Okay maybe this phone is a little bit big. You comin’ Friday? Come party with meee! I will be on display behind the bar all night long where you will be guaranteed a locked-in gander. Tanya is djing and bartending too.

I have our lips sorted out! #lipbar. #popup. Look how amazing and full my lips are. Now picture me wearing Glitzy Lips. Now picture an entire sexy bar like Salvador Darling packed with chicks all in Glitzy Lips. *obsessively rubs hands machiavelliany*. I’m skyping with GL later for an application tutorial demonstration! Shannon has an LED hoola hoop. Serious business man.

Back to editing ma piece. Peace!

We made a podcast last night. I think it was pretty good for my first time. It will be available on itunes for download, I’ll let you know. The show is called In the minx. Cute right! I’m channeling my inner Chelsea Handler how I used to be on the internet before people started bashing me to smithereens. I divulge some insider stuff, shout out some of you guys, a varietal audio experience. Yep.

Before that, honey grapefruit chicken, homemade, very good.

The trick to a posterior like mine is winter. Sitting on it. Come spring we’ll be all taught again I ain’t worried and I find that the extra juicy I be rocking, dudes do not care. I just can’t fit in to my jeans anymore is all ahah so I’m all about black tights. I don’t care. I’ve cared for so long I think I am allowed a bit of a break. I see in some chat hateraymi threads people say they liked me better when I was fat anyway. Yeah right. You can’t please everyone on the internet, you never will. Give up. Please yourself. Those who stare at the world through a computer screen cant help themselves by being incensed all the time by menial things blogger’s say. They can’t just be delighted in the story they are being told.

Shoe meme.

It’s good to move, stay limber. Sometimes I can’t not twirl.

I got blisters walking across the city again today. Not in these. But my docs. The trick is to do your thing in the east end then walk to the west. I demolished a brownie and marched. I was almost hit by a car eek my bad, totally my fault, not used to the city anymore if you can believe it. My head was in the clouds and I was vibing to my music. It was embarrassing kind of (a lot) and I learned a lesson. Sometimes sidewalks end. I would have been smoked out just like that and no one would know. Put things in perspective.

My heart was racing the more distance I put between myself and the intersection I walked over to a bench and removed some of my boho chic slob layers and turned off my ipod for a bit as a means to chastise myself for that dumb move. I was probably listening to the black keys at the time and half-expected a cop to give me a ticket for being an idiot which I’d have gladly albeit sheepishly paid.

Adore this phone but can you tell me how to instagram filter pics without posting them? Can I use the program without blasting pics to it I just wanna edit them I love it hardcore now.

Interesting outfit choice to walk around in today mixed review. Different hood’s reactions to it changing respectively, naturally.

Tho this panda bear don’t really care. Have a great evening. RLW.

Roots.

@_@.

You had me at London Fog. Brain fogs. My favourite places. I frequented this coffee shop every morning when he’d go to work then sit and blog three times daily in our apt on Lakeshore. I had a lot of traffic, and still. It is addictive. Like being alone and thinking about shit you did when you weren’t. This corner was my muse. It was before we got that condo on St. George. You never did get to see the balcony, the location too easily known. I knew every lush in this town almost ten years ago. I have neat, charming stories.

The next chapter.

Dear blog awards folks. My arse in these pants got in to the New York Times (online). That was my fourth time being linked by the NYT in 2012.

Look how juicy my ass is now five months later. One guy or two would look for reasons to troll me and used to say I had a flat ass. Nice try. I’m not getting in to details but genetically-speaking my ass is never ever going to sag or not qualify for bubble butt or “porno ass” a term I bandy about/invented. Got lotsa vouchers for that little insider tidbit yo.

Adore. Be adored.

Caramel. Way in to sugar. One crutch for another. A lover. A drug.

I put that carrot back in.

Glamour galaxyyyyy.

Classic.

Surround yourself with those who are passionate about other people with passions. -rtm

So I’m up for a few awards again (no big deal) this year and it’s jury-based decided (thank god) so I don’t have to beg you knuckleheads for votes and then wind up getting voted against by the other half of you who hate me/can’t quit me. My 3 categories are Lifetime Achievement Award (no brainer there), Best Placeblog (contains local political/social/arts/community articles about a place) okay? lol I’ll take that award too fine and then Best General Interest Weblog for people whom I guess are just generally interested in my blog? Psyche! “for weblogs that cover a range of topics”. I’m stoked to be nominated and I hope I win one of these things, especially the lifetime one because I can’t quit blogging til I get a title like that. So I guess we just wait and see what happens and I gotta continue blogging in the interim to prove my consistent excellence in all things of general interest, lifetime achievement plus places, look there’s a place lets blog it!

Now why do I deserve awards? Specifically the lifetime achievement award? Oh, just a little thing called TWELVE YEARS of doing the shit is why. Now here are some photos of me being in love with myself from last week I have to go work out meow. Probably tan afterward then write my piece for playboy in time to go out with the ladies tonight who don’t know it yet but I’m probably bailing. Later on I might find some time to complain/brag about my life if you are lucky.

DM of the day, “Can I buy dirty panties off u for $20 each”.

Guys should I start posting newds again j/k. I was posting this above photo to just “be funny” and go hey what do you think about this??? All Sarah Silverman like you know. Forgive me as I am half blasted on scotch at the moment. Saw Jack Reacher. Ate pita pit. Bowled. Fish market oysters. Dranks. Fun Sunday! More pics of it tomorrow all proper blog like. I even convinced an apple owner (iphone) that galaxy was better when he saw my phone in action! That never happens to me. We won guys, we won yay!

But omg do I love scotch is your face supposed to be on fire like this cos I like it. It’s super beet red boy am I ever gonna sleep tonight. I’m at that Dysthymic state of being when your dreams are more interesting and involved than your waking life I’d call this my Beatles and the Maharishi phase. Quiet, reflective. Jesus I just googled Dysthymic — “a depressive mood disorder characterized by a chronic course and an insidious onset.” GREAT! Well I’ll be. (southern drawl). My mother keeps a facebook photo album entitled the winter of my discontent. I wonder which of us will walk in to the river first with that attitude.

Blaha. Loved this one. Hated my face. MS PAINT COMPROMISE THROW-DOWN SUCK IT!!!!!!!

Fuck it dude lets go bowling. That, we did. Alright it’s late and I gotta pretend to be asleep now.

Adorablah lemon.