Brunch Bonanza!

I am an adult who eats brunch now, while real adults beside me drink pints because they had brunch at breakfast time.

I still can’t get over accidentally telling our burlington waitress to fuck off over email this week and having zero recollection of it (when you are a techno kid it’s ingrained to just reply to people without thinking and actually is becoming a problem, second to sleep texting) but she didn’t mind, like, at all. I just sat there stunned and mortified and then she lovingly treated us all like her children and stacked mountains of buffet goodies on our plates. My dad laughed and laughed, I think they had a show down one day themselves and she thinks my dad swore at her too. Hey lady it runs in the family. We are regulars now and the Croat owner was happy to see me. There’s a drama club that brunches there too and I have figured out (with zero hard fact to back it up) it is because of the Justin Long look-a-like who serves in his shorts with a professional smile plastered to his face and dotes on all the cotton heads like they’re Versailles high society. Like I said, we adore this place.

No, not this place where I am presently sitting. This one is a little less small towny charm. Our bacon was stone cold. No big deal, they sent more, steaming sizzlingly hot this time. We are going to film a mini movie short here called the Bacon Jinx. Mark my words. Can’t give it away but it’s an inside retarded hangover joke type thing. How else do SNL writers get skit idea (other than my blog) inspiration? From real life. Next up is one about loading the dishwasher bet you can’t wait!

Another hat score from Adventurehouse garage sale, was almost going to give to Hailey but I love how it brightens my face, I tried it on and we were wowed, blown away. My face is skinnier than it was last winter so I can wear this hat. The end.

I love the Gladstone, we had a lovely brunch.

I’ve had this jersey since I was 16. When I wear it, people hear the story about it for miles and miles.

We are going to have to do something about this mirror situation, we need to see ourselves dance in here and this crappy little thing isn’t gonna cut it. I’ll worry about that tomorrow. That’s my favourite way to deal with things. That’s what Jack Kerouac wrote about the Mexican dudes he tented with in Mexico, Mañana means tomorrow. They didn’t get shit done all season thanks to this epithet. Meh life is short.

I don’t look so bad for someone who got a total of ten hours sleep in 4 days right? No makeup either.

I will be be very good the next two nights. I have two on camera things on Wednesday and tomorrow is Burlesque rehearsal (DECEMBER 18 IS OUR SHOW PLEASE COME!) so as much as I’d like to put my face in a burger king stacker right meow, I cannot. My mom asked me how I keep my weight off and it’s pretty simple, restrict tons, and when you booze, no beer ever. Watch the carbs, blabbity blah this is boring.

It’s just very annoying being asked what my secret is when some girl comes by my blog once a year or so and asks, all blown away by present day tiny Raymi. Dude you do some of the work and find out yourself by cycling through my archives, that kind of lazy asking me to do it for you attitude is just the very reason why you may be a blob and I am not. You see gradually over time what I am eating or not and how. When I sit down with people to eat and I see how they eat and I then fuckin tell them and meanwhile they’re stuffing potatoes in their face this tells me that they really do not want to get thin so they should just STFU and leave me alone about it. Determination is my secret. Being driven. Then take that and go through my archives because I have given enough. I have several skinny tip posts you can google, guide to nicole richie and how i got skinny.

Bitchy part over, fun time now. I always try to blog and multi-task at the same time which becomes hard to separate emotion from stuff at points, like hearing an annoying anecdote about someone beyond your control, I can’t tune it out so I have to shut down all channels, FB, twitter email, and put my phone on the other side of the room. Sometimes my muses suffocate me. Blog comes first is my rule.

Start a project and people will finish it. Worked for the xmas tree, this gingerbread train and the beatles puzzle. I am a genius.

Hailey’s cards are getting better and better. I said my Christmas card better be three feet tall and feature sparkles and Hello Kitty.

The claymore is upside down.

I wonder what I was eating. I am hungry. I am in a pigging out mood. That’s bad.

This one also collapsed. Not my fault. It looks like a trainwreck. Ha.

This is torturing me. It was a pure Home Alone pizza delivery moment when stacked at the front door by the tree but my dad moved it too quick and I didn’t want to go hey excuse me I have to take a picture of the pizza by the door. Snooze ya lose, blogger.

I knew Linda would help. My role at this party was social butterfly. I did not disappoint.

Whirlwind family weekend. To the max. Spilled right out of a Ghostface hangover. I sent my brother a pic of concert and he was like, that is SO random.

Philly cheesesteak pizza is my fav.

Staring at it helps my present starvation.

Shawn texted that my uncle was “fking hammered” Ha perfect. We had a good time.

Rippin’ on each other all night long.

And my Uncle’s glasses somehow got busted during their game of cribbage. Nice.

This time bet your behind we laid foundation icing and by we I mean them.

Teacher impressed, less heat on me phewf, now fade in to back..ground….

