i will be teaching a business class today wearing this. i’m goin’ miss smith on ‘em. ya right no way as if i have the nards to wear that i’ve been to this school i know what i’m signing up for. when i used to do presentations (all the time cos i’m a talker and the nervous teacher would let me take over for her) it wouldn’t take long until i was abusively snapping back at all the general kids (business wasn’t offered as an advanced course in grade ten or there was some reason why i didn’t take it and chose the business for dummies credit, i figured out a loophole) talking during my shitty presentation. this one kid had it coming though, when the bell rang i casually sauntered over to my brother, before turning over my shoulder in class to ***** and saying, you’re f–d now and meant it too. my brother made him kneel in the snow in front of everybody out front smoking and apologize to me. nobody screws with the whites. this was back in bully times and this kid antagonized all the nerds and i was sick of defending them so i decided he needed a lesson. in short, today i will not loose my cool if someone talks over me i’ll just be like, yeah i’d like fries with that thanks.
the teacher said that to one of his students, he’s like, one day in the future you’re going to ask me a question and the answer to that question is, yes, i would like fries with that. now the guy is a top student of his ha. nice.
someone was showing off large time in their pink pants. she matched her throw and painting. i liked it a lot. matching surroundings is one of my favourite past times. THEME WEAR OMG THRILL ME! like, obviously i am going to dress like every educational cliche in the book today or fast times at ridgemont high, drew barrymore in never been kissed hahaha endless possibilities. outfit comes first, lecture, secondary. yeah yeah kids what? advertising, influence, e-commerce, huh? shh not important, look at the sparkly pink dress i wore to this event once SHHHH LISTEN TO ME!
last night was fun. hope you enjoyed being confused by it in photos. lisa made us hummus and a beautiful salad, we brought a dufflet cake. i am classy like that. invite me over and i will bring something high-tea appropes. ok here are some more pics now.
look at my nails. have to redo them before i go, don’t want kids seeing anything less than perfection. i haven’t totally prepared anything to say yet i’m just going to walk in there and be like this school prepared me for life so pay attention shitheads. nah i’ma walk in like this.
NOW look whatcha made me do i put on my leather jacket. y’all f-d now. next i’m sitting down and putting my COWBOY BOOTS UP ON THE DESK SO YOU KNOW I MEAN BUSINESS. (i couldn’t find that picture).
replete with rat tail. i sweat like mad in my sleep so that’s what’s up right now i’m not gonna tracey quaf it then i’ll have to start makeup base all over again and i’ll look like a pumpkin. orange county pumpkin. oranges and pumpkins. that’s a good fall cocktail.
my first hamburger in weeks. i ate it like a raccoon. my ex’s ex is the first one to ever take note of the interesting way i eat. i’m passionate to say the least, in every thing that i do. you should see me brush my teeth.
the sun was in my eyes and i have camel toe. i ran out of underwear. i am living like a child of divorce, my stuff is everywhere and it’s driving me crazy again.
ten minutes later this place was slammed. prior to it, the patio was the only favoured spot. supper time was upon us. we ate then drove to burnoutington.
i like a nice skunky beer when i’m hung. but now i like kronenburg more, stella skunked me right out. i don’t typically drink beer, a tidbit of which culminated in a blitzkrieg when i visited t-bay, drankin’ my white wine spritzers and shit out of the back of a car. i got in many fights picked with me, which i took on for toronto’s honour. next time i’ll punch someone and go YOU GOT G20’D BITCH don’t f- with people from toronto! (stole that joke from evan) can’t wait to see you again steffy!
i am nervous. maybe i’ll just keep drinking and smoking and smoking and drinking that will solve everything then jump out of the window even though it’s on the ground floor like the lion when the wizard spooks him.
oh this just reminded me i need to email that girl re: sleigh bells. i am taking a herd there. when i arrived to derek’s first not one of my PBC were there yet so i was han solo. i brought a bottle of jameson’s for derek because i am classy, left it in the freezer. he texted thanking me for coming but i didn’t reply i’m pissed at his tall asshole friend who looks like my old shrink, he left before me and i wanted to split a cab in the scary unfamiliar junction.
