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HALLO DAHHLINGS! Welcome to Raymi’s Guide to “being that girl” which entails being a spokesmodel for as many high quality, elite, fun and cutting edge things as one girl can manage. The prettier you are, the more they want you so go game show. Picture yourself as a 6 foot cardboard dork holding a tennis ball or something ahahhaha. now, REALIZE that vision!

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dress for a nightclub in the day.

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holy crap i am an amazon. tsk tsk my dress string.

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i suggested BOOM bikinis. guess where we’d put the yolks.

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i also named a new menu item they launched. it’s a pun. no one could guess what it was when i asked on twitter: spanish fun guy is A CHORIZO SAUSAGE ROLLED IN A MUSHROOM OMELETTE.

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i love that patio. very resort feeling.

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look at my deformed dancer’s toes.

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i brush up on norway and tony shows me a comic he posted that offended a customer that they had to take down. it was of a baby chick chirping at an egg yolk and well look.

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spanish fun guy comes with all the fixings. the potato frites are delicious, pre-salt seasoned with rosemary mmm deadly.

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i had the NICE WHITE TUNA – (delicious!) Albacore white tuna, hard boiled egg and guacamole dressed with lettuce and olives.

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it took awhile to finish. but that i did. then i went on a mental case run.

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i look like one of the muppets. don’t be jealous now.

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it is a delicious sandwich. i wanted to try for the iconic paris hilton hamburger photo but i was afraid the sandwich would accordion open onto the patio.

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testing the fun guy.

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it’s spicy. i likey.

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SHE’S A LADY WOAH OH OAH SHE’S A LAAADY!

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yum yum yum hey where did the other half of my sandwich go?

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hey where did my sunglasses go? hey where did my youth go? hahaa.

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uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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that’s not flab it’s a rippling abdominal muscle but anyway on the way in colleague makes a nipple remark and i look down and go ohhhh riiiight. had a mini cardigan but i was kind of secretly resentful cos i typically play it sharon stone, why do people have to comment on that i don’t care if you see it i can have my shirt off altogether if i goddamn want right? i felt like he was slightly sabotaging my confidence in a manner and i merely swatted it away. don’t knock my game when the show is about to go on ever again dude seriously. also speaking of colleague, i read in a thread someone tried to slander me and say i don’t have any colleagues it’s just my friends taking my photos and yet if it was my friends why aren’t any of them in these photos with me? and if i don’t have a colleague who is hooking up all of my friends by proxy/way of/courtesy me? i love it when you try to make me your villain you swine.

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and now that i am finished my diva rant for the time being lets talk about the new WHADYATHINK? FEEDBACK app that BOOM has at all three locations and when you’re done (only takes a minute) you get to claim your prize. mine was a Cappuccino Freddo (a slushy coffee drink which also contributed to the most epic run of my LIFE afterward) aaand all you do is answer the questionnaire about the service you received at boom, it gets emailed directly to tony, awesome eh. no feedback cards i totally wish the hotel we just stayed at had one of these because now i have to fill out my complaint the old fashioned way that i’m sure some smug prick will just pitch. ok lets see me do it!

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WHADYATHINK RAYMI?

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don’t think too hard now you are not being graded on this. but it was hard to remember if we had been greeted or not within 1-5 minutes because they saw us coming a mile down the road, and then waiting at the lights. i kind of stood out a little up there on st. clair.

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30 seconds how’s about that!

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look i am pointing really good here right? it’s from all that imaginary holding a tennis ball practise. pays off.

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how clean is boom? spotless.

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then say something extra like I LOVE RAYMI! or RAYMI SUCKS! or THANKS FOR THE GENEROUS RAYMI D LIST COURTESY (DISCOUNT!) JUST BY SAYING HER NAME TO OUR SERVER. HST FREE! i can’t stop caps locking sorry.

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done and done they make the best coffee.

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my little pink swarovski bracelet exploded on me in the hotel i have all the beads still though.

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going in to collect my freddo. speaking of, don’t i belong on an italian gameshow shaking my behind and other such self-exploitative nonsense? yes? hell yes?

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i look like a halloween scarecrow creature.

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ZAP BLAMMO TADA!

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woah intense cuckomungo but yeah, get a classy diner joint under your belt girls and you’re gettin’ there.

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oh hey what’s up haha weird!

