!!PAINTING SOLD!! AND FOR THE EXACT ASKING PRICE TOO!! I’M RICH AGAIN!

looks dark and spooky but it is actually sunny and whimsical.

see? as fil fucks off down the street with the environmentally friendly reusable grocery bag oh that must mean we are going to whole foods! i asked fil if he was going to be as annoying as last time where he thinks he is planet lesbo earth saviour and gets all manic and MUST find the most organic of organic tuna – he’s switched to all natural patchouli/orange deodorant guys, he’s serious.

fil’s dinner, saving the world one bite at a time with the washable non-garbage bowl.

mine, note the cardboard. i wasn’t planning to eat it all in one sitting, fil helped, then gave me a WICKED COOL LECTURE about recycling!

i normally throw in a hard-boiled egg as my meat substitute but they were out.

how much of a cock was i for saying meat substitute?

my FIRST TIME hardboiling eggs. i had to call my mom and she had to ask her mom. i have seen it done before but i was super young and that’s when my mom gave a shit about making food so i guess she has forgotten. i put the phone on speaker for fil to hear my mom, nana, and papa all talking at once trying to tell me how to do it and he asked me to TURN OFF THE NOISE! i thought it was cute.

check out the crazy in his eyes.

i think cid is bipolar.

received an anonymous letter in the mail yesterday via easypost i would be lying if i said i wasn’t nervous intrigued by it. tell me if it was you cos i don’t remember sending myself a letter.

though it seems like something i would go out of my way to say/send to myself so who knows.

we ate two, pickled the other four. i am a good cook.

that white blemish on the left is not on the canvas i don’t know why it’s there anyway whoever wants it email me and i will tell you the astronomical price of it based on who you are and level of how much i like you oh and you can tell me to stop adding shit to it or keep going etc.

cool story tough guy.

wet hair + bun = curly barf

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these geniuses decided the day they put up my interview is a good one to change the voting system, so now it’s thumbs up or thumbs down, go give me a thumbs up please.

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baltimore weighs in

marc

crap sleep last nite. figured since we weren’t drinking booze we may as well have cold coffees after 9pm and go for a walkies and rent road to guantanamo, it ended around 12.30 then couldn’t get to sleep, that fucking umbrella song that every slut i know is all about was running through my head, i have only heard it a few times, maybe i’ll get it off itunes today to blow my mind to it all afternoon. and now i am up cos that pepto bismol jingle decided to affix itself to THE VERY ESSENCE OF MY MIIIIND.

nausea heartburn indigestion upset stomach diarrhea PARTY!

on a sidenote, if i were to somehow meet rihana and she had her umbrella, could i like, demand to stand under it with her, is her song like a mutually binding-contract if i buy it off itunes? or am i going to get a check to the ground and an elbow to the spine and served with a restraining order?

maybe she should be a little more careful with all those promises she throws around, what’s that other one about being a murderer, no wait, the SOS please someone help me, see, lucky i am smart, cos not everyone is so like some dude could you know esgithrgnrelnvfdlbfd

i have a good feeling about the garbage what will be my posts today, fingers crossed.

how cute are british people?

pricey cos it’s import, don’t ask me another dumb question please.

the old man next door is yelling at the ancient woman he lives with, his wife or mother, who knows, he is depressing the hell out of me, calling her an asshole and other mean shit, she is the frailest little bird thing and he is an angry fucking dick, i was standing in the hall listening, this close to yelling STOP YELLING AT YOUR WIFE but figured he would say she is not my wife and then we get to have hostile uncomfortable tension on our floor until we move away or they both die. if she dies and i never say anything i will feel like shit for the rest of my life, so what if i make that guy feel embarrassed, he SHOULD feel that way. he just left the apartment and waited for the elevator and i watched him through the peep-hole, he was breathing really heavy and sighing. fuck him. yeah it’s so overwhelming to verbally abuse a woman likely suffering from alzheimers and cannot fend for herself, way to go dickbag.

wow.

HOW TO SNACK LIKE A DRUNK/STONER CHAMP:

Duh-oooooood i can’t wait.

chicken kalbasa (v. low in fat) super aged cheddar, wheat hot dog bun, toasted.

fucking beauty, i am crying right now.

blow your head off mustard. i walked it out to fil and he said i should layer more shit on it so i could cut it into quarters so we would have “more food” – i didn’t want to compromise the melted of the cheese.

sharing is essential, oh hi are you guys on a date?

whoops still hungry. there was a couple more rounds to this eating tour, no pictures to prove though.

oh, so we meet again.

