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weird bubble day. snow shuts it all down. the night before it like christmas eve. we went to mitzi’s and we drank. i cannot wait for winter to be over and to blame everything on something new.

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the chicken rotisserie at easy, on spelt. we loved this spelt. soon i’ll be getting my hands on some spelt bread at shasha for the family day tour of the factory. oh and before i forget/unrelated, erica come to saturday boot camp with me. it’s $25 bones. anyone else game let me know. i missed my session today and james got wicked pissed at me for it though i thought my colleague canceled it for me. he did not. tell me, when someone says to you in text at 8am “i canceled the gym today” do you interpret that to mean FOR YOU or “i took care of it” ? yes. me too. thanks for agreeing with me. if i get in shit from one more fucking person i am going to take up monster truck racing (passengering) and ride over garbage and houses be totally destructive until my contact rage passes.

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i advise you to watch your a$$. premenstrual guy. the horror of my life is getting to me.

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did i tell you we are naming all of the rooms in advhaus yet? i’m telling you this because we haven’t named the dining room yet. the hallway is called amazon river.

it’s windy like a river and long and scary and things might bite you and pull you under (down the stairs) i wonder if our cheese boutique platter will be ready in time for this saturday night (our jambo at salvador darling) please do come, it will be the first of a monthly series of adventurehouse on the road parties. my room is called tickle trunk grove. the livingroom is partially known as curtains place. FACEBOOK INVITATION LINK

you are seriously mistaken if you think it’s not going to be slammed. no one’s shouted out a dress theme yet but you know me, i like to bring it in the attire department and don’t you know melodiva also likes to kick it. ooh maybe she’ll go as jenean, the mean babysitter. super mean.

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oui oui. ok i just figured it out, it’s lady night a la revolutionary road and if you make one mad men reference you can fucking forget about it right now. real life shit only.

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look it’s me hi i am cute it’s true, we can talk about it. i’m open. sometimes i feel bad for people who get conned into looking deep into my scandinavian wood wife good looks i know it’s coming and then SLAM right in the face what a eye scoop. i know it should be an eye scoop but i’m really trying to drive the stupidity personae today. then steer it right into tomboy jerkoff. they’re pretty tied.

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home made thai curry made just for me by a special buddy. what is the male equivalent to the saying special lady friend? hahaha. very nice evening. watched the sag awards was utterly confused by it the entire time. betty white you my girl, ho. fo sho.

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look what i did. i enjoy obsessively tidying up after myself killing time until the next task. a lot of a type personalities are like this. total sickness. don’t worry i do not make a habit of this shit. feeling the need to clean up psychotically to make your partner love you more is desperate and sad. guess how many times i used to do it all the time. cleanliness is a buffer.

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i was proud of this. the american runs the dishwasher for like three cups and a bowl. madness. typical american. i had three cups of those instant starbucks jobbies. i like them. very easy. will start doing that now and kill the planet until starbucks is synonamous with wal*mart.

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jughead’s girlfriend slash sweet onion bun of perfection. if you wanted to endearingly call me sweet onion i wouldn’t be adverse to it.

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i love raymi’s mailbag. what could it beeeeee?

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oh happy surprise.

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jesus so angry. kind of scary in a psychic’s crystal ball reading of my valentine’s day future if it doesn’t go the way i want i will be standing in my room staring into betty‘s eyes. they are very nice and soft to squeeze like a tension ball i can tell the foam core is similar to some orthopedic pillow stuffing.

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dude relax! ok here’s what the cute and clever copy on the tags read:

a monster named betty

when watching sentimental movies with her friends, betty is the only one who doesn’t cry. she’s a “realist”.

she’s made in toronto and is organic hippie nerd approved. alrighty i asked for two so i could give one away. so, who wants a betty? what sad bastard chick like me out there with anger problems and quite possibly other mental ailments needs a litle pick-me-up in the mail care of aunt raymi? ***tell me why in the comments i should send you a betty*** so we can be betty friends wow is this gay or what and you know what i’ll open it up to dudes, you have feelings too right? somewhere in there. say it don’t spray it. you have until saturday.

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really love the royal york hotel because it reminds me of home alone 2 and the hotel kevin stayed in, the ritz? i love that movie.

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thought about going to the roundhouse saturday night but it was a $600 ticket for a japanese festival dinner of some sort. hmm, that’s a little out of my price range and i don’t care enough about it to make calls and make it happen. we went out for cheaper sushi elsewhere on queens quay.

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dreary out there. i was warm up in a cloud smoking clouds the wifi was out (i unplugged the jack a bit oops) i obsessively cleaned the condo lovingly did the dishes worked on the bed took a lot of photos of myself, enjoyed the vitamin d from the sky and all the window light cos i know i don’t get enough of that, i’m a bit of a hermit and adventurehouse is also know as curtains place, swathed in weatherstripping i literally live in a bubble wrapped room. quite cozy though.

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remember when i was tanned? roots are growing innnnn. my princess earphones match my diamond earrings.

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snow queen. i have no idea why people try to tell me they like my dark hair better like i asked (please shut up already or write it in your nerd journals i’m fucking busy)(this guy de-friended me over it! he’s the one who started it and got rude then personally attacked me).

