what happens at blogher stays at blogher. except for dumb pictures, those come with.

this was my first walk through the convention with sarah and dee, we were beelining the wine booth at dee’s suggestion. way smart just let me slip beneath this pepsi stiletto on my way please it’s very important.

girl dinner crawl. we were a little diva parade.

erica‘s maxi dress is hot. can you guess what i’m wearing before we get to me?

speaking of diva, dee said this wine sucks and she’s the cocktail deeva so she must be right. we agreed that the label is lovely though. snap snap you’ve been blogged.

found the store where your dress came from too. i bought my bettie page shorts there. they almost gave me a discount but the ass. manager wussed out. i said if by chance the manager takes a glance at my blog you might all feel stupid i am already getting floods of emails regarding the shorts. anyway…

sometimes you get so wrapped up in yourself and work you forget to take in the scenery. beautiful architecture, is it colonial? why do i pretend like i know anything about design? it reminds me of full house, which would be san fran.

lena and i’s purses are talking. this is when we all made fun of me again and i got to express how it will all make sense on the internet. also, lena and i had a maje big brother pow wow which continued at the ford picnic too. who else is watching big brother right now?

ammar suggested this restaurant to us ladies, it’s called tabule. last minute he pulled out of the trip as his wife was going to give birth, and she did to a baby girl, congrats!

i really like stink-eye shannon (zchamu) and i’m only sorry i could barely keep my eyes open nearing the end of dinner, plus i was full on risotto (he still hasn’t emailed).

i look like i rolled out of a haystack. so tired. donna’s like yeah that’s not a good look. i love donna DONNA have a great time in europe come back soon.

hi donna! i’m signing up for shesconnected today. amazing network.

pretty mums.

gotcha. hi tenille!

rose took ammar’s stead and what a solid chick she is. that’s lena’s mane to my left and apparently kid rock behind rose haha.

lets mange!

i’m apprehensive to wear this to dinner lest i get taken to a little italian restaurant with a matching table cloth and cheap bottle of chianti with those basket weave bottoms. i’d walk in and out like a turnstile uh, lets go have japanese!

baby back ribs. mmmm.

no idea you tell me.

shrimp on portobello. TO DIE FOR.

duck tacos. one of the tops in my opinion.

more duck. lettuce wraps. lettuce wrapping is a good skinny girl substitution method for carbs.

salmon ceviche.

then i went with the roquefort salad for my main after all that as well as my full risotto tum tum. i was battling nausea (sleep deprivation and boozing, courtesy thereof) and the blue cheese dressing was too much. i stealthily pushed it away with my finger and it was whisked off without much fanfare thankfully. ps. blogher is party central if it’s not clear. fabulous time. fabulous vacay. fabulous networking and learning. not even anywhere finished sharing my coverage of it you know i like to draaag it out. i’m so welsh (sentimental) sometimes. all times.

here’s a shot dee took. it looks like i put my makeup on in a tornado.

i should have got what sarah got. she gave me a shrimp. i have been eating so much seafood lately i hope i don’t jeremy piven.

let the ford camp begin. initiation rites: spray tattoo. i chose the chevrons which mean rafter which means protection. i think.

i don’t know why but i got slightly nervous. they looked at my real tattoos and were like, are you kidding me? hahah.

yeah exactly. this is what is going on.

a little bit of this too.

and that. i am covering my camel toe. i mean, moose knuckle. i mean, what?

we spent awhile at this stall together. i should check out the pro shots that were taken, i have a handful of barcode tickets to make sense of.

okay i got it right after all. chevron is a french word meaning rafter and it signifies protection.

farah got a feather. it represents kinship and can be used in times of battle. i love this!

i said THIS IS THE PMS TABLE. they were like YUP! even gluten free brownies for nerdy sarah. who set herself on fire during last year’s ford camp. they didn’t recognize her though.

hey good lookin’! i’m talking to the car.

down by the bay shots. boring!

sarah talked about japan a lot she must have been there once or something but anyway, no, it was china, but anyway she said girls pose like this there, very dramatic and have billowy fluttering scarves. hope it spreads to the west dude you look f-ing hot!

