new hairs. new hairs did. done did. thanks rose! (holy shit check out my calf told ya i’m gettin’ ripped)(that cougar kaftan is britt‘s)

look i went to this, above, from this, below. what a difference.

rose is a colour genius if you ever need something corrected GO.TO.ROSE. at brennen demelo even if it’s just a regular hair touch up, roots, anything, she’s amazing. 416.301.1072

in between i looked like this. JUST KIDDING omg you guys are so easy.

no i looked like this. another dress by britt. girl has dual citizenship so she goes stateside for crazy cheap deals on insano-dresses and gets over them in ten seconds. score for this guy.

did that little half ponytail pulled back thing boring sluts do, it’s like the mullet of ponytails.

brad had another show at the bovine last nite. i gave him a necklace i made, i promised him a long time ago i’d get him this necklace i had from my first bf – a super long chain with a metal worn down blue guitar pick on it, i have no idea where it went i might of had a moment of closure back when i was mental and gave it back to his sister, anyway, so instead last nite i took a bullet off a keychain and put it on another long chain i had. offered it to fil first in case i was doing a bad thing (i dunno rules, feels like there are rules in giving dudes who aren’t your boyfriend when you have a fiance jewelry?) but fil isn’t as flamboyant as brad ha. anyway YOU’RE WELCOME TIMES A THOUSAND BRAD.

i was afraid to take a picture of this guy he just seems kinda tough ass. i mean you’d gotta be with a hairdo like that no? i like to think he’d be into the notebook and scrapbooking maybe.

so we’ve had a lousy couple of days in these parts, the icing on top of which fil’s bicycle was fucking stolen yesterday. haitham the little angel that he is on the spot orders us up some jagermonster shots. wuh-oh.

ugh i hate this shit so much.

the nite’s events are about to change dramatically.

here we go.

oh man my stomach just flip flopped looking at this one.

exactly.

brad looks like frankenstein here.

YUM!!!! there you go make it your desktop wallpaper!

check fil’s flawless nose which is actually bright red with a rudolph zit on the end. i did a good job with the makeup no? today he’s even redder as he took a stroll while i was having my hair done, it’s the native in him, he could just think about the sun and turn lobster.

hanging on for dear fucking life.

see the bullet necklace take care of it guy, that’s been in my possession since i thiefed it off my brother when i was 17. BURN!

sorry bro.

then us three jagermonsters went to some douchehole on richmond called toiko? toika? whatever it’s where ex-ravers go to feel safe and E-out hard to strobe lights and shitty music. amy was there for some reunion and brosz7 decided it was a smart call to inform her she looked like a hooker. what a total moron that guy is, no filter whatsoever once he’s tanked. he’d probably tell you his credit card number.

then he does another shot in this rip-off sized glass. then fil and i bailed cos i got the hiccups and wanted to eat all the chinese food in the world but settled on tv dinners and muriel’s wedding instead and i woke up today wanting to diiiiie but i’m all good now i love you world!

this saved my ass today. vanilla soy is delicious. where does it place in fat comparison to dairy milk, is it 1% or higher?

dinner last nite, sundried tomato cheese filled whatever those things are, with left over rotisserie chicken, mesclun greens and this amazing spinach basil cream sauce fil’s mom made. fab-you-lous.

LOVE this song tons. know who also loves this song tons? JAGERMEISTER.

groupie sluts 101.

amazing ride surreptitiously parked out front of the bovine, awesome flat black paint finish. pompadour bad ass greaser owner wouldn’t let me take his picture on it though.

so settle on this american graffiti homage instead.

TIME FOR BED SUSAN.

then we went to swiss chalet?

balcony coors light time happy saturday amigettes!

good afternoon.

i am happy to report that i have finally deuced.

fil claims not to know how to make wraps with the rice paper (guys are so full of shit) so i forced him to watch me do it.

this part is super important while waiting for the rice paper to absorb water from the damp towel.

ready to go bonus gross work out hair.

smear a little glob of super light philly cream cheese then throw on some mesclun.

throw in your filler (ours was rotisserie chicken with peppers, onions tomato zucchini zzzz etc)

add salsa. i swabbed the stove after all this was done, another thing fil claims not to know how to do so we go days and days with a messy stove before i finally give in. ugh MEN.

