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tune me up scotty

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oh hi there toronto, how’s your news today?

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peep my lil skull head that impressively hasn’t been nicked after all these years.

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too small to notice it. now watch it’ll get thiefed.

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bit rusty. the bikes on wheels boys will sort me out hopefully. new location on queen street couldn’t be more central. beautiful bikes in there too. 779 queen street w. check it though, you can pre-buy a spring tune-up service for 33% off right now via Live Better Local, (the brainchilds behind my raymi cruise of the city yesterday) they’re like a co-operative of independent businesses, LOCAL SHIT (my favourite) that you go to all the time anyway. i love these guys because now finally there’s a place online that will show me all my regular haunts across the city who’ve joined LBL‘s business directory (for free, you can do it too if you like and don’t have a website for your business).

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for me personally, i like a site like LBL cos it encourages these businesses to get online. do you know how many businesses i visit in a day and then try to get on board with the internet (everybody wins if we’re all on the internet) and they are just like straight not in to it, it makes my job so much tougher when businesses have internet phobias, pushing boulders uphill, to explain to such and such vendor that by giving me a discount or something for free, it will pay off for them because i am a walking billboard for absolutely everything i come into contact with. why do i care? because i am a consumer and i am constantly buying shit, doing things, needing stuff, you know, plus i am a cheapskate and i always try to see how i can get things for free or at least very cheaply which is where the internet comes in and if these people are already familiar with that then the selling myself speech gets to be shorter.

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it’s just a little frustrating and like going back in time, all the time, some times and then i’m like screw it i’ll just pay full price and be bitter about it because i know the effectiveness of my influence but not only that it’s a guaranteed promo if the thing makes it to my blog whether it is intentional or not, i just did pepsi (for ex.) a solid of 10k eyeballs by mistake you get what i’m saying? eventually i will have my sales pitch strategy down pat. i realized yesterday that i am going to be a bloody salesman til the day i die. i think i lost ten years off my life from that realization.

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and so the beautiful thing that LBL has done for us is they’ve approached about 200 businesses (and growing) thus far and got them on board to their business directory, and the more that increases, the better it will be. will be. heh. kay sara, sara and such right. any business can run a deal whenever they want, they don’t have to wait for their turn, they can just keep pumping them out and ask lbl to feature it, no problem. they don’t even have to run any deals they can just update their vendor page with photos or NEWS, articles, press mentions the sky is the limit. no catch either. lbl can come by and take photos of your shop too and you can use them on your own little platform in the marketplace, kind of like a hybrid of a facebook/blog/website and you won’t have to deal with, i dunno, making your own damn website. it’s like, you are an idiot if you don’t join because all the other indie businesses in your hood are on it and when a particular neighbourhood is featured well, do you like making money or not? do you want to be included? i’m going to do a raymi video of me biking from my home across the city on a day in the life of raymi and along my journey i will visit some places, now, what is “some places” exactly? pretty vague but essentially any place that would want me to visit and therefore not only be included in the video broadcast on my blog but, NOT blurred out, not specifically omitted. more on that later. so much work to be done. you can email me by RAYMI at RAYMITHEMINX dot com fyi.

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love these. guess which colour i liked the most.

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getting warmer.

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i like that bike culture has its own style of dress if you want to be in with the gear heads. what are bike enthusiasts called? anywhoo i’ll be back to pick up my bike after a snack or two. now, where shall we have lunch?

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Leslieville Cheese Market right in the heart of queen street, beside java. this was my first time in here, pass it all the time. i love discovering new places. hi michael! yes i look stupid you’re welcome for posting this.

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mmmm. these dudes are friends with cheese boutique too. all the meats and cheese people are, well, some are, the ones who aren’t competing. ok i’ll shut up now.

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so many things to sample while you wait. you bet your ass i got my sample on. they’re so nice in there.