then her boyfriend called about the plaster falling from their ceiling cos she apparently can do something about it from san diego? i was like yeah, mine told me there was a thunderstorm but it’s all sunny now. thanks phewf, was worried there for a sec. hahaa. then she’s like i like how he can’t live without me. yes it’s cute how useless guys are.

i hate you.

just kidding take me with you.

i was trying to get the sailboat but my olympus is smashed in the lcd and i know that my zooming-in (blindly) skills are terrible, the pelicans that hobo is feeding i just got close-ups of the pier legs. they’re really beautiful pictures though by the way, of pier legs and water and half of an ugly grey pelican head. can you see the dude in the cardboard box makeshift cabana on the bench. resourceful. that sun is fierce. my shoulders are fluorescent brown but anyway don’t you love how the most popular blogger in the city’s blog is held together merely by thumbtacks and glue? shit guy all my electronics are ghetto. my laptop? dust. i use the teacher’s and ba-lee me we fight over it all the time, not pretty. blackberry? the e/2 button conked out in january. camera? we already know, casie was with me the day it happened at starbucks and i SO saw a gleam of glee in her eye even though it was kind of funny cos she was so late for this test study we were both paid to have our brains picked for, they just paid her and she didn’t have to say anything at all. me though? i ripped their idea to shreds limb from limb hahaha. they couldn’t handle the truth. my purse was on the hook of the bathroom door in starbucks, i was sober, it was not a party girl move. the hook was faulty and my purse dropped and i heard a POP but didn’t think anything of it then i took my camera out to take casie’s picture and the screen had this perma-shatter that wouldn’t go away. wahh.

the point of this is do you want to sponsor me for any of the following:

LAPTOP

CELL PHONE/SMART PHONE

CAMERA

My blog receive 10,000 page views DAILY. Everyone is loving me right meow. I will be your spokesmodel. I have many fabulous events coming up too that i will also be requiring fashions for. One VERY CELEBRITY-RIDDLED event next week in fact. The mayor will be there. I say no more and there will be no hashtags for it either, it’s an oldschool elitist gala. class.

you can be any brand you like i’ll rep you. kids love me. moms. dads. cool people. dorks. freaks. celebs. artists. I got the food market on lock down too.

hark! my babysitter blogger senses are tingling, must not hoola hoop this baby in the head. car! i mean baby! ooh there’s a video of one of my SWF blogger stalkers who’s a mom and she’s hoola hooping and she hits her daughter in the head with it cos she’s so intent on making cuckoo messages to raymi and competing with me than to pay attention to her own child. gross. she’s been harassing and bullying me for over half a decade now too.

she was a phenom teacher and we jived right away. i was a little diplomat precocious girl. still am.

sarah was going to profess her love to me over a GT FORD MUSTANG cruise but the line-up was long and time was ticking to meet michelle who was leaving ahead of her back to wherever she lives. i love michelle.

i took this for a spin though. no one wanted anything to do with me. their loss. it almost tipped (barely) just the once. just the once. i needed a counter balance. who knew moms were such wimps eh? hahahah. nah my mom would have gotten in with me.

nacnud i got you one of these hats. he has a mustang too. these hats were made for men to wash the car and mow the lawn, get morning coffee in and the paper.

might have wigged them out cos i screamed out NOW SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME READ THE INSTRUCTIONS OFF THE BRAKE PEDDLE!

THE SUMMER OF RAYMI! SCREAM IT OFF A MOUNTAIN! i should have done that in tbay.

i was trying to kiss ass with the social media dude but erica was hogging him i was like girl you’re already established i need this shit. move! no just kidding. or am i? here i am BEGGING shannon to get in with me. she didn’t. pussy.

yachtzee!

dee was catching up with a pal to go surfing with and we thought we were meeting michelle except she was at another hotel and we are stupid. we seriously went in circles all weekend+ long.

ack wrinkle smush face. i put on lots of makeup, that’s my sunblock.

mega quick bettie page shop. so wanted the vintage lingerie but no time. so i need to find some quick before tomorrow. i’m going to make some calls.

