this cake is so marie antoinette sofia coppola.

absolutely fabulous.

purple bathroom love. purple toilet paper with a wizard perched on top.

coulda sworn i was at leslie’s…

olivaallenty has made a comment on the hangover’s best part:
This is a very good movie, I found it for free at: VIEWFILMSFREE (.) COM

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YOU ARE NOT AT ALL SPAM AND I THINK YOU GENUINELY CARE ABOUT MY SAVING MONEY THANK YOU!

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beep beep beep hi!

the canadian weblog awards 2010 have begun and will go on throughout the year i believe. many great canadian blogs will be profiled, featured, whatever something or other and i am nominated in five categories. they are: Art & Photography, Best Written (nice), Fashion & Style (fuck and yeah, only nominee there), Food & Drink (duh), Life, People’s Choice (open to public vote from December 1-31, 2010). cool so, no direct page to separate categories yet or a poll or anything, just making mention of but yeah, do prepare for vote battle if it comes down to it oh and it will. kind of a note to self reminder i guess so i can un-star ten billion emails. i also have no idea what the fuck is going on with this joke of an award site…..hey now they updated today well what do ya know it’s gone bunk. oh well i beat dooce in 2006 and won something every year after that. i won something in 2002 as well i remember it well i was living in maine and there was absolutely zero competition so i picked up the award for “voted most likely to show into work late” and they mailed me an amazon gift certificate for 25 dollars.

i remember my dad getting all into it too and then once i won a ton of awards in whatever award was going on at the time he was like now what are you gonna do? twilight zone voice. uh do about what? well you won’t win again next year what if there is a younger better you out there? well then i guess i’ll have to deal then won’t i but you know, this is anybody’s game right?

update: was also nominated for Lifetime achievement. they have to give me that one right? and then once i get it do they pack me up in a boxand ship me off somewhere internet isn’t?

tan over from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

vote for me please margaret atwood is beating me how dare she! i’m tied in second with unionst apparently.

remember when i made a poll asking if you sucked your own dick did that make you gay? hahahahha. and every guy voted no. so funny. i’m funny.

i am like totally a unicorn now. you had your chances!

just hit up st.louis then the sky vomited snow sat with a full beer kinda eye-balled it then chugged it on the way out ahh nice buzz quiet snowflake ride home life is funny and maddening.

k here’s a bunch more. i didn’t make them tempy did and she said it didn’t make me look insane it made me “loom hot” i think she meant “look” but that’s ok that’s what i’m here for, interpretations.

omg just got hit with the lazy HARD so here‘s a set of more including one of tempy and her dog and her friend ed BYE.

despite jamie saying he thought i proclaimed i didn’t smoke ganj that much (i half-lie about that) my response email reaction to tempy sending me these was,

“bahahahahah im so stoned that’s hilarious.”

oh sunday, sometimes you fucking suck.

the tree is coming down right now. i took off all the ornaments then began to feel quite weak and faintish. i tried to give’r last nite and my version of givering these days is like half a tall can of coors light mixed with gingerale and an inch of leftover (from NYE) hurtbag unopened champagne also mixed with gingerale and blammo, gunned. oh yeah dash on top of that some back in the saddle weed. this bug tricks you up, you think you’re ready but you so are not. a splitting night time headache follows it too, lasts two days!

remember these stupid things? standards back then were pretty low.

GAH! ghost moccasins are after me! those bell socks are funny you can hear me all over the place but i have become immune to their jingle jangling so i think i’m sneaking up on someone meanwhile i sound like a stampede of pots and pans coming at you. i find i’m a stomper now, i used to tread so lightly in the condo, respectful of naybes and whatnot and now it’s all four walls floor-to-ceiling un-surrounded so i try and walk as loudly as possible. i feel like a cow. while walking i think wow i sound so obese right now. ps. notice how you get the most retarded socks at christmas time (i mean i love them don’t fret) but like yeah is there not a not-retarded sock store available around the holidays? thanks i can wear these for today only and then you get another pair and another and another all stacked up ok nevermind i am obviously out of material when i start going into depth about socks.