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if all else fails you can pick up a baby boomer at any of the locations take your pick. butter up tony, he’s eccentric, biting, endearing and kind. these are his glasses.

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til next time buddies. xoxo

wish me luck i’m climbing a mountain today!

carhole hang!

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we’re pretty much wayne’s world 3 right now. good thing they’re both on vacation too. foursome couple expedition pretty funny.

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plus steph’s shirt puts it over the edge. i gave it to her. she already has one exactly like it but thicker for winter. i am getting rid of my possessions guy. bagism.

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persian’s. they’re a finnish doughnut, very airy and sugary and smothered with super rich sweet icing. thunder bay-centric make sure you have one. to be a puritan of one though is to have the raspberry cherry original flavour, this one was just a different flavour. cinnamon chocolate. we were insane after eating these, got a 6 pack. you can get the icing in tubs. this plus coffee holy crap.

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instant convert.

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this head sex shop was having a moving clearance. i kind of want these stripper heels but i feel that’s playing with kismet in a majorly strong way.

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we were into that hot dog making a flame race for the slutty bun.

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we saw terry fox for my second time. emotional holy place. the first time i saw it i got teary over terry.

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it’s pretty much where he ended his run across canada.

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great view.

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you throw quarters onto the monument as donations to cancer, to pay tribute, good luck and you aim for your hometown on the map of canada.

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that mountain over there is the sleeping giant. see his mongolian head staring up at the sky?

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too bad no sun today. tomorrow will be a scorcher. we will be climbing the mountain.

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they met cos of me. i guess i have to prepare a stupid gay speech now right? they also set the date too for next september. guess i’ll be subletting a house here bahahaa.

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i was hoping to find merchandise like a hooter’s uniform of terry’s notorious hipster short shorts and hippie vintage tee. no dice.

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i’m into rural and desolate and, the nothingness. a woman at the supermarket was mega impressed by my tri-summer residency here. everyone knows everyone it’s pretty cool. to be the outsider.

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this is not the mountain, but the one before it. OK NEVERMIND it is the right oNE! gaaah.

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that’s the inn. we almost went to a dance there once but we pre-drank for too long and missed it. we went to the legion and got sloshed. after dinner tonight we’re going to the car hole slash rehearsal space and we’ll sit on van double seats as couches hahah teacher is having a great time.

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their new place is beautiful.

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our room. so cozy. it’s like being in a cool cabin and you can see the mountain it’s ahhhhh so peaceful.

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the master.

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log pillow.

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steph’s crazy woman room ahahahha i mean her moon room. in the native world when women are on their period it’s called their MOON TIME and they don’t have to chop wood or forage for berries or make dinner or wash dishes until it’s over isn’t that amazing but that’s great too cos on our moon time we get the dropsies and are clumsy bumbling retards.

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this is the ugly room, or, the thinking room. the hang room.

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bacon vodka. i introduced this homemade vodka brewing method my first year here.

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they’re gonna pitch it but funny eh it’s like sunday morning grossness on the kitchen counter.

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we’re having shorelunch for dinner. deep fried pickerel. i am so going for a run tomorrow on top of mountain climbing. also making a salad and grilling peppers and zucc.

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the backyard is super dreamy too.

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persianman!

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perfect fit.

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i pointed out the wolf ashtrays on our way in and then on our way out i bought one for them and she’s like we bought one for ourselves! hahahha.

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no regrets! regrets!

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i missed.

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down there was an amazing suspended train track like in stand by me. ancient.

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i liked the canadian pride coloured flowers.

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trucks flying by you like crazy evergreens everywhere it’s a nice drive. thrilling.

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i love discounts.

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me now. my hair is a disaster so i don’t think will be taking many more photos tonight. kay, dinner and bowie time now. sayonara.

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mount mckay aka thunder mountain. this is my third consecutive thunder bay summer. why? the eternal search i suppose and turns out this place is swarming with norwegians, finnish, danish, scandinavians aaaand i recently learned there’s a possible (probable) scandinavian streak in me by way of my grandmother (rip) sheila, which explains the blond hair (brother and i were both born blond, i more so than him) and the, awesome?

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anyway we had a hotel crawl of this hotel that is based on a viking theme lay-out and they give you a map and it looks like middle earth, seriously, totally perfect LARP convention weekend, and the map only represents the first floor. there are five and multi-level bizarrely placed elevators. unfortunately not like willy wonka’s glass elevataors this one will not fly vertically to the adjacent tower where our room is. in short, we’ve been walking in circles through the shining. plus, the staff are aggressive. writing a letter.

