Category Archives: Uncategorized
i wish i was batshit crazy i mean i wish that at the next zine art selling thing i do i can stand there screaming about the stuff on my table like the dudes selling fish in kensington market or the guy selling vegetables in st. lawrence and compete with other shy nerds selling stuff that is eons better than my dinky creations
HAYAHAHYAHAYAHA CYUM HERE PREEETY LADY BUY THIS BEAUTIFUL FELTED GUN HOLDER FOR IRONIC PURPOSES IT TOOK ME 30 HOURS TO MAKE I AM SELLING IT FOR 40 DOLLARS THO YOU COULD MAKE A BETTER ONE YOURSELF THO I AM RAYMI AND YOU ARE NOT PLEASE BUY THESE MITTENS I WORE IN GRADE 8 HUMANAHUMANAHUMANA HUH HEY LOOK AT THIS DRAWING OF A DINOSAUR WHAT LOOKS LIKE A TURNTABLE YOU WILL WONDER HOW YOU EVER SURVIVED WITHOUT IT. I HAVE A BLOG I HAVE A BLOG I HAVE BLOG I LIVE ON A LOG LOOK AT MY SHIRT DO YOU WANT IT 20 BUCKS 15 BUCKS HERE IS A POEM I PRINTED OUT 30 COPIES GET ONE NOW BEFORE I RUN OUT I WILL READ MY POEM
THERE WAS A BOY FROM OUTERSPACE
HE HAD A NICE FACE
A NICE FACE
THERE WAS A CAT NAMED MEOW
WHEN MEOW MEOWED HE MEOWED A LOT
MY BEST FRIEND’S BROTHER IS SUPER HOT
etc
please be my friend
these cramps just won’t go away.
we met up with samir at the beac last nite for chipotle macaroni and radmad showed up too and we met joe, samir’s mechanic friend. the guy who was in the major maker video with me works at the beac. he was not wearing glasses.
can you tell i haven’t had an espresso yet?
fil and i had a lunchdate at st. lawrence market today i only ate half of my peameal bacon sandwich it wasn’t all that good, more like a fat tasteless sandwich with condiments on it. st. lawrence market is just a cafeteria for yuppies. when we got up from our table these four suits come over and all take turns thanking us for leaving the table after we were done eating like what yes we are done eating but NO you can’t sit there until you thank me some more first!?
i said the only reason they thanked us was cos i was there fil disagreed and said it was cos he was there in his work/prison clothes, cos he’s a fellow suit to them so like if i had been alone there would have been zero thanks. what do you think? i know this is VERY important i might even make a poll for it.
i think they thanked us cos they wanted to show how polite they could be to me cos they all wanted to fuck me. anyway. i get what fil is saying but still i was dressed pretty cute and casual compared to everyone else and by taking turns thanking me they are hoping that i will understand that they have lives outside of work or that i could be their girlfriend instead of fil’s? i dunno all baystreeters are pretty much scum and would fuck around on their wives in a heartbeat so whatever.
so more people think oprah is a rug muncher than people who don’t and just under the amount of people who think she isn’t gay think it’s a MAYBE.
my skin is too pale to pull off wearing a black ball piercing but i am doing it anyway, half of people get it the other half stare from a mile away thinking MOLE MOLE MOLE in their heads.
in grade 8 my brother got suspended for a couple days along with some friends for singing WE CUM WE CUM WE CUM ON YOUR TABLE instead of WE COME TO YOUR TABLE during confirmation mass practising.
we were sent to catholic school cos my parents figured catholic education would be better but turns out you have one teacher who teaches you everything and you know it’s impossible to be sufficiently skilled in all subject areas and if you are then you certianly aren’t an elementary school teacher anyway, the only one-up i believe i have out of religious school is a knowledge of religion. that’s it and it hasn’t exactly come in handy. like hey lady thou shalt not covet my bicycle fuck off! no?
i had friends who went to public school and for the most part were pretty ignorant and now are all bigoted fag haters.
my family is/was not religious at all but sent us there anyway. so here i am with italians and portugeuse and polish, serbs, croat kids, everyone hugely catholic and i know shit all about it. we didn’t even have a bible.
i wonder how my parents woulda felt if i came out of it insanely catholic, holding youth group in our livingroom and all that shit. i guess they were confident enough in my skeptical smartass abilities to fully thwart it and my brother well he’d be fine. one year i lasted in catholic highschool.
anyway, my kids will not be going to a religious school.
i remember during grade 6 science my teacher was very uncomfortable talking about darwin and evolution and threw around the word THEORY a LOT. she would cut us off when we would try and say that heaven was just a theory too and not fact. total religiousnazi that one. anyhow bring on the lightning.
oh and cos of my eleven years of religious exposure and how i’m now all NOT about it christians, catholics etc can shut up with the well you have to learn a little bit about it first before you deny it. cos i did. eleven years. the end. and don’t even try with the well that was catholocism not christianity and no there is not a difference it is exactly the same shit except christianity is crazier, cuckoo and way out of its mind. speaking in tongues? come the fuck on.
look at all the people not lining up to buy fruit and yes fil is one of them. this mcdonald’s line-up seriously was 40 strong.
because i wrote an article about pussy farting ever since i receive emails DAILY along the lines of this:
Hello. I just read your article on “pussy farts” – and I have to tell you… my wife does that when she is really cumming hard – and it is awesome. It happens when I am on top – alternating big, long thrusts with grinding moves. When is starting to cum, she’ll press against me very hard and push out her pussy – then when the queef happens she is really into her orgasm – and the air I feel around my cock is pretty neat. I love it when she queefs because I know she is feeling great! Thanks for writing about this!
dear everyone: I DON’T FUCKING CARE IF YOU CAN MAKE YOUR WIFE QUEEF DO YOU WANT ME TO CLAP YOU ON THE BACK OR RETRACT MY PIECE AND ADD IN YOUR DISGUSTING DETAILS?! FUCK OFF.