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by the time i left michelle had already tweeted to me. i like when biz’s are on twitter. i am giving up on trying to explain to others the benefits of it, you’re either playing the social media game or you aren’t. see like i’m leaving now but i’ll tweet while present, that one extra piece to my internet story puzzle would be tweeting specifically @ your business and pointing everyone there, but if you resist the almighty twitter then no tweet love, comprende?

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i built up an appetite from biking over.

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that’s michelle, hi michelle! thanks for the cheese samples (i don’t remember the names of anything). cool shirt, could this post be more canadiana? ha and then i dropped in on the debate and high-fived jack layton. well by the time he returned the fiver i was already coolly slicking back my hair, deeked the guy right out.

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michael is preparing my grilled cheeses back there. i got the tuna melt (MMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and something else. you can purchase a 36% discount thinger right now for some grilled cheese sandwiches how cute is that? sometimes it’s the little things right?

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see how i am clearly the highlight of michelle’s day? is that sad? haha kidding.

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no worries though this was totally one of my highlights of yesterday for sure.

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ok foodie pr0no time.

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oh hi me.

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when the apocalypse comes i know where i am raiding, place is stocked. best bunker ever.

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gluten free. yay!

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the place was busy. people love their food.

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it looks like this from the outside in case you are a neurotic. some people require all the visuals they can get, that’s why google invented street view on maps, because people are idiots i guess.

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i just love the whimsy.

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!!!!!!!!!

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it was imperative i photograph one on its own. you put it upside down for ten minutes on a plate with the lid off i think (i sped-read the label and sometimes i just make up my own words i think it’s called hallucinatory selective retainment)(i just made that up but it’s SO a thing though). i LOVE the graham crust. i can’t wait to be a happy fatty one day.

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everywhere you look there’s something delicious you want.

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michael brought out these lovely little gluten free sandwiches. so they do the best grilled cheese and they cater to hippies with diet restrictions, do they go ahead and eat the food for you too and tuck you in at night? pretty much. man, today’s consumer is oh so spoiled. standards are high. know your market right? i should teach business someday. at the teacher’s last night i regurgitated all that i had learned and done yesterday and he was very impressed, sees how hard i actually work and how mentally insane it makes me. he said not to teach it though (funny coming from a teacher, no?) just to do it.

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these have pesto mmmmm. garlic is my weakness. i have many.

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when i meet new people if they look familiar to me i always comment on that. i swear i’ve seen you before. it’s possible. i live in a city, i go to things often, so do others. anyway no i have not met michael before but he is one of those people who you are instantly keen on, nice guy, endearing and very into his food. you’ll enjoy yourself in there, good atmosphere, the only annoying people are the other customers haha. people can get psycho when they’re hungry eh.

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and then some confusing happening is, happening, a blond and cameras, mugging and gorging and meanwhile all you wanted was a sandwich.

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i had to train my new cameramen who had to make do with the lack of lcd on my camera. i get impatient and strangers staring and scrutinizing me while i game show pose, fuck, i don’t think everybody could do what i do everyday. don’t think, act.

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i have a few posing 101 things i do, my go-to’s. you have to wince through them when you are being eyeballed all around you. i remember seeing sass just bravely posing and ignoring everyone else and have adopted that too. there is nothing better than outright ignoring slit eyes and then just showing more and more teeth at the camera. guess what lady, i am WORKING here.

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how smug would you be waiting in line with your discount voucher and presenting it like willy wonka’s golden ticket. there is something special about gift cards or coupons, certificates. i feel like you have to loudly as hell clear your throat, ahem a lot and only then can you produce your exclusive little secret club papers. the curiosity of surrounding customers floors me too. it’s these little thrills that get us through life, i am a firm believer of this. oh, what am i doing over here, that’s right unlike you, i am not paying full price for my grilled cheese sandwiches. mmhmm.

