THE MAD SCIENTIST. someone should make it a website. eff the internet. im sitting in a room with 2.5 ex boyfriends right now. go to 225 augusta in the market, below baldwin. im there once n awhile pissing people off, not being paid, making long distance conference calls to la and new york trying to use the computers to update my blog and doing shit on my cellfone. unngh. so sometime soon im having another party for maybe my birthday lotsa sex and ex teachers and 40’s of oe, bad feelings all around, incestuous jealousy traps. i made friends with the autistic paperboy. i like him. i waved to him and he waved back and i watched him walk by three times with his flyers and i talked to the woman about getting more minutes and internet at 150 kilabytes daily into the shitty phone that receives no signal in my house so i sat by the window and saw that boy dragging his cart up and down the street and i took some pictures of the neighbourhood and my room and smoked several joints and waited for people to show up and do stuff for my party. i was a wreck. let me tell you. well, anyway, more people are requiring my attention at the moment. goodnite all.
