FREE YOGURT TODAY!

1-3pm! 875 Eglinton Ave. W Maybe spot-a Raymi? At the Brand new Bathurst and Eglinton location of Yogurty’s! ENJOY!

Hi Little Raymis! Welcome to Yogurty’s, mecca of premium low-fat frozen yogurt.

Love it! Looking at one photo of myself I exclaimed LOVE IT without even noticing their branding. Double adorable.

GREAT design taste.

We begin the process. This was FUN. The variety of yogurt flavours to choose from is impressive and the thing about Yogurty’s is it’s an ice cream experience, but yogurt. One can barely tell the difference. It’s healthier, classier, just a good vibe all around. Could easily envision a day trip of kids taken here in-between party activities.

and so i dressed for a kindergarden birthday party heehee.

You start with one of these bad boys.

Ha I love watching me do stuff.

Started us both off with a chocolate base.

Banana split for colleague next and I had peanut butter.

I’ve always wanted to be an ice cream girl vendor of some sort. Pizza Hut dessert bar was the best idea they ever had.

I was goin’ bananas. ‘Cept on peanut butter.

That’s the base our Yogurty’s foundation was built upon. I, had a vision.

Toppings galore! This was dinner so I did not skimp on the toppings.

Mine won for being cheaper, came out to just over seven bucks. Colleague’s was over 8. He had lots of fruit. I plied his with those bubble tea balls. The toasted coconut i put on mine was SOOOO GOOD. I didn’t put any sauces on, no need, the yogurt is flavoured enough and I had the guilt bad. Also, happily, I am still a rake today so now we know we can live on yogurt for forever now. ps. they’re on twitter so follow follow if you want to swallow swallow.

Ohh, spooky arty.

Not a bad day at the office there eh bro.

I am SO elated no one bought these from my 10 year blog anniversary party. Raymi didn’t wear wedges then.

FROYO LOVE! who sang for your love, the yardbirds? man i miss mod club at lava lounge now THOSE were the days amiright? To be 19 ahhh.

So true. Two birds one stone girls night out, yogurt, cute facebook photo backdrop, rent a movie, have your time of the month. You’re welcome.

This was after I threw the last third of mine out so as to stop myself. I IMMEDIATELY regretted it.

Aaand there I am doing the deed.

I told you I only eat rainbows. Raymbo Bright.

My last bite swan song.

I colour co-ordinated/differentiated our spoons so that colleague wouldn’t die, he’s got a nut allergy and I had peanut butter as one of my flavours, then topped it off with red velvet. OMG YUM NOM NOM.

trying to discern what the bubble globules are. Delicious all the same.

A fun little treat.

Here’s the history of Yogurty’s:

In 1987, just when frozen yogurt arrived on the scene as a healthy alternative snack, the Yogurty’s concept was created in Toronto. It’s unique concept, featuring rich and creamy frozen yogurt that tastes like ice cream without the fat and fewer calories, was enjoyed by adults and kids alike. It soon became an international sensation with shops around the world. Yogurty’s etched it’s name as being the provider of premium frozen yogurt and today that reputation still stands.

Click to enlarge. They’re called popping Bobas. FUN! Filled with juice.

Not to mention are adorable.

You feel crazy by this point and totally stoked to taste your Frankenstein Yogurty creation.

I was very delighted and impressed with the quality of the joint, decor, atmosphere and overall experience and you will be too. Just look at the joy beatifically emanating from my golden cupcake self.

