me naked boring. blerp. get ready for mass-emailification of these shitty flyers. buoys ‘n ghulls.
and newer stuff at rocketpack.org and
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first one to get me a copy of today’s national post or the link to the article that liz clayton wrote and mentioned me in, i’ll mail you some weed. or you can hang out with me sometimes and i’ll give you coolness lessons. i have some free time.
today it is very windy. i just got up kinda. i am pretty hungry. the fags want me to go over to parkdalemiddleton’s place to hang with him and parkdalemassive. but i dunno. i have to eat first and check email and put together ikea furniture and then go to my other apt. and take everthing out of the cupboards and throw it away because a contractor is comin’ around to make it look better. by the way if you are wanting a nice three room + kitchen + laundry room + parking space + backyard, raspberry bush whatever house/apt. in toronto, l’il italy, going for $1380/month utilities included, we’re movin’ out march 1st. that’s $460/month if you and two others live together. so someone can live in raymi’s old apt. celebrity house 2003! email me.
um, i can’t be bothered to add words at the moment.
bye.
blogger sucks and these two posts bled into one another and it can’t be fixed. urrrg. so i was going to say u can go to sexwithsmartpeople to see new shit up later on today. bye.
yay. i made the best ever garage sale/ shitty ebay store ever!!! go look at it right fucking now!!!
disgusting raymi wallpaper. ha haa.
please mass-email this flyer i made. oh and post it on yer blogs and stuff. it’s worth it.
i looooove jamie and i loooove anti and at the same time all the time and they are all miiine and iiii discovered them so fuck you everyone else. YES!
im putting these in every once ‘n awhile. i added that other one early today. friday? no, yesterday. my highest day of hits was 1,358. wuhoo. thanks porno link people. right. ive been reading lots of trash-talk about me, always. about kerouac coke vice pussy etc etc. tho i do get a lot of good nice things said once ‘n awhile. yes. ye’all shall profit. i am going to get moby to be my friend. he has panic attacks like me and he is smart and i want to sing for his muu-zic. i’ll settle for that steveo32 sum 41 kiddo. anyday. wuhhhoo. ok.
Raymi�s guide to getting fucked.
Ladies first,
Be sassy.
Be saucy.
Be from somewhere else.
Have a vagina.
Wear your fucking stilettos.
Chew your fucking gum and snap it just once.
Guys are fucking easy.
Make sure all his friends see you looking hot, saying fancy shit, and they tell him all the time that the very second he drops you, they�re gonna grab you around the waist and tap that mutha�fuckin� ass.
Tell him to fuck off once in awhile.
Buy him something he needs.
Remember all the things he forgets and make yourself useful. (Also part of Raymi�s guide to getting fucked and sticking around for more than a week.)
Fix something of his.
Get him a hot sweater. Tell him to grow his facial hair and then all the other bitches start commenting on how hot he looks, he will then realize you can be his meal ticket to other ladies, but be cautious, you can�t let him get too confident for various and obvious reasons.
Figure out how to break/wear him down.
Cradle his head in your arms once in awhile.
Rise before him and accomplish all of your tasks.
Stand near him and pretend to pick something up (so obvious and cheesy, I realize) and let him get a whiff of your hair or neck or whatever smells hottest on your bitch and moaning body.
Try and meet his dad. Dad�s have great hotness detectors and are sure to egg him on as well as hit on you mercilessly right in front of your man�s face, thus causing father/son rivalry and making your job a hell of a lot easier.
Meeting moms and dazzling them can be hard but if you pull it off the outcome is more than beneficial. If his mum digs you, well fuck, he may as well buy you a fucking Mercedes because he�ll be banging you �til the cows come home.
Knowing how to suck dick is always a good skill.
Slip the fact that you think he has a monster cock or a porno dick into every conversation as often as you can.
If it gets to a certain point in where he begins to tire of you, and your tricks are no longer effective, you might wanna try hanging around all those hot guys you�ve been neglecting for the past two months. He�ll get the point.
Unless he is a fucking loser.
