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hey there hi there ho there.

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that stomach is rocking 3 pints. i couldn’t do my food journal when i got home last nite cos the internet was down. then i laid on the couch with melodie and half-dozed while they watched red. i saw this movie. i have no idea where i saw it or with whom. dad did we rent it? no it was in theatres. so it was maybe the drive in? ugh thanks marijuana. take a bow.

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had the trout. it was nice and light. for starter i had a duck salad. it was crap.

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we went on an adventure. sometimes casie and i share a brain. yesterday was kind of a hilarious day.

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pbc convinced me to dress up. i felt like a fucking idiot walking down my driveway and seeing my totally under-dressed lunch date sitting in his car meanwhile my toes are frozen in my funeral shoes in fact, i’m wearing black head to toe, total funeral outfit. oh well it’s always better to dress up, dress for the position in society you want to be not what you are. so i guess i should dress like hello kitty then. i think i made that joke here before. sorry about that.

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i emailed tucker max. i bet he won’t write back. i’ll give it a few more days before i broadcast my rejected pick-up email. this book is so hilarious and he reminds me of an ex-friend and because of all his black out mug shots i want to figure out how to get mine. yes fans, your hero spent a night in the drunk tank in los angeles the one in manhattan beach i just googled it and looked at pictures oh man. merkley wears his mug shot on a t-shirt i’ll have to ask him how to track mine down. i look like wynona ryder in a psychosis in it. flaming coupe bizarre red hair and dilated pupils aaaalright who wants to associate with my brand now, guy. i’m sure one day i’ll be famous enough that it’ll just get leaked on its own. then i can hang with nick nolte. or vince vaughn mmm yummy.

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you haven’t made it until you have a mug shot in my opinion. (kids don’t try this at home).

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carpaccio at romagna-mia last nite. we have a fun collaboration on the horizon there over the next couple months. this is why i’m glad my internet was down last nite. james heard we had pasta. gulp.

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me in that sweater there and my psychiatrist’s gay steven segal wall tapestry. i told him that basically the only problems i have in life are real world adult problems. i griped about every single one and thing i could think of. i also told him it was very embarrassing showing up a day early in bright red pants. i see my guy at CAMH where all the crazies go for free crazy group therapy, they also do drug addiction, booze and anxiety. i got in because i have a lovely laundry list of mental foibles in my past. i am a total advocate for therapy in general and in other countries/cultures they consider you a total idiot if you don’t go to regular therapy sessions but anyway, my guy knows i’m a-ok, i rarely see him, only for chill pill scripts (anxiety) which i never even fill (i have a collection of them) and i think we’re even at the point where he should stop counseling me and suggest treatment or other therapy i dunno, that’s how the system works i gather, like, i’m not mental, i can function and go about life and more or less be a businessy-together work capable human but there is something borderline totally inadequate about me i feel and i might be a candidate for some kind of breakdown maybe perhaps (not likely i think cos i’ve already gone through it and i’m pretty a-type where i must keep it together which is very british of me and vital) but because i drink a lot this is why i keep seeing my doctor. i told him if in the next two months i don’t severely get my act together and move on to bigger and better things (accomplish projects, which requires a lot less drinking and late nights) then i am going to do something drastic and punish myself. it’s just unacceptable personally how much i have slacked off on multiple things (despite accomplishing fantastic and copious amounts of other things). i spread myself so thin but i’m too cheap to hire someone to work for me. yes i am a business woman, yes i make money off this blog yes i am not playing make believe. i said to my shrink that he is basically just a career counselor to me now. i said if i wasn’t a creative type i’d be on time for shit, people like me in the world are late because they’re chasing rainbows and other whimsical shit so guys like you can sit on your arse in cubicles commenting on our finger paintings and such.

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i learned the other night that a lot of people in my past (not naming any names or groups of whatever subset of people you think i am referring to) and distant present (haha whatever that means) are equally as lost and stressed out feeling. i think everyone is kind of strung out in january. you feel the pressure of life during these trying alaskan-climate times. i just assumed everybody had a better life than me or was thriving more and it was kind of a relief to see that i am not the only person suffering.

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today at lunch i was fascinated by all the haves. this table of four men in their white tennis clothing, having pints, two women at their table all discussing the co-ordination of tomorrow morning’s ride to the airport for their holiday. then another man joined them who looked about 80 years old with a ralph lauren baseball hat plopped on his head like it ain’t no thing and a glass of red wine. what a life.