It’s brand new, so new they’re building new all around it. Summer is the season for construction. This Location is at 1703 Avenue Road 416.789.5005. You’ll love it!

things got a bit pin-up. practise. my legs made me feel like a giraffe. i was like, hip length to short guy’s heads, more like my knees were at their heads when they were lounging down so then i had to do a slow gallop trot and dive into my lounge chair. appearing on a patio is brutal i wish we could be teleported. there is NO cool arrival, everyone is laced with insecurity and panic I LOVE IT! your turn at the gates is penance for the shameless people watching. people are my bread and butter.

so addicted to tiki now. am deluding self from reality that live in siberian climate for 8 months of the year. in the words of diane keaton SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE!

i minimized our hang time here cos i was getting comatose. great scene, great roof, great action to watch. drunk dudes going up to clusters of boring mean girls and striking out while you’re lying on a couch with palm trees everywhere. lois and mum need to be taken here.

iphone pics are terrible, you suck! my blackberry ones are better. bberries are to pc what iphones are to mac, yes?

poseur practise on a low couch, v good for photos if done right, anything too high or too low is better for you. reg level couch does horrible things to your thighs. haha it sounds like i can make up any old shit about photography. IT’S WISE TO HOLD A BANANA WHEN STANDING IN FRONT OF A BLUE BACKDROP.

the food was not the best unfortch but that’s only cos i have super duper high standards and am a bitch about cuisine. you can’t just stop at the steak when the entree is so pricey. the quinoa was COLD and bland, zero flavour and the salad was a joke. be better.

we had a fun time. i didn’t feel like drinking though but i’m going away again so got to get the hangs in when ya can. today is packed, i am behind schedule and my shit is all over the house in boxes the inside of my brains right now looks like peewee’s playhouse i mean fuck that, the inside of this hosue IS peewee’s playhouse. my junk was piled down by the door and this beta yuppie couple was like huh??? at it (not v bright) and i go yeah i am moving in now. officially. meanwhile it looked like a pile of arts and crafts supplies, a milk crate of cds, total dorm room styles with garbage bags piled AHAHAHAHHAHHAAhAHHAH awesome. skid is in the hood!

and then as we were bbqing a girl had to walk through the house to climb our roof to get into the place she and her boyfriend were housesitting, they lost keys, didn’t want to be mortified to call the whoever owns the place so subjects gf to humiliation by begging to walk through ours to get to the roof. she’s like oh you’re moving in? teacher goes no, my gf is and i just so happen to ACCIDENTALLY look up from my tandoori chicken wings box dismantling recycle phase one of and we make eye contact which makes her feel obliged to be SUPER NICE TO ME out of respect for queen bee household territory which forced me to play it cooool despite in my head being a hive of moving aggression mania sure fine climb a roof we’re blasting tunes what’s next a gorilla? in short, the crazy caribana moving weekend was overwhelming but i am relieved the move is finished now i have to avoid the boxes everywhere with my eyes cos i have no time to unpack.

cos i’m too busy doing this!

and that!

can’t wait to get my nails on you.

got these for teach during nxne. so white. matched my shorts.

see how my photo is loads better?

maybe it’s cos i didn’t have an appetite after eating at cafe taste with melodie and then yogurt before that but the jerk wings had a flavour that i did not dig. they weren’t horrible but i have ostentatious jerk standards.

raymbo vision. virtual reality raymbo vision. speaking of that, before kurt bit the dust, in the book come as you are his vision of the pre-internet future was virtual reality machines and at parties people would put them on or interact with them and that will be the dawn of the new digital technology era. i imagine he was largely out of touch with internet at the time, probably said this around 1992 maybe sooner? i tried to imagine that and it’s pretty retarded if you ask me i think i watched a CBC doc about the internet and future made in the 90’s and it’s the same thing kurt cobain (albeit wholly inaccurate) predicted and it is hilarious and cringeworthy.

teacher has lost a lot of weight since he met me and it’s making me look bad. one chick, the chick, who was throwing me under the bus made a comment about it so now i am like you must eat every hour and no exercise either. he said he’s going to eat smart food and ice cream while i’m gone. he seriously looks like a pencil.

and what with the slutty way i dress now we’re like a eurotrash couple prancing the streets. eurotrashed. one time teacher got so loaded on absinthe in vienna on a school trip they had to walk him down the street and he was yelling at everyone, to people in a window YOU MAY HAVE THE WINDOW BUT WE HAVE THE STREET. i’ll save the black out sleepwalk pissing story from our last night in thunder bay for another day lolz.

