someone put fat on my body so i can’t do the buttons up anymore. it is size 36 XS. i bought it from an army surplus store on yonge street in toronto when i was 15 for maybe 60 bucks and i sewed those patches on so it’s perfect if you are a racialist cos i sewed WHITE on it but not cos i’m a racialist or anything it’s because white is my last name see and i also sewed the cavalry patches on the shoulder/sleeves which may or may not be upside down but alack there you have my super determined amazing fifteen year old sewing skills AND my last name. you can have this beauty for 60 dollars w/ shipping&handling. natch. it’s perfect if you are a slight of build emo hipster boy or girl it makes your waist look tiny yay. it’s in perfect condition and if you wanted to get one today from a store would cost close to a hundred bucks yo. so yeah tell me if you want it.
to get you into the spooky halloween mood i will tell you a scary dream i had i call it:
fil’s dad get out of my dreams and into my car
i will keep it short cos i know reading people’s dreams is totally boring so here is my dream in POINT FORM
-i was forced to go to scarborough with a bunch of guys and we had a gun with us for sale i don’t know why it took three cars full of people to bring 1 gun
-then i flipped out on one of the guys in a bordello style family restaurant like LONESTAR or something and they all ditched me
-they ditched me with a stickshift delorean (which was white) and i was trying to drive it back to oakville but i didn’t know any of the streets and i was terribly embarrassed cos i was driving into guardrails and shit so i pulled into this stripjoint plaza and ran into one of the strip clubs and i was bawling and all the strippers came out and were very nice and they were gonna get this one big gay guy i guess is their den mother to drive me home but then i started working there for some reason
-oh yeah i left the delorean half parked on a fountain/art sculpture in the middle of some square haha
-later on i decide to call fil for help and he is not answering the fone. i tried him maybe three times and then the fourth call his dad had changed his voicemail to his voice telling me that i am harassing fil and him too and that they were scared and would call the police if i called again
-then i was all panicky and sad and i woke up
i don’t know why i didn’t just take the fucking subway back yeesh.
me: there is no space in delorean
Phil: read the wiki article, especially down near the end and it talks about the variations
me: oh well im just putting it altogether google corrected me “did you mean delorean” i hate how google is so condescending like that i am like DID YOU MEAN I WILL KILL YOU?!
Phil: did you mean GO FUCK YOURSELF what are you that stupid windows paper clip?
i like that itunes went out of its way to call shuffle not shuffle but party shuffle so i can feel like there are people hanging out behind me drinking harvey wallbangers and i’m not just sitting alone here eating a tomato with a fork.
***Update i have also been sitting here picking my ear in a daze for the last five minutes.
i just had an idea sort of like a game you can say no or not do it if you want here it is: you guys in toronto or wherever you are should stalk each other and take photos on the street of the person you are “stalking” and post them at stalkraymi along with the person’s blog (as in you have been following their life for awhile via blogworld and are stepping it up) OR just stalk a nobody and post pictures at stalkraymi i dunno just an activity.
like the lady who you see at the donut shop and you can write little anecdotes about her like today she wore reebok’s and had a large double double. and yes i know missed connections already exists but this is could be another level of that which rules cos it 1. goes nowhere and 2. is completely pointless and 3. creepy
i’m already somewhat lazily stalking the guy who i kicked after he punched me well it’s more coincidental that i see him more. i saw him the other day eating toast at burger king nodding his head a lot and trying to find messages in his newspaper i was going to take a picture but i didn’t want to interrupt his crazy.
as motivation, the first person to offer up some photos to kick off this project will get a portrait drawn of them or something else on canvas.
i also refuse to take any and all responsibility for the possible jailings that may come of this game.
ok two nites in a row now that carving pumpkins didn’t happen to me! we went to loblaws and they had two huge busted-face looking pumpkins — neither pumpkin jong il appropriate at all, so tonite is the nite and that’s that.
we watched souvenir of canada and it didn’t make me grin like a bastard like the back of the dvd said it would. mostly it had me going I DIDN’T KNOW HE SOUNDED THAT FAGGY, HUH. anyway it was pretty decent and had funny moments and parts that made your heart tinkle and then me and fil fought over where on the east coast we would go visit cos neither of us have ever been so if there are any COOL PEOPLE over there please plan us a trip and tell us which province to go to oh and give us your house too.
later on we were watching comedy channel for a nitecap and i brought up how fil credited ME with getting him watching it and he FULLY DENIED IT even though he’s said it before a few times and even wrote it in his blog but he still denied it and turned over so i said FUCK THIS, got up in my underwear and turned on my laptop and searched his archives in the dark by doing ctrl f “comedy” and i found nothing. though i didn’t go through all his archives entirely.
then when he fell asleep i nuked butter chicken and passed out cos…
