Saucy Sundays: my day on set WITH HER

i should try out for game shows. i’m so much better when i don’t talk.

Kris is an amazing director. so calming he talks in this way that immediately makes you relaxed thank god for that. it’s kind of hypnotizing and confusing and before you know it all your clothes are off and that’s a wrap hahah.

I’m talking to leslie here she’s like whaaaat? all stars get blasted for sex scenes where’s the whiskey. i could have gone sobes but then my foot started speed tapping my flip flop and wouldn’t stop hahaha.

The actress arrives. actress slash personal wardrobe stylist, are we good here people?

It was a choice between yuppie shirt only or blazer and bra, or all three. i had to speed change backwards after the scene, and in the scene. the bra is majorly puffed up and the shirt is v tiny on my frame. gerson and i had to jam it in my skirt as fast as could be, most times i wouldn’t bother buttoning, just let the blazer give the appearance of all being put together. in real life a chick on her way out might take better care, but this is make believe right?

I didn’t want sweat on my shirt and felt it necessary to get into character as quickly as could be, become more comfortable, do it hef styles.

Melodie’s robe. that’s it getting my own.

This is when i became wicked nervous. i pretty much maintained a buzz all day yesterday to keep it cool, plus it was suicidal saturday (anything goes day). a shot of vodka would eventually make its way over.

This was shot in the chocolate factory lofts. right around the corner from the security desk. i think he heard me. i think the entire building did. god. i am theatrical.

So I was playing a rich chick. i couldn’t find ONE necklace of mine. not my hello kitty nor my simple silver one from teacher. boo.

Good thing they have the ladder on the turf at the motion room, i was ready for this and cos of that i didn’t wear heels in the scene, i was willing to try but they might have gotten tangled up in the sheets. we had enough trouble maneuvering our legs and arms and doing it gracefully.

It’s also funny to be nervous about doing something i was born to do, and do well. like fake typing on camera, you tap at the keys like a typewriter when merely seconds prior you were expertly clacking away angela lansbury murder she wrote styles. i was going over the past year in my head of being singlish, sloppy one night stands, mini two week refaketionships (i just made that up hahha) and all the ploughing, why am i a baller for that but have the gall to be shy about it for screen? professional minx.

That’s gerson in the blue, awesome. taylor on the right is my hired john. i am too busy to get a dude so i pay for bangs, sure makes sense. we were joking around like crazy to get the heebie jeebies out. worked.

It’s hard to fake sexiness if you wait til the last minute to embody it so carry it with you always ladies. i knew i had to break down a few people in the room first before i could become comfortable, nervous nerd boners maybe hahah.

That’s me doing fitness, glamour fitness. i think we should do a high fashion fitness video cos we all know what aerobics gear looks like and yeah yeah snore i look good in it. we need some next level gimmickry, super delicate expensive chiffon or something that falls apart and disintegrates from doing push ups and sweating profusely all over it.

last minute globbing. i ruined two nails. i never NEVER go anywhere without finishing my nails. if i have one that is damaged i’ll make time to do it, knowing i’d be sitting in makeup i threw it in my purse. late as usual.

that’s gewel, giuliana (everyone on set has weird names/spellings of haha)(there’s emer too, i know right? she’s the cutie in the grey/striped shirt). she’s great, super chill. everyone involved were dreams, hearing them chatter when i was too nervous to speak they made me laugh. my makeup lady was nurturing haha wow i sound like a total baby. i dunno. how nervous would you be?

I was proud of my work. i remember when i thought it acceptable to have gross nails, chipped polish a la c. love, riot grrl, unfem. so stupid. now that i look and dress like a cougar i see rich old dudes rubbernecking me like crazy bananas. i have wasted my life. hahahaa.

on my way out to set i took my american cash out of my wallet, stupid. would have been perfect. looks like we’re canadians in this film now. doh.

the script. i don’t speak. i provide audio of another kind. someone picked up a phonecall they should not have at an integral moment when action was underway. your funeral buddy.



before the last take i started to feel queasy. i had a cupcake anyway and commenced doing burpees to make my abs ripple more. work through the pain.

your turn. going to walk the dog now and will BRB with transfering the rest of the dirties over into html so you can see these images. Guess what! Blogging is ACTUAL WORK who knew?????

prepare for battle. maybe not all of us will make it out alive.


cake face. we didn’t do under my eyes. she said it makes you look tireder. WHAT! all my life! globbing that shit on and on and on and on and on! slkjg;ugsd;ubvd;b;!^&$&%^$%&^$8

get my back spots too please thanks.

