http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5617088945/in/photostream

new fun feature (when i feel like it).

eating the city looks like this.

i am pumped to watch survivor tonight. i haven’t seen it in, years? i don’t care how far deep into the season they are, i cannot wait for my favourite escapist show ever. why is it on wednesdays now though? ok i didn’t mean to start blogging (writing) talking here (sometimes my fingers don’t listen) i just downloaded my nunu pictures and thought you might like to see me with hot chicken sauce all over my face. no problem.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614384768/in/photostream/

oh hi there toronto, how’s your news today?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614384972/in/photostream/

peep my lil skull head that impressively hasn’t been nicked after all these years.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614384574/in/photostream/

too small to notice it. now watch it’ll get thiefed.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613805455/in/photostream/

bit rusty. the bikes on wheels boys will sort me out hopefully. new location on queen street couldn’t be more central. beautiful bikes in there too. 779 queen street w. check it though, you can pre-buy a spring tune-up service for 33% off right now via Live Better Local, (the brainchilds behind my raymi cruise of the city yesterday) they’re like a co-operative of independent businesses, LOCAL SHIT (my favourite) that you go to all the time anyway. i love these guys because now finally there’s a place online that will show me all my regular haunts across the city who’ve joined LBL‘s business directory (for free, you can do it too if you like and don’t have a website for your business).

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614385302/in/photostream/

for me personally, i like a site like LBL cos it encourages these businesses to get online. do you know how many businesses i visit in a day and then try to get on board with the internet (everybody wins if we’re all on the internet) and they are just like straight not in to it, it makes my job so much tougher when businesses have internet phobias, pushing boulders uphill, to explain to such and such vendor that by giving me a discount or something for free, it will pay off for them because i am a walking billboard for absolutely everything i come into contact with. why do i care? because i am a consumer and i am constantly buying shit, doing things, needing stuff, you know, plus i am a cheapskate and i always try to see how i can get things for free or at least very cheaply which is where the internet comes in and if these people are already familiar with that then the selling myself speech gets to be shorter.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614385668/in/photostream/

it’s just a little frustrating and like going back in time, all the time, some times and then i’m like screw it i’ll just pay full price and be bitter about it because i know the effectiveness of my influence but not only that it’s a guaranteed promo if the thing makes it to my blog whether it is intentional or not, i just did pepsi (for ex.) a solid of 10k eyeballs by mistake you get what i’m saying? eventually i will have my sales pitch strategy down pat. i realized yesterday that i am going to be a bloody salesman til the day i die. i think i lost ten years off my life from that realization.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613806355/in/photostream/

and so the beautiful thing that LBL has done for us is they’ve approached about 200 businesses (and growing) thus far and got them on board to their business directory, and the more that increases, the better it will be. will be. heh. kay sara, sara and such right. any business can run a deal whenever they want, they don’t have to wait for their turn, they can just keep pumping them out and ask lbl to feature it, no problem. they don’t even have to run any deals they can just update their vendor page with photos or NEWS, articles, press mentions the sky is the limit. no catch either. lbl can come by and take photos of your shop too and you can use them on your own little platform in the marketplace, kind of like a hybrid of a facebook/blog/website and you won’t have to deal with, i dunno, making your own damn website. it’s like, you are an idiot if you don’t join because all the other indie businesses in your hood are on it and when a particular neighbourhood is featured well, do you like making money or not? do you want to be included? i’m going to do a raymi video of me biking from my home across the city on a day in the life of raymi and along my journey i will visit some places, now, what is “some places” exactly? pretty vague but essentially any place that would want me to visit and therefore not only be included in the video broadcast on my blog but, NOT blurred out, not specifically omitted. more on that later. so much work to be done. you can email me by RAYMI at RAYMITHEMINX dot com fyi.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613806545/in/photostream/

love these. guess which colour i liked the most.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614386426/in/photostream/

getting warmer.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614386614/in/photostream/

i like that bike culture has its own style of dress if you want to be in with the gear heads. what are bike enthusiasts called? anywhoo i’ll be back to pick up my bike after a snack or two. now, where shall we have lunch?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614386790/in/photostream/