goodbye drink with michelle. one by one they dropped like flies. we were bummed. i put it on my room. they were having caesars with the thickest pepper i’ve ever seen. i had a pear martini that got me gonged. i really wanted to check out the intervention party but i didn’t want to buy a ticket. vip hotel services emailed me before i checked in saying they would extend them to me so i was like well, do it then. but no guest list for the party and on principle i didn’t want to buy one. diva right? it was like a mega pool party shit show with a famous dj and i want to puke i’m so mad i didn’t go. sarah and i spent a long time in my fav jewelry store though and after dinner at nobu after she left i drunkenly splurged at the hard rock store. i could have charged that to my room too but that felt like a mega wrong abuse of privilege. only spent $65 and didn’t i mention i was drunk? i made friends with the girl there too and you can see all the other hard rock stores around the world’s camera feed, tokyo some mother lifting up folded tshirts, london, a couple looking through other crap. it was neat. not live though. i bought hailey a necklace and a tshirt i’ll show you later they’re pretty wicked. my nana and papa brought me a hard rock athens shirt back from greece when i was hailey’s age and i thought it was SO COOL one of my top 3 shirts so i want to reinforce tradition. omg i prattle on eh.

fat watch from dinner night. cool order.

smells like team spirit!

blogher big gun the one i said MY DAD HAS A FORD GT MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE to that no one heard except for sarah and thus humiliated me profusely. ok we’re even now dude.

i was trying to make fun of hippies except i can’t even play the bongos. ooh i want to go back to the catskills. leslie…

last night a raymi saved my life.

ok ok you win. then i limboed beneath these billowing ribbons and almost impaled myself flipping over a huge green ball that was placed right at the highest and easiest part of the limbo ribbon which is where I CHOSE of course to begin my stupid charade of used-to-be-flexible and, why not scream out HEY EVERYONE LOOK WATCH ME LIMBO and they turn, to look, and see ALL OF THIS.

HAPPY THURSDAY IS THE NEW FRIDAY!

your pal raymi.

and now i practise the dance! hoping to see you all tomorrow. i go on at 12.30, but will be there at ten in many fabulous costumes. rsvp and it’s FREE all night just have to make sure your name is on the list INFO@PINKMAFIA.CA otherwise it’s $10 which you can just go ahead and give to me anyway lolz. paddy cakes isn’t dancing cos her foot is broken. from wearing flip flops and walking across the city. take care of your feet dudes!

good luck deciphering this.

omg so windy and this bag is full of stuff despite dismal appearances. i have a lot more to get rid of too and will be doing so. also a select few items i’ll be saving for little raymis to fight over.

it was heavy too.

i wonder if people thought these were my clothes for a shoot or something as the bag is transparent, not ordinary donation garbage bags? which would mean why did she choose all of that weird crap to use? ah i think too much.

i liked those shoes. mesmerizing.

that shrug used to be jen‘s i believe, from her garage sale where i bartended the lemonade vodka stand and we got trashed and went on a parade around queen west to get more customers. we made jokes about how i forgot to donate it with the rest of my stuff cos it’s a bit seasoned. pretty much every sweater i own looks like shit, they live in my antique dresser drawer, the bottom which i rarely open (i should get cedar balls), white paint wood slivers embed themselves within each one, probably termites too and now my head feels itchy. luckily a big portion of my style is northern rustic so it works for me.

does this make you feel like you are donating too?

thanks courtney for the tip.

this is getting tedious but i haz a vision. i want you to flip down really fast to see if i look like a film reel. i mean if you have the time to i don’t want to bug ya or anything you’re probably really busy, like, sorry for asking.

omg so close almost there.

good thing we didn’t add books like he wanted to CLOTHING ONLY.

i made a cerebral ballzy reference. just the one and it fell flat as it should have cos he doesn’t know the band, and there’s that politically incorrect thing which i call bullshit on (life is too serious to be taken seriously). i just know their name, i bet their music is quite melodic and classical hahahaa.

so little raymi pervs you know where to go to get my old bikini. it’s clean. i think. hopefully. whatever. alicia gets rid of lingerie and bathing suits too, why should it go to waste, it’s good quality and not like you wear it like underwear anyway.

it was like mailing a letter. i can’t finish that metaphor.

look how pleased i am with myself. what a giant asshole.

and just like a mailbox meme i had to double check that it went in right even though it did as it has no other choice but to. how much do you hyper panic about your special letter magically flying away out of the mail slot cos you obviously will fuck it up somehow like only your mail is jinxed. big brother time! pumped!!! i love my reality show friends. we watch it when it’s streamed online so we don’t have to wait around like full on geeks at 8pm. we get a good buzz on then trash on it like cool people at 11 or shortly thereafter. bye now. you’re goin’ down rachel!

it’s supposed to be campy and cheeky. i was kind of low energy yesterday so this wasn’t the full routine, just practise. the video below is from may 9 2008. i’ve improved no? omg play them at the same time! lolollll.

this one has 63,882 views, 100 likes, 49 dislikes. omg i am so shy in that video and dance like a total tool. ya gotta start somewhere, no.

