Any guesses a to whom I went on this date with? He’s on tv. Still.

mega stressed. though, getting through it and feel better. hired an assistant so i can be less bridezilla. FATM with skidfanie tonite and like 20 other friends who are all going. my brains are fried.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140384176/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139779365/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139780649/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140386542/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140387120/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139783685/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140389734/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140390614/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140391490/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140393060/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140395322/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139791761/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140397300/in/photostream/

i am a humongous woman. i am a lot of a person. the first time i realized i was an amazon was in grade 3 sitting beside little jessica arruda, this petite cute as a button portuguese girl i looked down at her matching purple jogging suit and my own self also clad in a purple jogging suit and i said to myself something is wrong here, she is littler than me. i wanted to be that small and dainty. but no i was the tallest girl in my class in every grade up til grade eight til everyone else started growing. i was the smartest and the tallest, the funniest loudest, but i wasn’t as tiny as jessica arruda or as cute as her. i hugged my knees as tightly as i could during story time and thought about how big i was, surely everyone else around me must have noticed how glaringly humongous i was.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139793827/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139794557/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139796019/in/photostream/

i was the flattest with the biggest nose and no one ever let me forget about it. a fat comedian last week made a snark about beautiful women never having to develop personalities. you can be beautiful now but it’s ok to have been an ugly duckling, a caterpillar. i wanted to heckle. the table of hot gay guys beside us declared that i was beautiful and my face flushed, the room went still. i had heckled previously to the hostess “EW” when she said her mom said pubes fall out when you get older. my distinct loud girl voice was mistaken for one of the queen’s, one of the faggots. by now the word is being thrown around like crazy so i say no it was me who said it not the faggots. they howl and move out of the way so she can see who speaketh.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140400912/in/photostream/

she was going into comedian mode (this woman is famous btw) like who is this ugly lout yelling in the room and one queen says oh no, she is beee-yuuuu-tiiiiifullll. she is?? i hold a candle beneath my chin and my ghoulish unflatteringly lit from below face terrifies her.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140401690/in/photostream/

she takes advantage of that moment in time to scream like i startled her. i remove the candle demurely, my cheeks are hot pink and i’m blushing profusely by now as there is WAY too much attention on me. i have adrenaline surging through me, coursing from head to toe and i ride it the house lights go up above my head and the room stares at me, spotlit.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140403582/in/photostream/

the room is silent, what is the review of this loud heckler with the chick from sueprbad’s voice? (one day i’ll blog about all the men in my life who are obsessed with my voice).

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139799865/in/photostream/

oh my god, she is beautiful.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139801409/in/photostream/

i die.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139802117/in/photostream/

everyone is staring still, more comments about my beauty. my hair is up in a cute messy bun, i am sitting in a pew at spirits, my companion now realizes my pedigree a little more mayhaps. this is a trophy i have wedged up close beside me.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140407178/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140407942/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139804337/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140409438/in/photostream/

i was wearing my jackie o sweater and i was drinking champagne. probably the only person in the place who ordered champagne that night. or in a long time.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139806051/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140411378/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140412640/in/photostream/

you never really get to see this side of my face.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140413384/in/photostream/

what do i wear for my party? something pin-up. katy perry outfit.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140414242/in/photostream/

i want to source huge cupcakes and gum drops and lollipops. massive cutesy girly candyland world.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139810733/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139811379/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139812729/in/photostream/