one day when i have time i am going back to my dermatologist rip off asshole and show him the result of his waste of time work. unless another one comes forth and sponsors it for a blogvertisement. a plastic surgeon too please for my nose and tits.

ta da.

aw back to ally mcbeal. more like, ally mcFEEL.

i like how taylor kept saying (reassuring himself) aloud how his girlfriend was cool with all this. baha. why are you sweating profusely from your head then dude? (there were hot lights hahaha).

gorgeous bathroom eh.

i sent some of these to leslie and she’s like was there a shower scene too!!? haha.

the girls loved the blazer. i told you i was marge and her chanel jacket now.


so i grab my shoes and clutch, pay and run. even though you were crap i am still obliged to pay you.

emer with one more shot. i only had half this time, gave the rest to taylor.

make room.

killing time with the elephant in the room. lots of baby talk going on. ten dudes sitting quietly in the kitchen, would have loved to be a fly on the wall for their sit-in hearing EVERYTHING over the loft wall.

waiting for the scene to end quietly in my walk of shame.

there’s a version with my bra on too, when we had cut, the girls thought it wise to have a non-R-rated option.

tarek you’re a star too.

my heels. second use of the week.

had a pony temporarily. hair was getting sweaty and matted. ha.

we are the first scene in the movie.

i am sore as hell today.

burpees. i saw on ET after SNL last night, shia does 150 push ups before his transformers chase scenes. i am turning into a real actress now. i even put bronzer on my abs to make the definition pop. did i say that already? they did that to the twilight guy.

i did ten. and this was after 3 takes already. maybe 4.

and the jump. i bet i will still look fat anyway.

hair is getting rattier. which was supposed to be the way, but i am a priss. i tried to leave sweat on my body to compromise. continuity. bah.

post romp regality.

as they clap, and i curtsy. i told you i have great manners. great pedigree. i’m on my way to a polo match now actually.

gahahahah my hair.

and then apparently i made a speech? i dunno, i was drunk and cum dumb.

my escort wouldn’t even hug me.

charting my dash course. i walked into the corner of the bed right off the bat. f-ing black modern furniture. everyone did it. i now have a great thigh welt for south beach.

maybe i should have gotten a smaller bra.

i’m sorry but look at my arms now. kelly ripa!

i hope i didn’t look like a blob on film lying down there after i flop over.

emer you’re the best. (writer/associate producer). you can check out everyone’s credentials on the with her facebook page or imdb. a real movie! i want to be in more!

name in lights

ok now i’m nervous.

eyeless. makeup is going to do me over. i did my own base though.

waiting for nails to dry. colleague en route probably here. ack!

gaha my hair.

the one time a man will be allowed to touch my hair and tussle it.

i totally look like a stingraymi.

ok i will go break a leg now.

ambassador bad ass

raymbo is here.

now let the raymwashing begin.

i likes to keep it black swan. schizophrenic, delusional, beautiful, and graceful.

are you guys ready to get pumped up! jacked and tanned! summer svelte! do you want my turbobabe (teacher’s chick colleague’s refer to it as that) body too? do you want to be an ambassador like me for the motion room and work out FOR FREE!? well, two spots are up for grabs to join and represent a la raymi. you may catch a barenaked lady wandering the halls too.

Did you miss TMR’s wagjag 91% personal training discount? they’ll extend it because I told you to call them but forget that, I have an exclusive just for my readers. TMR is looking for summer Ambassadors so this is your opportunity to do what I do 3 times a week for 1 hour each session.

it will change your look and your attitude (you’ll be swearing much more) and hello, working out with a personal trainer for FREE. Did you catch that? FREE.

deetz: FREE 4 months of training that you EARN. Sign up for the first 4 months…make all established goals (initial assessment is mandatory to determine goals) such as weight loss, stamina and strength increase. Each goal achieved EARNS you credit toward an extra 4 months of training. Do this for you because a balance to life is key…your body doesn’t get fit reading this blog so you won’t be a blob. bahahah. even though oleg says i would never be used like matt damon in an action conspiracy film or for the secret service, maybe you can prove him wrong. he’s trained soldiers and he was a professional wrestler, soccer, doesn’t work out for fun oh man the wisdom coming out of that guy.

pretty tiny now eh? psst. it works.

here i am on a fat day though. see how you have to go everyday, cos it’s a process and you don’t get more fit from NOT working out and moving forward.

every single move you see in the universe you will eventually do it, learn it, apply it to your life or teach it to others.

commitment is key so if you’re now considering this offer make sure you live reasonably close to the Junction or plan to travel, the junction is the new parkdale anyway. you’ll quickly figure out that nutrition is half the equation, when i finally stopped thinking that 3 work outs would erase my over-boozing and eating and started eating better all my work and toning began to shine through.

to qualify as a candidate TMR wants you to journal your experience, hence the “Ambassador” component. if the journal you keep and will publicly share isn’t enough incentive to keep you squared to acheive, I’ll be keeping you accountable directly and checking in on your progress (sporadically) and blogging it. i will even work out with you and scream at you if need be. Interested applicants write here – take the onus, say raymi sent ya. game on.

