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ok paris hilton gets credit cos she started this entire mess i feel. she’s like a hello kitty pink bubblegum selfish amazing slut nightmare and look, a pink bentley. why not?

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you just want to hate this shit but the soft pink pants secretly make you understand. men are stupid for blond and soft pink. it’s like being with a cloud. a cloud care bear.

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even just holding something the colour pink. genius.

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so doesn’t give a shit.

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perfection. an empiress cloaked in pink. what the hell is wrong with me?

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weird skinny princess di look ok sure.

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when i look like you i will reward myself with a big mac.

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perfect.

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last one. a living barbie.

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this one gets a baseball game wave, standing ovation, and lots of bowing. good show michelle. jolly good. these are all my favourite blonds by the way in case you weren’t paying attention.

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the dunstky. dunsterama. cowa-dunster. duntsterini. oh yeah.

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loved that hair so much i had mine done like it for my tenth anniversary jam.

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she is exquisite.

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me ee ee ow. another goal for next halloween. it’s like a two-for deal. awesome plus awesome. look awesome without the suit on, look awesome because of the suit. if not for the awesome the suit would not exist. dude, the matrix was a great movie eh.

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total cunt to the max and i love ove ove it.

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and her twat boyfriend. of fucking course she goes with this guy (i love him, i am in personae, shh don’t get hurt feelings now) so she can be madonna except her pedigree is better to begin with therefore more entitled.

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oh f you gwyneth you rolled out of bed like that and a simultaneous good show, good on ya there.

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i love her the most when and because she does this. the black thick liner. we know i do that too. maybe it started the most when i started modelling and being nikola and i never stopped and then royal tenenbaums came out and we were all fucked then.

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her body is insane. this scene made me so relate, being very perverted about your time alone, greedy, just so adore it and do a lot of artistic things, whimsical dreamy possibilities are endless girly plotting at your finest when you are alone. melodie and i are practicing being ladies with aprons on in the kitchen and speak to one another as julia childs. we curtsy. we are hilarious.

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her graceful beautiful mother. when i heard that gwyneth couldn’t get out of bed for a week, she could not get up when her father died i was heartbroken by it. so sad. i can see her being plagued by sadness to begin with, he was her hero. it makes me choke up.

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perfect. totally perfect.

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she’s getting older so you can like her more now.

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she is a doll. i love dolls. she is a perfectionist control freak through and through i have such a raging biggie for those types and i cannot help but to fuck with them.

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also me. my room is a life vacation.

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oh i just remembered that i forgot to add gwen stefani. next time.

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totally.

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ew am i a larper now?

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fuckin’ right i’d be lounging around all over the place in that get-up.

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wicked!

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who’s your favourite wet blanket???? THIS GIRL! holly madison

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another perfectionist A type personality. from alaska too.

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she’s a neurosurgeon compared to that idiotstick kendra.

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very powerful woman. totally void and normal, envious of that idiotstick kendra for her ability to be a real human.

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wears retarded outfits to make up for lack of personality. looks amazing. everybody wins.

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embodies playboy. vamp. bombshell. cascading curls. classic. classy.

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enterprising. success.

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then we have elle. played by southern belle reese witherspoon. total perfectionist. she brought a slow cooker on to the ellen degenerous show and served her some southern pulled pork she made from scratch (insane! she is incredible) and ellen served herself first and started chowing down while reese sat there and went hmmph, all dainty, full on stepford wife mode, like ms. manners and ellen blushed. women like that who make you feel like a slob, you just want to impress them so hard.

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absolutely amazing. so much so they made a fucking musical around this fictional character. do gay dudes cry at legally blond? is it still playing, and in toronto? i kind of need to see it.

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my favourite favourite.

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so seriously, what is wrong with me?

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bath time!

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i feel so fantastic after my work out today. i was a fucking animal. i assaulted the elliptical then the treadmill. hello old friend i thought. i’m a fast runner on that shit. before i forget, next thursday is a cougar pre-drink/dinner party at BOOM. if i cook for you it’s free. also if you come you are eligible to win a prize. a family day prize. hint hint. casie is going to do an interactive training session with me this friday morning at the motion room if you want to nab a spot for that experience, let me know. my body is really starting to transform now. next week i start more weights. i am going to reward myself with a tropical vacation if i turn into christina ricci in black snake moan by my birthday. disney cruise anyone? totally not fucking with you.