and i forgot to give her my keys after all that. knew it. sitting there i’m like i should give her the keys right now before i forget. i’ll drop them off when i get my bike.

love cafe taste parkdale needs a spot like this, and so they do.

not a marlborough wine but made in the region (new zealand), good enough for me and it’s jeremy’s fave, or one of, i didn’t have the attention span last night to listen to anything about anything.

bruschetta special. goat cheese beneath. yesterday was the day of dairy for me. i had yogurt for dinner. that post is next. it’s late cos colleague didn’t lighten the pics and that is not good enough for me. but he’s making good on collecting a new nella bella bag for me for my san diego blogher convention trip (i fly tomorrow)(staying at the hard rock!) hope i get this one! ps. erica ehm is on my flight!!! i have a hair appt at Brennen Demelo at 4.

v nice fem dress. lovely girl date.

i love patio privacy. people arrived as we were settling up. it’s nice to eavesdrop in and out of their conversations. see how ADD i am i notice EVERYTHING. it’s why i’m fucking insane.

forget what that cheese is, but it’s the stinkiest, afterward we had the metis and the bread is flax honey something this cheese is delicious and my fingers smelled like lesbian for the rest of the night.

see mum i did NOT give away your stupid zara shades. you should have reminded me that one pair was caramel which will fully match my new bag if it’s the one i get. i have always been into nude cos it gets you a lot of attention (double takes makes you look newd, duh), is cosmetic and not so common.

what’s up queen and duffs.

haven’t worn these shorts in awhile. i like the dryer fresh. kinda starched. fairy godmother got me a pair of UO short shorts i haven’t seen yet, new season shorts. i am going to ogle the website to see if i can narrow down which pair she bought based on her description. fashion sleuth.

LOLOLLLLLZ.

teach and i had a fun sloppy shoot with these when i got home. those shots are on mystery camera so stay tuned, until then, get tuned on sundance wines! ha. nice summer wine. pink lemonade flavour and strawberry kiwi. some chicks like lots of sugar so, this will def satiate that.

wore my swarovski hearts.

proper whiskey set-up: neat, single cube, distilled water. now you decide the rest. had a sip of neat, then dunked my cube and threw back my hippie water then let the cube melt a bit while we had a chat. how many irishmen’s hearts can i break when i visit rhonda?

brb!

dress from steph. f21. it’s ridiculous. i cannot at all picture her in this hahaha.

wait’ll you see the little black number from le chateau she also gave me. total xmas party cocktail dress. black. TEENY! awesome. my cougar transformation is expediting.

i am a golden cupcake. in your head when you wear poofy puffy things you feel like a meringue or andie macdowell shitting on someone drily. the chick who plays scarlette in four weddings and a funeral died not too long ago eh. sad. one of my top ten fave movies. can you guess my others? midnight in the garden of good and evil, american beauty, the big lebowski, dirty rotten scoundrels, the professional, a beautiful mind zzzz….

when colleague saw me walk out he was like now that is a dress. from heretoforth it’s nothing but academy award dresses for everything. even at 4 in the morning. i spilled coffee all over myself in the car. it dried by the time we got to our destination.

i think this is sexy face. i’ll work on that.

matches my wedges (sufferin mall) and headband perfs.

these wedges are terrifying and i love them. a monster has been borne. all about heels now. what’s the number of the busted ankle hotline though? ooh i want to watch that catwalk platforms montage video. gruesome! must see again and again! i am waiting for someone to burn me and go oh, i was looking for my drapes. this is totally belle’s dress. wonder who got it for her and if they read my blog.

off to meet mel for a drank and to return my keys and then dinner with teach. where should we go i am all out of restaurants that’s what happens when you’re a foodelite featurette. hmmm, distillery?

anyone want a long time loan of my mattress, it’s super comfortable and expensive so i am not throwing it away. it’s kind of too much, teacher has a deep queen mattress that is so high plus my frame is high and well, look:

uuhhh yeah. executively decided that this will not work.

bye!

y’all are coming to this right? FRIDAY AUGUST 12 i have a couple VIP booths with bottle service to entice some shy perverts out there and i am considering having MINX tattooed on my arm this night. it’s FREE before 11PM. i also have VIP guest list spots for some before 12AM. i’ll be closing the show. i want to see if i can get pyrotechnics hahahaha. i am going to be doing a sultry frida kahlo or whatever that woman with the bananas in her hair’s name is. i need maracas too and lots of hype girls so come and dress up, think indie moulin rouge. or just wear whatever but you know i like to create moments. so to clarify, if you email and rsvp you’ll be on the guest list and it’ll be no problem.

