work the room like a pageant

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last night i went out as turbo lesbo. i was practising for tonight, which will be an epic shit show no doubt. we are going VVIP to the sound academy for CSS and sleighbells. i hope i don’t dance right over the balcony. why do i feel deaf already? toronto’s penny lane will have quite the interesting adventure post for you tomorrow. if only i had a crystal ball. taking teacher lisa courtney and her brother.

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i think colleague is losing it lol.

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i want cheese so much right now. teacher wouldn’t stop talking about cheese for the rest of the night. after our failure of a meal at harlem underground we left feeling a lot better about ourselves and life in general after all the cheese we had at the drake thanks to my foodie jump rope ties.

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cheese off. cheese masters. afrim, cole, michael. afrim was knighted by france re: his cheesexpertise so i think he wins here, just in showing up. however, maybe cole wins because he said his wife knows everything about me, that my name is in their household daily. YOU WIN I DON’T CARE HOW WRONG YOU (if by chance) WERE. then again, michael could win cos he makes great grilled cheese sandwiches (mid-post) but afrim builds cheese adventurehouses, tough call.

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he was able to do it based on melodie’s meticulous (incredibly detailed) floor plan of adventurehouse. he said he almost gave up 4 times, it drove him to madness. guy try LIVING in it LOL.

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narnia’s got nothing on adventurehouse. ps. check it out you can see pics of mel’s paris trip on it. is she back yet?

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the cheese battle plate. i can tell what some of those are just by my eyeballs. baby is learnding (purposeful typo, that’s how ralph says it).

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teacher is staring at me like a lovesick puppy in many photos. he had a mysterious groupie somewhere in the room last night who we think we figured out and was kind of dismissive to me (WHAT F–ING ELSE IS NEW WORLD!)(mean girls who are mean because i look like a cupcake are predictably dour i’m sorry the teacher likes cupcakes!)(no i am not) but on twitter was fan-girling over him. SO bizarre. yet again will never link his twitter, been there, done that!

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speaking of fan girling see mine here, but i am fan girling them (or just checking in saying hi whatever) but you see how mutual shyness ruins everything or we are all just spread out cuckoo equally? i know afrim is, that guy is awesome. i think i drank too much x-bold coffee (a pot!) today i can’t control what my fingers are typing anymore aggh.

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look at us all manners and cordiality. professional class titans.

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positive reinforcement like so, cole gets a thumbs up. you kids pay attention now.

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what he didn’t know was that colleague had already thrown him under the bus when he mentioned raymi was coming. i think it’s fair though as i’m always at a disadvantage cos everyone knows me before i know them, or they hide that they know me then i go and talk to them like a regular person all insecure and shit.

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today i am washing my hair for the first time since friday’s hair appointment. pretty good. pretty crimpy too. like this cabbage patch doll i used to have. did you know i was born the same year cabbage patch kids were invented? 1983. also same year as the chicken mcnugget. billie jean was the number one song. what am i a category in jeopardy? (yes).

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i spy michelle.

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this reminds me of the secret game we play blindfolded, then tell a deep dark (dirty) secret while everyone laughs at you at 4 in the morning ahahhaha.

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what is this a john lennon press junket? awesome! high five, me!

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that’s ivy knight hosting. she liked my outfit (dismissed me). i wore it specifically for her actually. truth. ahahaha. she is an old school foodist. respect.

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then i met a big player, arlene stein (bows) and i think i just might have charmed her. we shall see. wink.

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THIS IS WHAT WORKING LOOKS LIKE. it’s funny following foodies on twitter, shit about wine tastings at 1, luncheons at 3, go life. i knew the cheese was cow’s milk and therefore could use the bovine but first an elusive beautiful nod to our irish temper buddies, emerald will suffice. i call this pairing of jamesons and 3 year aged cheddar EMERALD BOVINE. delicious. i know hockey players for some reason are into jamesons and pickle juice, the only time of which i’ve tried it i was already gassed so i’m none too sure if it’s any good, is it?

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i just realized that i am starving.

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um that hat is super big for my head i am going to snap it smaller next time.

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jealous.

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starving.

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nice one. i was propositioned in this lounge last summer. had no idea until i blogged it. fool. i could have made some money hahahaha. lordy knows girl done give that shit away fo free howdy doo!

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went down smoother like never before. wuh oh.

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yo relax it’s just food.

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you will not get my cheese.

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good thing yesterday was work out day holy crap.

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tyler got an introduction to my hell at The Motion Room and tomorrow we work out together. i get to exercise with a barenaked lady, i think that means i have arrived? nahh we friends, he lives in the naybe of TMR (the junction) all the cosmos have aligned everybody wins. happy times.

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the assessment. see me in the corner over there?

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i am a swedish ninja.

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i know how hard this is (the worst ten minutes of your life, not as bad as inclined treadmill ugh) so i am very proud. guy is going to inspire so many. lives the good life like a king, i say you’re a celebrity you need a personal trainer so come get sculpted raymbo styles and he’s all, game on wayne (rayme).

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i better watch myself tonight then, i remember what boozebag work outs are like, no fun.

ya let me see what you (though you probably have eyebrows unlike me now) look like after andrew is done with you. the uglier you come out of the trenches, the more alien-like sculpted your torso shall be.