red popsicles exist. ha these little fuckers made me fortunes. SUCKERS! kidding kidding love you thank you. though i fear the time of ironic outsider crappy art is dead. thanks economy tankin’ now i have to like, try.

coug party pants. oh yeah, mad cougs in burlington. watch out. yes i know i look like disgusting old party face, still regaining colour. what’s my excuse for all the other times though haha. yeah i’m cool i self-deprecate it’s fine you can like me.

the dogs’ christmas present to us. all the tampons were eaten. YUM sage you fucking lesbian. sigh sorry for swearing i just mean, it’s really irritating having to bring your feminine businesses wrapped-up to an alternate garbage bin under the sink lest you come home and find it tracked all over the upstairs hallway. not embarrassing or disgusting at all.

look i got my white picket fence hee-haw! actually it’s the neighbour’s.

the insane stops never.

first solid i was able to ingest.

first of all thank you i am better much much it was awful but i am thin now so i’ll enjoy it while it lasts. there’s always a point in my life where i get ultra-thin then i’m like now what? some goal eh? what’s the point. anyway. my resolutions were covered in eye weekly hello old friends and i won mondoville’s twit awards for most overlooked TWIT of 2009 and now they need to find out who will reign supreme for Mondoville TWIT of 2009. if you give a shit go vote please. totally didn’t expect to win in the first place guess my traffic annihilates theirs.

just ran out to do some errands. everyone we came into contact with was a right piece of work. so grouchy, bitchy and ‘tudey like fuck you thanks so glad i left the house.

i’m still pretty weak and dave is feelin’ rough again. we’ve been watching lost season 5 re-catching up holy shit confusing much. the one thing you can count on with watching lost is FEELING lost. hwahaha oh friends wish i had some.

what else what else.

i have an appetite but when i eat i feel pukey i don’t think the bug has entirely left me yet. my mom thinks she’s coming down with it.

i wonder what i was thinking here.

tan prep from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

don’t bother with the volume, tan salon music is always crap.

it’s 4.40am and i want to die.

so it wasn’t food poisoning after all it was/is some nasty flu bug virus dave’s aunt got and one by one everyone has come down with it and i will spare you no detail. i started painfully barf retching around 7 or so and ass shit fountaining simultaneously around 8ish? that was fun. that continued until 11.20 then i passed out til 12.30 so missed the midnite gay whatever moment then started barfing again. i haven’t experienced this special sickness since i was super young. i made up for all that non-swearing that’s for sure. the later stages of my puking excursion was the hot part as i have zero left inside to give so it felt like ulcer blood town as well i’m ultra paranoid of getting too dehyrated because i had a seizure when i was a toddler from barfing too much once so having that over my head guzzling water gingerale and popsicles just so i can barf more was the best. oh and i just retched now after taking a gravol so that came up mediciney and out my nose and mouth. radical times!

if your new year’s jam licked just feel comforted in the fact that mine licked worse.

when i get my strength up tomorrow i shall weigh myself that will be fun.

dave lost 9lbs from this! i said i would go into debt booking a tropical vacation following this epic illness what gave me a sick bikini bod cos it’ll probably be the only other time in my life it’ll happen so why not aren’t we all chasing that dream?

i lost 4lbs being around dave with his flu bug didn’t eat at all yesterday aside from some cheetos (best thing ever to vomit up) so i’d say i’m possibly riding underweight territory about now. i’ll talk about my hip bones later. excuse the delerium. craving lime jello something awful.

oh man i hope this vitamin water doesn’t come up ugggggggh.

we went out before everything closed at 6 and i felt this coming on. once we hit the grocery store i knew for certain what my nite was going to look like and commenced turning into little baby lauren. i cannot deal with barfing, knowing i’m going to. i cry like an idiot and moan and you get the idea.

k bye.

these were taken well before it all went down before i showered yesterday as i knew i was going to be ill and didn’t want to look like labyrinth garbage dump lady so no i wasn’t nakes the entire time in front of everybody. omg worst experience ever, just as bad as norwalk virus. if you get it let me know.