hop into my delorean lets go back to last friday

samir threw us a hamburger party.

sharpie threw us a vodka dance party.

this weed is great!

sorry debbie downer.

the spins or the awesome?

move over kirsten drunkst there’s some new ‘bans in town.

this is as far as i got pictures-wise.

then something traumatizing happened to me later on at stone’s place i am too horrified to share, i’ll tell you about it later, i want more time to pass before i bust it out.

what if you came home to this:

I FUCKING MADE IT

didn’t bother opening the brie holy fucking stuffed.

fil made irish cream milkshakes.

then we went with scott to see transformers, it is long and cheesy, but there are more good things about it than cheesy. scott fell off his bike and busted his arm there are wires in it. sorry scott.

scott is a loud talker so when he had to make a phonecall i told him to go in the bedroom cos i knew the fucking fred penner acoustic guitar playing neighbour asshole would appreciate the deep tone of scott’s voice coming through the wall.

me: cid is on my arm i am typing with my left hand
it is annoying as hell

Phil: he does that so you practice using your left
he is helping you

me: now he is looking at me

Phil: he does that so you get used to being stared at
he is helping you

me: i just made the cutest video!!!
of me typing
and him looking at me
and i didnt know he was looking at me
now he is trying to BECOME me
i smell a time out
oh no here he comes back

Phil: haha

me: he is fucking relentless
i dont have time for this

Phil: i know you are very busy

me: shut up
i have snot and saliva all over my face now
he is in a time out

Phil: not snot
just kitty spit

me: sorry nose juice

midtown

nice day out.

will vespas ever go away what is this france, italy?

these are my de niro glasses, at the end of casino when he is sitting at his desk.

can’t get enough.

who invited lance romance?

what? oh well maybe just the one i’m not really a drinker you guys.

so she’s real afterall, we finally meet jeff’s gf, josie.

cold jerk chicken, blew my face off.

forget what chutney it is i don’t want to be a dick and go for the safe answer, mango, anyway, it’s good.

fil had the jerk wrap, very good.

i think someone in there likes me cos i got a little salad with my second drink, well actually it was my fourth if you must know, two glasses of wine with dinner in-between.

this is when jeff declares that he canNOT handle olives then to be a buff he does the unthinkable:

bravo.

then we went to the bedford and i had 4 more caesars and some whiskey and we played the alphabet name bands game but had to say your band name like a retard what that wasn’t us that was a different table.

i feel like a cow if my menstrual cycle was a horoscope it would read: on the cusp of venus hurtling fast toward spinal cord injury pain in my back and little cupids punching my ovaries.

everytime we walk by shan i nag fil to buy this

it’s probably 200 dollars, anyway, finally a suit to make guys feel like fat cows, FINALLY. thank you casino royale. i think it’s worth it, total package enhancer, plus, i like my dudes to look like 12 year old boys. so if you wanted to know where to get those trunks, shan is the place. or is A place.

uh.

moving on.

sorry for the killer stupid look on my face and for some reason i am walking but i am wearing a new shirt and i am carrying the pillowcase dress. get ready for some amazing.

and look a pose this blog is so unreal.

i liked that my face looks like an acorn.

does someone want that party til you puke game that’s in the corner? this dress comes in polka-dots print too i think that would be too wacky for me i am a crazy loudmouth enough as it is and i don’t want to go back to a psyche ward.

i might have to go back and get more of these shirts, maybe one size smaller, i felt naked all night long too, there’s a built-in plastic thing around the boobs-part for aesthetics.

what? shut up.

and there it is on my shoe rack oh, fil DID empty out one of his drawers wow, i know, blown away, i think this means we are really committed, no turning back now.

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. it is long on the torso like those slutty college girls posing in playboy would wear.

oops i seem to have interrupted a what we call gay cuckoo moment.

that cat is so mental.

short shorts are under that not that anyone could fucking see them.

stay tuned for more.

+++

does anyone know why postsecret didn’t do its sunday post this past weekend? i know i am purely fucking lame for admitting i read that blog but anyway, wtf? i was thinking of sending one in saying everytime i read this site i feel more and more embarrassed for the fucking planet – it’s nothing but suicidal cheating obese closeted nymphos crying their faces off, nothing cool comes in anymore like i put my snot on my boss’s coffee cup it’s just all emo depressives and emails saying THIS POSTCARD CHANGED MY LIFE I DON’T FEEL ALONE ANYMORE oh fucking grow up and get some therapy.

boring girl post beware.

i just bought a really cute dress that looks like a pillow case and a shirt and a cardigan my top five jeopardy categories would be

cardigans
booze
talkin’ shit
grey cardigans
vintage cardigans

ok that was stupid the point i am making is i have a ton of grey cardigans now i don’t know why i bother spending money on things that aren’t grey cardigans i make the effort and then i just go back to the grey, this one has pink piping and little pockets for my juice money punch me please.

what do people have against corn?

today is really hot out i had girltime with lise tonite is suppose to be sober nite but we are meeting jeff for dinner instead and i forgot, thought it was yesterday. i searched all over for my summer purse the other day and forgot i “leant” it out i was going to get a new one but thought i had spent enough, throwing that extra something into your purchases just puts it all over the edge and you want to just die. i also wanted some new knee socks, but didn’t give in. lise told me there is an american apparel underneath hmv on bloor, she shouldn’t have told me that.

the pop-up lounge is open to the public now and will be at 312 adelaide for the next three nites, there is some dating interactive thing where you wear a cellphone around your neck and you have a number and if you see a babe you can text them disgusting messages and get them to like you.

my hair is getting really long it is like an animal.

went to the ck party glad we did free boozes and foods and i got that interview thing over with that i avoided only cos i am a socially inept reject, they said they’ll send me a copy of it when it’s all put together so look forward to that.

then we went to the horseshoe and on the way there i saw ron sexsmith and yelled RON at him and he pointed at himself and looked all around, me? so we walked with him to the ‘shoe then he left and then we went to embassy and i drank all the clamato and then we went to green room where i told fil his nostrils were different sizes BIG MISTAKE so for the rest of the nite we got to talk about how fil’s nose is FINE THE WAY IT IS. then to shopper’s then home where we hugged with our pants off.

are my videos still pointing to that fucking rufus video? buzznet is wonky right now tell me if this one is me singing i will always love you the best ever you really need to experience it.