getting princessier. you would barf if you were privy to behind-the-scenes action. it is reality tv worthy. maybe we should film redecorating the rooftop, i might need to get a switch of some sort and a pointing wand. yes, i need a wand. several.
hahee not my penmanship. you shoulda seen the one i got the first week, it had a key attached to it. i texted a photo to all my friends AHHH LOOK WHAT IS GOING ONNNN!
i look like i am wearing a weird wig. ok i am appropriately freaking out i have to go prepare something now.
here’s ANOTHER music video i am in at the dakota tavern (i am more hipster than you)(omg no i am not a hipster)(haha). v briefly though, wayne gretzky’s dad is in it!
can you spot the brunette raymi? i am wearing this (humiliating video).
rocky is my little sunshine pants face. so, now you know. tucker max apparently talks to his dog in a baby voice too, unashamedly so. you need to witness my mother and i actually all of the kerouacs chillin’ with animals. it’s something.
a pre chill-out drank at the slye. i said a lot of snotty girl things shawn’s like WOW you are such a bitch ahhahaa. overlooking the menu i muttered hmm slye dogs or something, so, trash. the hankerchief set it off superbly. i was trying to make everyone as uncomfortable as possible. excuse me peasants, you disgust me.
as usual, there was no plan or organized thing, maybe swiss chalet? maybe a drink at swiss chalet? no i do not f–ing think so. so i figured out the fastest most efficient way to get everything without my brother’s delicate patience being blown and how to save/make the party that my mother and nana were both incapable of deciding on their own, happen. no one is good at planning and putting into practice in my family. last mother’s day nana almost kiboshed swiss chalet entirely or that was two years ago, can’t remember anyway something annoying always goes down so i’m on the phone here with my mom being like LOOK what is the plan if i go and grab a bunch of food and shit and nana and papa aren’t even back yet, can you, can you just please tell me what to do here AGHHH EXLPOSION!!!!!! BOOM!
i figured it all out over a half pint of labatt blue light and some ridiculous excuse for thai chicken bites. why do you think breading things makes them tastier? do you want everyone to die prematurely? stop it pubs!
bro and i used to play badminton back here til we’d lose every ball and cock (ha) then resort to sneaking off to the park or playing nicky ninedoors. or some asshole shit. we were always punk kids.
i bought her that gold bottle two christmases ago from one of those old lady stores in the mall all full of crap like this. where is the nana store? usually upstairs across from bikini village, in the shitty stores no one shops at district. i know me my malls. thanks mom.
i sent this to teacher as he was at his mother’s sighing profusely moonily over me. do you want some coffee? sigh. lauren likes coffee. AHHAHAHAhA anyway he goes HOW DO YOU KEEP GETTING HOTTER? he bought me another present too and is currently DTD (it’s a PA day) with his colleagues and then lisa is making us dinner and having us over at her patio tonight yay life!
gave mom that weird camera i won at high tea and a $50 bay card. she said she’ll get a new purse with it i said mom only fat girls get purses, that’s what they resort to. purses and shoes. those are privilege items. hmmph. plus she has so many purses already. such a waste.
talking at my old high school tomorrow. yes, as we see here clearly this is part of the recipe to online success. stupid pictures of yourself in photobooth.
i told my nana i’d get a nose job yesterday. my mom thinks i’m going to get my tits done now what? where is this shit coming from other than probably the truth? hahaha.
i bet some of my girlfriends would just love to be able to talk to their soap star character “friends”. i overheard steffy goes shit like “oh i BET you do” while watching her stories. gahahahaaha aw. that stuff is SOOOO boring to me it’s a wonder my life imitates one on the internet.
i look like a bitch i used to know, not saying who, bet she reads this. hi there if you think on a good day many years ago you looked like me in this photo and two, you are a bitch then yes, it’s true, i think we look the same here.
papa was walking around half naked he was the exact same colour as the house, my mom’s outfit and myself, we were a few nudists and mom wouldn’t let me take pictures though i have one hilarious shot.