TWO MORE SLEEPS TIL FRIDAY. i better start on some actual choreography.

i think i can get away with wearing this inside out. i haven’t decided on my outfit yet. any suggestions?

not bad for 28 huh. if kylie can do it and madonna, don’t think i’m not going to.

woah i am pumped.

i do a song til i kill it and then come back for more. this song is in the opening credits of the lincoln lawyer. i have not stopped talking about that movie. it’s my new “IN MIAMI…” conversation starter hahaha. anyway i was grooving on it thousands and thousands of miles up in the air drinking sauvignon.

photos coming right up.

i danced until i was faint. i am exhausted. but i have been sitting on my ass all day. jetlag and getting back to sorts. back to work skipper. aye aye.

i am listening to the lincoln lawyer soundtrack (referring to title). downloaded it instantly. watched it on the plane (and 3/4 of the fighter, don’t tell me how it ends.) and thoroughly enjoyed it now my dad can stop asking if i’ve seen it.

great afternoon spent by the pool with sarah & where she fell in love with me. she has since said she didn’t really like me all that much at this point, it didn’t blossom until she got more trashed at the reception.

we made friends with others too. these chicks were hysterical. blonde to my right is the band wife of the bravery guy (their song is on the twilight soundtrack. HUGE.) and spread eagle ginger was talking about eating carrot cake and i said hold up a sec, kay, so you have red hair, an orange bikini and you’re telling me a story about eating CARROT CAKE? ridiculous. i think we were all wasted, i couldn’t tell anymore the difference between sober, jetlag, sunstroke, sleep deprivation and semi-consciousness. ps. her open leg stance is a post-feminism commentary on drunk bachelor party men coming over with bullshit pick-up lines, “hey i was looking for the deep end.” ginger and i said in unison THAT IS THE WORST PICK-UP LINE EVER. this was the weekend of busting balls.

hey is this a fat mirror? nope just fat today.

was robbed of this pool the last two days of my trip. wahh.

i thought about implants a lot. donna said if i got them then all the stupid cutesy poses i do would just be totally whorish and i couldn’t do that anymore. good point but then, do i really even have to do them at all anymore? i could potentially evolve, no?

hells bells raymeroo don’t ever get boob implants! a cups are so CUTE and perfect and look great naked! all the cutest girls at Burning Man had a cups, don’t change a thing. you are unique (and adorable)! -liz

but then i can skyrocket to infamy fast like heidi montag and make a lot more money then retire in portland. business investment. plus they’ll take the heat off my nose.

look there he is. mega-babe. they were performing that night at the same place weezer was the following evening, a racetrack? lisa did you go to that show?

oh right these are sarah’s pictures, she had a lesbo crush on this dj. i went up to her and was like, your music is awesome. yeah cool smooth. she was playing a lot of significant shit to me, like this one jam i was into last summer except last summer i was borderline suicidal (very depressed) BUT when you hear the soundtrack to your blues while staring at pleasure crafts at an event you so belong at in a cute black cocktail dress it’s a nice triumphant thump in your chest for overcoming your demons, or basically, life is better now. music can take you places man.

our favourite bodega had all kinds of weird shit in it and a rotating cast of crazy clerks.

i’ve just decided that this post will be a classic clusterf– of photos not that i am capable of anything but at the moment. jetlag. man i’ve done a lot of jet-setting this summer. i’ve been on SIX airplanes in just over a month’s time. it becomes addicting but anyway, that’s something hello kitty would eat up there yes?

on way to airport. super early in the morning. can’t wait to change nail polish colours. brought several with me, didn’t change as i didn’t want to buy more remover. also i don’t think my teeth were adequately brushed once (ew hah) cos i brought a tube that was so empty and flat it made me look like a total cheapskate. but i whitened so my teeth weren’t that bad.