fil goes and you have to do that for each one? no dude, that’s when a magical fairy comes in and takes over YES HOW DID YOU THINK THOSE WRAPS WERE GETTING WRAPPED BEFORE!? so now he knows and has a much stronger appreciation for my culinary slavery.

and this piece of shit bit me on the forehead last nite.

this one’s a good one as nothing touches my hands meaning, someone else is mailing it ensuring you get it before 2010. anyway the prize is sweet, remember when i received all that harajuku perfume, samples, swag, purse, charm bracelet, etc and i selected a bottle of my favourite character? well YOU can get EVERY harajuku character/scent plus a bunch of swag too AND I DON’T GET ANYTHING!

so what do you have to do to win this shit? i’ve decided the competition will be who can take the cutest photo ever and i’ll give you two weeks to do it by. i will also be posting every photo as they come in then pool them all together in a post keeping my favourite picks to myself and will also be needing the rest of yous to help judge/critique each one so you know i didn’t cheat and pick an unworthy of cuteness photo.

requirements: be creative and simple, unique, think whimsically cute like a scarf blowing in the wind, emo almost. no babies, i mean fine send in a photo of a baby but you’re the only one who thinks it’s cute, therefore no win. pets are fine but that’s being lazy and also kind of in the baby department too. unless that pet is one of those japanese freak teeny tiny dwarf somethings with HUGE eyes, don’t bother. here is an example in my opinion of what a cute picture embodies:

there, top that and good luck. do you see what i’m saying? think cherry blossom girl style or inanimate objects in the vein of martha stewart, pretentious, rustic, homely, CUTE CUTE CUTE. now you can TAKE a cute photo or you can FIND one but if it’s found you must name the source. higher points go to those who take/create the photo/image themselves. this contest is open to those living in canada only (everyone else can help decide though too). or not whatever.

for more info you can check out hlcontests.ca and if you want you can host your own damn contest too.

xoxo good luck wieners!

send to raymi@raymitheminx.com subject line: CUTEST PHOTO EVER.

all of these could be yours. the holidays are just around the corner ya cheapskates!

ps. you can submit as many times as you like and as many pictures as you like too.

pfft and they call us cold.

guess what i joined a gym today and this is what i’m going to look like so you better get used to it here start now!

ew.

i told the trainer i want to look like madonna in the hung up video.

dude said basically we have to work our asses off to look like that as we are already skinny and toned weaklings, 90% of it is diet (groan) 10% is working out (cardio, strength training) so whatever madonna was doing to achieve that sick bod during the dancefloor confessions tour i NEED to know cos the only way i know how to look like this is by losing my fucking mind again (weed, mania, no thank you) i also promised myself one nite wasted in bed (when fil was already passed out) watching the confessions concert on tv that i would get that body. you can do it by just starving yourself away but then you can’t defend yourself in a fight or do anything active ever, you’re basically completely useless and old looking OR you can get off your ass and get in shape and look younger also maybe become a showgirl, who knows, you know? i have the best epiphanies wasted in bed, like exclusive intelligence, an infomercial could change my stupid life at 2 in the morning.

and now i have a date with everybody loves raymond, some sake, then big brother.

ps. the work out stripper was there again today (britt saw her tuesday as well) and i was THIS CLOSE to asking her if she wanted me to spot her. oh man so glad i didn’t now. thank god. can you imagine how awkward every gym experience following that would be if she said no? it would be like seinfeld, so costanza, FUCK THAT THERE IS NO WAY I AM JOINING THIS GYM.

seriously when am i going to crap what is wrong with me it’s been since saturday. probably the lack of carbs i feel like, ugh fuck, it is basically ALL i can think about or talk about like that constipation commercial, so true. i thought today for sure would have been the day, hangover crap style but i think sleeping in then working out cut it off, psychosomatic-like. shit goes down at the precise time here on the regular and if i leave the house before that time i’m SOL til the next day.

here’s what ‘waywardson’ a regular commenter on my flickr photos has to say about the above picture of me wow, a wonderful Portrai of a wonderful Lady, wish you an great Day

oh and while on the egotistical express here’s another loved-up message:

I have been reading your blog all day and must say it has never looked so good and I really hope you never stop blogging, your blog is like a much needed island vacation, minus the sunburn, the sand penis in your togs and the dissapointing customer service. Congratulations on your win in the weblog awards, it is well deserved and I hope you enter again this year. I really think the new layout has made your overall brand much more polished without the pretentious bullshit dialogue that normally accompanies such “hipster” looking blogs. You are so awesome, never doubt it, you are the real deal. Always been a fan, always will.

