Watching Home Alone. Ordering second pizza from dominoes. Stress eating! I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing out of my ass!

Ome same delivery guy just came. whatever the last one was flat crust and not satisfactory. We got bacon on this one with reg crust omfg so fat. Can’t watch Home Alone and resist the cheese pizza delivery scene.

The rest of Nana’s visit are at the bottom too. Bet you are stoked!

SO need a pedicure, but again, it matches something.

These guys are teeny.

Comes in three parts.

I went bananas when he brought this shit in.

Progress as we left it at my dad’s.

Wizard Lebowski.

And now the rest from Nana’s.

That tree is massive. I want it! Tree obsessed now.

They were in la la magical memories land, it was sweet. We had fun!

My mom was wearing an exact outfit I wore here at 18, funny. Hailey is wearing my old shirt. I styled these shots.

Nana was like now what happened to you Luhhren (we were very late) and I squeezed her very tight and said nothing nana, NOTHING AT ALL and she giggled and knew to not start with me. Ha! WiN! My mom taking this photo was like what did she say what did she say!?? So nosy and shit disturbing.

Aw I love my fam. Everyone’s chilled out over the years.

We polished off that wine with my nana and papa and she made a carrot cake from scratch. It’s a nana thing!

Dangly fake tea cakes ah my gad I die! I love beatrix potter mice make believe gingerbread house fat face candy land etc type things. obvi.

Nana said she didn’t grow because of WWII, they were rationed. Aw. #WWIIproblems. lol j/k.

They loved this dude. They like proper people manners class blabbity blah so naturally I have to sit there with my hands stuffed under my ass or squeezing my entire body together to behave omg it is tough haha.

Ooh nice one.

My mom bought this for my nana and pointed that out then I pointed out this elaborate bird in a gorgeous gild cage that I bought. It’s an I BOUGHT competition always forever the end stamped it no erasies.

Vogueing and decorating.

Three generations. GAY!

AWW!

Ok that’s it bye bye now!

I am in full on love with my hair right meow and this is a post in progress I am rushing because Burlesque practise and Bunny is (coming over) happening soon, can you blog with a monkey on your back? I am finding it increasingly harder and harder lately. Maybe I need a break? I don’t take breaks. If you break then your rank plummets. I am driven and insane, a perfectionist, and I won’t have time tomorrow to talk about myself as much here. Now lets do this. ps. this picture reminds me of Claire Danes in the Family Stone.

Stop attempting to sabotage shit that is clearly working in whining about dark haired Raymi. Dudes that was a decade ago, we have moved on to tinsel town now and long platinum locks. I look bad with short hair and I am not even going in to territory of short hair chicks vs long cos I got a lot of pals with short hair, different strokes for different folks.

This one is haunting and shitty. I used to take pictures of myself in this parking lot a few years ago (2 or 3?) and was struck by my past while sitting in the car before going to my dad’s.

My tree!

And now backlit.

Nana said I have to do her tree every year now. Ok, but I am not taking it down.

Beads always go on first, or garland.

The star wobbles around up there but is all good now. Luckily I have tin man nail polish, my toolbox is impressive. (I do not have a toolbox).

He bought it all yesterday morning, I think doing my nana and papa’s tree was the final straw in planet Christmastown whereas I have been complaining about cleaning first which will never happen. I do’t even know if we’ll have room on this tree for my decorations. That we will never remember to get from dad’s. Meh.

Stella got fed every time nana got up. She is fat and laying it on thick now that she is pure spoiled (my fault) and is walked way less cos it’s cold out and I am lazy. Overweight dog owners have an advantage over other overweight non-dog owners. If your dog is fat, you probably are too. Red fat flag.

Papa snipped these last roses out of Nana’s garden this week! Amazing. He is adorable (and Jack Kerouac’s cousin) we had a very nice visit and chat, he spoke a lot about how people have compulsions and just have to do what they’re meant to do (like Celine Dion’s career addiction) or how Frank Sinatra sang right up until he died, this convo was laced with all kinds of double meaning I just held on tight and was like, yeah, totally relate (I dream about my blog :(). Raymi Trolls always make jokes about me repeating things about England or Jack Kerouac (which is hilarious cos of the things I am most repetitive about on a day-to-day basis those two topics are least referenced or used in discussion) but it’s because there are always new readers coming here and I want to impress them, not the same old you lot who know what beneath my fingernails looks like, yeah you know it all already, here is your medal. Have you never repeated a story before?

My nana typically makes a comment about my appearance, if I look tired or fat when I’m not even remotely close to fat cos it’s more of a burn on my xs clothing and skin showing, but not this time! Prob cos I was doing a task for her.