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yesterday in yorkville seeing all the stressed out money faces and furs and plastic surgery and the desperation and the entitlement super affected me. i realized why my blogging style of writing at the time when i lived in the neighbourhood was so bitter and caustic. i was so stressed out to exist in that world yet shun it and rise above. ugh. i was happy and i was not. i blogged three times a day about laundry and a cat that hated me and fielded so much abuse from strangers on the internet about how much of a cunt i was. my blog thrived because i was a shut in and it was the only attention i really got.

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i asked a girl, a girl woman, a kept woman, for directions to a place i received a tip about. yorkville is so condensed you can walk by 5 boutiques in 5 steps so it’s hard to find new places i guess. this woman was exceptionally nice so willing to offer help and even asked if the place was any good that i was off to. i could tell she was lonely and like all happenings i ever encounter i over-analyzed that exchange and took that yeah, she was nice because someone picked her out. you feel special when a stranger makes you an authority on something. you are surrounded by so many people in this city but you can easily feel super isolated within it.

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meanwhile a national post notable was waiting to take a piss by the bathroom. i was reading my a-holes finish first and checking out every single thing that moved by the window. i might go back another afternoon and sit in the coffee shop by sassafraz all day long and wait for a husband.

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when i walked in to starbucks these two younger than me (but not skinnier) platinum girls (pretty though and rich) totally looked me up and down. we did the we all have platinum hair acknowledgment like how motorcycle riders churchill style peace sign each other in-passing, except platinum acknowledgment when one party has roots and the other doesn’t involves mega eyeballs crawling all over your head in a vicious way. guess which one of us had roots.

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came up with a book title for my own i hope they serve beer in hell style memoir (kills, lays, notches) it’s called RAYMEN. raymi’s men. get it? just kidding. (we’ll see if you make the cut).

bingo bango bongo bye,

I’LL SEXT YA LATER! i mean, see you later.

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i think i get away with more than half the things i should in life cos of these bad boys.

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sickly dana if i get it i have like 3 different people to blame it on. i will put all three in a cauldron.

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grainy olympus i like it hipster-vision. oh, this, casual unassuming photograph, yeah, no biggie. W-hatever. i’m writing this under the gun right now so i know not what i do. i’m going to the boulevard club like fresh prince for lunch this afternoon (like now). one of my PBC (parkdale boys club) members is trying to get me to fall in love with him so that he can impregnate me. not even kidding.

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my little nutellacube buddy sent me a kawaii-style postcard. it was on the adventure fridge, i didn’t know when it came. melodie was like yeah this came for you and i got warm inside and boasted that jenny is one of my little blogger buddies that i feel very protective of and all mentor-like. thanks jenny. good girl. haha.

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no problem. me, 24/7. piece-a cake.

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i thought my sweater against the leopard print couch would look funny/cute. this is one of my top ten most manipulative sweaters i own. when a really tall guy who looked like chris robinson saw me he fell down the stairs. ok one stair. ok he didn’t actually fall but he majorly tripped and stumbled cos he was overcome with desire and endearment upon the vision what is me in this oatmeal sweater. culinary student was like ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THAT GUY!? so jealous. no, i said, but i’d fuck his friend. i am nice like that.

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we shared fajitas.

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i went to good catch our hippie local store. it’s a time capsule in there.

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advhaus gets a discount but i am the new guy so i smooth talked her into giving me a partial one. therefore she rules and gets a photo taken. some other spaced out hippie wandered in and i had a wine buzz on so i interacted with him positively. this girl (forget her name) said they stay open til 15 passed ten every nite for all the hippies who can’t get their shit together in time to make it by ten. she didn’t say it in those words but that’s how i interpreted it. i am also included in the 15 passed (past?) ten crowd. sometimes i’ll wander in from mitzi’s and eat a secret snack.

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ahh drunk shopping is the best i bought all kinds of adventure crap to eat. mel was sick so i wanted to play nurse santa claus.

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these packs of mj cards are all thick and gummy sludge-like i can only imagine what they look like. i’ll buy one next time i go.

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kinda sad. kinda, rad?

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melodie uses these. sometimes our household products at home have a fight i come in with the most obnoxious expensive brand name piece of garbage what destroys the planet and they are like, no way man. one time i put flavoured coffee beans through the grinder as “a surprise” and they didn’t like that very much. i have learned. flavoured beans aren’t good for you because of the vanilan.

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i bought kale chips cos i wanted to do mindless snacking with slim repercussions. i was going to buy seaweed paper but it’s fucking expensive. how is seaweed so bloody expensive i can just go to a lake and fish it out myself.