i am pissed here and being passive aggressive. shawn’s like I DON’T WANT TO FEED THE DUCKS BLAAAAARGH YOU’RE NOT EVEN FUCKING FAMOUS BLAAAAAAH! WAITING FOR YOUR BOYFGRIEND SGFESHFGJKLDSHL! i’m all DUDE this day is NOT about you! mom has a fucking bag of bread in the fucking carsdgmnberlgjkbs bAGH!!!! go drink and wait in the pub i don’t care jesus christ etc. i won the war.
my brother was rocking big shades that i made fun of the entire time. when i wear big shades the world stops everyone has to know it and i get made fun of until i puke.
he felt bad and was screaming my name into this as i was walking up like a bitch before ignoring it hahaha fucking asshole siblings right? like, we would lay down and die for each other but irritate, instigate and nothing but torture upon the other in the interim.
this darling spot in libville will be my new holiday. don’t know the name don’t care. our server was awesome, are you here for the FC game? no, we just live here. instant respect. no tourists here.
this was on him too as teacher ordered poutine (set soccer menu only) and they were out of gravy. let me buy you a beer the guy says to make up for it. we turned that into wine. def going back. brazenhead was slammed. there was a security guard even lol. soccer hooligans ruin everything.
also do i look like i give a fuck about soccer? haha. i have never been to a game. i want to, and will someday, it just hasn’t been warm enough yet. there’s a guy who still pesters me to go with him to a game. once for becks too, it was rainy that day. sorry david beckham, i had better things to do.
she actually wore a hat like this back in the day, justin had the actress imitator in cry me a river video wear one even she wore this stupid newsies hat all the time. i know everything about pop culture.
i look like i work at the circus in 1920. right chappy have a ride on the ferris wheel mate yeah? i was wearing a cat jumpsuit looking deal on friday too it was neat. you will likely never see those pics though.
note how there is always an animal in the background of my pictures, near me, nearing me. i am the pied piper. this cat likes me more than the teacher and she’s known him for thirteen years baahahahaa. me? under 3 months. gaahahaha. its true. he said so.
i’m playing left handed here duuuudes. ambidextrous. i’ll add that to the long list of things i excel at. not that it matters anyway, playing that one metallica song open fret doesn’t matter if it’s upside down or not, it’s like playing a harp, i can do it in ma fuckin sleep.
the teacher talks about me in class to his students. he was teaching philosophy last week and they were discussing ubermensches and a student asked if he knew anyone like that and he said yes i do know one person like that.
an ubermensch refuses to subvert their individuality for the safety of the group. they use their force of will to create a new world, rather than accept the old one. a threat to the established order, they are both adored and loathed.
basically, your world sucks, i made a better one. come watch. or fuck off. whatever i don’t care. i’m not marching to the beat of your drum. wait, i don’t even march. i mosey.
i’m trying to think of other ubermenches. there are no facts, only interpretations so in every blog argument of mine, say the hangover stripper post, check and read that. i constructed my own bizarre method of measuring why it’s not ok for my man to go on a las vegas stripper bender. to even the score of that would be myself being uber illicit with men, therefore no you may not go to vegas. i mean. you may by all accounts go but the penalty is there, and it’s not a penalty either, only the balance in my universe requires restoration, if i am not enough for you and you need to feel up the body of a dancer, this sends a message. these rules aren’t facts, only interpretations according to ubermenschia.
94 little raymis blew up about it. divided opinions big time. um i don’t feel as crazy about this now as i did then, clearly i have control and jealousy issues, had rather. now i don’t care. i have no belief in men or trust. i have seen the other side and i am no longer naive. ok off for a read of this to refresh. i like that they’re filming a sequel.
i love that i get to re-experience this night again on this beautiful(ish) saturday afternoon. these food features of mine get me pumped about my next meal, i fantasize about eating immensely, namely, what can i next eat that is delicious and nutritious? people think they live day by day, no, try, meal by meal. i shall live to dine another day and because i have messed up eating restrictions and meal plans always, the next meal will be linner, for breakfast. followed by tons of snacks. i think snacking should have its own meal name, i feel the majority of people too busy to sit down for meals, snack more than the former and if that’s your main style of consumption, that’s not snacking, it’s eating. i will get back to you if i think of better terminology for this right, sometime, ever.