Leslieville Cheese Market right in the heart of queen street, beside java. this was my first time in here, pass it all the time. i love discovering new places. hi michael! yes i look stupid you’re welcome for posting this.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613807341/in/photostream/

mmmm. these dudes are friends with cheese boutique too. all the meats and cheese people are, well, some are, the ones who aren’t competing. ok i’ll shut up now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614387524/in/photostream/

so many things to sample while you wait. you bet your ass i got my sample on. they’re so nice in there.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614387690/in/photostream/

by the time i left michelle had already tweeted to me. i like when biz’s are on twitter. i am giving up on trying to explain to others the benefits of it, you’re either playing the social media game or you aren’t. see like i’m leaving now but i’ll tweet while present, that one extra piece to my internet story puzzle would be tweeting specifically @ your business and pointing everyone there, but if you resist the almighty twitter then no tweet love, comprende?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613808303/in/photostream/

i built up an appetite from biking over.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613808481/in/photostream/

that’s michelle, hi michelle! thanks for the cheese samples (i don’t remember the names of anything). cool shirt, could this post be more canadiana? ha and then i dropped in on the debate and high-fived jack layton. well by the time he returned the fiver i was already coolly slicking back my hair, deeked the guy right out.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613808689/in/photostream/

michael is preparing my grilled cheeses back there. i got the tuna melt (MMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and something else. you can purchase a 36% discount thinger right now for some grilled cheese sandwiches how cute is that? sometimes it’s the little things right?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613808935/in/photostream/

see how i am clearly the highlight of michelle’s day? is that sad? haha kidding.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613809299/in/photostream/

no worries though this was totally one of my highlights of yesterday for sure.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614389280/in/photostream/

ok foodie pr0no time.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614389432/in/photostream/

oh hi me.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613809999/in/photostream/

when the apocalypse comes i know where i am raiding, place is stocked. best bunker ever.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614389812/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614389984/in/photostream/

gluten free. yay!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614390156/in/photostream/

the place was busy. people love their food.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614390360/in/photostream/

it looks like this from the outside in case you are a neurotic. some people require all the visuals they can get, that’s why google invented street view on maps, because people are idiots i guess.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614390574/in/photostream/

i just love the whimsy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614390796/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613811327/in/photostream/

!!!!!!!!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613811537/in/photostream/

it was imperative i photograph one on its own. you put it upside down for ten minutes on a plate with the lid off i think (i sped-read the label and sometimes i just make up my own words i think it’s called hallucinatory selective retainment)(i just made that up but it’s SO a thing though). i LOVE the graham crust. i can’t wait to be a happy fatty one day.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614391336/in/photostream/

everywhere you look there’s something delicious you want.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613811925/in/photostream/

michael brought out these lovely little gluten free sandwiches. so they do the best grilled cheese and they cater to hippies with diet restrictions, do they go ahead and eat the food for you too and tuck you in at night? pretty much. man, today’s consumer is oh so spoiled. standards are high. know your market right? i should teach business someday. at the teacher’s last night i regurgitated all that i had learned and done yesterday and he was very impressed, sees how hard i actually work and how mentally insane it makes me. he said not to teach it though (funny coming from a teacher, no?) just to do it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614391696/in/photostream/

these have pesto mmmmm. garlic is my weakness. i have many.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614391860/in/photostream/

when i meet new people if they look familiar to me i always comment on that. i swear i’ve seen you before. it’s possible. i live in a city, i go to things often, so do others. anyway no i have not met michael before but he is one of those people who you are instantly keen on, nice guy, endearing and very into his food. you’ll enjoy yourself in there, good atmosphere, the only annoying people are the other customers haha. people can get psycho when they’re hungry eh.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613812489/in/photostream/

and then some confusing happening is, happening, a blond and cameras, mugging and gorging and meanwhile all you wanted was a sandwich.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614392206/in/photostream/

i had to train my new cameramen who had to make do with the lack of lcd on my camera. i get impatient and strangers staring and scrutinizing me while i game show pose, fuck, i don’t think everybody could do what i do everyday. don’t think, act.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613812869/in/photostream/

i have a few posing 101 things i do, my go-to’s. you have to wince through them when you are being eyeballed all around you. i remember seeing sass just bravely posing and ignoring everyone else and have adopted that too. there is nothing better than outright ignoring slit eyes and then just showing more and more teeth at the camera. guess what lady, i am WORKING here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614392582/in/photostream/

how smug would you be waiting in line with your discount voucher and presenting it like willy wonka’s golden ticket. there is something special about gift cards or coupons, certificates. i feel like you have to loudly as hell clear your throat, ahem a lot and only then can you produce your exclusive little secret club papers. the curiosity of surrounding customers floors me too. it’s these little thrills that get us through life, i am a firm believer of this. oh, what am i doing over here, that’s right unlike you, i am not paying full price for my grilled cheese sandwiches. mmhmm.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614392762/in/photostream/

i love to collect new places too. i’d never think to go here if not for the internet despite passing it many many many times. i think that’s a win for the internet. so you can be a snotty stubborn real life only business type and be happy with the bare minimum clientele you’ve presently got, or, you can take on the new generation of consumers who are happy to make purchases online and are already familiar and comfortable doing that. you need to adapt to (along with) society NOT expect for it to adapt to you, that’s the way of the world old mister typewriter guy or film photography codger.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614393002/in/photostream/