Total british supper. Teacher was like, what is Yorkshire pudding actually? and Nana goes, it’s a british thing. Fair enough. I said I don’t eat potatoes and so he thought it was also potatoes. It’s a batter that you bake and it fluffs up into a crazy bready thing, also carbs. Meh I don’t have it every day.

I remember decorating the tree here as a kid. Sigh.

Little little Hailey the hipster has long arms like me.

Papa had all these ancient tree decorating wisdoms and tips heheh. The tree theme is peach and white and gold.

On the phone to MTV yesterday they’re like, don’t wear green. But I just got a new green shirt. Ha. I was joking, I am going to dress like a whore. This is an xs, Teacher bought me one in white too but a small, might be too bulky. Maybe I can wear this and a g-string for my solo to the grinch song. Have to start planning wardrobe. We are doing a trio to White Christmas with Pastel.

Putting up our pre-lit tree. So worth it to have it all sorted out like that, looks very clean like we stole it decorations and all from The Bay.

Aw My Friend.

With a half hour til the mall closing he went and destroyed Old Navy. My boyfriend is my stylist. Ha. Major sale, calls me and is like what do I get? I dunno! Everything in small or extra small!

I have two mangy white sweaters that I love and need dearly to replace, I only ever shop in the burbs now. Do you like all my weird routines? Me too.

If we add any more it may be too tacky but do I ever half-ass anything? I think the black sparkly ones I have will look so dope on this thing and all my dirtbag friends will be like SICK! Baha. Def having an xmas party here, maybe even new years? We’ll see what the majority rule is. Also want to go to Quebec City again! Who is in?? Teacher has school off like all Teachers do so lets give’r in MTL again.

All the pics I took of it last night kinda sucked. Mystery Camera let me down. Some are neat but only the art faggy show off ones like omg close-ups of branches call the AGO we have a trailblazer over here.

Stella is very pumped today and every day, she thinks I am a giant talking whatever food scraps I last fed her, a potato chip with arms and legs, that feta thing, but not anymore, we are restricting now. Yesterday the only extra food she got was a handful of dry cat food after we went out in the rain.

Muppet Christmas Carol is a fav of mine. I played Scrooge in the xmas play at school in grade 6 and killed it, my accent was good. As we were trying out for the play and being given random parts to read I positioned myself such that I would be given Scrooge and knew that I would get the role, my booming british rendition made some kids sneer in a why didn’t I think of that kind of way? Why would you read your part in your pre-pubescent regular dorky ass voice? You’re going to get the role of someone who points, and says nothing.

Someone is getting ballsier in their joining us on the couch.

There is a method to mix n matching nail polishes on your nails, also, pinks and green (watermelon) contrast gorgeously. Do you understand colours? Not being snotty here just wondering cos it is a skill for sure. Lots of people are colour blind or clueless. You know my green romper? Some people think it’s grey and my periwinkle thigh highs as grey ok that’s not too far a stretch but, I guess, what comes naturally to some doesn’t to others. There is a method to my madness with bold colours that mismatch but then somehow match. You tie it together with a purse and shoes, a hat. Omg I just bored myself to death.

They’re all fuzzy and too warm. The blanket is in focus. I was being too spazzy and click happy in quantity, not quality.

This is my baby light. It does the trick!

Stella is feeling the tree but perplexed cos it’s in her doggy bed corner.

Another tree trick is putting the ornaments on the interior branches, we have lots of posh dangly ones so I did that with them. It’s gorgeous I want to hug it.

Well, it does look artistic ‘cept focused on the wrong thing.

Baha. I still love it though. I did these all first, FIRST. MARTYR YES. ME.

I made a joke that how Teacher bought this place was the real estate agent was like, now, do you like Christmas? If so then do I ever have the place for you, it’s like a perfect stage for Christmas.

You cannot fit enough presents in those I need to get a bigger Hello Kittier one.

Do you think they called her Hello Kitty because she was used as a teaching aid for japanese people learning english, now, what is this on this flash card here? “Oh. Hello, Kitty!” Is this racist? Whatever.

Kiefer Sutherland can come over and dive-bomb my tree any time.

I think Hello Kitty would love our tree.

Brunch Bonanza!

I am an adult who eats brunch now, while real adults beside me drink pints because they had brunch at breakfast time.

I still can’t get over accidentally telling our burlington waitress to fuck off over email this week and having zero recollection of it (when you are a techno kid it’s ingrained to just reply to people without thinking and actually is becoming a problem, second to sleep texting) but she didn’t mind, like, at all. I just sat there stunned and mortified and then she lovingly treated us all like her children and stacked mountains of buffet goodies on our plates. My dad laughed and laughed, I think they had a show down one day themselves and she thinks my dad swore at her too. Hey lady it runs in the family. We are regulars now and the Croat owner was happy to see me. There’s a drama club that brunches there too and I have figured out (with zero hard fact to back it up) it is because of the Justin Long look-a-like who serves in his shorts with a professional smile plastered to his face and dotes on all the cotton heads like they’re Versailles high society. Like I said, we adore this place.