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the middle postcard i got from the tate modern when i was 17 in england, the year it opened. I WIN.

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yesterday i whored my brain out for research purposes.

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it was very true liesy. i love this shit. i have to learn how to speak freely and forget the two-way mirror. the guy interviewing me had a euro accent, trying to place it. helped set the mood. he would ask somewhat leading questions “but there is no wrong answer” and when i took the camera out he’s like “so is that what you do…? (pause pause) take pictures?” i think he had lessons in mind control at some point in time. i also couldn’t stop staring at my reflection in the mirror and noticing how moonbeamy my eye bags were and readjusting my hair.

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are there people behind that mirror? yes he said. i finished the meeting by asking if he hated me. i don’t think i said what he wanted to hear and that’s only because i’m the wild card always. maybe i wouldn’t but i know others would. i play the game and then i sabotage it.

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then it turned into a casie afternoon and i discovered that the lcd screen of my new camera was shattered. camera works but i can’t see shit. not happy. alen is going to catapult me into outerfuckingspace likely too. my purse dropped off the back of the coat hook in the bathroom all on its own at starbucks. i got starfucked.

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we went to hemmingways to celebrate/blow off steam/talk business/drink pints and so on. before that we wandered around the underground mall thing so i could follow men around and then not follow through with the eyetag. i bought some crap at costa blanca. picked up a vice from AA.

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i’m going to wear this to lunch with tights and who knows what else i should be focusing on that right now instead of blogging.

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it’s soft peachy/pink. i am turning into my nana that’s one of her favourite tones.

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see my newest headband? got it in black too.

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party time. excellent.

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adorable skirt.

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killed some time at ginger’s cos he lives in the naybe of where i had dinner last nite.

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he is also getting over being sick. see how we are watching the kanye video? i have turned so many on to that thing kanye should be paying/thanking me. as if, i wish, that that guy is so cray cray.

ok bye!!!

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nothin’ like a media preview invite to whet my appetite. for destruction. sorry i was just skimming my itunes there for a sec and forgot what i was doing. for the young ones that was a metallica g’n’r (thanks) reference. had to get out of bed to edit this because i had a late night americano and couldn’t let it go so tired.

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so there’s this new place called the ballroom in the city in a perfect location for it to be utilized and scorned by one and all, club ground zero. i just read torontoist‘s review on it, well, mostly the comments and a few blurbs of the actual piece i’ll finish after my own review lest i get too swayed but i am already pissed off just reading the comments. typical smug toronto reactionary bullshit you see this is why the rest of the country hates us.

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how can one hate on a bowling alley? a high-end bowling alley in the middle of the city? how perfect is that? we drove to some ghetto bowling alley off the dvp a couple years ago wherever the fuck once to bowl and that harshed our buzzes, well, for whoever had to drive it did i also was suffering a mega-hangover anxiety attack myself at the time too that i’m pretty sure would have been cured had we not required a caravan voyage out of our dear city just to bowl.

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the type of people griping and whining about however much this place costs to bowl and experience are exactly the type who pose at places like the drake. hypocrites. this place was designed with your faux-elitist try hard ass in mind. reality check.

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and arrested development geniuses like me.

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colleagu is french for colleague. it’s like pingu.

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this place is gorge. i got a sneak-sneak preview before they even opened, while still in renovation, because i am amazing. i’ll drop those pics at the bottom of the post. i’ll have to as i didn’t go upstairs this time around and the only upstairs pictures i have are from then. i was too busy actually bowling to network schmooze. all these hot men kept parading by smiling at me in this beckoning manner and i am such a clued out tool i didn’t realize they were motioning for me to go up to where i imagine everybody i wanted to flirt with was. am i right dana? please say i’m wrong. i know i’m right. shit. oh hey i just noticed myself walking by the bar in that picture.

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tasting menu. this is the organic quinoa salad consisting of black olives, roasted tomatoes, celery, arugula, peppercorn peccorino and herbs and by the way, foodie geeks, i was not paid for this post so with all due respect, go fuck yourselves in advance.

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mmm tastes like healthy confusion. love it. look how perfect my ponytail is.

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thanks for that headband lois.

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so far away, many similar shots trying not to repeat too much even though that’s your favourite.

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purple was my favourite ball for awhile (weight 9) then i went to an 8, better hole fit for my fingers though i wish it was heavier. bowling is a workout too eh.