the moment of truth.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614393232/in/photostream/

he cut these up thankfully so we could share with two crabby impatient customers. no time was being eaten up by us at all we were simply in line like everybody else only taking photos while waiting. it bothers me when i see anger in people’s faces annoyance, like, you live in a city, can’t take it? move then. what i am doing over here has nothing to do with you, maybe only in the sense that i am trying to help your beloved sandwich monger’s out here so that they can stay in business so you have somewhere to stand in line frowning at lunchtime.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613813913/in/photostream/

i’m a psycho like that. i cannot let things go. i think that everyone’s rage is my fault, always. i have an apology compulsion too. i sense people’s irritations before they happen. if i am with someone who is a loud talker i cringe billions of times inwardly because i feel like they are annoying everyone around us, even out in a park, which of course is also my fault because we are taking pictures? i am too nervous for this world ha ha.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614393750/in/photostream/

i LOVED these sandwiches. be sure to try the tuna melt i have never had such a delicious tuna melt before, it’s like it was pulled pork, so thick and tender. exquisite. there’s a word i seldom use. it’s totally the one though.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613814491/in/photostream/

the crabby couple was watching this and making snarky faces. raymi, let it go. let it go. i can’t i can’t! one of these days i am just going to cause the most magnificent of scenes, ten years of suppressed (ha hardly suppressed) rage will come out on some little biddy in the annex. i just know it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614394064/in/photostream/

this is me and my ADD at its finest. semi-listening, trying trying, failing, eating. pretty much what every foodie post i’ve ever done goes like and then foodie geeks get mad. food “reviewers” will be a post for another day though. i think i might be the solution for some restaurant proprietors out there, the ones willing to just shut up and listen because at the end of the day, ONE bad review from some witch can haunt you on google for years and years and years if you don’t watch it. another thing i’ve learned which is a bit of a catch 22, those who fear the internet most are the ones who cannot let go of a bad review it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy, we don’t want to touch the internet and NOW look what’s happened see i told you so they’re saying things about us on the internet so FUCK the internet. it doesn’t have to be that way and it can be avoided and if it happens to you there’s always damage control for the aftermath. i am an expert on bad press unfortunately.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614394280/in/photostream/

yay it’s bike time. i was looking forward to blasting home listening to fleet foxes it’s like winter was never here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613815077/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614394592/in/photostream/

there’s the one. what do you mean i can’t join your bike gang? pfft. everyone knows clubs are for nerds anyway ‘cept for the parkdale boys club though.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613815405/in/photostream/

picking up my baby.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613815765/in/photostream/

but lets pose with some stuff first just in case it’s not ready.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613816013/in/photostream/

one day i’ll get me a new one. not necessary though as i have two bikes. i’m bringing one to my dad’s so i can bike around burnoutington and really mess with people’s minds, i don’t think anyone rides a vintage peewee herman bike out there. i think i could bike to emma’s back porch from my dad’s, easily. lock my bike up, then get dropped off the next day to bike back with it. there’s no way i’d drunk bike ride home in burlington i’d for sure get run over and my dad would sit white knuckled waiting for me to get home. hi i am 5 years old still apparently.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614395762/in/photostream/

toronto is a huge bike fetish city. love that.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614395926/in/photostream/

moment of truth. alex hooked me up nice and good. my gear is still screwed though cos i snapped a wire and it’s a 70’s bike, this location is new so they of course wouldn’t have that specific obscure (obsolete) part whatever it was. kathleen can you get me that part?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614396130/in/photostream/

looks way cleaner and some of the winter rust is gone. the bell looks and sounds a lot better and my wheels were pumped, chain lubed/oiled, maybe other things i didn’t ask about didn’t care don’t need to know that’s your department i’m just the rider here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613816941/in/photostream/

checking her out.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614396796/in/photostream/

there goes our girl. satisfied.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614397158/in/photostream/

right beside triple 7 heaven. i won’t bombard you with any more. for now. you got off easy.