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gorgeous wine.

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starbucks are a bunch of evil geniuses. their showcase kills me. i only ever get the reduced fat banana chocolate chip loaf (that tastes like disgusting) or an espresso brownie which i inhale by the time my americano soy misto is ready. i cheat on cherry bomb with starbucks sometimes, also poor john’s if i anticipate a line at cherry. i get tangled into talk with the poor john’s chick too much (which i love but can’t afford when in a rush to tmr, which i typically am because i am always, always late).

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some new orleans photos. that was just december 3. time flies. leslie and i ate here two years ago. they were filming a movie out front, this is canal street. i saw the clip of the scene in a trailer for the film a few months back. street car action scene. the food here is great.

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tropical christmas.

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quite the difference in climate than toronto at the time.

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bad hair dude.

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watch yourself now.

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dirtbag princess.

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even the power lines are lazy and sultry. magnificent. i love southern hospitality, southern belles. slow laid back don’t make a fuss. work days end at 3 and it’s mint julips and men dressed like 1920’s bankers they go mm hmm in lieu of a you’re welcome. when i first met bunny, hearing her accent was a trip. a genteel girl, no hint of crass even though she’s actually kinda punk. we had a hot moment.

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anyway, new orleans is a place for muses. it is a muse. everyone is out there, decadent. a bit dark beneath the surface, born snake charmers. hustlers. genuine people. the scene is other-worldly. friday is disneyland drink fest crowds everywhere you get swept up into it drink in hand in and out entire bars to courtyards of drunks from every corner of america everyone engages with you back on the street again cobblestone u-turn through another bar full of patrons treating you with class and manners escorting you through ornate rooms with piano players and yet more servants there waiting for you, just you, special you. after suffering conservative toronto no eye contact universe soaking up that attention is intoxicating. everyone is drunk and friendlier. dancing in doorways pissed at 1pm. you can forget who you are here.

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this was the best weekend. thanks so much for this leslie.

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haha here i am wicked pissed over the virus i immediately contracted upon opening that shit. oh well. s’all good now.

next up BLONDE IDOLS.

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finally fished out my platinum wig for melodiva. died laughing playing around with it. we’re going out on the town as two raymis. get a wig for lucas too. go about our normal domestics in platinum. just another day.

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i am multiplying. you cannot stop it.

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i always wanted a me.

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had a mellow night in. i came home to party statues yesterday afternoon. we missed each other.

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then i did a martha stewart in my princess cave. i am going to get a new little table for my room, one i can tuck my legs under not this file storage unit (on wheels) thing i’m using currently.

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i cleaned my room.

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here we go. like this, like this. i gave a pose like raymi tutorial.

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before this mel was donning a long princess leia brown braid i attached to a headband and she was swinging it. lucas and i laughed for 3 minutes and i cried and gripped my hair it was hilarious.

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mel why is your slipper on my rad? that towel i acquired after may 2-4, guy left it in my room after our weekend away. awesome towel. pants are air drying. wearing them tonite (in two hours!) on a date. i am mega cramp pre-menstrual bloated so i am freaking out over what to wear.

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how amazing is it that i bought that wig two years ago never knowing i would one day have hair the exact same match. it’s from malabar and it was about 80 dollars. real hair.

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sisters? who, us? when i first moved in we got that a bit, also on my blog.

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then we flash ‘em the ol raymbo bright smile. we refer to that in the field as the 1-2 knock out. we are going to fucking destroy this city, melodie.

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the Michelle Tanner, (one of my personal role models) and we also like stephanie tanner, the sweet valley high twins, elle woods, cher horowitz, and others i’ll come back to later. vana white. holly madison.

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random mucking about. the ironic and shitheady.

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the uncomfortably wasted and gimmicky shot.

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if this is the first one you’d see on a camera and if you were me you’d go holy shit that’s me. so got it down. hey dude who bought my tea painting and already paid, HEY stoner! when do you want it? this guy emailed me with the subject title: alice in wonderland fisher price inspired tea party perfect for your kid’s room i guess i wrote that on my flickr stream. what a seller i am. i am working on a piece suitable for a girl’s room at the moment too. available. it’s hot pink and purple and gold. you sort of see it here.