Candidate Criteria:

Consultation assessment to gauge your current health zone.

Establish goals and measured every six weeks. Scheduling commitment must be at 100% (if you have cottage plans —something can be worked out around that) if you’re sick you have to make it up—the goal is a minimum 3 times a week.

If you can workout during the day 11 to 3 you’ll move up quicker on the selection list. You will be photographed during your workouts (not often) as a visual checkup.

Journaling is on Facebook so best that you’re on there already. If you have your own blog that would be a bonus but not mandatory. ok doke? i am actually waiting to hear about the catch behind this myself, you know, like they forgot to tell me something but nope, no smoke blown up your ass. ask tyler. he said he needs james now. once you get in there and see for yourself you will get it.

i love the euphoria that erases the sadness. it is definitely the emotional room. it brings out people’s emotions. hahaha guess the author of that quote. i used that as my blog title for one of my posts on it, it’s funnier with time.

i like how my posts have brought out the competition in all the dudes i know, they say so to me on email or the PBC has started running, and finishing off with cigarettes. gross.

monika you would be a perfect candidate for this program. they would looove you.

i’ve been pushing this wrong all along. way easier if you push on the weights. they’re like steering wheels. idiot.

i wrote to the running room for some free clothes and shoes. denied. at least they wrote back.

i am strong.

i moved him. not much, but a definite move. my skeleton almost left my body though hahaha.

hooooooly shiiiiiiiiit!

not going to give up.

i am an animal. oleg wasn’t here this day, he doesn’t even know the weapon he has on his hands.

WTF A-HOLE! he was holding a weight too!

i demand a rematch.

i’m surprised those straps didn’t snap off.

what did i do the night before this? i look mangled. andrew said i went through the circuit like 4 or 5 times. during a workout i do it only 3 times, and that’s if i’m not late. it pays to work out with a partner cos you push one another. i full on schooled colleague too. he’s 40 though and way lazier than me.

walter is also an ambassador and takes his work outs serious, more serious when raymi raymbo is around.

that bosu of sand is my nemesis! but its made me have ripa arms. getting closer!

in between stations keep that cardio moving. get the full work out. being lazy is cheating on yourself oleg says.

do a little dance or two. have fun. it IS fun. tyler whistles and sings his head off in between moaning and suffering. the tunes are good and loud and you feel like you’re up in a treehouse cos of the windows at tree level and the green grass, all around great atmosphere. quite fond of this place. snif sniff. totally the emotional room and very much a family. the bonus of that is you get to rip on each other and literally throw one another around wrestle combat drill boot camp style. have any platoon or full metal jacket fantasies? realize them then. it’s f’kn awesome. if you don’t, well then i will always be able to beat you up.

sometimes dan is wicked lazy and stubborn so i have to insult and verbally abuse him into competing with me. i posted these backward, this is the warm up. sprinting.

i’m an agile lil thing i love to dodge things. things with foul attitudes and pink shirts and red sports cars hahaha.

i lapped his ass. at least he was on time though. tsk tsk walter. i am going to have to take them aside to the kidz360 and seal the doors for five minutes of uninterrupted take it to the grave stone cold torture and raymwashing. one part de niro, one part james cappellano and 5000 volts raymiac. yes. i’d be scared too.

see ya on the astroturf.

xo your pal raymi

fake to make/retaliate

ok so where were we. this guy’s pants were my highlight, i said as we left and this last crowd of debbies on the yuppie patio finally had drunk courage to talk to us, they said they thought casie was lady gaga (yes because every platinum girl looks like gaga) which was totally the perfect thing to say. i came over to white pants and spoke through a tropical plant to him about his pants, he loved my outfit bla bla etc said we were in a fashion show around the corner, casie said i was one of the models and they all said we can TELL. so with my newly inflated ego hot air balloon ballet ponytailed head, i floated us on home.

i look pretty tired. i was. this jacket matches my new vic secret pink lace number. maybe i’ll slip it into the film. my scene shoots in four hours. going to try to show at the vanity party first. we’ll see i have lots of blogging and laundry and hangover to do. saturday is my much needed day off. as if that ever happens.

quite the patio hit casie and i. impossible to lay your eyes off of. yesterday at lunch we created major masterpiece theatre didn’t we.