so remember folks, Live Better Local will hook you up and if you know of a business (indie only) that should be up on there, encourage them to, it’s FREE to join the directory and it’s free to have your deal spot featured too. eventually i think a business a week should be featured to blog on LBL to keep the co-operative going strong and our city commerce thriving, and me in my wacky adventures combing the city for thrills. the site organizes categories for you too like say i have a hankering for rock climbing, maybe just maybe there’s a place nearby, or better yet, TWO places? spas? which one has the cheapest rate and most whimsical facilities, LBL will tell me because they are only involving themselves with select businesses, the BEST ones. think elite and exclusive. you will never see pizza pizza or shitty tacky sub-par quality services on LBL. if raymi would like it then yes, consider it there.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5617173174/in/photostream

oh so lovely day. today not so much. my bike is being rained on in the driveway right now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5616588257/in/photostream/

luckily i spied a few reflective surfaces in leslieville cheese market to fix my hair by i was looking a little platinum ramones.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5617172886/in/photostream/

see? hahha.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5616587985/in/photostream/

magic pony is now officially in the narwhal location. good work dudes. i think kristin invented magic pony specifically for me. i think she saw inside my brain one day because inside my brain it looks like this window display.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5616587865/in/photostream/

just some blackberry randoms.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5616587795/in/photostream/

i punctured my adventures yesterday with a day time stress relieving half pint with the teacher. i was a stress monster. i had my head down on the bar (tired, not drunk!) i was soo soo exhausted but i knew if i napped i would just burn the fuck out so i kept going. i had a grilled calamari salad with lots of mados to blast my head off despite knowing i’d be eating ethiopian for dinner. teacher says he has a thing for sad girls. he should not have said that now i can manipulate him even more so. he bought me hello kitty mp3 speakers in the form of hello kitty to try and cheer me up or out of my stress vortex. on my way out yesterday i received some stressful news that added to my stress pile. ok no more talking about being stressed for the rest of the week.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5616587439/in/photostream/

day began hungover like this. the macintosh is sooo slooooow. it was so sunny i was annoyed and frustrated by being chained to the computer. i went up for a break before i had to leave to embark on crazy the minx crazy train tour.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5617172072/in/photostream/

some of my brains spilled out on to the pavement.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5616586999/in/photostream/

i was whitening my teeth but wanted a nip of chianti before heading out to dinner. solution? purple princess straw. worked like a charm michelle.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5617171590/in/photostream/

beneath my red hoodie another tracey shirt. a purple gauzy one. teacher was like ok boyfriend response is, wear the grey one out. therefore i went for purple. he’s not my boyfriend even though he is. ha. another girl i know has a boyfriend, for YEARS, but hates introducing him as such. wants to give the appearance of being single maybe? but then i hear she dates too so who knows. my dating/coupling philosophies and practises have wholly changed since becoming singlish, i am way more relaxed about it now and realistic, maybe too relaxed? i am used to things ending or hearing of ridiculously complicated relationships and being none oo phased. engaged raymi was an alien comparatively to today raymi.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5617173532/in/photostream

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5616588849/in/photostream/

do yourself a favour and drop in there, say raymi sent you. you don’t even need to do that to try and get a deal, there is food all over the place to sample but, it doesn’t hurt to show your loose connection to me, no?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5616648147/in/photostream

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5617233522/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5616647897/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5616647707/in/photostream/

well, i guess, girls just want to have blog. right?

see you on the funny farm xoxo.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613803373/in/photostream

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614383330/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614383126/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5616754066/in/photostream

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614383554/in/photostream/

tracey’s been making the rounds. played hostess for courtney and gave her a ton of work clothes. thanks mom. this one pencil skirt i specifically held on to for her she said she loves it. yay! the denim one, mom.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613804075/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614383988/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5614384198/in/photostream/

yesterday i was all over the city. did you see me? we can pretend today’s weather was like yesterday’s by reliving it with me. i accumulated so much blog content yesterday we are good and full BUT it still keeps on a-coming in. WAH my job became a real job. ok see you in a bit with another post.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613887585/in/photostream

me on monday with the dudes. had my wednesday sesh again this morning too. james walked over to compliment my arms, says i have a good definition to them. awesome.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613863181/in/photostream

shrinking violet out.

up next will be this:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613817651/in/photostream

gettin’ ma bike tuned-up and ready for spring. NO more cabs! i was a maniac yesterday for my inaugural bike ride. motorists are not ready for us yet. they fucking better get there again soon. i think you should just accept you live in a bike city and maybe mellow the hell out on the streets you dickheads. saw the aftermath of a hummer going through construction at ossington and queen yesterday, almost into the condo pit’s foundation like however many leagues down to hell deep that hole may be, it was over-hanging even, quebec plates too (snicker hahaha). case in point is spring sprung everyone’s eyeballs and hormones all over the place yesterday luckily i am an efficient athletic maniac and all awares of my surroundings, i’m aggressive on my bike, not defensive. way safer to be instead of a nervous ninny.

and this:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613812869/in/photostream

and then i went for tea after this, and then ethiopian. thank god for my gym.