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meeting sean patterson. pro bowler (35 years) teacher on deck. took a shine to me. WHO DOESN’T. guy’s bowling arm is 17 inches, the left is 12. i made him show me. you’ll see. i am a professional reporter like Veronica Corningstone, more and more everyday she and her and i are becoming (haha that’s three people) one.

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he taught me some stuff and that is the dumb outfit i invented with only two seconds to throw it together. ok what would look cute and good and zany whilst bowling?

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i saw this guy throw 300 strikes. i tried to make him do them in cannon down each lane. he wouldn’t. i like to see how far i can push people. you’d be surprised.

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tawfik gave’r a go.

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i think back there i am thinking whether i should have a crush on him or not.

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and i’m like, gilbert grape level charming. check my hand.

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sometimes i’m a maje stud though.

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break out the graceful.

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you wouldn’t understand i operate on a completely different plane than you what they’d say in a maury povich audience, whole ‘notha level.

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were we trying to time it here?

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notice how i have to interfere and pester every single person in my immediate vicinity?

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timing it.

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amazing. that’s amazing. just so you know. LOOK I’M BEING AVERAGE!

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that man is clearly a spazz, i mean, really.

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sometimes i do this after throw pose when i know it’s bad i want to delay coming up to reality and confronting the crippling embarrassment of my awful, awful roll.

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reflecting.

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and tap dancing?

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we were obsessed with sean.

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summer time these babes will be open and there’ll be a street patio. there’s patio upstairs and a stage and video games, arcade style, ping pong, entire dining room. it’s chic.

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look at those lame walkers. come on toronto walk strong, have game, look up, interact. (i hope this guy never finds my blog haha)

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hahaha i am trying to think of something funny to caption this by, maybe i’ll just let the awkward body language speak for itself. tawfik is the four star chef of the ballroom. mmmaybe he will feed me someday.

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the menu and me fighting on the phone with someone about how i mentioned something on my blog that would make us have a fight all over again so i can’t say but it’s funny how things get circular like that eh. that’s the menu obviously. i made that happen. i was so pleased with my machiavellian ways i sat down and congratulated myself by tweet jerking off which would be seeing how many views a photo i took of myself got within two seconds of tweeting it. i think my posture is getting better despite those low modern couches wanting to make you hunch. i was posture-conscious cos of my highwaisted shorts. i can just keeping going you know.

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the server chicks are super nice and very professional and courteous and hot as hell. i asked tawfik if those girls just get paid to walk around and be hot (joking) then an uber important looking hot one walked by and i said something snarky like see, just walking, always the walking and he’s like she’s in charge of “something important” (can’t remember) then i told some other media elite that they looked familiar, she said her name, didn’t ring a bell and i go, yeah, maybe it was in a dream. she walks away, spellbound. zap. the grilled wings are amazing. i thought james was going to burst an exercise ball when i told him what i ate at the ballroom this morning and now i have to for real do a food journal every day. GREAT.

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that girl is famous. natalie brown. everyone was annoyed that i didn’t know who or what that meant, nor even heard of any of the stuff she was in. i live in a bubble.

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the vip lanes to the side of the regular ones, private. secluded. YOU HAVE BETTER LIVES THAN EVERYONE ELSE VIPEOPLE.

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i love the gumball machine coloured bowling balls.

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my snap magazine photo pose lunge lateral raise move.

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killin’ it softly.

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only try this at home if you aren’t a complete wimp ass.

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i have absolutely no idea why bully truck driver personae is speaking right now. just go with it. pussy. see i can’t stop!

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the form oh the glorious form. i am a swan. a bowling swan ballerina.

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old bluey and me now.

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watch out now.

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the other mediaites were opportunists.

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i pretended not to notice.

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hilarious graphics.

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manipulative mush making face.

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up to something.

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running out of dumb things to say.

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stretching.

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that’s that famous girl. dana was like go talk to her i’ll introduce you i’m like no way man i’ll stay over here where it’s nice and safe and shy-friendly.

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i am a golden god. strike.

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then i taught the cbc kids what sean taught me.

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start with your left foot end with your left foot as you launch the ball.

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and then i semi-insulted/made fun of one of their t-shirts. hey is that ironic or is it like a real band shirt? no, it’s real, do you know who joel plaskett is? yeah i do (no really i do but it’s a little foggy in there) yeah sorry, right, he goes, it’s NOT ironic. tough crowd whoops. i must’ve had that michael cera movie on my brain or something. the shirt WAS comical ok, sorry joel plaskett but your tshirts look like they belong in that scott pilgrim movie where there’s a billion fake band names. it looked clever to me. whatever. this post gets a ten out of ten for reaching its hipster quota references per-post.