No, not this place where I am presently sitting. This one is a little less small towny charm. Our bacon was stone cold. No big deal, they sent more, steaming sizzlingly hot this time. We are going to film a mini movie short here called the Bacon Jinx. Mark my words. Can’t give it away but it’s an inside retarded hangover joke type thing. How else do SNL writers get skit idea (other than my blog) inspiration? From real life. Next up is one about loading the dishwasher bet you can’t wait!

Another hat score from Adventurehouse garage sale, was almost going to give to Hailey but I love how it brightens my face, I tried it on and we were wowed, blown away. My face is skinnier than it was last winter so I can wear this hat. The end.

I love the Gladstone, we had a lovely brunch.

I’ve had this jersey since I was 16. When I wear it, people hear the story about it for miles and miles.

We are going to have to do something about this mirror situation, we need to see ourselves dance in here and this crappy little thing isn’t gonna cut it. I’ll worry about that tomorrow. That’s my favourite way to deal with things. That’s what Jack Kerouac wrote about the Mexican dudes he tented with in Mexico, Mañana means tomorrow. They didn’t get shit done all season thanks to this epithet. Meh life is short.

I don’t look so bad for someone who got a total of ten hours sleep in 4 days right? No makeup either.

I will be be very good the next two nights. I have two on camera things on Wednesday and tomorrow is Burlesque rehearsal (DECEMBER 18 IS OUR SHOW PLEASE COME!) so as much as I’d like to put my face in a burger king stacker right meow, I cannot. My mom asked me how I keep my weight off and it’s pretty simple, restrict tons, and when you booze, no beer ever. Watch the carbs, blabbity blah this is boring.

It’s just very annoying being asked what my secret is when some girl comes by my blog once a year or so and asks, all blown away by present day tiny Raymi. Dude you do some of the work and find out yourself by cycling through my archives, that kind of lazy asking me to do it for you attitude is just the very reason why you may be a blob and I am not. You see gradually over time what I am eating or not and how. When I sit down with people to eat and I see how they eat and I then fuckin tell them and meanwhile they’re stuffing potatoes in their face this tells me that they really do not want to get thin so they should just STFU and leave me alone about it. Determination is my secret. Being driven. Then take that and go through my archives because I have given enough. I have several skinny tip posts you can google, guide to nicole richie and how i got skinny.

Bitchy part over, fun time now. I always try to blog and multi-task at the same time which becomes hard to separate emotion from stuff at points, like hearing an annoying anecdote about someone beyond your control, I can’t tune it out so I have to shut down all channels, FB, twitter email, and put my phone on the other side of the room. Sometimes my muses suffocate me. Blog comes first is my rule.

Start a project and people will finish it. Worked for the xmas tree, this gingerbread train and the beatles puzzle. I am a genius.

Hailey’s cards are getting better and better. I said my Christmas card better be three feet tall and feature sparkles and Hello Kitty.

The claymore is upside down.

I wonder what I was eating. I am hungry. I am in a pigging out mood. That’s bad.

This one also collapsed. Not my fault. It looks like a trainwreck. Ha.

This is torturing me. It was a pure Home Alone pizza delivery moment when stacked at the front door by the tree but my dad moved it too quick and I didn’t want to go hey excuse me I have to take a picture of the pizza by the door. Snooze ya lose, blogger.

I knew Linda would help. My role at this party was social butterfly. I did not disappoint.

Whirlwind family weekend. To the max. Spilled right out of a Ghostface hangover. I sent my brother a pic of concert and he was like, that is SO random.

Philly cheesesteak pizza is my fav.

Staring at it helps my present starvation.

Shawn texted that my uncle was “fking hammered” Ha perfect. We had a good time.

Rippin’ on each other all night long.

And my Uncle’s glasses somehow got busted during their game of cribbage. Nice.

This time bet your behind we laid foundation icing and by we I mean them.

Teacher impressed, less heat on me phewf, now fade in to back..ground….

Looks wicked. Shawn had some gum. Ew I remember in the supermarket as a kid I had graham crackers then some gum from a bin and the combo of differing food textures, I have never gotten over it.

It’s always a good idea to play wasted family scrabble everyone always gets along! LOL.

Look it’s the minx who stole christmas appearing! Don’t blink!

I gave her my camera and said go nuts.

That’s a good family portrait, I’d say.

Hailey was reading her diary from three years ago I was like I am DYING to read it!

Ok you are definitely related to me heehee. She gives us attitude it’s funny, for now. Which is exactly how we started out then by fourteen it was irreversible.