minx on le move.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5612919471/in/photostream/

more adventures with tracey, ready? haha. one of my dance videos the teacher and i were laughing at cos it was like a younger slutty version of tracey (my mom) rock of lovin’ out and you can’t stop it. haha it’s the perfect burn that keeps on giving.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5612989661/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613570750/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613569900/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5612991359/in/photostream

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5612991027/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5612990647/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613501196/in/photostream

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5612918303/in/photostream/

these are super cheese and fun. i love fuckin around liberty village. it’s so not a real place, it’s spectacular. had faux jappy conversations near other libertarians about holt renfrew and the checking account hahaha.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5612915457/in/photostream/

and i went out as tracey. got some girl sneers but more looks, from older men. tracey bait shirts. wildly printed blouses are bastion hallmarks of maturity. traceyism 101. everything i said and did last night i’d curtail with, tracey! and point at myself.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5612914123/in/photostream/

i think angelina jolie is gonna get a dose of what goes around comes around right, according to my information supermarket papers. that’s where i get all my important and only news because i have been spending a lot of time in supermarkets lately and kitchens. do you want to come to my first supper club of the month? signature cocktails, food obviously and raymbo entertainment. you have to bring wine is all.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613492880/in/photostream/

maybe i’ll get some food sponsors and film everything and blargity blarg.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613491518/in/photostream/

today is a busy day for me i am glad i get to power through it hung. had courtney over last night. i was like i have mix specifically for bison vodka. us and our bison vodka. anyway i made one drink called the raymi rePEAR tonic and one more, with no name yet. i am a mixologist minxologist.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613490032/in/photostream/

had a little shoot up on the roof. i smoked a cig in it. gross maybe that’s why i feel like hell so much. it’s happened before.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5612908705/in/photostream/

i lost an h&m (background) shoot cos of my tattoos. so be cautious young ladies out there. amit was like how old are you i go 28, just turned last week, which is like 200 in modeling years he’s like don’t worry you’ll be background i go yeah a kilometer away right? anyway meh. he said i don’t look 28. wow it’s like i’m obsessed or something? nah i’m not worried i’m being a good girl all the boring pays off when you do what you do during the day, which is photograph yourself obsessively and then in the mirror, oh right, i look better, now i remember why i have been suffering. turning the clock back.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613487310/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613486174/in/photostream/

is is true gwyneth is banging that glee kid too? more important questions haha.. everyone is couging the fuck out right now. spring brings out tha craze or as dustin said, parkdale gets crackier.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5612905177/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5613483830/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610052281/in/photostream/

yesterday’s barista, this perfect angel chick makes me want to puke but i love her, was like oh i have never seen those before, i go yeah all this time you’ve been talking to a cool person and you never knew it. she goes, oh i KNEW it. then she told me about her rib tat and the quote, a line from a poem. more perfection. barf. so i told her a quote and said i’d tell her another one the next time i came back. she liked that. OF COURSE SHE DID BECAUSE SHE IS PERFECT.

ok gotta go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehNxmDus-Oo

making a new feature here it’s me as traceytheminx (in all my mom’s tracey shirts hahaha).

ENJOY!!

we all turn into our moms eventually i’m just nipping it in the bud now.

some photos may or may not load just reclick/refresh a billion times they’ll work eventually.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610550608/in/photostream/

ready for some meet the griswalds level sh*t?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610550554/in/photostream

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610550674/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609971813/in/photostream/

quite the time was had yesterday. the decorations went over well and added a special mania ingredient and overall effect. soundtrack to dysfunction by. my brother loved it. i kinda spoiled the surprise the night before by texting a few pics (NOT of the whole scene) and he said it made him wake up earlier yesterday for it. my dad said 8.30am! i made christmas for my brother. it’s true. the balloons were like a rainbow beachball christmas tree plant.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610550804/in/photostream/

nana and papa came. my dad talked to ed (papa) about ol jackie kerouac and why the various family spellings of it, kerouac vs. kirouac. blah bla etc snore. these ears matched this tracey shirt perfectly. nana was like do you want to brush your hair before your boyfriend gets here i turned over my shoulder as i walked away and said NO THANK YOU NANA! i was fuming. i didn’t have time to brush my bloody hair because i was too busy planning decorating preparing everything right up until my brother came then i got gunned with him on champagne. i remembered britt on thanksgiving looked over her shoulder to me as she beat potatoes (she is mental) that i should’ve seen her up until we arrived she looked like a beast ghoul psychopath? how did you describe it again? anyway i felt like a nightmare mother yesterday.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609971889/in/photostream/