this was very fun. and nerve-wracking. i killed it. youtube is telling me i can get revenue sharing from my runway video. i have like 30 videos now i can do that with, is it worth it? lemme know please.

last minute bathroom break. i went a billion times. this was at the design exchange and we weren’t supposed to be in this part because an installation was being set up, a hipster nerd bunhead with glasses told us off while we were lining up for a runway walk through and farhaad was like EXCUSE ME!? like don’t talk to my girls that way i loved it. great diva clash moment. that’s val toronto gal and urban native girl. dope chicks.

mucking around backstage with nick one of our cameraguys was pretty fun, it got boring at points so then we’d gossip dance around practise our walks, give each other tips and psyched each other into it make some magic and play with the camera. he said watching casie and i was very fun, we need our own show. billionth time mention.

this is when i started crying. exhaustion and passive aggressive bullshit got to me once i read a tweet from my mom it felt honestly like the first time someone was nice to me all fucking day. ya. people think i am a monster (you are the monsters!) and then they meet me and see how pathetic i truly am then they’re like oh, no biggie, but then there are the ones who stand by their decision to hate me and the sweet only comes out when you go phoney baloney on them. i find when i am real, i get trashed on. when i play the game, we all can “get along” it’s disgusting. casie yesterday was like people hate you SO MUCH i have no idea how YOU are doing it. so this leads me to believe there is a mega (hopefully) gossip pool i am missing out on major. teacher said people hate you because they see the undeniable greatness and the something they aren’t doing, i dunno, i am just tired of it is all. ok boring moving on.

my shorts were under scrutiny. guess what, you say you can’t wear these shorts, well i can, and you aren’t me, it’s a fucking fashion show you fascist. bahaha. when i first walked through the adjacent room to the loo everyone was SILENCED by my legs and as i was just about out of earshot i hear stacey mckenzie whisper yes those ARE small shorts. awe.

those are legitimate dancing shoes sent from hollywood from an admirer. i am doing a striptease burlesque performance (so far solo) on july 11 at the grindhouse. it will be my first in ages. i am rejecting fear from here on out i have life by the balls again, which is what one person said when i became a harlette. i don’t have my routine prepared but i am dancing under my blog name RAYMI THE MINX and i will personify exactly that. with tail. if there’s a girl or two who want to be apart of this lemme know it’s for an online clothing store launch party, small stage, good exposure. i’m using it as an opportunity to practise my craft. i want to be a professional celebrity dancer (and barbie and a spaceman and a stegosaurus) and get invited to dita von teese’s house for scones.

here i am meeting my bag. it matched that dress.

on my way there i am like what the hell am i getting myself into? i was kind of flipping out. teacher is very calming and patient and kind of balances me out perfectly. i don’t get to enjoy anything that i do because i am so stressed out all the time. it fucking sucks. i am a raincloud on a parade.

see how wary i am. cool life idiot!

this is so jazz dance and so not fashion. cassi made a little rose brooch out of a zipper and a matching headband also out of a zipper while killing time nervously that day in class. i am wearing the brooch here.

going zen.

i look like an insect. perfect!

casie’s stink eye busted!

ok enough self indulgence.

work to do!


hmm where to begin. welp. first off, i failed my blog today but i crossed many items off my to do list and am way less overwhelmed than i was this morning when i woke up so that’s good. i figure anything else i run out of time to do, i just can’t do, or will do when i can. teacher is letting me take his laptop to south beach so that took huge pressure off my shoulders. my mom doesn’t know how to use a mac too so that is also awesome. blaha.

we watched the other woman last night post nap. it is a horrible film. it was perfect for my cucko-mungo mood. not one likeable character. i wanted romantic, a dramedy. tweeting it just as we ordered it off netflix everyone’s like prepare to be depressed. shoulda listened. dead baby? cool set up! natalie portman is wicked frosty bitchy deadpan. lisa kudrow was bizarro world phoebe. the kids, ugh i don’t even want to waste my breath. look, i like kid, love them, but not lactose intolerant brainiac high maintenance fictional ones when i’m trying to couch surf in and out of semi-consciousness. afterward we watched the adjustment bureau woah i would so prefer to talk about that one instead what am i doing?

it was essentially bourne identity and the matrix, which was fine but then they got lazy and fell by the religion wayside. i haven’t blogged in so long it feels, i’m not sure how to do it anymore. it’s been a nutzo week. yesterday, that alleged nap i took (flew by so fast not sure it even happened) was the first downtime i’ve had in like 5 weeks i dunno clearly i am spent. i’m not the only one, all my other unconventionally employed pals seem to be pushed to their limits too. i’ll show you a candle in the wind, elton. i was working on that joke in my head before i passed out yesterday. i’ll get back to you on that other half when i’m making sand castles in miami on monday morning. ahhhh.