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i gave them my card too. let the awesome continue. they were super fun and into bowling, i liked them.

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see it worked she got a spare or a strike thanks to me.

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put a high five on that mawfucka.

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solid. i must say, yesterday’s afternoon was pretty amazing.

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and they have smokers booties too. darling. my fryes are lookin’ good eh. thanks lesliebian.

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python check.

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holy crapola.

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omg look at the difference. i didn’t make one lewd joke about masturbating, honest.

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cos fuck it dude, lets go bowling.

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bowling gang sign i wonder if it’s universal. it’s not exactly devil horns. it’s way sluttier than that. ok here’s the pre-tour i had because i am, like i said, veronica corningstone(r) and you aren’t.

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spazz attack.

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stage back wall.

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i love renovations.

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practisin’ ma shit.

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penny lane moment on the hardwood.

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bad outfit on a skinny day i always do that. if you wear a tent, you look like a tent. the moral of the story is, don’t wear tents.

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ok this one’s cute, swedish woodnymph at your service. this was the moment tawfik met me and i was like, is this weird to you? (spinning around on the bowling alley having my picture taken) him, yeah a little. hahaha.

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take advantage of settings always.

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i have a fat little babushka face here. note to self: no smiling when face bloated wearing that hat.

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i shoulda been a rockette. wait, weren’t they all super old in the eighties?

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maybe if they were called the potatoes.

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i’m really nervous here. i have meeting people shyness that i have to battle to overcome. i’m a hero really if you think about it. so many people are shy in the world. you have to make a concerted effort to do everything in your power to overcome that shit and battle your way through the business world otherwise you’re just some faceless troll on the internet.

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my mom loses her mind every time she sees these she wants them badly. it’s because we have teeny ankles.

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baaha look how cool i am playing it. faker.

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artist at work.

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it was mega cold that day. the beginning of oh shit it’s winter.

ok so long i thought my computer would have overheated and died by now.

tomorrow i get paid to talk to people about my internet opinions. hilarious. some days i feel like tom hanks in big though jason osler said i am a genius and he’s JOpublic so, there you go. i wish this post took less time but i enjoyed writing it almost as much as you enjoyed reading it.

i’ll edit and tweetblast/fb beg for attention this tomorrow.

SO MUCH TRUTH SO LITTLE TIME GOODNIGHT.

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hi ding dongs, your loyal leader is here. ready?

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i went back in time to my old haunt brennen demelo last friday, (the place where my blond transformation began) for a blow-out tutorial.

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as usual, i was late, no biggie, so brennen blew me. blew me out you perverts. then i went back for more on monday after a courtesy roots job (spoiled) and a blow dry tutorial which today fabfind is running a deal for you to go in for your own session, an $80 value slashed to $30 worth it and as usual, raymi gets to do everything first to demonstrate life’s finest so lets continue…

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BD will be having a relaunch pretty soon, the dudes who do the clothes are going to be moving out. big changes up in thur. i love hearing all about it i feel like i am a secret silent member on the outskirts of their cult. they all party and hang together i pretend not to be at all jealous like oh yeah totally i have my own life of parties too, but i am greedy and i like to be involved in everything if possible.

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the man himself. i was excited and nervous, i’ve never had him do my hair before, rose used to do it but i’d always stare at brennen walking back and forth in his perfect johnny depp outfits um this post is sounding like a love story. awesome. because it is. i made brennen fall in love with me.

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every baby in skulls. i would have bought that jumper but i think babies grow fast right? plus my colleague’s kid is not a girl. maybe a g’n’r tee when it’s older. haha “it”. i bought my mary locket from here. i kept weed in it. where is that thing now?

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i love my new camera oh so much. alen you are the best. i wonder if i will ever be reunited with the pen.

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i was dressed like a truck driver and i left my makeup bag at home so i was pure lesbo plain jane trucker tired eyes for the rest of the night until i changed into bridget jones.

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in this photo i look like annoying girl who shushes you in the library. annoying prude girl. i dressed even nerdier daintier than this to the bovine sex club once and picked up like every girl there. JUXTAPOSE 2011 Y’ALL. oh right back to hair. clipping it like this is such a drag but if you take the extra time to section/separate then the hair gets drier and therefore less strain on your puny arms you weakling housewife. that’s right i said it. housewife. wife of a house. i ran out of thinking medicine today sorry.