mom was the perfect letting off steam vessel. she thinks she had me here but we both know she could feel my strength and therefore surrendered defeat. i gave her maybe a quarter of what i could’ve given. try me, i’m a greek olympiad now. what the hell is that movie called, 300? i am him. i never saw the movie just the spoof of it and the ad.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609971919/in/photostream/

hailey’s new obsession is the beatles now i bet my mom is super thrilled about that ahahaha. i look like blond micheal jackson which is what i was going for.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610550940/in/photostream/

alison got shawn this wicked airplane and we then reverted further into childhood. this is teacher launching it over the neighbour’s fence. bet that felt great.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551036/in/photostream/

nana tried to take off to catch the masters during shawn’s opening of presents and i publicly snitched on her so she sat on my lap. hey nana your FIRST BORN GRANDCHILD is THIRTY TODAY and he’s opening PRESENTS on this once in a lifetime milestone occasion where are you going, to watch golf?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972095/in/photostream/

i took her down. her little photo publicity stunt backfired on her pretty much immediately.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972141/in/photostream/

i have no idea what is going on here. something is funny.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551218/in/photostream/

mom if we don’t like our arms why must you insist on highlighting them with these stupid oprah shirts that cut off at the shoulders???

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551268/in/photostream/

this is not as it looks, i got out of her pity jump and tackled her.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972339/in/photostream/

look how easy i make it look. my strength is total and awesome.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551426/in/photostream/

love it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551464/in/photostream/

the brown ears kept their chocolate scent all day but i notice dissipated by night’s end. i made shawn take them home. hailey is in the cool stage now, attitude. shawn’s like she hurt my feelings by going “pfft” to me in the car! hahahahah. awwww. payback sucks eh. she does it to me too, so funny.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551510/in/photostream/

aaaaaamazing! requires no explanation right?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972521/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551624/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551668/in/photostream/

soldiers down by 5.30 awesome. start’em early end ‘em early.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972643/in/photostream/

speed reader too.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972723/in/photostream/

guess who did it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972767/in/photostream/

i was like no, put those shitty candles away to my dad clutching these modest pink (pink? really dad?) candles at the party store, we are getting proper fancy candles.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610551902/in/photostream/

my family is also similar to trailer park boys with a sprinkling of, alf?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609972937/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552056/in/photostream/

oh rocky awwwww. my little prince. he loooves me. he’s my little shadow.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552104/in/photostream/

don’t all concubines have a little runt animal that follows them around everyplace they go? yes i think so. rocky came up to me alone in bed saturday morning and we played cat in the cave and he wanted to burrow even further deeper in there with me. i’ve heard differing opinions of cats and memories but i think this guy does remember me when i’m not around or come back again. he’s ten now. my mom still call’s him “she” which is unfixable.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973105/in/photostream/

look my posture is amazing now, i am so much more graceful and less lurchy. thanks tmr.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552212/in/photostream/

do we really need to revisit this one again mom?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973195/in/photostream/

mary lynn and hailey had teacher crushes. well not so much hailey. i love mary lynn. blond up there at the top i am strangling in one photo. i have a photo of holding her when she was a baby. i’ll find it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552328/in/photostream/

look how my right foot looks. retarded black leather potato. i styled this photo of hailey.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552368/in/photostream/

i told linda to harass me if i try and eat any of these. to humiliate me. she said her and shawn go fatty like chocolate? cos they’re both trying to lose weight. after awhile you just tell them to go fuck themselves and eat one anyway. linda’s son harassed me the most though and it worked.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552418/in/photostream/

haha look at my face that’s crazy eye a la steve zissou aka i am going to put you through a wall face. i could feel her frailty so i didn’t go mental i just let her chicken bone arms wobble mine up in the air a little. see how i am gripping her wrist and see how important this is to me, like, this is my news of the day on my blog? hahaa. see how teacher is looking away and how much we give a shit? i told him this was only just scraping the family dysfunction surface you haven’t met the rest of the kerouacs yet. he said multiple people told him “good luck” on sunday. HA HA. ah. meh.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973405/in/photostream/

oh yeah we’re also part animal house. very belushi. yah yah! vive le belushi.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552524/in/photostream/

it was such a beautiful day much like today why the hell am i indoors!?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973543/in/photostream/

blog hits go down when the weather gets warm and go up again come summer so you have to try harder. i know i kill everyone in traffic but if mine dips minimally then i know for sure others must be screwed. you know what else goes down? MY MOM!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973587/in/photostream/

kay mom this is humiliating for the both of us. i think i get more phone calls, emails, mentions about reality shows whenever i feature my family. i have no idea why that is.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552680/in/photostream/

meanwhile normal shit be happenin’.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973791/in/photostream/