i haven’t even had time to look forward to it yet either isn’t that terrible? oh boo hoo poor me oh shut up. i’m broke as fuck right now and i cannot afford time away blablabbity blah only live once everything will be ok KABOOM.

i love how brennen is positively obsessed with blowing my hair out to kelly bundy stature. glad he gave me a trim.

not sure of the show they were shooting i forgot to listen to the answer when i asked a dude cos i didn’t want to get stuck talking to some slob plus my eyes were raining black mascara i had just applied down my face (finally bought allergy visine today) and colleague was on his way to get me for the seafood party, road was closed off intermittently between takes (car chase scene) and adelaide is one way east ok i am getting off blog story course now who cares. teacher and i are hanging out and having friday night beers so this post will reveal itself accordingly.

i turned some heads.

brennen is going to calgary for a week and i just so happened to be dressed appropriately for that. the weather and sky became ominous at this point, it wasn’t lost on me how dorothy gale my dress was. i am surprised i can remember anything at all right now to be honest haha.

burger king drive thru update: lots of people are into whoppers right now.

it’s killing me how many hilarious wipe out scenes i can spot on the splashpad in this photo. total obstacle course. ok go get a po’boy, a glass of shiraz, some bufala and seared scallops without tripping once or spilling anything.

i love me a good mist. before they made the movie from stephen king’s book (alternate ending from book) i used to tell that as one of my scary stories on long car rides or in bed during ghost story scare the shit out of each other time. i also like the raft.

does it feel like you are reading a blog from 1999? well you kind of are hahah but GOOD. fuck it all until i get a good camera. all my gadgets are crap. we are falling apart here people. what value is art to you people? what would you do if young and the restless went off the air? canceled. final season. DONE. i know casie is deeply emotionally invested in that soap. how is this blog any different. you’ve been with me since i was 17. the show is over. raymi takes a bow. what if you couldn’t make fun of me anymore? i know i feel bad and confused when blogs i’ve read in the past bit the dust. i’m considering all kinds of crazy shit like, a real job. stupidity i know like i have any employable skills. haha.

ahh back to fantasyland. thank you hello kitty. you are prozac for my eyes.

look how skinny i am here but from this exceptionally unflattering angle i have bloated party face. i look like the elephant man. ha i wish. we were late and missed tony at boom. it was my genius idea to go to the st. clair location because i thought it would be fabulous to do a patio spread, but no, the wizard of oz has been touring toronto in form of kansas shit show so we sat inside instead. i will blog our date with the teacher and colleague from south beach, i will probably be drunk and sun-stroked and mellow at the time. i hope i don’t get fat. i plan to run on the beach. must remember to bring shoes for that. if there’s a gym i’m going to give mom and lois a workout lesson so we don’t come back as beasts. this trip was lois’ brainchild love her so much for this.

somehow i got hung as hell from the seafood party. i didn’t eat all day (nude scene necessary don’t judge) i guess that was it and the quick wine and base race at that event, guessing the base did not win this round and i am not invincible from hangovers like i sometimes think i am it’s funny i am always shocked and amazed to find myself hungover. HOW DARE THEY! who did this to me?! GET THEM!

not bad, not bad white, kinda pulling it together. don’t forget to check out boom’s site i linked up there, its been done over. very fresh. my blog is jealous.

last day of the minx nails (the last minx was the story i wrote when i invented raymi). i tore them all off at lunch today. it was an intense lunch. i am glad i had my nails shielded from biting them all week, when these decals come off your nails are totally fresh and ready for a painting. i want long sexy nails for my scene tomorrow. the peach polish i bought looks great but the scent is making me pukey. i complained about it on twitter already, scented nail polish, why??

i think that shirt came from steph. it’s perfect, she is a teeny weeny and i wear extra small shirts cos i am simon cowell if i am feeling the slightest bit cocky (skinny) it’s EXTRA SMALL EVERYTHING DAY.

the burger was great. i had half n half salad/sweet potato fries. a bite of colleague’s pancake (sounds dirty) and some of teacher’s omelette. when we went home ordered friendly thai after our nap which we will never order again as it was the most retarded thai food that i have ever eaten, also, it blew. oranges everywhere what? weak spice, confusingly bland glass noodles i dunno what was going on, all to the mastergarbagepiece theatre of THE OTHER WOMAN. i’ve been on a horrible flick pic spree. remind me to shit on sofia coppola’s SOMEWHERE will ya please.