Roxanne – A Burlesque Show Presented by STARLIGHT BURLESQUE

Time

Friday, August 12 at 10:00pm – August 13 at 2:00am

Location

Tattoo Rock Parlour
567 Queen St. W.

No guestlist, no problem! $10 @ the door.

i’ve always LOVED this dance salma hayek does in from dusk til dawn. v inspirational. i saw this super young and that’s when i knew i was going to be an erotic performer of some sort.

new client today. yum yum yogurt!

welcome to a boring and cute pictures of cats post.

i’m sending this to meg at cuteoverload. she used to post pics of cid all the time and that cat was fat with a tiny head, grey cat is loads more adorable (sorry cid)(and attacks me 100% times less) with human facial expressions. this cat is going places. ok i just wrote her a stupid email i hope she buys it.

post move relax bbq.

the roof was a reward like no other.

tandoori chicken wings, smokey bbq and hashbrowns with lots of dips and sauces cos i am sauce central (not that no compliments one that’s been up there a year i think and i don’t do the no name thing, i call compliments NO COMPLIMENTS i take sauces seriously sauces and juices). chicken meatballs too SO GOOD!

carnage.

bit by bit it’s getting there. mostly it’s my clothes and other junk i had hidden in cupboards.

teacher’s kind of a slob too and has been needing to get rid of junk in his closets so it’s extra messy from that and from nonstop lives for months.

i am hoping the velveteen of the couch will dissuade the cats from clawing it. the dog will be another story.

totally happy about the couch.

i don’t think a cat has ever been on it. right now they’re both cashed out on it i am stopping myself from taking a picture cos i am seriously refusing to turn into a hermit cat photo blog. once a month tops.

she was sleeping. purr sleeping. such a happy cat.

nuzzle forevs.

and now five years later i will finish this painting. that’s kerouac’s typewriter. diamonds are not even in vogue anymore bahaha.

shitty overexposed photo of a retarded cat. great!

the ferry fairy.

the mountain fairy.

the garbage sale fairy.

these chicks are awesome.

someone explain this to me please. thanks gerard! i’ll sumarize it for you in case you don’t have time: communism bad! fascism good! well, capitalism but fascism is funnier teacher said.

Communism?
You are not usually that politically provocative. The card asking the question is from some Library Meeting room. Librarians are among the most passive aggressive social engineering political extremists on the planet and very aloof people in general.
People that oppose Communism are afraid if it. Afraid for good reason too. Mass re-distribution of wealth against the will of the people or with the will of an indoctrinated people that has come to accept Communism as normal is a pitiful reality in much of the world. It is very polarizing also. The cliche stating that Communism works until they run out of people to take the wealth from is all too true.
Communism is well explained in literature, but there is a problem studying it. Sources of literature on studying Communism have become very skewed and political in and of themselves. I’d suggest old school textbooks from before 1950 to get a fair definition of Communism….g

dunzo rapunzel.

nice room, curtains opened. i’ll miss it.

it’ll be interesting to see how the new girl works with that space.

and now i am reunited with my princess dream bed.

finally rid of that ugly glass busted junky table and the cat has a new cubby.

ok back to work i have to start practising walking in my other higher wedges and unpack all my tickletrunk treasures and maybe go for a run. bye bye!

we sat in the car for an hour to get to adventurehouse. cos of construction and caribana holy crap never move on caribana fyi. i can run to advhaus in 5 minutes.