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taking photos like this is a trip, back to the old school. is it good? we soon shall see. it has actually re-ignited my fondness of photography and if these are in fact any good then we know i am skilled.

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skilled and beautiful. i have my poses down pat. melodie said she doesn’t pose, jokingly as i was taking her photo and she was posing and i said well do you want to look good in a picture or not? up to you.

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this is what happens when the internet doesn’t work.

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and it’s like minus sixteen outside.

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that looks like a harajuku masterpiece. my hair. and a sweet onion. same colour too.

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this ring matches the cute little socks i bought.

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i can’t change any of the settings on the camera. i can’t make videos. i am actually going to have to spend money on a camera now.

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this part of my outfit is the hunter from red riding hood and robin hood. did robin even wear a hood? no he didn’t he wore a stupid fucking peter pan hat. get it straight dickheads. we’re now in denis leary stand up phase. speaking of stand up wait’ll you get a load of what happened at the rivoli monday night.

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woah check my eyes. scary.

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these cups aren’t big enough for the insta brew. i drink my coffee in this big cup melodie and lucas got at her brother’s wedding (congratulations adam and olga june 20 2010 thanks for the mug i get more out of it than those kids do) as well as a cheers pint from boston.

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i made my own infinity pool inspired infinity mug. things are fun in my castle on a cloud. (name the musical)

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grey day grey building concrete everywhere bleh it’s like 1976.

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i wore oatmeal aa tights over my brown leggings and my big drapey sail shirt. steph loves the story about me wearing it on a windy day riding my bike up huron against the wind already battling up hill i was in hell it sucked then i blew super fast through the intersection like an actual fucking sail no one saw coming. it was hilarious. hell, then hilarious. that would be me.

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dom was hilarious.

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the american almost punched out this piece of trash. we were a classier version of these drunken wastoids blabbering in the front row, those bottles on the table are their after-carnage, they were totally drinking all day long. then the last comic said i was really chatty during his set we wanted to leave for but stayed to be polite (how canadian) and i was like oh no you didn’t, i go, oh, are you calling me out? in a snarky sarcastic voice that makes you want to punch me in the face and it kind of ruined the rest of his set. whatever man the entire fucking night was a gong show everyone was loaded and intense, sloppy and genius. the guy also goes oh, YOU have a bottle of wine. ha yeah that’s right motherfucker we also had a half litre before it. (the american doesn’t know what a litre is).

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so once the drunk girl said to the metro comedian that he likes to take it in the ass (ten times)(gay slag not cool) my rage boiled over and i said ok honey you are so trashy, that is SOOOO trashy and you! to the guy, your hair is too stupid for how mouthy you’re being right now and he goes i haven’t said ONE word (bullshit they were loud talking through the entire show, 4 comedians before that) aggressively towards me and then the american gets up to punch him and then it was a mob scene of people everywhere. wasn’t it great! i liked that i had my grandma’s rich girl kercheif on and smug bottle of wine on the table. i don’t normally go classist but if you hate slur then you best be prepared to get put in check, bitch guy i will guttermouth you in to next week. then i was worked in to various comedian’s acts then it was all downhill from there and i was “talking too much” hero to zero, that’s how i did.

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prior to that everyone in the room took turns telling them to shut the fuck up, fuck off, be quiet, super yelly too. everyone knew it was coming it was just a matter of who would claim the prize. your hero did not disappoint guys.

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i had the quinoa salad, we shared the chicken curry roti (still the best) as the wookie balls. i decided on everything because i am controlling like that and know how to do everything the right way. it’s not bossy really i just feel that if you’re going to experience a place you’ve never tried before, have the best of what it has to offer. have the best experience always. why settle for less? i am not a settler. this is why i am going to die alone on toronto island in my crazy lady garden with long white gandalf hair pretending i’m the spaced out chick from the robber bride. she hugged her lover with an egg in her pajama pocket from her henhouse and it crushed, she was going to make it for him for breakfast. um, darling much?

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i look like a quebecois countryside apple farm family restaurant danseur. yes they actually exist, culled from personal experience here. you’re welcome for the schooling. this post is super longgggg ughhh.

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weird but kinda, good?

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now a word from the blackberry photos.

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this one i am cute in because i am kind of boyish in it. you can only enjoy me in the way i tell you to.

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hoof it home no way please i’ll take me time right here.

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my head is cropped and fitted perfectly in this shot.

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too ronaldy too clowny too crazy. i’ll do it with something though sometime.

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ring matching.

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nana says i am bonnie. that means curvy hot. nana you are a perv. amazing. mom send me those pics of nana in her nightie.

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i hate that i missed my tmr today. they have me by the nards. i’ll post my assessment pictures soon. i look visibly upset in them. it was the day i cried about learning my weight. how can i look like this yet weigh so much?

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bye

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the jerk store called and said they were running out of me so i gotta go now. to burnoutington. to grab my longboard. i am requested for an audition. they need another queen west skater girl. if i get it i go to chile to film the commercial. so this means i have to get my passport photo taken whilst in the west i’ll go to the same place i went to last time and go have a tan while they’re being developed like last time and i’ll scowl like last time, my hair is the same length i can totally look like me 5 years ago except skinnier in the face.

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ok wipe that horrible photo from your memory with this!