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i love to collect new places too. i’d never think to go here if not for the internet despite passing it many many many times. i think that’s a win for the internet. so you can be a snotty stubborn real life only business type and be happy with the bare minimum clientele you’ve presently got, or, you can take on the new generation of consumers who are happy to make purchases online and are already familiar and comfortable doing that. you need to adapt to (along with) society NOT expect for it to adapt to you, that’s the way of the world old mister typewriter guy or film photography codger.

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the moment of truth.

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he cut these up thankfully so we could share with two crabby impatient customers. no time was being eaten up by us at all we were simply in line like everybody else only taking photos while waiting. it bothers me when i see anger in people’s faces annoyance, like, you live in a city, can’t take it? move then. what i am doing over here has nothing to do with you, maybe only in the sense that i am trying to help your beloved sandwich monger’s out here so that they can stay in business so you have somewhere to stand in line frowning at lunchtime.

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i’m a psycho like that. i cannot let things go. i think that everyone’s rage is my fault, always. i have an apology compulsion too. i sense people’s irritations before they happen. if i am with someone who is a loud talker i cringe billions of times inwardly because i feel like they are annoying everyone around us, even out in a park, which of course is also my fault because we are taking pictures? i am too nervous for this world ha ha.

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i LOVED these sandwiches. be sure to try the tuna melt i have never had such a delicious tuna melt before, it’s like it was pulled pork, so thick and tender. exquisite. there’s a word i seldom use. it’s totally the one though.

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the crabby couple was watching this and making snarky faces. raymi, let it go. let it go. i can’t i can’t! one of these days i am just going to cause the most magnificent of scenes, ten years of suppressed (ha hardly suppressed) rage will come out on some little biddy in the annex. i just know it.

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this is me and my ADD at its finest. semi-listening, trying trying, failing, eating. pretty much what every foodie post i’ve ever done goes like and then foodie geeks get mad. food “reviewers” will be a post for another day though. i think i might be the solution for some restaurant proprietors out there, the ones willing to just shut up and listen because at the end of the day, ONE bad review from some witch can haunt you on google for years and years and years if you don’t watch it. another thing i’ve learned which is a bit of a catch 22, those who fear the internet most are the ones who cannot let go of a bad review it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy, we don’t want to touch the internet and NOW look what’s happened see i told you so they’re saying things about us on the internet so FUCK the internet. it doesn’t have to be that way and it can be avoided and if it happens to you there’s always damage control for the aftermath. i am an expert on bad press unfortunately.

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yay it’s bike time. i was looking forward to blasting home listening to fleet foxes it’s like winter was never here.

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there’s the one. what do you mean i can’t join your bike gang? pfft. everyone knows clubs are for nerds anyway ‘cept for the parkdale boys club though.

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picking up my baby.

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but lets pose with some stuff first just in case it’s not ready.

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one day i’ll get me a new one. not necessary though as i have two bikes. i’m bringing one to my dad’s so i can bike around burnoutington and really mess with people’s minds, i don’t think anyone rides a vintage peewee herman bike out there. i think i could bike to emma’s back porch from my dad’s, easily. lock my bike up, then get dropped off the next day to bike back with it. there’s no way i’d drunk bike ride home in burlington i’d for sure get run over and my dad would sit white knuckled waiting for me to get home. hi i am 5 years old still apparently.

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toronto is a huge bike fetish city. love that.

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moment of truth. alex hooked me up nice and good. my gear is still screwed though cos i snapped a wire and it’s a 70’s bike, this location is new so they of course wouldn’t have that specific obscure (obsolete) part whatever it was. kathleen can you get me that part?

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looks way cleaner and some of the winter rust is gone. the bell looks and sounds a lot better and my wheels were pumped, chain lubed/oiled, maybe other things i didn’t ask about didn’t care don’t need to know that’s your department i’m just the rider here.

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checking her out.

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there goes our girl. satisfied.