ok here we are up to date with today now. at eaton centre buying lingerie for my doin’ it scene tomorrow. we’ll see how the scene goes i’m told i don’t “have to” but yeah. i am pleased with my lingerie, the first set i tried on, of two things. i am smaller in the butt than i think too so that’s wicked.

i was kind of a slob with post gym hair, went straight to my lunch meeting date with monika and andrew and casie. dirtbag princess tip if you’re a bohemian sloth but you want to look effortless and you have no time, get a black loosey goosey wrinkle free jumper and an easy breezy attitude, no one will notice you have endangered birds taking up residence in your hair through your beaming face.

i am loving my nella bella purse i get so many compliments. it’s the ultimate wow clutch. i wonder if my mom is going to use her half of the london bag. i wonder on what day we will strangle one another. mom bring your camera cord.

i asked teacher if it would bother him more to be present or to not be present for my scene tomorrow. he said he doesn’t want to be around for it, makes more sense right? colleague will be there taking photos though, weird? i don’t even know what’s not weird anymore. i just hope i look thin. hahaa. can we film this myspace style?

i’m like can you get me a bra that doesn’t make me look like a liar? nope? ok then. total push up bra all of them are loaded with water and foam. who cares now i know how all the bitches i know got their boyfriends now husbands, and here i’ve been coasting on personality all this time. chicks who spend money on good bras and lingerie are sneaky little tarts eh? all conservative and prissy in the real world, yeah, i’m on to you.

ok so see what it does to my tits, like, where did that come from? i’m all tiny up there in the torso and it makes my ab def pop out cos you are forced to stand in such a way that just makes you look, good? or it’s a skinny mirror or i look like this, i dunno, i showed the photo to some of the girls (yeah i make fans along the way) and they’re like no, they’re not skinny mirrors. who knows maybe that’s victoria’s secret after all. shit i write the best copy. cheers.

see mom look i went to the bank i got my travel health insurance and money exchanged. it’s pretty much on par still.

what is this a museum?

oh you guys. monika was inspired by all my motion rooming she lost 20 pounds! can i say that? too late. i think that’s incredible. she looks amazing, i didn’t know what was different but in between talking about myself and our (my and casie’s) drama i stopped and was like dude you look fucking good, vancouver was good to you and she said actually, your work outs shamed me into getting up off my ass and doing something. i am getting misty eyed now. so proud of and for her. i’m doing a work out feature post tomorrow so i’ll talk about all this tomorrow. i just got an idea! yes! ideas. i get them too!

this was a solid lunch and even though i am all used up of time i am so glad i kept the date. you know when you get into a bailing mood? but anyway, gave me a lot to think about while i do sand angels.

marben has great food. i knew a chef who worked there. wonder if they fired him or he left or whatever. used to hook me upppp. anyway. that was pretty trainwrecky. i have another pile of photos i uploaded i’ll start up a separate post for. i have this tick that won’t go away unless i am up to date with my blog scrapbooking. it’s horrible. it’s annoying that i am going to have to be the one who founds a blogging anonymous support group someday. i can’t quit you blog.

writer’s blogck

seafood? i see food i eat it

hiya pals. last night found me where i rightfully belong: at the zoo, eating like a pig queen. as it was the annual Seafood for Thought sumptuous sustainable seafood event, read: fancy food, lots of wine and beer, fat cats, foodielite industry, famous chefs, and all the chic cuisine from your favoured and renowned toronto restos.

i was playing for team Cheese Boutique. like last year except this year they housed it on the splashpad, so novel. they learned from the soggy marsh mud slop of last year on the grass (it rained earlier in the day), good on them especially on a day with ominous weather, as such graced toronto last night.

i love your food SO MUCH! haha that’s trista of crush wine bar. we are homies. you saw me there not too long ago for a wine auction. ballin’ place. they must have me to lunch. blaha like i say things like “they must have me”. i like blogging because you get to be schizophrenic.

it was a great hug. not a fan of the wimpy hugs, you can read a person’s soul by how they hug, learn everything about them and their intentions. it’s true. i “know” things. specifically the primal thing you will learn is if this person is phoney or hates you. v important shit to know.

i love me an awkward set-up shot.

so many comedians out there. that little lady rules. hi. we see you. ruling!

i like the chefs that get in your face, doin’ their thing. they see you playing with their plates, hovering, they hone right on in and the car salesman comes out. it is like a dance.

jason, LUMA, expertly snatched the salmon i was about to go in for because its plate had a fuschia edible flower petal on it, he said it wasn’t ready (so was, so perfect) and then he fiddled with it. i found it endearing. then we did the talk, the who are you, oh who am I? it’s funny the chefs that take to you and the ones that don’t. they are in their element and peak performance. buzz is in the air and palpable energy. i pay way too much attention.

