the super+wife gave us a christmas card last week and not to be outdone i said to fil that we should get them a card and chocolates and then said well how do i give it to them do they have a mailbox of course i did not want to hand it off face to face and fil goes um knock on their door moron and i said NO WAY and then fil said ok fine i’ll go with you and i said NO and he said ok he’ll go alone and i said NO FUCKING WAY I DON’T WANT YOU GETTING CREDIT FOR MY CHOCOLATES I WILL DO IT MYSELF and fil said haha ok fine.

he reverse-psychologied me without even trying.

fil gets credit for EVERYTHING i do when people see us together they think i am some slob mutant in comparison cos he’s all adult and dressed nicely it drives me insane.

over the summer there was a clothing drive for a WOMEN’S shelter so i went through all my clothes and LOVINGLY folded them and filled three bag’s worth, they were pretty heavy, we walked them down to the car in the garage drove out to the visitor’s parking to drop them off and i said oh fil you go do it so he carries the bags over to these two librarian type looking ladies and i can see them grinning like horny nerds at him and breathlessly exclaim OH THANK YOU all cooey-like when they see the three bags of WOMEN’S CLOTHING he was offering. cos of that i am never ever EVER letting him carry anything and do the pass-off EVER AGAIN. i can’t get over HIM getting credit for MY clothes. so when he got in the car and we pulled out passed them i gave them MAJOR stink-eye, did they notice? NO.

i could write a bible’s worth of stories for when the bill comes and how i make it blatantly obvious that I am paying for it, and fil will still get thanked, sometimes i will say really loudly YOU’RE WELCOME from the other side of the room as i am leaving and time it for when fil would be saying it so that they only hear me i fucking swear i could be wearing a fur coat of twenty dollar bills and pluck out some of them to pay and no one would even notice.