And remember, if he doesn�t want you, there�s three thousand more who do.
And now, onto the fellas.
If a bitch, stares you up and down in a bar more than once, this means you have caught her attention and you are therefore allowed to walk over and strike up a conversation with her.
If she is not looking at you this does not mean you are fat and ugly and stupid, it might be that she has yet to notice you. If this is the case and you want her to see you, stand in front of her.
Idiot.
Ok so lets say she has looked at you a few times and has not grimaced or rolled her eyes, whatever, you have like twenty minutes to get over there before her friends snatch her away or some other dude gets there first and spends an hour cock-blocking you. She might even change her mind, who knows, just get over there post haste.
Now say something.
She�ll know within thirty seconds whether she is going to fuck you, unfortunately you probably won�t be privy to this information until later so keep trying.
Now you have two options for two possible �getting fucked� outcomes.
A. If you want to get fucked and chucked, then be your normal dirtbag, unstable self. Women are more likely to fuck you and bail if you are not boyfriend/marriage material. It is in a woman�s common nature to seek out a partner or male-provider, safe, boring, home/family type-guy. How lame.
Anyway, the more of a fucking retard you are the better your chances of getting laid. But you have to play your retard charm card wisely. If you lay it on too thick she�ll be ultimately repulsed and reject the shit out of you.
If you do it right, you get fucked.
It�s not rocket science.
Don�t hit on chicks who are obviously not right for you or the ones who give off �I hate men� vibes. You are fighting a losing battle.
Chicks are clever and can smell a dirty dog, ten fucking miles away.
Ok.
B. If you are wanting to get fucked and build some sort of boring relationship out of it, first of all, don�t go to a bar to pick up chicks, unless you�re looking for Dan�s mom or the most desperate of desperate girls.
Gross.
So yeh. Go to a suitable location to attain the appropriate woman.
Want a librarian? Go to a library.
And so on.
And while present in these locations, act accordingly. Read the girl. Do a little research. Don�t be that regular dude who says regular things. Be her friend for a little bit. Study what she studies. Meet her needs.
Soon enough you�ll be choosing drapes and buying cutlery from Dean & Deluca.
You fucking twat.
minx ( P ) Pronunciation Key (mngks)
n.1. A girl or young woman who is considered pert, flirtatious, or impudent.
2. Obsolete. A promiscuous woman.n : a seductive woman who uses her sex appeal to exploit men [syn: coquette, flirt, vamp, vamper, tease, prickteaser]
also
The true definition of a minx is a playful wench, a hoydenfound @ http://home.xnet.com/~countzi/minxbiog.html
i always wanted to be a spy like matt damon.
today my project is to take pictures of all the shit i’m going to sell you’s guys.
for
1. the shitty ebay blog
2. raymi’s garage sale
i gots, lite brite, vintage playboys from the 60’s, original slinky from the beginning of time, some clothes and panties (drrty? sure. why not.), raymi merch., crappy art, uhh furniture, everything. i’ll host yer junk too. i’ll do the tracking/selling. i get a percentage. u take care of yer own ship./handling. and then there’s more. u can bid on stuff or u can barter. i swear. it’s great. and then on my new site, $1 – $5 galleries and $5 video halls.
won’t that be special.
and enough of this raymi sucks bullshit. relax. and someone please tell me who linked my small town slut article, the one that lead u hear. im too fat and lazy to wait a few days for google to get its shit together.
and if you didn’t get a chance to check ithinkmanic yesterday, you definitely should to-fucking-day.
adieu.
what the hell does this mean?
download me saying something dumb.
gossip about raymi’s stds art show a dude she fucked who is famous and other artshow plans.
i’ve added so much shit to ithinkmanic i think i will puke now.
boring fucking controversy penis
i don’t fucking need noboday. durnit. no nuthin’ fuck yah. porn pron porny mcpoooooooorno porn porn PORN! just wait. well nothing. yeh.
raymi’s picks for the rest of this shitty week:
bill and ted effin’ rule.
I am infinity  You may worship me, but from afar _ |
this quiz by orsa