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fisherman is the look til spring.

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i am getting my ears pierced, notice the earrings? melucas got me three pairs of vintage clip (screw-on) earrings i look good with them. they make my ears red though. i can deal. also we love all disney princesses and we give kudos to those who psychotically emulate (live as) princesses, like those harajuku princess lolita chicks. fascinating. love the commitment.

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at least for photo’s sake.

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new camera amazingness thank you alen! drank the first half of that bottle with stew when we went to see black swan.

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that butterface pin-up is available for sale. so is lucas.

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weird shot what is this kodak 1995 film?

ok weiner eaters here’s some from the blackberry. i just got a bill for $250 for that thing ugh and the month before $200. this might be the last blackberry photo round-up so enjoy it. -daddy warbucks.

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and melodie got the hydro today. we aren’t opening it for a week yet. we don’t want any snow swans diving (get it? swan dive?) off bridges just yet. so buy my diamond painting or that house one, appearing in the parklife blur music video. google it.

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children of the corn.

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pre-menses tits. unintentionally lewd, wanted to get hair.

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what is it an ewok? lucas making us brunch.

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went out for a gay salad at squirrly’s in thermal pants, a kind of date. this outfit was very manipulative.

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oh snap there i am.

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jamie‘s raymi painting, when i went as “nikola” and “modelled” and on the left my indifferent declaration. available for sale, it looks really good in person too. comes with frame.

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i smirked to myself when i got out of my cab and thought how ridiculous i am right now a walking kurt cobain. i showed my cousin my lily tattoo and said it’s in a way, sort of a nirvana tattoo and he said that it was an awesome nirvana tattoo. we have a strong similarity (nirvana lovers, anything 90’s brother too), like-minded. it’s like having a twin almost.

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that bird is a finch. there’s a tiny lamb i’ll finish by valentine’s. both for sale.

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my left shoulder is pretty sore. this is a good thing. i put my mind and body through an intense workout yesterday james said. when i arrived i said i wanted to f–ing murder someone so lets go. i was late driving from burlington in a blizzard on top of being stuck behind two slow ass snow ploughs and dropping off my cousin. i had been up and ready by 8.

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a raymi sighting thrice weekly here.

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yeah great awesome.

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yeah i’ll just look over here then. kind of like it actually if weren’t in a humongous dangerous rush. saw lots of sliders.

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yeah no worries it just started like this too. narnia siberia alaska storm.

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and jeremy and co. were going skiing.

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dad not at all pumped to be brushing that shit off in the morning and then to be driving. aw.

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sustenance. that’s my sashimi take out. spicy tuna.

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i was talking to lucas here and he goes excuse me sorry i was sleeping bahaha. eyes were closed and he had a mini fall asleep meanwhile i’m talking to a statue. party statue. funniest weekend ever.

ok date outfit frenzy begins.

STRUNG OUT SUNDAY comes once a week. magic.

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good thing that toque looks exactly like a swim cap. OLYMPIAD!

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fat weekend. bloated. cow.

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gotta get cracking on my tan before it permanently fades.

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my cousin’s hippie backpackers backpack. i’m like get a suitcase like a normal person, jesus.

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was going through yet more montreal photos. still a couple more batches to go.

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discovered a shirt in my brother’s old closet with the tag on it still, keeping with the 90’s theme. he was pissed i got these docs. called me a poseur. he had these when he was a teenager (asshole) so i said yeah i got them to piss you off, specifically. it worked. dude is there a ban on something because you owned it once?

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cheesy sitcom hair. i was trying to capture my teeth for a piece of fish who has nice teeth to show him we are in the same teeth league.

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i am going to whiten them some more though. all that coffee i drink it shows sometimes.

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i was thirsty.

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some pro shots from nye (andrew link please) here is andrew‘s post re: INQNYE.

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maaaaaaybe i should retire the whole peace sign thing.

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i look like i have marbles in my mouth what the hell, face?