albert of le select bistro. we will meet again. we will eat again. where’s waldo?

i assumed (wrong) that my colleague would photograph the names of all the things i ate once the first time around that i requested it but i guess you cannot teach OLD dogs new tricks and as usual i am surrounded by idiots. anyway the point is i can’t remember what this was and i am trying to lay blame. i am too busy flirting here to take notes. see my flirting skills? talking with my mouth full, sandwiched by an obnoxious statement and a vanna white smile wheel of fortune wave goodbye. this kid goin’ places.

ed’s ceviche from globe/earth bistro. i’ve featured his restaurant before.

it’s on the danforth you should check it out it’s like a where the wild things are magical fantasyworld. i am making the awesome face above because a dirty double entendre was made and neither of us were man enough to push it further but both knew precisely what was up. hahaha. not to be scrutinizingly incredible or anything but how neat is it that my thumb nail matches the ceviche on my plate? and can someone explain to me the science behind how citrus juice cooks raw fish.

scallops urrywhere. you eat these like oysters. when i went over to the stingrays i said HEY i just ate some of your friends! pet pet!

ok lets do this.

down the hatch.

tutti matti maven, chef alida solomon was a moment when i knew (for once) the right thing to say. hi i’m a blogger. doesn’t give a – so i say, but i’m an OLDSCHOOL blogger. i said i knew you guys don’t need us (they don’t) but if you did, i’m the one. so we shit talked social media for a little bit until i won her over. i am like an oldschool chef. however, industry dinosaurs out there, your messenger conduit (that is i) will give you this one free consult courtesy and once only: you must adapt along with society. not expect it to adapt to you. that goes for everything in life. we saw an old man walking on the highway yesterday and i knew it was because he was cellphoneless and his car broke down. burn. total croney and it looked so dangerous. mom can you make nana and papa get a cellphone?

sea theme flowers.

look there is something worthy of pointing at! i am probably saying can you take my picture straddling the walrus before we go? i am not meeting any more chefs unless you agree.

haha nope it was the moment i spotted lucas. that guy is my brother so i knew within a half sec he was gong-showed.

this is us communicating. i am like, WTF are YOU doing here? accusatory facial expression (this also happened at the grid launch party).

i have the power to terrify people into thinking they are in trouble and here comes the punishment. the guy beside lucas is saurav someone i’ve known since i was 16!

then we meet in the middle so i can hiss whisper some more unnecessary chastising expletives, i am like his second wife i guess slash sister. it was just a really funny moment to see him all tom hanks in BIG at this event, on MY turf like he materialized a la star trek. i could tell he was having a good time and i liked that.

oh, but, i didn’t even want to talk to lucas, i wanted to talk to saurav instead. this is a picture of your ass gettin’ nexted.

doesn’t it look like every single person is watching my soap opera? or it would if you could see anything, no time to colour correct lighting.

when you meet old friends again they are messengers of time’s passing. feels like just yesterday and all that. good to reconnect. he thought i wouldn’t recognize him. i never forget a face.


there’s my other buddy lora from ruby watch co and delicious tuna melts holy crap i am starving all over again.

team ruby are sweethearts i really admire them.

one of my favourite things i consumed and it was getting near the end too. get one while you can.

you’re doing it wrong. but, wearing a picnic table cloth to an eating event sure was right.

see what the weather did to my hair? i also got a cut, brennen blended my cowlick into a slight layer and gave me a trim.

black cod? i wonder how high my mercury levels are today.

here’s the moment my star f*cker cards come out, it’s me and a top chef, andrea nicholson-jack. we jived big time.

she dug my tat. i talk blocked her.

i wandered and roved the splashpad from stall to stall mooching as much as i wished.

i stalked where’s waldo, whom i fixated upon and recognized from last year. same get-up too. he let me take his photo then as well. such an eccentric! i love party stand out weirdos.

i was too shy this year though. i wore boots cos i didn’t want to be standing in soppy mary jane wedges but they were smarter this time around. it was cool to be walking with a glass of wine into willy wonka-esque raised waves and peaks no wonder lucas was trashed, such a scene. wild wild wild. good call you guys. i hope it’s in the desert area next year. very african outback, it would feel like a vacation and you can see elephants.

i got the dregs of the wine stations, i didn’t think i drank all that much but i am hung right now so i guess i did? didn’t eat all day so maybe it was that too. i am coasting on steam and cuckoo fumes if i am lucky i will have a heart attack.

holy colour cohesion! again with the minx nails.

i didn’t understand what i was doing with this dip until about halfway. it’s not soup. i was trying to drink it. no wonder they were staring.