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dudes of matching hair feathered, flock together. i am totally going to rethink this outfit in the future do not worry. it’s the plaid shirt, it’s a size 2 or something retarded i bought it like a month before i started working with cheese boutique and then all my size 2 shirts turned into size 4 and then 6 shirts anyway this one buttoned up on me looks like a dude slept over and had to put your clothes on the next day to go to the bathroom and your roommates see, basically any rom com ever involving owen wilson.

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here we go much better, hello monday.

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kinda tinier after friday and saturday’s back-to-back tmr sessions (i discovered last night that i have stripper upper-ass/lower-back muscle now). this outfit is also semi-truck driver inspired but more so winter cabin doing dishes and transporting logs. um, i live in my head way too much.

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brennen said it’s ok for all the partying i/we do. you work super hard you have to party super hard to balance it out. i wonder who would win in a party battle, me or him?

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i don’t know how but my eyebrows were nicely tinted on monday all on their own and by the way i rediscovered my dimples yesterday and practiced in the mirror beside my bed. i am going to land so many more deals now just wait and see and when i go to speak at streetsville high to a class on how i made it big i will say all that regular shit i say but i will impress on the importance of dimples, knowing their power, and when to use them.

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summer wheatley rounded bangs. sitcom bangs. tv watching bangs.

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things look more serious from below. the subject is thinking. she is brooding. shit is serious.

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mmm yes.

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you can see one of my cute beauty marks.

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my turn. if this one doesn’t say stepford slave then i don’t know what people.

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brennen was impressed by my skills. i said i used to round brush blow my hair all the time as a teenager. my mom started me young. i got highlights for the first time in grade, 7 or 8? once you start you can’t stop. ps. um ladies, brennen is the one who will have his hands on you when you have your blow out tutorial not to be a pimp or anything but, the dude is fine.

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he was talking to me and the dryer’s fan was blowing his hair back like a fucking harlequin book cover and i was like um can you keep doing that i have to take a picture of it. ok that’s nice now, can you do that again but this time, take all of your clothes off. right meow.

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these aa pants had a tear on them when i bought them. instead of being a priss i just sewed it up so my pants have a scar. also fyi you are the opposite of invisible when you wear red pants on a snowy day so prepare yourself for that.

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i kept getting prettier and prettier. brennen confirmed this.

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i kept flashing game show smiles at myself and then busting up laughing from embarrassment because it was too believable.

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woah this one’s severe like, just beneath the surface, she may buckle under the pressure meanwhile brennen is obsessing over his work.

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by summer my hair will be mid-back length.

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so get out of my goddamn way when that happens i will be royally egotistical so however much you like me now enjoy it as it will be depleted day by day by day leading up til then. the longer your hair the more vain you are, my crazy friend told me once. crazy friend? which one, i know right.

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looks darling all clipped up.

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finishing spray.

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and voila, good to go. take care now, bye bye then.

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the next person to join The Motion Room gets a big surprise/prize, sur-prize? anyway. it’s catching on big, it’s also working for me. britt said, The motion room was probably the most fun I ever had in my life working out! Do they regularly do group training? you can schedule group training. casie said I had a blast there too! I would SO be down for a group workout.

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work-out fever.

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today’s gals be britt and april. both told me the next day they couldn’t walk. me? not the least bit sore.

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did lots of foot hurdle movements. drills. like boot camp. then combined everything we learned together for one whole routine. i only really know dance terminology so we’ll go with that.

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um this picture is hilarious look at me. am i skipping?

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i was a keener as joseph was demonstrating i jump in there every time following straight away. i am competitive and i like to pick things up immediately. i am not at all annoying.

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waterfall synchronicity.

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looking at these now based on how tired i feel and un-coordinated makes me wince in fear of tripping all over that shit. like how you get vertigo the next day after safely successfully climbing a mountain. yes that’s right i’ve climbed a mountain. look at me, of course i’ve climbed a mountain.

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that shirt i’m wearing is a small. when i was done sweating profusely into it it was an extra large. not kidding. so gross also the professional photo lights had us dripping. april shed layer after layer and um, we can’t use some of those pictures.

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stripper pole time. just kidding. balance ball squats and you snake yourself up and down up and down over and over. i was pretty good and forced myself. this is a good work out move.

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easy now april heheh.

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feelin’ it.

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this is getting me jacked for my session tomorrow. now i can seriously talk to meatheads like i know stuff one day when the snow melts and i go back to my gym on a day off TMR i’ll like, throw someone through a wall and be like SEE LOOK AT ME NOW ASSHOLES for no reason at all.