Looks wicked. Shawn had some gum. Ew I remember in the supermarket as a kid I had graham crackers then some gum from a bin and the combo of differing food textures, I have never gotten over it.

It’s always a good idea to play wasted family scrabble everyone always gets along! LOL.

Look it’s the minx who stole christmas appearing! Don’t blink!

I gave her my camera and said go nuts.

That’s a good family portrait, I’d say.

Hailey was reading her diary from three years ago I was like I am DYING to read it!

Ok you are definitely related to me heehee. She gives us attitude it’s funny, for now. Which is exactly how we started out then by fourteen it was irreversible.

That computer is so not long for this world.

Then mom drops in to get Hailey.

That’s the one.

The richest chocolate cake ever.

Dr. Robert time? Ok we have to get something from the car!

Scary Christmas neighbourhood monster!

Ambitious task that we got pretty far with.

The drum took an hour. The different fonts, the design, oy vey.

Poor Ringo, why so glum? Ooh Take out time. Teacher bought a christmas tree this morning on his way to work, he means business. I forgot to get my decorations from my dad’s again. Dad can you find them for me?? Thanks! Bye dudes. Monday Madness is over!

Well I for sure know where my affinity for sparkles comes from.

My hair is awesome!

BRB!!!!! Our place is next for xmas dress-up I don’t know how we’ll dance rehearse in here with a tree. Yeah yeah this post is lacking, it’s Monday so take what you can get. I slept in. I had awful cramps in the morning but now they’re gone, one reason why I slept in so they would go away. Just organizing my week now, tidying, and masterminding blog stuff as uje. See you soon!

ALL BOW DOWN WHEN AUNT RAYMI COMES TO TOWN!

Last night was Ghostface Killah at Sound Academy. I have walked on the CN Tower and survived a hip hop show without getting in a fight, it is safe to say that my balls are bigger. Recanize.

We came we saw we ghetto now. I Made that up sometime ago, no idea, but anyway, it’s an apt caption.

Nutmeg has been my jam for longer than you’ve been reading my blog. Actually, TBH, I started listening to Ghostface just around the time I started this retarded bulletin board. Anyway, the show was increds. I got on stage, just casually walked right on up which makes me realize I could have been standing on stage all this goddamn time at sound academy when I’m back/side-stage for bands I want to stalk/fanatic/groupie, what an idiot I am. Half of it is allowance and the other half is audacity, if you hesitate then security has a chance to consider it like maybe you’re not supposed to be back there going through their rider.

Even Raekwon showed up.

It was bananas.

At one point he said I’ma give you the same energy you give me which is a definite warranted commentary on the Toronto audience as we are known for our narcolepsy during big act performances. Not me personally I am a dance machine. Everyone was too baked I bet. Very well-mannered crowd though.

Wu Tang clan aint nuthing ta fuck wit.

Another backstage vantage point, I try not to make eye contact until I am really loaded. They all rubberneck you trying to figure out who or what you are, why you are there. Because I am planet awesome.

It was amazing to stand and dance up here and one of the hoochie girlfriends of one of these guys, maybe Raekwon’s? hugged me and said she had to pee so bad and I was like girl, this is the moment, you cannot leave now. I had to piss bad too but I was ON STAGE WITH GHOSTFACE KILLAH. I sucked my bladder in to the periphery of my mind and was as street as possible because flanking each side of me were the hardcorest thuggiest (but like big teddy bears nice?) of bros, I was like, thank god I am wearing all my bling tonight. Foresight baby. I almost got my card in Ghosty’s hand but his woman was.not.feeing.me so it wasn’t worth it, I backed off. I looked like a smarmy twat anyway.

Red shirt had a crush on me I think. Just let me think that.

That’s Prince Killah, I patted him on the back (so softly he barely noticed) but it was one of those things where bros are like ya nice lyrical freestylings turn at the mic guy, pat pat, just puttin’ you on notice that I noticed.

More footage and shots and whatever on Alicia and Teacher’s respective capturing devices. They did a good supreme clientele medley and Cherchez la Ghost my fav. I don’t know any other records but doesn’t matter it was all good live.

It’s my goal in life to see every idol of mine or meet them, so far I am doing pretty good. Just as long as they don’t die before I get a chance at them. Speaking of, Old Dirty Bastard’s son was there too!

This shirt is so small and tight it’s elasticity is being tested to the limit, it’s a shiny shirt and so not the intention of it I bet. I was dressed like Little Italy last night, tight tank and suspenders.

Pose girl child or face possible stupidity in the bg there.

We were like the only VIPs ‘cept for a few other dudes up there, a corporate function was happening up where the VIP area is and they were not stoked about a rap concert blaha. Idiots. Don’t book a corporate event on a Friday night, that’s selfish.