HG

ahh i love that shit.

BYE!

oh these old things.

who’s your casual friend?

standing in a sewer drain. hot.

sharing a giggle over someone’s little (loud comical) tumble over a bike last nite no time for details.

i am gargantuan beside britt, i’m like two people, gladiator amazon.

i wish (no i don’t) they all could be california girls.

noah (lead singer of hhead remember them!?) was wondering why i was such a popular blogger. britt scoffed THAT’S WHY! ha.

that’s noah now sans grunge hair. funny ass dude.

oh wendi.

after my cray cray appointment yesterday i met up with fil to walk him and my bike home, so irritating getting over to yonge that time of day i want to murder everyone a fucking ttc BUS tried to outrun me even though i was going along just fine ahead i yielded you stupid bitch but nooooo has to show off to the world they can outrun some chick on a bicycle, cool story winner. almost had some blood on your hands there shitface. anyway point being, einstein pub’s wings are really good.

now i have to work out with a personal trainer and let him smell my amazing aroma of booze sweat fumes (not even gonna shower) and then play coy when he tries to sign me up to the gym. yesterday someone called from the fitness club and was like I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU on my voicemail so creepy. after that hopefully i can sneak in a hair appointment with rose to touch up some dark patches and maybe add more light blond.

this morning my hangover and i were gifted to the sweet melody of fire alarm testing at 8am and it’s still going strong what the shit guys i think they work, relax. on top of that air show practice, fighter jet sonic booms blasting overhead great for the ole anxiety.

also hopefully i can convince shoppers to take back some liquid concealer i bought in a shade too dark, it was the same number as a shade i’ve been using only i didn’t notice the HONEY nude, mine is LIGHT nude and i’ve also been mixing it with an even lighter shade cos the first one i bought was even too dark. switching styles of makeup in the beginning stages is a super hassle. crossing fingers they’ll do it and use the open one as a tester for trade.

it’s true. i even took down some notes last nite just to expose this disgusting horrendous affront to my fellow bitches on the ole blog today. i know, it’s because i care. you don’t have to thank me all at once.

anyway, fil ripped one and i felt it big time from the other side of the couch and i was like wow that was mega extreme and he goes well it’s supposed to be cos i’m a man. oh really now? so are my farts supposed to be whimsical little music notes cos i’m a chick? who decided men are supposed to blast roofs off and women aren’t? how long have we been suppressing our solid ass explosions for (YEARS) because we aren’t supposed to do that and because we are “ladies” holy stupid taboo. we have the same parts (save for genitals) yet biologically, apparently ours don’t work like yours (dudes) do?

enough already, i’m sick of this same old tired charade, pretending to be all demure and polite because that’s how nana does it. for a woman to even conceive of farting it’s just “not allowed.” here’s another thing fil said, “i feel like i’m hanging out with a gross boy” after i let one fly ok fine yeah fil isn’t a sexist pig but i get where he’s coming from, it’s ingrained in all of us to see it this way. i dunno why but it’s just extra disgusting when a woman farts. like a clown crying. one extreme to another etcetera.

my mother kept hers to herself throughout my parents’ entire marriage together no wonder she was so fucking wound up (she let them go in front of me though and once in awhile accidentally in front of my brother then denied it like crazy) and whatever OOOH NO DON’T EVEN WRITE ABOUT ME FARTING get over it. mom guy, you fart. unless there is something physically wrong with you, you DON’T. so stop pretending this is breakfast at tiffany’s i totally just heard you blast a hole through the wall when you were folding laundry there nice try.

i am also sick of farting in front of friends and them having the nerve to act like i didn’t just eek one out (ps mine don’t smell they’re just wicked loud like, shockingly) HELLO yes that earth shattering deep baritone eruption was me don’t all of a sudden get busy with that napkin in your hands i KNOW you heard that. this is especially annoying with new friends too. everyone’s pretending to have manners. BORING.