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wow so, uhhmmmm, i look like i am from silent hill in the face here. demon raymi. party ghoul. also sort of abular whilst simultaneously blobtastic. gifted!

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top right.

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casie is fixing something on me.

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why on earth wasn’t i chosen for this?

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lucas doing the tom hanks. he came around a corner up in vip and slid on all this confetti as he was speed-chasing after some one or thing and i burst into laughter, lucas that was so fucking tom hanks of you i cannot get the image out of my head.

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party brats.

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i have 300 pictures from the official photog of these guys busting their boy band group poses. ENOUGH ALREADY. also how perfect are they?

capital shit show.

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here i am on the floor of yyz (toronto airport to everybody else) kind of totally kicked in the head by our wild whirlwind montreal expedition. i’m emo about my toe and bagged but i’m cool about it cos i’m going straight to a nurse comedown get together, ease back in to the real world delay, thankfully. we waited forever for our luggage on the carousel.

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melinq wrote us all love notes while waiting to board our flight back. i gave her a product placement brand name. it goes against everything she stands for, which makes it funnier. also like driving around in my uncle’s hummer last nite with my cousin in the snow. so wrong but so right.

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post brunch. it was psychedelic. going through security was like right out of a movie me and lucas trying to keep it together. lucas was pretty joaquin phoniexy there. impressively so.

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night one casie/stew’s room. this would be the waltz of the benefactress.

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why do i have the style of a garbage pail kid? that yellow shirt is melodie’s. i absconded it. we share our entire wardrobe. i proposed rearranging the picture on the wall. stew entertained the notion. i recanted. we’re trying to keep the rock and roll spirit alive.

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lucas diamond phillips.

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i don’t know how but this outfit kind of totally works. and i look pretty young too. i’m gonna be drew barrymore in that spoof movie where she poses as a highschooler when really she’s thirty. woman predator.

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just try and fight it.

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here comes the raymi cherry on top.

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to be young and stylish and good looking, oh life.

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inspiration for my blog post title. here. evidence.

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if someone is going to christen my bed by standing on it before i get a chance, that’s a ballsy move.

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oh dear.

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this is more embarrassing backwards. everyone was doing this stupid pose i’m doing i assure you i only did it this once. we were mocking and giving in to the frat boy mentality. these dudes are all football players, 19-20. very, very green.

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they were fun to hang with.

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oh totally. casie you are gorgeous.

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oh my god. no longer surprising.

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stupid pose again. when you’re cute you can get away with anything.

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this young guy was such a smooth little criminal. i put him in his place a few times. naturally.

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shit show. melodie and i came down from my room to this crime scene. we heard it was a bottle of vodka at first. oh poor panda. learn how to pace.

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the criminal. so loaded. good start brah hahaha.

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mmm sumptuous curtains. melodie and i were having a spat meanwhile my neighbours were jamming away and in between our fight silences there’d be moaning like porno doing it. it was too humourous and neither mel nor i were going to budge from our positions. fine.

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swooning. fabulous decor.

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oh hey there who’s your friend?

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dunno says pipi pony she’s been ignoring me all night.

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serious times in the bar lounge. this chick was invited by her ex dude to impress her into digging him again and it worked. french contest winner. slam it out of the ballpark much inq? love story to the max.

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shit pic.

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more of the same of that.

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had the place to ourselves until the place filled up.

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i’m going to wear a bow tie. you’ll see.

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oh hi there.

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both lose for faces in this one. well maybe not.

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THE WIN.

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dance my ass up and down the stairs incorporate back and forth to bar into moves.

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buh. am pickled.

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club bains douche. what is with that name seriously i know it means bath house but you know, uh guys. nevermind.

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crashed at uncle’s last nite. maniacal on the elliptical i am.

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weighed self. hate self.

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hair did at funky toque. amazing colourist.

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tan lines faaaaaaading.

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s’morning at uncle’s.

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red flag’s.

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nite steak last nite pre-hot tub.

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escargots.

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couldn’t get the home movies going. apparently mom was in this footage too.

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s’morning. all the kerouacs go blind in the end.

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BUILDING MY EMPIRE.

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BURGLIN’ SHIT.

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COMPLETE AND WHOLE ANGEL 100%

BURLINGTON WHUUUT!