what would you call this shade? i was going with dijon. it is so sexy. the ford gt mustang. at the picnic during my one second of turn to talk when someone important came by i went MY DAD HAS A FORD MUSTANG. then a tumbleweed rolled by, i squeezed sarah’s thigh and we convulsed into laughter then she made fun of me for the rest of the day by cutting me off and saying MY DAD HAS A MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE hahahaha oh my god wait til i get to the part about what we discussed on our nobu final dinner date.

it is my goal to be a model before my face rots off so that i don’t have to talk anymore.

war of the roses. there’s always a bouquet here which means there’s always piles of cat barf too. i used to think cats were smarter than dogs, but, sometimes things happen that make me think twice.

this is me learning. i asked teacher if i looked too much like gallagher (to quote, “the guy who smashes the watermelons.”)(ps. that is NOT comedy) to go out last night, my hair was sticking out more wildly, i SO looked like him. i am funny.

does he even know i exist at all?

team ford blogher canada babes. every time 100% when i met someone and they asked where i was from and i’d say canada they’d proclaim THERE’S A LOT OF CANADIANS HERE! in this funny awed way like they were shocked that our peoples are capable of mass-reproduction and, travel. this happened so many times and all i gave was a deadpan, “yeah.” as i had to reserve as much brain energy as i could for the rest of our conversation which was about me and selling me to them. the majority of blogher babes are mommy blogher babes so i was in the minority, which i am already used to being in cos, well look at me (yes look at me overcoming obstacles like free time and rock&roll lol) i’ve always been the black sheep. so anyway where was i, oh yes, at the nimble stand i said if you want to reach another audience, like me and mine, which is an urban party it girl lifestyle foodelitist, but i balance that with health. i am a spokesmodel for a personal training facility and my demographic is in to keeping fit and looking fit yes, and what’s this you have here, a nimble protein bar for women? lets connect the dots.

he called us all madam, was super helpful, type a perfectionist. quiet. brilliant. look at the guy’s eyes beside me.

while watching the lincoln lawyer on the plane i also kept tabs on the woman beside me watching the justin bieber movie about his hard knock stratford ontario life. kind of want to watch it. while she was watching never let me go i discussed organ donation with her (plot relevant) and cloning. i’ve read the book, adore it, and the movie is great too. i refrained from asking her if the bieber movie was worth it or telling her i was wearing his BABY nail polish at the time haha lest she think i was actually a fan, i also used up too many of my talking turns. just kidding she dug me. unlike the asshole who snapped at me for talking to rose for 3 seconds and obscuring his tv screen. i’ll tell you this story later though. his wife was a pill too. rose said they fought a lot.

party wear. haha i just got up to practise some burlesque and i just learned a new goth move called SMELL THE ROSE AND THROW IT AWAY. it’s good that you’ve been reading and decoding my gibberish for ten years now so you understand me when i say sentences like the former.

ps THIS FRIDAY AUGUST 12 IS MY BURLESQUE PERFORMANCE AT TATTOO ROCK PARLOUR. FREE IF YOU EMAIL AND RSVP. info@pinkmafia.ca

late breakfast i had delivered from ground control (major tom) (seriously it says these cute things on your phone) cos i couldn’t stomach eating that early in the morning. 1. i shouldn’t even have been awake. i slept like a party statue 2. had to get up to get my conference badge 3. i don’t eat breakfast. i am nocturnal and am perma-west coast time consummation-wise. i have to put back a pot of coffee first woah how trailer trash do i sound. sorry, i prefer, poet. speaking of TT i’m going to do a big brother post, we love shelly and how she’s always clearly loaded, sketchy and double dealing.

fit my hair in just before i left and look at my pile of nella bags over there. serious purse collector. i’ve got some major wicked events coming up will use the pink clutch for.

sarah and i make a good duo i’m already copying all of her personality that i can hahaha no kidding. she just helped me come out of my shell a little more. i would never tell her that to her face though. she reminded me of leslie so it was extra enjoyable. i need to get those two in the same room.