Kirk Cameron how?
about an hour ago · LikeUnlike
*
Raymi Lauren White don’t question tickle trunk
about an hour ago · LikeUnlike
*
Kirk Cameron it made my wife jealous. she says hi
about an hour ago · LikeUnlike
*
Raymi Lauren White you are so full of it who are you guy
about an hour ago · LikeUnlike
*
Kirk Cameron why so unbelievable. You have an interesting blog and my wife likes it. maybe it is you that has the “hipster” negativity
about an hour ago · LikeUnlike
*
Raymi Lauren White everyone on fb that i know in canada is dubious of an alleged kirk cameron, rightly so.
about an hour ago · LikeUnlike
*
Kirk Cameron no need to explain myself. enjoy. I shall not share my wife’s comments on your photos from now on.
about an hour ago · LikeUnlike
*
Raymi Lauren White haha
about an hour ago · LikeUnlike
*
Kirk Cameron i bet what you were expecting when calling me out was “OH. RAYMI!! I love you, and i cant be without you in my daily life. I see you everywhere and I wish you would be my girlfriend.” NOPE! G_D Bless
about an hour ago · LikeUnlike
*
Raymi Lauren White leave her for me
about an hour ago · LikeUnlike
*
Kirk Cameron Done! she nor the good lord would be happy…… never mind she said you can have me

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140458720/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140459672/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139856551/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140461794/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140462886/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140463746/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140464610/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139861921/in/photostream/

gym rat time. biking in this cold i am not looking forward to it. will be working out at a new gym in the junction soon.

messy room. it is a morgue this is me getting toasty waiting for blind greek for a late nite wino in a cozy pub on wellington. one glass to take the edge off. i am not partying until my party now. it’s go time.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5139656979/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5140260816/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138633504/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138633108/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138632724/in/photostream/

lucas sent me the torontoist article on bss nite. they said my courtney love was “lets just say accurate” but now the article is gone. make the papers baby that’s all you gotta do. measure what they say in inches -warhol. welp, i got mad inches then.

that performance got me in eye weekly.

these are casie’s pics. enjoy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137975396/

fake smoke pose. smoking is disgusting. if you smoke, you are disgusting. i ran up the street cos i was freeezing and then i got halloween pranked. a guy jumped out of a pile of leaves at me with a mask and went bRAAAAAAAH! i screamed and yelled then said fuck off laughingly and kept running. a crowd of twenty people were all waiting i was so oblivious they laughed casie and her sister jenie howl i keep going.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137975572/in/photostream/

very ballsy to do that in parkdale man i could have shot you.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137369085/in/photostream/

i didn’t even have to tell people who or what i was. oh, you’re courtney love. you’re missing kurt’s blood on your hands. i will push you down the stairs next time you say something so stupid. dekel and that mean girl i asked if they also believed that elvis was still alive and if they also believe in the tooth fairy. idiots. he did it himself. accept it babies.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137369343/in/photostream/

quite the spectacle, us two.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137369631/in/photostream/

and all the stars were just like little kids.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137976914/in/photostream/

brats. we need collector’s cards, casie.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137370631/in/photostream/

like the garbage pail kids. this one would be called malibeauty (take on malibu, hole song).

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137370793/in/photostream/

apple juice and water.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137371049/in/photostream/

give party a chance.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137371587/in/photostream/

mousey girl said she was an insecure cat. i said oh you mean, a hipster?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137371981/in/photostream/

if you were wasted enough you could pretend i looked like gwen here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137978914/in/photostream/

the intruders are in the house now, they’re getting closer. send help.

got stink eye from a couple at the end of the bar watching us take bozo pictures (aka. having fun) casie goes out for a butt i am left there standing alone to fend for myself so i put my empty glass on the bar and say sweet as pie to the guy in the cozy sweater, “i love your sweater.” and he breaks mean toronto hipster guy character and totally melts, gushes thank you. girl absolutely sizzles. i stalk off without acknowledging her. i really hate mean people and i’m not going to take it anymore. this city is harsh with attitudes like that you may as well be the lower east side.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137979762/in/photostream/

this dress makes me look like a cow.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138081106/in/photostream/

courtney vision. broken social scene amazazazazazing. we danced punk. i know i did.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138081270/in/photostream/

listen mama i get triple your traffic why do you get more free shit than me?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138081776/in/photostream/

woah.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137476117/in/photostream/

lipstick on my chin. IN CHARACTER. melodie said i coulda been trashier oh don’t worry progressively throughout the night my costume will reveal itself more and more.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137476259/in/photostream/

what’s that?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137476537/in/photostream/