Ok these are what I uploaded at like 3 or something. The aftermath of the show was bullshit, no cabs, ghost town. I screamed at beck 4 times, separate calls I did. They were refusing to send more cabs, and i have 1. never heard that before and 2. that has never happened at SA before. I don’t want to make it a thing (do) but we had to go to the Distillery for a cab in subzero temperatures and I burnt my hand on a heating lamp when I was holding my hands up eavesdropping on the worst drunken convo ever, Teacher patted me on the back like, it’s almost over chum we’ve almost made it and SIZZLE. Beehive burnt imprint on my palm. Another cool story from your home girl.

Burlington time!

Oh dear. This is a relic of a suit, I was hired as the sexy santa girl for Andy Kim’s christmas special at mod club (with Esthero!) and it was awkward cos I was there with THE SANTA of Toronto but his fucking wife shows up, they didn’t hire or pay her so we all stood there together ugh so I just mingled and got wasted like a party elf jester, my mom, GOT OBLITERATED and bopped me on the head and face and talked like a yak through her Andy Kim (whom she sloppy kissed) poster at me while I was greeting everyone as they left MOM I”M WORKING FUCK OFF and her date would and could not drag her away. They haven’t called me back. I was talking to Jacob about this at Lana Del Rey, I think I was 24 22? My mom suggested I get a medium so that she could fit in to this. My nana has also worn it too. Oh god. So it’s a little bit too roomy for this exhibitionist. HO a ho ho.

Party time excellent! I want to listen to Eddie Murphy’s party all the time now. I WILL!

It came from a costume store in Mississauga. I added the apron from Nana’s house, cut and folded it.

This used to fit me like a glove. I got it from the AA warehouse sale a few years ago, then I got fat and now I am teenier than when I first bought it? SO togalicious. It coula been yours at my 10 year blogiversary party. I love my clothes all over again because I tried to get rid of all of them.

Like a glove and reversible for whichever shoulder you favour.

Dork.

I am not wearing this in public so you can get that out of your head right now.

Keep weights around always in sight and you will pick those bastards up a hell of a lot more frequently than you would otherwise, Raymi fitness tip.

The pot of stuff on the counter is my new hair product I use once a week in lieu of conditioner, just a glob the size of a nickel. It was expensive. It’ll make my hair stronger and help prevent breakage.

Shoes are scary to walk in but I can dance in them, odd right.

Love/hate this pic. More so hate.

Wow check that hair. Brennen Demelo is a genius.

I keep thinking I’m going to visit Leslie and just fly with that painting instead. My slothenly ways with sending mail are one of many shames of mine.

We were fighting about cleaning the house and I said I’m a blogger seeee in speakeasy voice and then we made jokes in bed for an hour before going to sleep. I let Stella sleep in my arms I treat her like a cat I am a giant fag.

We joked to my niece when she still believed in Santa Claus that I worked for him, I blogged for him and worked part time at the North Pole. It was a good story, modern take on Christmas. I said it was a secret though, it was when we still had Cedar Grove and I wore my santa dress for our christmas eve family hang.

LOL that blog rules. Here’s more.

Could look at these instead of my stupid ass all day right?

TGIF!

Too far? GOOD! (it’s emo day).

I was in the middle of cramps and bad. I get pms three weeks in advance then I’m normal and wondering if I am pregnant cos no cramps or any symptoms leading up to the day. I had two advils and prob why I got so loaded. Wuhoo! I look like a desperate trophy wife maybe that’s because I am! No I’m bloated and in pain.

This was an off posing night so I was like lets just look at the shoes shall we kay?

I’m going to be on MTV’s next episode of a new Social Media show next week, my heart just skipped a beat and I felt a flutter as I typed that. I am hyper self conscious of everything I type now that I know I am “being watched” which doesn’t make sense as I am always being watched but, I just hope I can hack it.

It smells so nice.

This is my impression of a twenty year old. I WISH.

It’s like the tickle trunk is here again. Whatever, what do you think a Hello Kitty insane person’s place looks like? We’re in the middle of a cleaning house stalemate and both losing.

Ha ha the cat. This is the christmas groupie outfit I wore to Lana Del Ray. It looks freakishly sunny out, ah got tings ta do.

Ghostface Killah TONIGHT!

Kinda cute in a dumbass innocent nerd kind of way? Silver fox bait for sure.

Uploaded these on second thought. The more the merrier.

Mystery Camera is better than Iphone pics.

We are still recovering from this night.

We like our idols messy.

I’ll have to watch myself tonight though cos it’s family weekend again, My Uncle is coming down.

We are Milestoner lovers. I’m collecting their bellini trinkets they throw in your drink. We go after I get my hair did around the corner and last time I saw a girl with my same hair, a sort of acquaintance and there is no way she didn’t do that to her hair because of me cos I saw her after a hair appointment at Brennen several appointments ago and maybe that was the last rip-off straw. She was sitting in my favourite booth I sat in with Brock once and with my hair holding a big goblet of wine and grinning to her date acting so, me? Ik. I almost fainted. You are not allowed in my ironic low key resto with my hair!

My pink earrings matched my shirt and nails. Ok that’s all.