quite an interesting day to move and have a yard sale what with caribana and shootings and hammer beatings happening right down the street and around the corner. i gave a pair of shoes to a girl for free cos she lost hers in a stampede chasing after her niece. likely when that shooting happened. bush league right, jesus. they were my grey/black leopard flats and fit her perfectly she got pretty emotional when i asked if she was ok, still stunned from the happening. we’re kind of used to that bullshit over in this naybe and is somewhat expected during caribana. sad but true.

meanwhile have some fruit!

ill miss cind and reg’s car out back.

lots of caribana girls. great costumes.

hello kitty caribana can you imagine?

i don’t even remember who bought or stole this nor does anyone else recall how it disappeared but it’s funny how obsessed you get with selling something, even if for just 2 dollars, take it idiot it’s practically free, never been worn, yeah you got a bit of a gut bit this’ll look awesome on you and nevermind why the hell they blatantly selling a gift i gave to lucas in front of me anyway. bad garage sale etiquette dudes. i didn’t care. next time no souvenirs lesson learned.

by the end of the day we were just giving it all away for free people couldn’t believe it, trust guy, there’s triple this inside.

so much more inside, things i should totally be selling but it was too late and no point. i’ll get more money for my junk elsewhere. is bellwoods having another marketplace thing? fuck that i can just do it alone. with balloons and hot girls.

my aunt was a huge help to me, so organized and thorough i was just going to put everything in garbage bags and deal with it never haha.

two little raymis were fighting over this bag and i didn’t have the time to deal with it RAYMI@RAYMITHEMINX.COM if you want it still. it’s roxy.

steph gave me that shirt.

i got a nice little bundle of shirts and stuff off the roommates pretty sweet including this retro two-piece suit i dunno where i’ll wear it.

pool table at the airport. lets get there early so we can play snooker! totally! pfft right.

the point of these fabulous shots was the mountain. i think i am mountain obsessed.

i like how my hair looks here. i am happy no one bought my wedges i almost sold, the ones i bought for wakestock now that i know how to walk in them. those puppies are way more stacked platform than my steve maddens. stoked. i tried them on for my aunt yesterday. also i have her old wooden clogs. SUMMER OF RAYMI!

this is the part when i started going crazy. i only had one cupcake then the most syrupy pina colada ever then i said fuck it and started dancing to adele and a girl turned the song off on me and i froze and she turned it to a shittier song and i went to sit down and she goes oooooh you’re mad at me come dance with me now! trying to pull me off the couch, i don’t know what she turned the song to but it was horribly undanceable i looked at her and said I WAS DANCING. teacher just looked at me and said yup, that happened as in mean girl shit. it was intentional.

after the mountain. wiped and refuelling.

i’m the only one who got sun on this deck, it wiped me out even more, well, just made me mellow i really enjoyed it. glad i showered i was deteriorating rapidly into mountain garbage.

creepy photos. steph is holding a pina colada and wisely put more ice in it. tasted like a white freezie smothered in malibu rum. like shards of slashed ice. it was interesting. not creamy milky like a typical pina colada and i couldn’t taste any booze by this point in the trip so i was like is there even a point here i don’t know if i’ll even get ripped from this acid reflux-inducing delight. it was bottomless but i think i managed 3/4 of it.

one of my favourite parts was night walking.

very dreamy nostalgic and still, in the sumer night. perf doobie walk basically if one was wont to do that then pop in a copy of daze & confused.

classic canadian carhole party.

another new steph shirt. soo tight! brand new. she has a specific style so i get all her weird girly frock shirts. yay!

i gave her a pair of new flip flops from ON, bronze. she spilled beer on the van couch.

it’s interesting when guys “decorate”.

this is an awesome banner cos he’s not the only son, there are three, and he’s not even the favourite son either bahahha. everyone in thunder bay is hilarious by the way, lot of ripping and jokes, you gotta have tough skin to hang there, fuck, i can barely take it ahahha.

and then i was a banshee.

not spunk. it was a persian fiest. once you have one you cannot stop.