a lady always knows when to leave. payce. thanks virgin america i will ride you any day.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138082580/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138083196/in/photostream/

gong show venue deux. nsc. that’s my smart serve card. i can serve you. smartly.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138083348/in/photostream/

french cigarettes are fine. beatnik pinners.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138083552/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137477853/in/photostream/

party on the fire escape.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137478099/in/photostream/

casie and i are going to become a relationship like oprah and gayle. we need to get a steadman though.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138084024/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138084518/in/photostream/

we are the new spice girls except we have no talent other than drinking a lot.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137478855/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138084814/in/photostream/

actually casie can do back flips she is a bullet.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138085140/in/photostream/

i wish she was yelling in my face. look at my hair awesome. it smells really good too.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137479451/in/photostream/

uh oh.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5138085548/in/photostream/

casie’s face says it all.

ticket thing is fixed. GIVE ME YOUR MONEYS LEBOWSKI.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5136573493/

i have no idea if the tickets are sold out i am assuming that isn’t the case, malfunction. don’t sweat it just pay at the door or email me (raymi@raymitheminx.com) if you have a blog and i’ll put you on the list. blogging equals medi-uh. oh my god i’m dying. hung. good day to be hung. rockstar. purchase tickets.

NOVEMBER 11 IS REMEMBRANCE DAY BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY IT IS RAYMI DAY. I FOUGHT FOR OUR COUNTRY ON THE INTERNET FOR TEN YEARS. COME SALUTE ME.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5136745543/

it was hard but i think i pulled off being a train wreck last nite.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5136745043/in/photostream/

jesus.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5136744491/in/photostream/

oh what a nite.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137348258/in/photostream/

casie’s sister is awesome. we want to do a show. them two vs. me and my mom.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5136743377/in/photostream/

and sprinkle some of the rest of the raymi cast of characters.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137347258/in/photostream/

parts n labour crowd. meh. kind of fucking assholes. seriously get over life already, get over the scene stop thinking everything is so bloody important all the time. also fuck you jonathan dekel in your pajamas and smug beard hahah. i had to defend courtney love’s honour all nite long. people thinking kurt killed himself vs. her really divides people. whoever you are chick who was being catty and mean to me and smugly read my blog you said i had a bad attitude you also were a bitch to casie at some point too? yeah i’m pretty fucking sick of people in this city being assholes for no reason, it isn’t cute. it’s really revealing. casie and her sister suffered so much mean girl shit, women calling husband’s wives and lying about them fucking their men, credit card fraud. psycho shit. all cos they were the cute blond sisters in whatever town they are from. can you imagine? i have a great attitude. me, i’m good. but in the end i liked you afterall once i told you my crazy deep river experience can’t wait til that hits the netz. please don’t be mean to me in the comments i suffer enough i am too sensitive a creature for this constant slamming. friends say i should hire someone to field my mean press.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5136742129/in/photostream/

people were able to point out my “costume” (life imitating art imitating life) very easily. casie just wanted an excuse to dress like a slutty little lesbian. this is just a tiny sample of ridiculous photos.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5136741757/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5136741381/in/photostream/

dekel was all oh how lovely that your costume isn’t exactly what you are in real life. fucker. like i don’t already think that about myself every single day. the city needs a rock star so i will give them one. fuck courtney i’m goin’ spungen. if i was an actual train wreck i don’t think i’d be doing as well as i am presently thank you very much. and then i pants’d him.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5137345264/in/photostream/

i made an FB event for my party release me from my hell and click ATTEND so i can tell my companies the quantity of products necessary for my swag bags. speaking of, if you want in on this now’s the time to ask before those babies get filled up. like it or lump it my blog is on fire right now.

Ten years people. There are many people I’d like to thank but mostly, I thank myself for persevering and overcoming adversity. Many of you hate me and that’s ok, I hate you too, but only because you hated me first and still, I triumphed over you, one and all. As evidence of this I invite you to come celebrate ten years of my excellence.

your pal Raymi.