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the guy i picked up at my gym who is now my friend pretty much laughed in my face when i said i was a spokesmodel for a gym. ha i’ll show him.

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this move was impossible. we had to move it over to the floor. we outnumbered them so our collective loserness beat out drill sergeant force. all the blood rushed to my brains my head is just too heavy because i have so much knowledge of the universe.

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the move we couldn’t do on the balance ball now on the floor. look how painful it is by our facial expressions. killer. burns in your back and abdomen, feels like um, that kind of burning when you are hung and need to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW RIGHT THE FUCK NOW which means it’s working so you shouldn’t puss out, keep going and going if you ever want to look like susan powder.

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essentially similar to the backstroke.

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don’t forget to die. laughing. haha i just sent lucas some money via internet and you can insert a message along with like “drug money” or “whats up guy?” so this time i said DIE LESBIAN. that is all.

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don’t even get me started on how cute this girl is. ugh. i wonder if james was thinking dollar signs while looking at her. i know i was. hahaha.

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oh my god this was painful. i also blew it for everyone by breaking stance cos the burn was too intense and we had to do an extra 30 seconds. this was an instance when our collective loserness worked against us. sorry guys.

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much cuter now. ps i partied in that outfit the night before. i plan ahead.

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dude why am i possessed here? see how huge my shirt is I’M NOT FAT!

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hahaha this was fun aw so fun. also the extra work out i got this week really paid off. maybe i’ll work out 4 days a week.

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fitness is uber sexy but in aerobics world you are supposed to act indifferent to the awareness of it.

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another great one swung outta the park by yours truly. look how funny i am. man i am just, so multi-faceted. you can JO to me, cry to me, hate me, love me, idolize me, laugh at, with, by me. you’re welcome.

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O M G. i thought the last one was hilar to the max and untoppable. i look like a floating jiminy cricket and the bun just pushes it right over the edge. right over. i analyze things so you don’t have to.

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no words, too hot, so jealous.

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me and then april’s head ahahahaaahahahaa.

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trying to walk down the stairs was a group effort. it took way longer than it should have.

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and then we robbed a bank. go team TMR ADDICTS!

…an anchor of stability in a turbulent world (i almost used this as a blog title but then i realized it was too gay and the writer wanted me to use it as a blog title but i will not give in, i will not).

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Dear RaymiLauren

I love to check your Flickr pix and blog. You are like an anchor of
stability in a turbulent world. I don’t know how you find the energy to
keep it up.

As a new viewer, I have been continuing through your archives to catch
up on the past 10 years. Skipping around rather than going straight
through (to tell the truth I find the recent years more interesting than
the old). I got a second monitor so that I can do this more
efficiently. I look at your Flickr pix on one monitor and the blog on
the other. Or I can do my own work on the right and continuously check
your blog for new entries on the left. It is a peach of a setup. I
have attached a photo so you can see how it works. Isn’t it great? Why
don’t you give it a plug for some of your other fans to try — all the
geeks like me will go crazy.

Gotta go now . . .

Kim in Berkeley

i was already going to blog this before you told me to but wow. why are you so obsessed with getting through my pics? you must think you know me inside out by now eh.

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skinny watch 2011.

10th Anniversary–Warmup session from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

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hi there bag end. i found my faux raybans i found in the bathroom of barranga’s over the summer. britt accused them of being hers on saturday. there is nothing more purely enjoyable then knowing you are right about something so i confidently informed her these weren’t real ray bans, they are garbage ray bans found in a garbage bathroom because my life is garbage. garbage. ok i didn’t say it in that way or at all period. moving forward now.

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this is the purgatory vestibule of adventurehouse separating the real world from adventureworld, will i get in this time, or will the doorknob come off in my hands? super likely. it’s like the labyrinth you better get it right on the first few turns. i got desperate today but my trusty hardware skills came back to me, i calmed down and wiggled and jimmied until it clicked. took about five minutes. phone was dying too. CONTACT EVERYONE SEND HELP I CANNOT GET IN. but i did. crisis averted.

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i like ezra’s pound. a lot. if i was a different person when i lived on st. george i might have occupied that place at the time. i will show you photos of my old balcony later on. i could never show it because we lived in a super easily identifiable condo. one of the top ten to live in in the city (there was an article clipped to the corkboard in the laundry room informing us of this) anyway, our balcony was the same size as our unit, pointed, expansive and looked on to the park with all those screaming children.