this is us leaving thunder bay for red rock. we were pumped.

oh yeah heard the dumbest thing at the coffeeshop, a girl said i HEARD from my friend who has a place in toronto and like, in parkdale i think, they left their door open and came home to a crackhead smoking crack in there. teacher and i just stared at her this hipster wannabe thing. yeah, because when we leave doors open in the city a silent crackhead dog whistle sounds and crackheads (who never actually HAVE crack btw) materialize out of the bushes and side streets and zero in on your house exclusively to get lit, and by the way NO ONE LEAVES DOORS OPEN IN TORONTO MAYBE MORONS FROM THUNDER BAY WITH APARTMENTS IN PARKDALE haha actually i have a few friends who stupidly leave their doors unlocked and have only been broken into twice and robbed and attaced altogether three times BUT that’s besides the point you cannot talk about toronto like that much like i can’t talk about thunder bay like that. the toronto hatred is this: they don’t actually know shit about toronto so they make up fables as facts and they’re just angry we make the decisions for them and think the province should be split in half and meanwhile crackheads are thumbin’ their noses at ya right? ps. the term crackhead is politically incorrect. it’s crack addict for future, they have feelings too and are humans. if you live in a sheltered bubble you cannot throw stones.

doing my nails a random hodge podge which coincidentally (kismet) trend-swept the netz. i left two nails bare, one thumb gold from a bottle i tested and then two other shades oh i forget. i am obsessed with getting the right fluorescent pinks and oranges now and i haven’t got my bottle off paddy yet. there’s also a troll obsessed with telling me i have cellulite too. please guy, you either get that at like 20 or you don’t i don’t understand why some woman has to attack me mischa barton style like what if i have a ripple and then the rest is smooth? is that ok with you do you have to tell me this in my comments? does the world stop spinning if you don’t wound my heart?

parking lot hang!

cellulite? hmm nope. thank you come again!

ok i’ve been sitting around naked long enough gotta get back to moving world now. man you really learn who your friends aren’t on these special fun moving days right.

alos there’s this thing. total stripper gear. the top took a bit of patience to figure out, tying it between your bewbs what?

i am going for a suicidal run tomorrow. watch out.

not exactly a thong in the back but pretty skimpy. i don’t care much for the pirate thing but it’s fun so whatever. may come in handy for something.

Hi Raymi,

Bronwyn

oh i dont upstage i have lots of tens and 8s as friends and im just happy to be in people’s company if they just let me be me yeah? i’ll take any hello kitty junk off your hands. i like that we are still in touch. i have nothing but positive fond memories of you. im going to post your message on my blog if you’re cool with that. would absolutely love to catch up for real sometime. still the same person just changing hahah. a bit delirious waiting to board for tbay right now. xoxo

the kerouac bar with the classic “mad ones” quote in the middle of the bar on a chalkboard.

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”

now being a relative (and for some reason not being allowed to talk about it cos of the snotty ways of others) and having a drink here, it was pretty neat. more so from the stir i caused walking in all long legged and boogie nights. i changed in the bathroom. i don’t care if it’s a kerouac-inspired bar, i didn’t see one bohemian, maybe some local hipsters with a better than you vibe emanating around them like a forcefield. the only person i wanted to talk to was whomever put the quote up, named the joint, actually gives a shit and is the kerouac fanatic.

lots of eligible dudes in thunder bay, ladies, not bad seeming catches either, though in every town, in every “best of” watering holes you’ll find these people during happy hour on a friday. i have more pictures of dude clusters staring at me but yeah, no need.

what am i supposed to do though, say hey i’m your girl everywhere i go? i think it’s tacky. i know many other big mouths who scream that they’re a blogger a mille down the road before you even meet them, talk themselves up waaay bigger than necessary or is even factual as for me, i’m ten years patient with this racket. in slow towns the only concern there is is survival so take your social media and fuck right off. i figured the owner might be slightly stoked to have a legit living writing kerouac bumblemouth in the house but we didn’t have much time nor will. i don’t like that mad house quote much anyway, i did as a juvenile, and i fully wholly get the blatant meaning behind it but i am hesitant to pay too much homage to the frivolous mad ones cos i respect hard work which is more than required to get your mad little art out into the world, recognized, and influence and i’m talking influence supreme not circle jerk ass kissing your way to the top and fangirling everything.