That computer is so not long for this world.

Then mom drops in to get Hailey.

That’s the one.

The richest chocolate cake ever.

Dr. Robert time? Ok we have to get something from the car!

Scary Christmas neighbourhood monster!

Ambitious task that we got pretty far with.

The drum took an hour. The different fonts, the design, oy vey.

Poor Ringo, why so glum? Ooh Take out time. Teacher bought a christmas tree this morning on his way to work, he means business. I forgot to get my decorations from my dad’s again. Dad can you find them for me?? Thanks! Bye dudes. Monday Madness is over!

Well I for sure know where my affinity for sparkles comes from.

My hair is awesome!

BRB!!!!! Our place is next for xmas dress-up I don’t know how we’ll dance rehearse in here with a tree. Yeah yeah this post is lacking, it’s Monday so take what you can get. I slept in. I had awful cramps in the morning but now they’re gone, one reason why I slept in so they would go away. Just organizing my week now, tidying, and masterminding blog stuff as uje. See you soon!

ALL BOW DOWN WHEN AUNT RAYMI COMES TO TOWN!

Last night was Ghostface Killah at Sound Academy. I have walked on the CN Tower and survived a hip hop show without getting in a fight, it is safe to say that my balls are bigger. Recanize.

We came we saw we ghetto now. I Made that up sometime ago, no idea, but anyway, it’s an apt caption.

Nutmeg has been my jam for longer than you’ve been reading my blog. Actually, TBH, I started listening to Ghostface just around the time I started this retarded bulletin board. Anyway, the show was increds. I got on stage, just casually walked right on up which makes me realize I could have been standing on stage all this goddamn time at sound academy when I’m back/side-stage for bands I want to stalk/fanatic/groupie, what an idiot I am. Half of it is allowance and the other half is audacity, if you hesitate then security has a chance to consider it like maybe you’re not supposed to be back there going through their rider.

Even Raekwon showed up.

It was bananas.

At one point he said I’ma give you the same energy you give me which is a definite warranted commentary on the Toronto audience as we are known for our narcolepsy during big act performances. Not me personally I am a dance machine. Everyone was too baked I bet. Very well-mannered crowd though.

Wu Tang clan aint nuthing ta fuck wit.

Another backstage vantage point, I try not to make eye contact until I am really loaded. They all rubberneck you trying to figure out who or what you are, why you are there. Because I am planet awesome.

It was amazing to stand and dance up here and one of the hoochie girlfriends of one of these guys, maybe Raekwon’s? hugged me and said she had to pee so bad and I was like girl, this is the moment, you cannot leave now. I had to piss bad too but I was ON STAGE WITH GHOSTFACE KILLAH. I sucked my bladder in to the periphery of my mind and was as street as possible because flanking each side of me were the hardcorest thuggiest (but like big teddy bears nice?) of bros, I was like, thank god I am wearing all my bling tonight. Foresight baby. I almost got my card in Ghosty’s hand but his woman was.not.feeing.me so it wasn’t worth it, I backed off. I looked like a smarmy twat anyway.

Red shirt had a crush on me I think. Just let me think that.

That’s Prince Killah, I patted him on the back (so softly he barely noticed) but it was one of those things where bros are like ya nice lyrical freestylings turn at the mic guy, pat pat, just puttin’ you on notice that I noticed.

More footage and shots and whatever on Alicia and Teacher’s respective capturing devices. They did a good supreme clientele medley and Cherchez la Ghost my fav. I don’t know any other records but doesn’t matter it was all good live.

It’s my goal in life to see every idol of mine or meet them, so far I am doing pretty good. Just as long as they don’t die before I get a chance at them. Speaking of, Old Dirty Bastard’s son was there too!

This shirt is so small and tight it’s elasticity is being tested to the limit, it’s a shiny shirt and so not the intention of it I bet. I was dressed like Little Italy last night, tight tank and suspenders.

Pose girl child or face possible stupidity in the bg there.

We were like the only VIPs ‘cept for a few other dudes up there, a corporate function was happening up where the VIP area is and they were not stoked about a rap concert blaha. Idiots. Don’t book a corporate event on a Friday night, that’s selfish.

Ok these are what I uploaded at like 3 or something. The aftermath of the show was bullshit, no cabs, ghost town. I screamed at beck 4 times, separate calls I did. They were refusing to send more cabs, and i have 1. never heard that before and 2. that has never happened at SA before. I don’t want to make it a thing (do) but we had to go to the Distillery for a cab in subzero temperatures and I burnt my hand on a heating lamp when I was holding my hands up eavesdropping on the worst drunken convo ever, Teacher patted me on the back like, it’s almost over chum we’ve almost made it and SIZZLE. Beehive burnt imprint on my palm. Another cool story from your home girl.

Burlington time!