when fil and i started dating i was the first one to fart (massively) which set the tone (haha GET IT!) opening the fart floodgates but before that he endured a fartless 7 year relationship can you believe it? not possible. i think i tried that with my first boyfriend, attempting to silence huge rippers that take like ten minutes (longest minutes of your life) to get out, so uncomfortable on multiple levels. dude KNOWS you’re farting, you’re not invisible, the expression on your face shows it all, your one word responses all of a sudden, yeah, so farting. you end up torturing that person with your inability to just let it out freely you fucking control nazi way to go.

ok i’m done i just wanted to point out that sexism is STILL and likely always will be hugely present in terms of women farting, it’s super annoying (especially when some fat disgusting slob opens his mouth about it) and i wish would just go away.

it just pisses me off listening to my brother and dad cut them like crazy then it’s my turn and they are like straight up EW about it. you guys are grossing me out over here and have the audacity to be offended by my one little addition to the party. total hypocrites.

also i will lose my mind if i don’t crap today.

oh and check out the banner i made for alicia! ms paint SKILLS!

once i discovered this flamboro downs vision of a hat i wore it the rest of the weekend.

first and only sigh in this post take it in.

what’s up?

not much who’s your friend?

get out much 1981?

MARTHA WUZ HERE!

barf.

barf.

total barf. just kidding you guys i took 50 pictures of this little pocket. wait til i reveal it bathed in sunbeams get ready to DIE.

hey.

thank you for cutting my head off asshole.

hmm actually maybe it was for the best.

barf.

yes it was pretty (refreshingly)(oh relax big mouth) quiet without brosz7 around. we were getting his drunk updates over the wire from another cottage he was at.

barf.

super barf. ok that joke is old now i’ll stop.

DEEP.

sage is the best. most funny when she jumps over the canoe all sloppy to get in the water and the canoe wobble knocks around all against the dock.

wiley has a thousand different faces. i mean, that’s what i hear anyway.

coming to you on a christmas card very soon.

looks a little gross eh. kinda scant on the condiments for dressing. this is trout. tastes exactly like salmon. maybe the geniuses at the supermarket fucked it up?

a new addition.

rifle o’clock it’s hunting time!

more like fire o’clock guys what’s wrong with me what’s with the commentary over here right now i feel like i’m hosting a game show no one watches. i’ll just run with it.

oh you again thought i’d see you around here.

trend setter!

i am into that money style printed dishware, you know what i’m saying? me either. the important thing though is at least i know how i feel.

this sort of grossed me out and made me laugh. success.

something having to do with that eyeball lookin’ at me no matter where i am in the room also maybe the rockstar vodkas ten thousand of ‘em and all the candy.

time to get wacky.

now that is gross. wiley bit at his belly and legs all weekend long, mosquito bites, he’s all raw and red, gives you full body goosebumps just watching it go down.

sage the martyr.

oh man i just realised halloween is just around the corner.

why are guys’ heads so giant? rhetorical don’t answer that!

you totally forgot you ate asparagus then are gifted with a blatant reminder an hour later in the john. sick.

ha ha wiley.

not gonna sigh.

ok sure i’ll have one of these.

then i had two new friends.

ha ha sage so manipulative.

HAHAHHA

showin’ off the epitome of trashed out hair pulled through without a ponytail holder. fil claimed he and steve used to wear their long hair like that all the time.

EWWWWWWWWWWW!

fil is super lucky we never met back then even though i’d have been 13 omg do you guys think i’d have a chance?

i snagged that lure on a rock on my first cast SORRY DAVE!

well maybe it was my second cast. either way it still sucked. after that dave gave me a shitty worm floater.

feelin’ this look pretty bad.

then the sky got really black, couldn’t capture it very good on my camera.

sorry!

hahaha sexy. we didn’t catch anything.

i love that little pilgrim house across the water.

these SO are good and fruity. the box doesn’t lie!

guys lets watch snl!

fancy.

ok this was long here’s a video goodnite.

this weekend i felt like i ate like a total pig, so much candy and chips and was not looking forward to weighing myself when we got home. shocked to see no change. maybe it was the trout? anyway who cares. had a great workout with britt yesterday at her gym, going again thursday for a consultation with a trainer. i might join the gym, seems pretty cheap. oh and there was a stripper with huge fake tits working out in the weight room with us, very entertaining.