we begin at the bar to have a cocktail, the place is packed and bumping, good vibe, happy faces, welcoming, efficient. every table spoken for. a couple gets a table ahead of us which i don’t mind, i like to wait for the perfect table and it’s a thrill when it pops up, cos you don’t know where it might be. every spot has a different vantage point and even though NOBODY puts baby in the corner, sometimes the corners are best.
kept trying to time the photo with the wine fridge door opening, it cast a baseball stadium light beam on to me, a portal to another dimension of suntan booths worlds over.
suffice it to say, one of us was not very good at timing this apparent challenging feat which i am incredulous by, as seen here. i am a pro, you have to be ready and waiting with your finger on the trigger, yes i am using hunting analogies (presently reading affliction by russell banks and it’s deer hunting season in new hamphshire right now btw)(nerd boner alert, lulz) for photography, is there really a difference aside from the outcomes? by one means, the subject shot is pierced by bullet, by the other, our subject hopefully gets a nice portrait sitting at a bar.
she suggested colleague get a shot of the pussy willows, when she overheard me barking demands reminders and suggestions to capture this and that before we left, so he took this one and it appears as though to be an outside shot. neat. i find i am too sparse with my compliments so have to be better (nicer) than that other than, going like, yeah that’s great, good for you I DON’T SEE MY FACE ANYWHERE IN THOSE PUSSY WILLOWS SO WHY ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME? um i am turning into naomi campbell. SHE is scary. i love her. remind me to google image obsess search over her later on please thank you it’s important.
full marks for people watching venue. these are the best types of joints for that. people who are super into their cuisine and are out to be doted on, i love the free-for-all once the wine’s flowing, you turn to your table neighbours to your right or left once both parties have eavesdropped appropriately enough and say whatever’s on your mind. no snobby attitudes clogging up the atmosphere.
cleanse coach giving me some super probiotics but i left my bottle of digestion enhancement enzymes at home. pop these when you eat post-cleanse to keep that brand new food movement moving.
lynn came by to give us heck about not having pork shoulder (APPLE CIDER & JACK DANIELS MARINATED PORK LOIN)(drool, jesus when they write about it like that kinda makes you feel stupid eh?) so she made us tenderloin, which i love. thanks lynn. (nervous relief). someone has beautiful penmanship, look at the font of the writing on the blackboard. swoon.
here’s the entire menu for thursday:
THURSDAY MAY 5
STEEL HEAD TROUT & CARRON FARMS BEET SALAD
Sleger’s Living Greens, Fingerling Potato Coins, Quail Egg,
Triple Crunch Mustard Dressing
APPLE CIDER & JACK DANIELS MARINATED PORK LOIN
Pork Shoulder Cassoulet, Grilled Kielbasa Sausages with Wild Mushrooms
Ice Berg Lettuce Wedge with Warm Bacon Vinaigrette
island foods stamps their logo on their bags, their food is good enough for that so i won’t call the food police on them. so by this theory, mc’d’s and BK, a&w etc should be barred from all that branding.
very happy girl. this steel head trout salad was delish. little adorable quail eggs, beets (which are now out of season nooo i love you beets don’t leave me!) fingerling potato “coins” (CUTE!) lightly dressed, definite mustard seed notes swimming in there. i love mustard seed i use it often. mustard seed for the win.
i had the tiniest bit of this cheese biscuit, i avoided it so i don’t remember what the blend was but it was delicious. i just had a brooklyn flashback of getting chicken and biscuits from a drive through in bushwick (flatbush? somewhere dangerous at that time of night) with jamie then sitting with our boxes of grease in front of easy rider, in his greenpoint loft. i was like, i have arrived in life. actually i was at a very depressed juncture which i shall blog poetically about someday when i can get over it. the point is, drippy buttery greasy biscuits are quite the invention of destruction so if you must, please only have one from a place like Ruby – 730 Queen St E – 4.1.6 4.6.5.0.1.0.0. make a reservation i doubt you’ll be able to just drop in, maybe on industry night (mondays).