stop whining.

i liked these chicks we had a nice gabfest. they were overseeing this station and 1000% contributed to my hangover. loved my dress too. you meet so many people they can’t remember if you met already or how you know one another (if i’ve been by resto) i say we’re associated via Cheese Boutique, they nod then get it and i add yeah we are all sleeping together. not as awkwardly as it comes across in the written form i swear.

watch it there.

this party was awesome by the way. lucas said so too. he wouldn’t shut up about it in fact and i didn’t even ask or care what he thought ahahaha.

i see cb merch everywhere.

very determined. i didn’t have any chocolate fountain this year. watchin’ my figs.


lets hit the stingrays.

but pretend to listen to this speech first. hey guy, i am featuring the party. you also don’t want to know the politics behind it.

you have to check your drink at the door (of the stingray exhibit) but i went all nightclub nervous and pounded it instead. no i didn’t, we had a chat first.

show time. i go, are they ready for me? i love f-ing with people. the boys go YEAH! it’s funny because stringrays are stupid and don’t know anything so how could they possibly be ready right? i am a joke explainer now that is my new thing. merkley would understand. or arran.

i knew i was going to want to tweet brag a live photo but it would be difficult with wet hands and a purse so i stuffed my blackberry in my bosom.

more flash all the time. like today you know where. i am tired of my moonbeams. i look like the witch from sailor moon or something.

oh i just remembered i did get one criticism from stacey mckenzie afterall: dead eyes. bahaha. i did that when i was walk nervous. this is a mid-blink ghost example.

see how the camera adds 25 pounds? crash diet!

the barbs have been removed. we discussed steve irwin. i was like, of all the animals to die by, a stingray? didn’t see THAT coming. she said if he was pierced anywhere but his heart he would have survived. that’s true he was attacked by all kinds of animals and poisonous snakes. rip budday. also ryan dunn too :(

baby hammerhead. it’ll grow to four feet. and that is when i crapped my pants. haha kidding.

there was a part of the pool where they all rushed through, a throughway, passageway and your hands were unavoidable. it became like a game. it was pretty cool.

holy shit look how close to the stingray tail my hand is GAH!!

last year there was way more splashing going on. they do that when you spook them and try to pet their triangle sides, fins, flaps whatever they’re aliens to me and belong at sigourney weaver’s house. or womb.

cool moisture humidity in the air toronto thanks.

we were party debbies, last to leave. paris hilton faux paus. haha like she has faux paus! what is the plural for paus?

that polar bear was begging for it.

i was waiting for everyone to clear out to get my moments with the north pole pals.

classy people coming through make way.

but we’ve only just met, i don’t typically kiss in the first second.

holy in lust much ew gross, me.

my vision was stare down then run away. it didn’t exactly come out as hoped.

then my neck got very cold. it was the north pole afterall.

can you see the part behind me where the white line comes into the blue? that’s a shelf/dip in the pad. try navigating that in boots and wine. people were tripping all over the place it was pretty funny. noel would have loved it. i am in mega pain from my work out right now so i am swearing all over the place i apologize. the russian nightmare is trying to do stockholm syndrome on me and transplant me into the kgb. ps. that is a joke i don’t know if shit like that is kosher online when clearly i am an idiot and full of baloney but now i am picturing self fulfilling prophecies and V for Vendetta and Salt. thank you hollywood.

no, john, i am the walrus.

finally an accurately skinny photo. this dress makes you look preggers, thought the shop keeper was at first then i looked at it more and saw she was skinny so be careful how you pose and stand.

hi thanks and one for my colleague and boyfriend, and colleague goes i’m not her colleague so he got one too hahaha.

throw on the teeth and see what happens, this is it all going down.

when we walked in with bags of bread these guys say who are you feeding? i said, the geese. i am witty. i saw geese covertly wandering all over on our way in, obvious probable nuisance and top enemy supreme of security, nemesis to the core. they paused then got it as i ruby gingham skipped on through smiling over my shoulder. is it mean to break hearts every 3 seconds?

speaking of nemesi, here comes one now. mine. from last year.

mexican stand off time.

she won. hands down. owned it.

haha lucas. see how scared i am.

it’s cos i don’t trust myself. i envision picking her up for a squeeze. there are various and obvious ways in which that plays out.

but now i know peacock feathers contrast gorgeously with red gingham. thanks! well i already knew that, had a gingham shirt and peacock necklace pairing going strong for awhile there. how insensitive and unethical is this post despite the food event cause is sustainable food. (not dragging massive nets through oceans destroying habitats).

satisfied partiers. the ride home was hilarious. full of conspiracy theories and s-talk.