oh nice i might be getting a speaking role in this movie now i would be a burlesque dancer that goes home with one of the dudes and i am topless and it’s sort of a funny role, sweet. i’m going to audition for it tonite.
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can’t eat it but one can dream
yes i am a huge asshole for doing that and i should burn in hell.
me: i need to get something to wear to yer work thing
fuck
last year i looked like a potato this year i have to look slammin
Phil: oh god no dont worry about it
i want to call in sick
me: well are you or aren’t you
your wants wont help me not look like a potato
hey gang on thursday i am going to be a burlesque dancer in a canadian feature film called hank and mike i think it will be in the film festival in 2008 sometime and then after that who knows. initially i was maybe suppose to be a nude model in this scene with the dude who does the voice of fat tony for the simpsons (joe mantegna) but i wasn’t “fat enough” or “reubenesque enough” can you believe it? i am sort of dreading the shoot cos i am pasty and i don’t have shoes and i don’t have a robe. i have to get one. it’s too late to go tanning cos i will most definitely fuck it up and have lobster ass.
laura bennett, jugface, bottom middle
is anyone watching project runway these days? don’t you HATE that jugface pregnant bitch!?! when we watch it i say at least ten times how much i hate her and how much of a bitch she is. all she does is criticise EVERYONE else’s work and then during her one-on-one camera chats she talks about how she criticised everyone else’s work and how she didn’t jump up off the couch to greet the no-chin/neck tattoo guy I FUCKING HATE HER. fil told me to tell you that he hates that shovelface too.
she’s pretentious and snotty and a tattle-tail and cannot take criticism at all but is always number 1 to dish it out i am in fucking love with hating her. last nite’s episode we got to see her apartment and her 4 boys, 5 maybe? i dunno but i was thinking BURN ON YOU YOU WANT A GIRL SO BAD AND THE ONE IN YOUR STOMACHE WILL PROBABLY BE A DUDE and her husband looks like einstein.
you really need to watch the show to get the full grasp of just how much her face really is a jug.
all of her designs are exactly alike, long plunging necklines, empire waisted cocktail dresses zzz AND when she sees other people’s designs she goes over and tells them that she is worried about them planting seeds of doubt and insecurity, she can’t handle competition and the only way to thwart it INSTEAD of creating something unique is to bash someone else’s design FUCK OFF.
this is the best mad tv spoof ever:
me: why dont u write about last nite
when u lost the ability to communicate
because you were in a drunk vortex
Phil: super busy
i will tomorrow
me: i am kidding
Phil: i was
me: k
were we kidding
Phil: y
me: k
sigh im bored im going to go figure something to do with my life
should i be an engineer too
Phil: i thought you are going to be a famous(er) internet/media figure/writer
me: yeah well that too
i am already making that happen by eating less, which is boring
Phil: then write more
me: i figure while i am eating less i could be a pilot
Phil: work on that gallery thing you were talking about before
make that happen
me: fil i am taking the piss right now
jeez
Phil: oh
me: i have to wii exercise
see you
Phil: i am distracted with numbers right now
k bye
sigh.
