rented miami vice last nite and it’s good if you somehow possess a magical instrument that enunciates everything everyone in that fucking movie is saying and screams it out for you OH MY GOD this movie almost made fil and i break up

me: what?!

fil: i dunno

me: TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON WHAT DID HE SAY?!

FIL: i DONT FUCKING KNOW

me: OK GREAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON

FIL: AM I SOMEHOW ABLE TO HEAR WHAT THEY ARE SAYING BETTER THAN YOU?!

and so on.

i mean, is it too much to ask of the actors to enunciate and speak without their hands covering their mouths or to NOT look away into the wind and say a long fucking monologue WHY can i hear everything you are saying on that high-powered speedboat but when you are sitting in a room with no other sounds, nothing else going on I CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING YOU SAY!!!?

yea yeah that’s great miami vice homage and all but i’m sorry that fucking hair colin farrell is sporting is absolutely disgusting and why are his eyebrows two different sizes?

also, in the beginning of the movie this one prostitute gets all punched up but they can’t do anything about it cos some other crap is going down and they are like DON’T WORRY THEIR DAY WILL COME IT’S SO AND SO’S LUCKY DAY um more like so and so’s fucking YEAR cos unless i am retarded, i don’t recall the vice squad re-visitting that case they were initially working on and so i’m all pissed off and on-edge about this chick getting roughed up but think it’s ok cos that guys gonna get it, but he doesn’t, the end.

you see some tits and ass and will pretty much want to move to havana after seeing this.

ok turns out you are not suppose to use those badges on your blogs if you aren’t a finalist, oops. you can use THESE ONES! DO IT! THANK YOU!

raymi shwag!

HAHA

ok. now i know what i will be portraiting next, thanks lady.

these are from last st. patrick’s day

THIS is why i should win best diarist.

here are some things that people say that make me want to shove them down some stairs:

1. when there is something in my eye and i am poking at it to alleviate the pain or get it out of there i say THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY EYE and then some douchefuck says YEAH, IT’S YOUR FINGER.

duuuuuuude, wrong. thing. to. say.

i am in obvious discomfort and then you have the nerve to say the gayest most time-wasting thing EVER to me and you’re trying to be funny about it too even? nice going, FRIENDSHIP FUCKING FINISHED stick that in your eye.

2. when i ask fil to take my boots off (of me) he says BUT I’M NOT WEARING YOUR BOOTS and this happens almost every nite so i am forced to re-word my request and then i flub it up please take the boots i am wearing off of me but this is too wordy to say when you are wasted and tired omg i hate fil sometimes.

i can’t remember the other things at the moment but i of course will let you know as they come back to me.

merkley???: you are totally gonna win
thanks entirely to me
and my amazing campaign management

me: do u know how many people are taking credit
um how about i win cos i write the blog that all you fucks are reading

merkley???: but i’m the only one who is right
i dont read your blog

me: how many people go to your blog

merkley???: i skim

me: yeah right

merkley???: 10k per day on my flickr
BEAT THAT!

me: yeah blog
BLOG
not flickr

merkley???: how many visit your flickr?
oh maybe 2
3 people

me: dude it is not a flickr awards contest

merkley???: anyway
you can just thank me instead of being a boner
I MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE

me: i blogged before i even knew about you and then once i knew about you i hated you cos you were a dick

merkley???: liar

me: NO ONE GETS MY HUMOUR ON THE INTERNET WAAAAH
thats you
well you remember u said something and i took it totally seriously

merkley???: yeah what was with that shit

me: well it was likely during a time when i didnt moderate and so everyone was flaming me cos they are pathetic fucks

merkley???: you were tony peircing out

me: so everyone who said something even remotely negative i flew off the handle over it

merkley???: you never said anything to me

me: someone today said my stomache was larger than life and i should stop eating boogers

merkley???: ha ha
thats kinda funny

me: wtf no it isnt it’s the way i am standing in the mirror

merkley???: oh

me: um no its not it ruined my day u fuck

merkley???: well
out of context its a funny comment
but yeah

me: anyway the point is people daily need to say something to bring me down

merkley???: i hate that when commenters are purposely trying to piss on your party
i get that once a week on flickr

me: yeah like wake up watch tv say something mean to raymi go to work etc etc

merkley???: some jealous photographer that cant deal with all the positive coments

me: we are talking about me right now merkley

merkley???: “Do it for the victims of Hurrican Katrina.”
ha ha
funny comment
dude you look hot
shut up

me: ok
yeah i was going to do a post about all the charities that would benefit from my weblogs victory
but i dont know any
cos i am selfish
i am basically my own charity

merkley???: so are you aids or breast cancer or an orphanage?
pick one

me: runaway teens i am

merkley???: addicted to robitussin
gluesniffer relief dot org
here’s you:
for every vote i receive i will sniff a huff of glue for a runaway

me: i am the families affected by jonestown society
ha

BRIBE TIME!

if you put one of those weblog awards badges on your blog and leave me a comment telling me you did i will link you all in a post you also have to say VOTE FOR RAYMI’S BLOG duh. change the url so it goes directly to the voting page. here is the link for the page where the buttons are if you want to choose your own size.

this is the direct link to the best diarist voting box.

link to that shit on your blog, say something nice and convincing about me, let me know you did it and i will put yer name in a post. cinch.

**IF YOU ARE GOING TO POST A BADGE YOU NEED TO CHANGE THE URL TO THE DIRECT ONE WHICH IS THIS:

http://2006.weblogawards.org/2006/12/best_diarist.php

COPY AND PASTE IT IN LIEU OF THE 2006.weblogawards.org url GET IT?

DEAR DIARY

THIS IS A DRAWING OF ALL THE THINGS I AM FANTASIZING ABOUT EATING RIGHT NOW COS WE NEVER SEEM TO HAVE FOOD IN THE CONDO ON SUNDAYS AND I AM LOSING MY MIND BECAUSE OF IT.

LOVE RAYMI

please stop saying shit like COULDN’T BE BOTHERED TO VOTE FOR YOU just go vote you come here everyday you read for free just fucking vote for me stop being a dick you find the time to go online and check yer regular sites help pass the torch to me i am the only canadian in this category DO IT FOR CANADA come on think of how much more obnoxious and entertaining i will be once i am best diarist it will be worth it i mean i already AM the best don’t lie to yourself about that but i need that little first place badge thing on my sidebar so VOTE dangit! now! the site is receiving a lot of traffic so sometimes the loading is fucked no worry just try it again later don’t forget please and thank you.