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ok, here we go.

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last nite i was pretty knackered so i thought to myself, date with a fish or emma’s backporch with my mom and co. and be somewhat mellow about it. the proof of my decisions are as follows…

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we kinda hold court when we party here. it’s wing nite. they all come out. also it was the game. went to tin cup first, wasn’t feeling it.

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look how much i am being stared at here. everyone who goes to emma’s in burlington are pretty rural, or even more so than that. those guys were from ancaster? alliston? whatever. they are beguiled by me big time. these guys both couldn’t get it together then one of my requests (they played every single one) came on and i said excuse me gentleman i have to go dance slutty with my mom now thanks.

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some were better dancers than others. me? shithead through and through.

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i am never wearing those pants ever again. mom called them jc hammer pants. cousin jeremy and i died laughing at her and insert the mention into regular conversation.

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see how i have to show my entire outfit? see my future over there top left? (we’ll come back to that). lois in the pink shirt is my new little doll. we swapped headbands. see how i am turning everyone around me into me? she brought that headband specifically for me. i love it.

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the young crowd came out. i am the older one lurking the youngers getting a taste of my own medicine.

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this is my stressed out gossip intake face. stroking my locks obsessively.

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the dudes cockblock the girls. everyone wears black and has light blond/white hair. including me. awesome.

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girl with the gloves kept asking me to take her picture. we started the dance party. we always do. or i do. wet blanket girls were scowling at me. i so don’t care. the guys were loving it.

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yeah yeah come fuck with this ol’suburby really what you should be doing is dancing with me you stupid assholes.

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i hawk-eyed the room and put phil to work. he did up my shoelace a few times. one of my game move strategies is doing up my shoe or getting a guy to do it up for me. everybody wins. you’ll see.

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maybe i should wear a crucifix and dine alone in a swank italian restaurant.

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this outfit is kinda skinheady. if i put the yellow laces in will i look like ronald mcdonald? i knew the avante garde pants would look great with these boots and fake out into visualizing suspenders.

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i don’t even need to take my camera out of the car when i go out with mom.

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uh, future much? she bee-lined me. gravitated. oh hi there. she’s an ex model. she was givin’er.

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totally normal pose, nothing’s going on here.

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amazing.

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he’s 20.

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raymbo bright attack.

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i ate the fuck out of those nachos.

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this guy gets it. he’s one of the regulars too. they rip me hard.

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this outfit is so nineties. it’s tripping me out.

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i was pretty tired. and pretty.

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i snapped at this guy. he cupped my ass. he’s going to be on the food network on that show, food wars? i fucking lost it. they weren’t going to use the footage cos they were trainwreck drunk. i was like they so are and he said yeah they called the following week. got them wasted. he was blotto too. dude if you fucking ever touch me again i will throw you down some stairs you can’t do that. i walked away to phil and said i’m taking a time out right now otherwise i cause an enormous scene.

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i’ve never gotten so many hugs before in my life. it’s the hair and the overall personality mellow out i think.

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the guys behind us were dying over our antics.

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inflatable bopper fight. i got my mom in the face so many times i can’t wait to tell my brother.

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this is just a normal night. seeing the kardashians with my mom last nite on the people’s choice awards was like watching us.

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oh hey jeremiah. haven’t seen you since last christmas when my life was in a complete mess for other reasons.

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very, very much cut from the same cloth. this is the kerouac side proper.

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and speaking of eerie future this is your boat cruise captain contest winners from my tenth anniversary party at wrong bar. there are many things to take note of in this photograph. the similar allignment to my mother and i, and hair, my cousin and his dad (my mom’s brother, my uncle) and the necessity of his shirt removal to neurotically showcase his work out progress. we’re on our way over to his place now to have steak and escargots and a hot tub while the snow falls on us. i never see these people so when i do we um, do these things together?

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my favourite. jeremy and i know how ridiculous this is but normal for us. this is the reality show right fucking here. there is so much more backstory too. it just keeps going.

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my uncle is two years older than my mom.

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on our way to my dad’s.

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showing my uncle my cafe du lac review post. he won dinner for two there at my party.

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awkward family photo.

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HOT TUB TIME MACHINE TIIIIIIME!