love looking in on this. that’s why people love hell’s kitchen even though they get shitty food (for tv’s sake) or have to wait 2 hours and then get interviewed about how they had to wait 2 hours even though they KNEW they’d have to wait two f–ing hours (i love it) and you’re like if you really wanted to eat you’d go to spago or some shit but no, you want to be on tv and want to watch the crazy frenzy going on in the kitchen expecting to be pissed off and then it’s your moment to be pissed off shine on camera, people FIGHT to get in that restaurant (wasn’t there a ramsay’s kitchen nightmares where blogger reviewers came in and one girl tweeted during service about how it was crap? i need to find that episode). servers get addicted to this stress, the adrenaline i had after closing bar forces you to chug booze like a chris farley john belushi love child and stay up til 5am. i know i am addicted to this blog and the crazy variety of things i do daily yet crave a break and then when the break comes i get emo and think everybody forgot about me when’s the next thing OMFG WHEN!?
like i said the menu changes daily. i like that. there will definitely be something on it for everybody, they serve your party in bigger portions and you can plate it yourself if you’re finicky. smart.
i liked and found humour that we get to bask in the luminescence of the subway sign ‘cross the way. any closer to the front and you can watch someone having the thursday sub special while you cut into your oh so tender APPLE CIDER & JACK DANIELS MARINATED PORK LOIN. heehee.
not food wasters, good good. they divide it all for you without your needing to ask so if you played favourites with some dishes, you go home with them. ok i will arm wrestle you for the beet salad, which there is no point in bothering because i am so going to win. YEAH! i am going back to the central to arm wrestle that little erin chick. a come-uppance indeed.
do you know how powerfully intoxicating the scent of grilled bread is? why would they do that to me? i had a teeny nibble of the artisanal cheese but mostly focused on the Celery & Radish Salad. by this point we were stuffed.
getting a little face time with lora who will be at Cheese Boutique tomorrow SUNDAY tomorrow! yes tomorrow, which is sunday, which is also mother’s day oh crap i have to go to the bay and get my mom a gift certificate (what’s with moms and the bay?)(gahahah the teacher just said what about feairweather? ahahahahah).
this is what she’s making. i wish she were there today i want that now, you have no idea how much i need it haha or if you saw me last night at adventurehouse then you probably do. haha hi brock and kevin and jay and the rest thanks for coming had a blast dancing with you. melodie get me those pics asap! we used my old camera it was so weird using it i can’t believe i used that piece of crap for so long and it kept this blog going, you guys have very low standards for your quality of entertainment. just saying. this blog needs an overhaul redesign stat.
just kidding i was very good actually, i had just under a third and gave the rest to jeanette who later texted me that she had the rest in the most food p0rnographic text ever i hope i still have it ahahahaa.
talking some kind of shit or other, who knows who cares it travels up from a bottomless well so you don’t need to capture it all. or remember it, or listen.
one of her sayings is eat what you want when you want with who you want without shame. ok jeanette can you shut up for one sec and put that spoon in my mouth? namaste.
that is the biggest apple that i have ever seen. um is it real? is it even an apple? it’s so tim burton. sigh i missed him at the lightbox. i have a disney make a wish foundation dream to be jack skellington in a christmas pageant. i know every song by heart. ok this is a self indulgent irrelevant tale for another day.
i am going to get the teacher to film me singing this song. “the fame and praise comes year after year, does nothing for, these empty tears.” gah love this movie. before you! i have it on vhs! this movie is my cousin and i’s version of jesus christ superstar that my mom and my uncle sang to each other.
found cheese boutique’s 2011 festival of chefs cheese accordion pamphlet (colleague designed it) each slice of which has the featured chef of the week and all their restaurant information, handy thing to hang on to.
i look like something out of harry potter, make sure you visit the platinum banshee off market before heading back to hogwarts, she has a message for youuuuu.
i told jeanette she changed my life, hugged and thanked her and she was touched. a lot of my friends and family have told me i am their health inspiration. good. great!
thanks everyone at RUBY for the great time. yours is a prime example of an owning thy shit establishment, i shall sing your praises next time someone asks for a recco in the east end.
xoxo ruby tuesday raymi.
ps. everyone don’t forget to have one of lora’s mini macaroni hamburgers tomorrow at cheese boutique it’s on me!