i knew if i revealed myself as a kerouac looking the way i do, it just isn’t fair. it’s crazy. sometimes you feel bigger than yourself and you can see their mind made up about you before you cross the threshold and you have to make a choice to either sequester in the corner or own it. i typically choose corners where i can watch them back and make up little stories, vignettes, and be amused by their banal observations and incorrect facts. the dawson’s creek theme song moved a woman to say that it reminded her of dawson’s creek. i think i am just addicted to fucking with older men and am endlessly attracted by them and so, every move in life i make revolves slightly around that and women get caught in the crosshairs. i started this blog to allure men, (minx duh) make money off them and then by 21 i’d be a rich p0rn mogul but then women started reading my blog and hating on me, so i fought with them and ughhhhhhhhhh hahaha. teacher and i are both insane today cos i’m moving in. he just had an anxiety attack up on the deck and i am paralyzed in fear with piles of stuff to bring to adventurehouse to sell where melodie is waiting and my aunt is coming too. i will be drinking coronas until the 12 pack is empty. come have a drink and leave with some gear. raymi@raymitheminx.com for the addy we we will be accessible by internet why am i writing like i’m going to narnia?

i am a little glum today, and excited, as a chapter of my life is closing in form of a room i had that aided in my re-emergence to toronto from my hiatus from all that other stuff of my past. when i read kerouac as a teen it wasn’t until i had moved on did i learn more and more facts about the dude, like, he had a wife the entire time, he never really wrote about her, the books i bothered to read or it wasn’t made apparent. he omitted people from his life when he wrote and i chose to do the opposite and because of that i have a growing, evolving, ever-expanding cast of characters to work with. i can exploit my relationships and home life with men, scandalize my comings and goings, make fun of my mom, i have an entire army if i want of real people you’ve seen over the years. you can choose sides when we divorce. you can creep these people and steal my contacts and get under my skin. i’ve been hurt and fucked over over the years cos of how naive i am with people. i think i know them all, i let them in, and then they take from me and i never learn but at least i get to write about them, that’s their value and currency to me. some, their blog shelf life ends v quickly for various reasons and some get so wrapped up in this bloggy game they begin to think that my blog should feature them MORE when “xyz” event had absolutely nothing to do with them. they’re so caught up in this world, more so than me, it kills friendships. this “it’s just a blog guy, take a relax pill” is so much more than a blog now.

thanks kris!

Hi Lauren –

You, if anyone, would appreciate this:

i get kerouac emails daily. i’m not going to censor myself about my own bloody blood relation cos some dork hipster or shitty troll who has been reading forever already knows the inner depths of my soul: kerouac, omfg went to school in england blalbbhala because some people DON’T KNOW, haven’t been following along and you know what, it means something to people, kerouac does, and so do i. plus, in my business, you never pass up an opportunity to self-promote, even and especially on your own damn channel. yes i am a damn good writer and can write circles around you if need be. how many blog style articles to you read weekly in magazines, who do you think started that, made it ok and enjoyable to read and write like you speak? writing is not only an art, it is a power and a friend. it will take you away from your foul life and mood, shunning boyfriend in a coffeeshop for a good half hour, whether you are reading or writing so don’t undermine it. do you care about hashtags or hash? hahah kidding.

i am 21 here.

and here. no wait, 22. when i published my first book.

some photos of myself break my heart and i can’t tell you why. not here on a shitty blog at least. it isn’t worthy ahah not worthy of my precious secret endearing thoughts.

see you at the yard sale. head for parkdale. look for the beatniks. no, look for caribana hot babes i am staring at PACKS of them out the window. hmm maybe i’ll run to advhaus.

CUCKOOBANAS IS BACK!