a example of why mary lynn is awesome. so clever. she littered their house with print outs of rongo starr apparently the worst artist rendering of ringo on the internet. see how beatlemania infects other families though? mary lynn is bob’s daughter, my dad’s buddy of over 40 years, since high school. big part of the burnoutington chapter, he and his wife erin, who also rules. we have a good little unit out here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610552906/in/photostream/

i feel angelina jolie permanently wears these type of shades. am i right? and brad copies her? is he banging some younger co-star? i saw it on a magazine at the supermarket. please confirm.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973911/in/photostream/

i love this photo mom.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609973957/in/photostream/

this too of course. giz is the same age as shawn. i gave her a 30th candy to go. bob was rippin’ on me that 30 is just around the corner for me too. arg! i’m like dad keep all these decorations then you can save 20 dollars. everything all in cost me 50 bucks to decorate. not bad.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974047/in/photostream/

and a fifty plus copy of esquire. last year i bought him wallabees. he should call them casino shoes cos he only wears them at niagara hahaha. weddings too maybe? i want my brother to dress like a metrosexual. don’t think linda could handle it. thank god he dresses eminem phewf. always dress for the position in society you want to be not what you are. that’s why i dress like a sultan.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974145/in/photostream/

this shirt is not at all flattering, my mom has huge cans so she gets bigger shirts then they just look dumpy and make me look fat. anyway this photo still has to go up.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974211/in/photostream/

nana asked how i was, insinuating that i was not feeling fine, mentally. which means my mom is talking shit behind my back about how i might be a stressed out mental case or something which is fine because i am it’s because i am non-stop working and achieving mom thanks but my nana’s lips quivered when i went, “why!?” then she asked where the teacher was so i was like fine i’ll invite him then. i was on edge all weekend and yes i am hyper-sensitive. i am used to little nana-isms coming at me. she took down shawn too he went in for a sit to try and get her to talk about me but she only nana’d him then he came out fuming ahhaha HAHAHA!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610553334/in/photostream/

oh baby rocky i wuv wuv wuv you. yes this is happening right meow. leave me alone.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610553434/in/photostream/

oh my god hailey you are so cool.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974613/in/photostream/

linda send me your pics!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610553756/in/photostream/

plaid brigade (mom’s insistence, love it) and that babe in the middle is erin.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974755/in/photostream/

who was even taking these? haha.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610553884/in/photostream/

can’t remember who did this. we got a ladder. everyone was blasted. it was hilarious.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974915/in/photostream/

see my little archway?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609974965/in/photostream/

aaand so on.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5609975017/in/photostream/

i brought this over so i could be the center of attention too.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610626800/in/photostream/

i gave hailey the duty of putting the candles on but then wigged her out by saying there are SO many ways to do it. in the end she did it her own original way. impressive. i love her creativity. can you picture me as a teenager with her as a baby lying in bed with me and playing her my jewelry box tinkly music to get her to stop crying and we would nap together or i would pass out from exhaustion cos i’d already been up doing homework after hanging with ward after work after school etcetera? i’m gonna get misty eyed.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610626928/in/photostream/

this got us all ripped. loosened the bitchy right out of me. haha see my glass? dad was like we have to do this outside and i go dad please i have much experience opening these it will just go right into this glass here. he opened it perfectly.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5610048129/in/photostream/

yellow on blond, brown on brown, perfect no?

ok flickr is fucked i have other things that need attention right meow.

xoxox hosers!

love you shawny happy 30th!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606799110/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604580090/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603995163/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604579430/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604580326/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603995797/in/photostream/

part of my gift to my brother will be this circus room (the kitchen is also decked out) but specifically, all the shit that went down whilst trying to put it all up. oh fucking christ my dad and i reached new levels of arguing. we took a drink break after each streamer was strung. we had fun of course, but ribbing and squacking is part of it. that’s how families do right.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604580726/in/photostream/

here he is telling my vision TO me. the one i originally had when buying the decorations. alone. while he waited for the balloons. that i had to tell him to go take a walk in the parking lot for and i’d take care of, myself.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604580918/in/photostream/

i came out to him chilling on a pizza slice. good. i had already started feeling bitchy guilt. this is a good picture because it represents how god-like he became and at one point he was sitting down telling me to twirl or lower the crepe paper before taping and i was like OK STALIN! he’s all who? you know, the russian dictator? he laughed and got it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604581094/in/photostream/

every time he told me to twirl it i’d call him a fag. shawn will especially like that part.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604581288/in/photostream/

aid arrived before we murdered one another.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603996913/in/photostream/

we took another drink break.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603997101/in/photostream/

and annihilated some of the party food for tomorrow, which is today. dad had to go out and replenish our supplies. he and teacher got right ripped last night.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604582016/in/photostream/