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BLOGINTERVIEWER interviewed yours truly. go read and be very annoyed amused.

saturday continued:

hey man it’s like we are so in a boat, just, imagine it ok?

when that girl was done hitting on stefan everytime her boyfriend wasn’t looking she got up to dance near me and whipped me in the face and back of the head with her amazon hair a few times, thanks.

trying to get my socks.

nope, almost there.

then it occurred to me to just hold the camera like a normal person, featured on my left knee is the famous escalator divot-scar. those socks are made for tiny little asian legs, my calves pass just barely.

hey is this the poseidon?

laserbreaths.

oh barf on me you guys.

so true!

wow!! my thoughts exactly.

hey it’s duncan! his band is called madrid and i was blown away, wicked tunes to dance to.

my pictures are super garbage tho i was too busy dancing like an insecure tool.

so i am wearing this outfit on the street corner with fil waiting to cross to the other side to get a cab and this cab slides up behind us at a red light and i hear hey look at that slut hey nice socks and some other talking me and fil look at each other and turn to see three dudes in a cab, drunk frat dickheads, and one has a super guilty look on his face and immediately says we weren’t talking about you and i go zero to rage and yell OH YEAH THEN WHO THE FUCK WERE YOU TALKING TO THEN YOU PIECE OF SHIT? and they are all shocked and scared and i anticipate something but all the guy can say is i was talking to her and points to this nice asian lady wearing very conservative clothes and i turn back to them and go OH YEAH!? and the guy goes YEAH then i say oh yeah? and the guy goes YEAH! and the cab drives away.

haha. i live for these moments.

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a radmad afternoon

thai drums, four with thai coleslaw, ten bucks.

radmad had corn salsa chicken pizza, kinda soggy. our waitress blew, not until she realised i had “connections” with her employer did she stop blowing. some frozen grapes were sent over and she is like uh these are for you and do you know why? with loads of attitude, like it was a test – way to be professional.

there is always one hot day every summer where i fuck up and wear leather flips flops i should throw them away.

then anita the lezbot showed up and quickly realised radmad was trashed.

then fil, who spent the majority of the time ignoring us. FINE!

sorry yanks, the big guy is canadian.

vernon wells! he spent the whole time on his iPhone and radmad kept yelling about it like it was personally offending her, dude just signed a $125 million contract so he can pretty much do whatever he wants. oh man imagine if pitt was with us yesterday, the comedy just writes itself.

at this point i put two and two together and realise that radmad has been drinking DOUBLES the whole time, so she had ten crown and diet cokes, not 5 + 30 degree toronto heat over the course of three hours.

vernon, all this and MORE can be yours, pal.

this guy spent 90% of his date leering at us over his ladyfriend’s head, and around her shoulder, she was older, slammin’ body though.

pillowcase dress

i hiked it up over my tits to make it sluttier and i’m bloated so having it clingy is not a party right now.

recycling day.

i was angry walking down beverley, i asked fil to clean the kitchen, i am tired of doing it all the time yeah yeah he makes loads more money than i do but could he clean it just ONCE i wake up and it is trashed all the time and then i clean it up and then do it again the next day and so on it depresses me, so anyway he does but then it turns him cuckoo and then has to clean the entire apartment after taking out the recycling on a saturday? and we are suppose to go for a walk to the outdoor art thing radmad was waiting so i am, fine, i’ll wait while you manically rid the condo of spores and dust, then he gets to the bathroom and is all why is the sink clogged i said i don’t know he asks if i put something down it i said no then asks why is it clogged ok yes fil i put cat litter down it and all the hair i could find OMFG then i say what is wrong with you and he says no what is wrong with you!? NOTHING WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU etc.

so i left in a fury and the point of this is i was speed angry marching and with my dress hiked up (yesterday was very windy) the wind caught it and flipped it up to the entire universe multiple times so i had to pull it down and suffer the sweaty pool collecting under my tits and everywhere else.

that story rules.

stay tuned for when i swore at some guys in a cab last nite.

play this next time you get high.

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and now i will rip on postsecret.

oh really how about i am waiting for the day when people like you don’t blame all of your problems on attractive persons like it’s their fault you are a piece of shit failure with no friends.

wow really? are you fucking ten years old? this is your great big secret? you made a personalised postcard, went to all that trouble, to say this? but no one blah blah wah wah call your mom, baby, since when are YOUR feelings other people’s responsibility? suck it up dickbag.

heh, loser. maybe spend less time making ugly postcards and more time meeting people NOT in yahoo chatrooms?

oh what’s this? some genius somehow knew about this postcard before everyone else and already sent an email about it?

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Sunday, July 08, 2007 1:43 PM
Subject: awkward silence

we should talk sometime.

THANKS FOR LETTING THE WORLD BE PRIVY TO HOW FUCKING SAD YOU GUYS’S ARE!

hi i don’t know how TO DO ANYTHING COS I AM A LAZY ANNOYING TURD HELP ME POSTSECRET!

because you are incapable of getting laid in real life.

way to go mr. breaks his dad’s heart and a future in telemarketing.

hey look everyone it’s an in-denial diabetic, you know what fuckface, say goodbye to your vision! my dad’s co-worker is blind now and his wife has to drive him to work everyday in his fancy sportscar cos he is BLIND IN BOTH FUCKING EYES.

by avoiding bring-down yin yang drawing douchebags like you.

haha burn.

oh fucking burn in hell you asshole piece of shit scum, secrets like these should be mailed back to the wife, fuck this arrogant shameless dick.

thanks for boring the shit out of me and wasting everybody’s time.

throw it out before he sees it you dink!

good! fuck those hippies!

haha that picture is funny.