Author Archives: raymi

If you lived here you’d be home by now

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It was super foggy out last night so it was a little difficult capturing all the cray in its true essence glory and splendor. I feel like the owner of this house would really enjoy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre, like every remake. Just a hunch. Have a nice lunch!

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PSSSSSSSST. Look!

I’m getting full uniforms, in every size. Being me rules sometimes. Does this mean I can just walk in to any hooters pick up a pitcher and pour it in to my mouth? YES. Try and stop me. Take orders for tables and ahh I’m going to have fun with this. I even get the shoes and the weird socks and panty hose too. If you have not been paying close attention then you won’t know that in life all weird things lead to even stranger things so just roll with it and say yes when someone offers to print your brand name on their brand name.

One more thing, wanna come to this with us Feb 12?

Leave a vomment and you’ll be in the running for a pair of tickets. Last year’s event was a wild success. It’s a great opportunity to network, agency schmooze and champagne booze.

Now hump day it upppp buttercup.

Ah gad just wait’ll you see what I ate last night.

The diet starts today. And I feel like I’m getting sick again. This winter, I tell you.

Badass dream cameo

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Hey Raymi,


You had a cameo in my dream last night, so I thought I’d say hi :-).

You were driving a purple rocket-powerd ice-cream monster truck with 2 GIGANTIC cotton candy cannons on the front. The cannons were shooting pink spun-sugar clouds all over pristine suburban neighborhood streets. You had comically and impossibly long fingernails, which u used as an excuse to not give any of the kids ice-cream (“I’m not gonna break a nail getting your dumb ass a bomb pop”). The cacophonous music that emanated from the massive “Fuck your ears” sound system, was an insanely loud and bass-heavy RZA remix of the ice-cream song.
Then the cops came. Sirens and lights from every direction. Coming for you.
You took off in a cartoon-like explosion, leaving nothing but a soft pink blanket of sugar, screeching smoking tire marks, and a conical flurry of exclaimation points.

Finally, LOUD construction from the building next to mine woke me up. I audibly exclaimed, “what the fucking fuck?!?!”

Kinda badass, right? But… uhhh… what the fucking fuck?

Hope all is well.

On a writing deadline right now so I’ll tell you my stupid shit later kay bye.

YEATS Motherf–er

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I WILL arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honeybee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.
And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet’s wings.
I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart’s core.

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GORGEOUS.

You’re just a capturer on a lonely chase.

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On the one hand living on a life schedule to a completely different tune to everyone else is kind of thrilling, but it is stressful too because you’ve still got to adhere and play along, go along, clock in the next groundhog day, blog. People seem busy I feel so it’s okay to dip out in the winter months. I do get “online bullied” for my Nomadic Raymi lifestyle though. Half of me is like FUCK EVERYONE ELSE seriously I don’t feel blogligated to live like everyone else and be like everyone else and I never did, never will. It is mad frustrating moving around though, each day is different and I still have virtual obligations but I can leave my laptop behind and just “chill out” bro let it mellow, get to it later. It’s okay. You get antsy when you can’t write on keys at your modern type writer or regurgitate all the junk in your head and call it a blog post. You, go crazy. A lot of soul searching. You hang with your friends and you see men who don’t give a shit about you. I’m going to stop the latter. It doesn’t seem right to abuse my powers. Or test myself anymore. You fall out of love with everything. Yourself. Everything.

This was a decent affair though. The Glitzy Lips were super fun. I started off with the darker pink, then switched to lighter. They’re sending more colours. NICE.

Amazing skills.

Miss Lin!

Holly is adorable.

Have a great time in the Bahamas Tanya!

Closing time! We annihilated these because we were annihilated. Right Shannon? They’re only out for a limited time so I better go get a bag for dinner tonight I bet they don’t even fucking have them out here ugh.

Egg in a hole. Boom. Delish.

Pear spinach meh salad. It came with a copy of VICE magazine so you win some you lose some, you gain some.

I only wear black these days I am boring, beatnik, chic, hidden, ignored, it’s awesome.

Sunday deserves an award for how much we drank. This week is definitely drier I promise.

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The worst thing you can do to a kid today is tell them they’re normal.

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It’s Up!!!!! READ IT! Nate is my muse. Rules. Make sure you go through his site too there’s a lot of fun shit in there.

Aaaaand here is my daily harassment reminder to vote for PBE we’re up for two social media awards in Vancouver, another reason to get me out west to visit the Raymi fans out there. Please take a sec and vote at these two links that would be uh-maaaazing. Vote:

Here 1. http://ow.ly/gNBQR Best SMC and here 2. http://ow.ly/gNBLw Must Follow of 2013. TY!

btw last night ruled too. More on that later. xo

The Raymi Noose

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Someone told me to hashtag everything in instagram cos that’s when the magic happens. So I did. I love this gothic thing. Scare-terrarium. #timburton approved. Then Tim Burton LIKED THIS PICTURE. –sonic boom– That guy is like my idol. Nightmare before Christmas was like my best friend (on vhs) for a little while, punctured by lots of books #nerdalert but in any event Tim Burton was emo before emo was emo and I dig that. Am emo. I used to sing NBXmas to the tv and maybe I never got over playing Scrooge one Christmas play a week after my grandfather died. Drama complex. If there was a broadway rendition of this film I would BE Jack Skellington. It’s nice to have bizarre interests to funnel your creative weirdness energy in to. Thanks Mr. Burton. Ps. Batman Returns is well-awesome too.

Random stacked titles I felt represented us pretty good. Guess the one of these I haven’t seen (passed out in the first ten minutes).

Ronald Mcdonald gone hipster.

Some other big deal sportscaster guy tweeted at me the other day too. I love when that happens.

After Les Mis the other night we also shared this. Sugar sugar sugar. You know I didn’t order it because there’s no sauce.

End of Watch is an amazing movie btw. Bro movie all the way. Disturbing, very.

This morning.

Hope to see you guys tonight! It’s going to be fun. Shake off that winter stir cray. <3

It’s been “one of those weeks”.

Saying so long in the most f–up way to my sweet tooth. What are we gonna dance to today I wonder. I’m putting together my dodgeball outfit too. That’s tomorrwoah. Provided I don’t bail or hit’er too hard tonight. You get mad adrenaline from bartending so who knows (I know). X-oh yo.