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right beside triple 7 heaven. i won’t bombard you with any more. for now. you got off easy.

so remember folks, Live Better Local will hook you up and if you know of a business (indie only) that should be up on there, encourage them to, it’s FREE to join the directory and it’s free to have your deal spot featured too. eventually i think a business a week should be featured to blog on LBL to keep the co-operative going strong and our city commerce thriving, and me in my wacky adventures combing the city for thrills. the site organizes categories for you too like say i have a hankering for rock climbing, maybe just maybe there’s a place nearby, or better yet, TWO places? spas? which one has the cheapest rate and most whimsical facilities, LBL will tell me because they are only involving themselves with select businesses, the BEST ones. think elite and exclusive. you will never see pizza pizza or shitty tacky sub-par quality services on LBL. if raymi would like it then yes, consider it there.

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oh so lovely day. today not so much. my bike is being rained on in the driveway right now.

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luckily i spied a few reflective surfaces in leslieville cheese market to fix my hair by i was looking a little platinum ramones.

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see? hahha.

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magic pony is now officially in the narwhal location. good work dudes. i think kristin invented magic pony specifically for me. i think she saw inside my brain one day because inside my brain it looks like this window display.

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just some blackberry randoms.

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i punctured my adventures yesterday with a day time stress relieving half pint with the teacher. i was a stress monster. i had my head down on the bar (tired, not drunk!) i was soo soo exhausted but i knew if i napped i would just burn the fuck out so i kept going. i had a grilled calamari salad with lots of mados to blast my head off despite knowing i’d be eating ethiopian for dinner. teacher says he has a thing for sad girls. he should not have said that now i can manipulate him even more so. he bought me hello kitty mp3 speakers in the form of hello kitty to try and cheer me up or out of my stress vortex. on my way out yesterday i received some stressful news that added to my stress pile. ok no more talking about being stressed for the rest of the week.

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day began hungover like this. the macintosh is sooo slooooow. it was so sunny i was annoyed and frustrated by being chained to the computer. i went up for a break before i had to leave to embark on crazy the minx crazy train tour.

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some of my brains spilled out on to the pavement.

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i was whitening my teeth but wanted a nip of chianti before heading out to dinner. solution? purple princess straw. worked like a charm michelle.

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beneath my red hoodie another tracey shirt. a purple gauzy one. teacher was like ok boyfriend response is, wear the grey one out. therefore i went for purple. he’s not my boyfriend even though he is. ha. another girl i know has a boyfriend, for YEARS, but hates introducing him as such. wants to give the appearance of being single maybe? but then i hear she dates too so who knows. my dating/coupling philosophies and practises have wholly changed since becoming singlish, i am way more relaxed about it now and realistic, maybe too relaxed? i am used to things ending or hearing of ridiculously complicated relationships and being none oo phased. engaged raymi was an alien comparatively to today raymi.

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do yourself a favour and drop in there, say raymi sent you. you don’t even need to do that to try and get a deal, there is food all over the place to sample but, it doesn’t hurt to show your loose connection to me, no?

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well, i guess, girls just want to have blog. right?

see you on the funny farm xoxo.

11 thoughts on “tune me up scotty

  1. you look so chic in the bike shop, for some reason i really like you wearing a backpack

    the sweater reminds me of kurt cobain in the teen spirit video (you must have heard this before)

    and cheesecake in a tub?!… god sign me up

  2. Also,

    only a quarter of the photos showed up in this post

    the words that stood out the most were:

    my dating/coupling philosophies and practises have wholly changed since becoming singlish, i am way more relaxed about it now and realistic, maybe too relaxed? i am used to things ending or hearing of ridiculously complicated relationships and being none oo phased. engaged raymi was an alien comparatively to today raymi.

    Strange how these philosophies get developed

    I think it happens as a result of your own personal experience and watching what happens to the people around you.

  3. Gotta dig a guy who will buy you Hello Kitty because you love it :)

    Also, your posts always make me so damn hungry…Aren’t I supposed to be getting fitter just by reading you? Haha.

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