i am turning into a party nazi mom. there were tons of those broads at the party store holy crap is it EVERYONE’S birthday today? all these 80 year olds too. guess what, i found out there are a lot of 80 year olds in burlington (the third best place to live in canada, second being BC, first, ottawa. based on low crime, employment, affordability, healthcare bla bla) thanks to the party store and the fleet of pre-ordered 80s stamped on balloons.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603997533/in/photostream/

i figured there’ll be lots of photo taking today so why not push it to next level, level? the brown ears are chocolate scented. those are for shawn but i am keeping them. they can be re-used cos they’re actual animal colour, i am set on it in a bizarrely stubborn way. they also smell like chocolate. case closed. i have a big fluffy pink pair of bunny ears in the tickle trunk already.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604582486/in/photostream/

teacher just went out for a smoke (i DESPISE smoking btw) and said two joggers waved at him. i’m like woah we’re pretty rural out here then eh?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603997957/in/photostream/

i am bloated like mental right now, this month’s cycle has been crizzazzy. henceforth yesterday was a bloaty day in the raymbohood.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603998191/in/photostream/

it’s true. all true. i’m going to drive the point of how much my brother sucks home today like no other. you know when you make an accidentally spot on joke hitting someone’s weakness perfectly by mistake and they reveal it, then you have power over them for the rest of the day? kind of like that? or when i made that ten dollar joke about calling the bar for my missing ten dollar bill, the more april laughed the more i could reinforce that funny and make it funnier. ok i just woke up so i don’t know if anything i am saying right now is actually happening, much less funny. i like the white tips of these ears.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603998373/in/photostream/

that bubble balloon is the best.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604583270/in/photostream/

so matchy. i didn’t want it to look like a st. patricks day party or a baby shower for a boy also, blue and green should never be seen unless it’s in a washing machine. i tell you, i am martha f–ing stewart.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604583448/in/photostream/

i need fake tits. then i can make all the playboy bunny jokes forevs.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604583668/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604583904/in/photostream/

i ploughed through these chocolates yesterday. not all of them but i am staying away from the rest today because i have an eating problem. an everything problem. problems. probs. probably. 99 problems but a chocolate ain’t one. not today at least. these are those supermarket metro chocolates, cheap and delicious and better thanevery. they’re filled with fudge. also a peanut version. YUM.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604584098/in/photostream/

ok back to work.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603999675/in/photostream/

load bearing tape. lots of tape. we had fights and debates about the tape. oh you betcha. i almost stuffed a rabbit ears in teacher’s eye socket.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604584526/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604584760/in/photostream/

here we went retro popcorn ceiling capture vision.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604584982/in/photostream/

st. andrew green cross.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604000431/in/photostream/

which isle would that represent?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604000657/in/photostream/

wanted to get me socks in the mirror. don’t you hate when people type british or aussie or whatever and they have zero fucking accents but still relentlessly feel the need to drive the point home they went to new zealand for a month?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604000847/in/photostream/

ooh that’s a good one. feels a lot fuller when you’re in the space. this is before i added blue ribbons.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604001039/in/photostream/

then teacher got a taste of abuse we barked at him simultaneously as he tried to tape this one simple crepe ending. it is so easy to conduct from your ass in a chair and hyperly-fucking irritating to be the one taping the thing up. you don’t have eyes when you’re up there but chair ass thinks they’re GOD now. there’s absolutely no solution for it. husbands and wives for years will suffer this picture hanging hell. my dad actually had to ask me how he could tell me the crepe paper was too high without me blowing up at him and i was like i dunno DON’T then! yeah it was psychotic. it should have been filmed.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604001225/in/photostream/

oh hey budday. rocky (the cat) has been a little on edge but more or less coping fine by stella’s companionship.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604586146/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604586344/in/photostream/

time for another break and a costume change.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604001773/in/photostream/

i wonder if my mother is bringing those three other bags of clothes for me today?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604001963/in/photostream/

added more shit to the room, the dangling 30 mobiles. which also got heated of where to place them. oh man next time i am hiring blog slaves who don’t give me any back talk and will just take orders.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604002269/in/photostream/

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAKASCONNIE! see you later!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603994357/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604578838/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604578642/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603993791/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604578036/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5603993201/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5604577620/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606212549/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606212691/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606212867/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606213049/in/photostream/

just getting them all in before my mom takes over. FIRST!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606213219/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606798890/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606798994/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606798734/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606214185/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606799564/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606214669/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606214785/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606800122/in/photostream/

yesterday was beautiful.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606800320/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606800490/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5606800660/in/photostream/

dad got duped by jehovas. ha burn.

kay gotta make my h’ourderves now.