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willy wonka shower though. we have a luxury suite. it’s gorgeous. we are practically ON the landing airway strip too i saw the hotel FROM the plane.

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there is celtic font words written with names like SCANDIA II gold gild wood dark hallways of rooms leading to weird bomb shelter plaster dorm-like cult compound lesser luxury suites, the room we got for steph & rye which is kind of amazing as it’s tree-level overlooking the courtyard, cottage treehouse cavernous.

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it’s a pretty wacky tripped out scene. we are annoying the hell out of this hotel they feel as if they are babysitting us. i wrote ahead and was assured VIP treatment and instead of that we are getting dog shit. maybe that’s the norm here apparently they have a thing against southern ontario which triggers a memory i stifled from last summer of how rude everyone was to me and i was in my own mega-depression so was aloof to it but now i’m kind of hyperly-focused (as teacher says) so i can’t not see it. anyway we’re having a great time so complaining is dumb. but that’s what canadians do. complain.

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but not in paradise.

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great sun. very quiet. a convention was going on and we walked by in our degenerate bathing suits robes smoking drinking while a reunion or club reception of sorts went on. we were in the pool watching and they watched us back, like cedar rapids (the movie, watch it it’s hilarious) and an older loner man read the longest winter by the pool while steph and i swam. why is he reading a depressing book about the longest winter in summer?

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it took them 4 hours to bus our table after we were done with this and they chastised us for being 2 minutes late to get it on this courtyard THE ONLY ONE IN ALLOF MIDDLE EARTH at this place. i was huffed at on the phone, CORRECTED, snarked with glee that it was 5 after eleven once the kitchen was closed. just ridiculous. vip my ass ian.

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mountains everywhere. or the same mountain.

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steph wore my jumper when i took us to see florence. i am giving it to her.

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see? kind of like being in a school.

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our room. we have a mountain view.

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that was stuck to the wall.

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so we had to order pizza. we watched hanna. half of it. amazing film.

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the best pizza. best. best i’ve had in a year? i’ll find outthe name again. also in part cos of the way i topping’d it but it was their pepperoni that put it over the edge of greatness.

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polluted. maybe we’ll climb the mountain today.

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they said my bubbles hat won.

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ok gotta check out now.

xoxoxo

thunder babes from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

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went on a crazy run yesterday.

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yeah look how hyper i look.

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now picture this scaling a mountain.

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that mountain.

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pretty tropical there in the sumer time.

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you get vertigo the next day or at night lying in bed picturing this but while there it’s totally cool. it looks like you could be in fiji when you look out on to the water, lake superior? islands foreverrrr.

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also flying into danger zone. forest fires. jesus right?

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gahah wiener. found bottles of stephy’s favourite discontinued iced tea vodka and kept one for us. like pirate stow-aways i hope they make it safely in our luggage we checked. pretty delish.

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we HAVE to climb this mountain i talk about it all the time, we didn’t climb it last year. i am going to do it in my vintage keds meredith got me from saskatoon last summer, they’re already pretty dirty and i didn’t have a chance to make it to adventurehouse to grab my desert trek clarks which you can see i wore last time, sockless. animal. bug spray? we’ll outrun ‘em i said. now it’s a thing down there outrunning mosquitos.

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steph wiped out right here last time with that daquiri bottle in her hand. didn’t smash. phewf.

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but it is beautiful replete with train and it’s going to be HOT. we’re going tubing, beer float tubing.

okee dokeeeee see ya in the sky.

two-hander from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

i’ll be checkin’ in to the legion again and signing the book and entering in the meat draw haha. you can’t swear in there either. look out!

also, the roof blew off the thunder bay airport last week so, these are all good omens.

we watched sucker punch last night. holy hot film. highly suggest you watch it. there’re numerous raymi correlations throughout. it’s like nerd geek dude comicon p0rn.

we were actually in a fight at the time. HIS FAULT!

‘Bright Lights Bigger City’ by Cee Lo Green from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

here’s another lois dress. crazy right?

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http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5973015696/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5973023478/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5973031192/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5973032372/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5972472463/in/photostream/

was also filming this simultaneously on the macbook. don’t worry that angle was loads more retarded so you don’t have to watch it again.