at nobu. de niro is part owner/founder. i asked if he was around and they said no he’s in nyc and we’re like how did you know? they get an itinerary to prep for a drop-in. i WOULD DIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!! also i kept forgetting there was a bitch back to my chair and kept sitting super upright, rigid, like a playskool doll. good for the posture.

a drunk chick who came out of the elevator asked sarah if she was european and her drunkard bf goes NO she’s a tourist. it got me steamed but it was her fault cos she was wearing a stupid hat at the time. see my sake bamboo? we made happy hour thankfully that place is $$.

well well well worth it though. it’s japanese peruvian fusion. this is tuna and salmon. i dug the tuna and she liked the salmon.

salt and pepper squid salad. my favourite. considered ordering one more but didn’t. mistook the pepper for a piece of lettuce at one point, went with it. we know i love hot food and this was the hottest dish. i am drooling right now. raymi’s fun foodie fact: every time i think of squid i think of nigella moaning. watched an episode of her cooking it once and as she ate it she did her signature eating moans of pleasure. ok now i am grossing myself out. full spectrum people. this post is almost over don’t worry.

crispy rice cubes.

medicine.

tuna. with jalapenos.

trophy wife practise.

lil bit heavy but i’ll get used to them. bollywood starlets get ear injections to withstand the weight of their huge earrings. good idea.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

wrapping it up this was long winded enough. more trip coverage later.

xo your pal raymi

ahh girl pr0n for days. the thing i regretted most after visiting this store in miami was not buying up all the crazy rings i tried on. big-ass bling rings are hot right now.

i also didn’t stop thinking about these earrings. juicy rip-offs. there was another style like them with pink bows but they dangled backward.

not showing all of the loot cos i got stuff for mom and fairy godmom too.

aaamazing. amazingly stupid but amazing all the same.

this tree ruled. dee was like, a little phallic. ha yeah, how did it get all thick up there and then all thinned out? mystery canadians will never ever know. boo.

ahoy there matey. billions of nella bella clutch compliments.

i always lose weight on vacation. lose weightion. i will refrain from requesting a scale to be sent up like i did in SB at the hotel.

they don’t have airbags in most back seats so this inflatable seatbelt is a brand spankin’ new lifesaver ford is rolling out. donna took a hilarious video of me demonstrating it right after my bongo video. why is playing the bongos so hard?

shit damn this hotel is so clever.

uh that little chick so owned me. she gave me a great lesson though and i actually got better. i asked her mom if i could put her on my blog, also a blogher, and she’s like yeah for sure we exploit her all the time too. NICE! mommy bloggers get it you know? kids are awesome. i just bought my niece a gorgeous charm bracelet i wanted for myself and a necklace in the hard rock store downstairs. i think hmm, if she were my daughter i’d be blowing money all over the place on her, right? right. i love spoiling her. last birthday i went gangbusters, my family was like woah relax there. dad i got you an amazing john lennon t-shirt.

it was nice that we also matched. kids dig me. they see me as captain kangaroo cos i pretty much am hey look at me i just jumped out of a tree, slipped on a banana peel NOW LOOK I’M JUGGLING AND READING YOU A BED TIME STORY LETS EAT KETCHUP CHIPS YAY FUN!

this is when the moment of suck began and then a crowd drew and then it was show time and then i got better. we played with balloons that farted and flew through the air once you pumped them up it was hilarious. growing up is for morons.

get ready to be irritated! these are just quicky highlights i have 400000000 pictures. my favourite part about vacation ahem, i mean, “workation” is the going home and poring through pics, blogging and reminiscing cos that’s when my memory is triggered, which btw, is a pretty good one. the selective bits of it. ford put out a great spread for us. ever grateful. wayne’s world bowing except, SO worthy.

pool i didn’t swim in. wonder if it’s open all night unlike mine. also came all the way to cali and didn’t go to the beach.

mmmmm. v good food on this trip. we were treated like the queens we are.

didn’t want to dent the hood under my weight so i improvised. the rejects of this shoot are, uh, not sexy. i need to work on my car show modelling. apparently this car runs on mushrooms.

dee rules. she went surfing today can’t wait to hear how that went.

go team canada blogher babes!

mouth-to-mouth costs extra.

STRUNG OUT SUNDAY SAN DIEGO EDITION LA JOLLA! (supposed to be like holla!)