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once you see one thing, you see it everywhere. like the typewriter in my painting. or my red docs. i’ve seen so many people in oxblood eight holes.

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winterland.

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where am i? when am i?

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my girl, my girl. don’t lie to me. tell me where did you sleep last night?

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oh man, what a night. worlds collided. huge time. my ex, two groups of friends i stopped being friends with when we split, well, one set still friends with but kinda separated, you can’t have everyone. the other set just took his back, no dice, some of these people i never liked anyway and actually somewhat despised only because they were nothing but condescension and passive aggressive cuntyness and then this nite all was confirmed yes in fact, she spoke shit about you tons all along. excuse me while i take an i told you so bow. some chicks just always gotta be the alpha.

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happy birthday alicia!!! you guys got married i’m so happy for you. i am serious about consulting for joe and adam’s magic career.

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brad was newf drunk. i was drunk drunk. britt was HOSED.

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she loves this photo. i got brad hooked on this stuff. oh right i owe you for some of these drinks.

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i wanted to give my card out to a few dudes but everyone was gonged and i feel like if i give a guy the tiniest (non-existent to the naked eye) inkling of an opening of a chance and they don’t take it then they are not man enough for me and in the crush of bodies i was definitely thumper prey, everyone cock-blocked each other. i did make out with that los angeles dude slut that kenny and betty dragged in down by the bathroom. i was over it immediately.

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next time just wear the scarf.

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american gothic. i lined up the cn tower through the window.

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brad photobombs me. he’s been doing it since before it became a meme. trailblazer!

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we were getting jacked on chocolate coffeebeans and champagne pomegranate mimosas.

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tired looking furry and pink. a dude behind me snickered that someone would be putting this photo ON TO THEIR FACEBOOK and the leatherface wet blanket gold digger with him watching the football game smiled. i whipped my head around and glared at her then went back to ignoring them. then they left shortly thereafter. don’t fucking instigate shit and then back down from it friggin pisstank sittin’ around a pub all day drinking in the afternoon.

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so we got up and took this photo and i didn’t look over at them once but they were totally watching. this happens in restaurants ALL the time, complacent smug unhappy chicks chowing down on deep fried platters oh what fun your life is we’ll just sit down now and try to be as invisible as possible so that you don’t have to feel threatened.

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WALL OF SMUGNESS.

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purgatory sinners.

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sinless.

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it’s a sin looking this good. ha. get me a tshirt and a sharpie, quick quick the asshole from within is emerging.

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one day when i have two seconds i am going to get my ears pierced.

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they make my ears bright red and kinda hurty. melodie can’t believe women back in the day used to do this. these are screw on. visualize it. your ear in a vise.

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this is one of my cute manipulative faces you see once you are already “in” and we’re messing around and i am trying to get you to make me something to eat.

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this is fakey smile shyness pose when too many dudes in the room are staring at the platinum mega blond girl.

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shy trying to be fierce above it pose.

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pretending to do something showcase the other side of the face pose. this is good for at indigo.

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bridget jones outfit i wore to andy’s poolhall friday night. i got made fun of and also encircled by several horny mobs of dudes both melodie and i did our girl gang dance routines they are quite the hit especially when you couldn’t give a fuck about anyone in your immediate vicinity, you look cool and dance sexy and awesome.

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this is the chasing after mark darcy in the snow without pants on outfit she wears. all the meatheads loved it cos of my running shoes. nerds.

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paddock earlier than that, post existential play me and superjew went to. i’ve in the past exclusively only ever inhabited the paddock on blow so it’s weird to go there like normal clientele, consisting mostly of rich got something to show whilst being casual types.

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i looked like this.

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my graffiti time capsule from four years ago is still there.

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sometimes my life feels like a graphic novel.

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i live in the west end of the city. when i have an appointment in the east(ish) i spread myself around quite a bit, killing time, making my way home, waiting for dates.

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sometimes it feels like i am eighteen again wishing i was an adult having a life i now presently lead and totally not being happy enough with it.

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hair blow out tutorial thinger with fabfind at brennen demelo. official post coming another day. brennen did my roots too what a doll. such a coincidence to revisit my old salon who want to steal me back. hair world, man, it’s cut throat. punintentional.

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showed up like this. anita is that you?

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oh shawna.

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nice. where’s dan deacon?

uh oh spaghettio gotta go!

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i barely made it into adventurehouse. the doorknob almost came off in my hand. that’s the latest adventure in these parts. will i be able to leave adventurehouse today? we will see.

yes i realize my letter was 80% about how people are looking at me.