another britt dress. girl has two tupperware bins full of stuff, american thrills we can’t get here and she’s mulling over selling them online or wherever. i guess prepare for more me in dresses photos.

incidentally, fil hates this dress so i had to secretly wear it yesterday when he wasn’t around. what’s not to like? the pile of ruffles adorning the chest and shoulders? or the classic mom arms sleeve cut? precious.

oh shit here we go.

WIENER!

nice thigh bruise, it just gets uglier and uglier.

you can tie it in the front or in the back. probably in the back but i like it in the front cos i think it gives you more shape that way. makes you feel skinnay-er.

got to hear all about britt’s chin zit yesterday, do go on! i think it has its own postal code by now.

after bunging up our order by bringing us sushi (we ordered 2 sashimi deluxes) making us wait longer and prior to that explicitly saying NO seared tuna, they bring us seared tuna. they’re lucky they have the least fishiest tasting fish on the block. it’s true though, sushi/sashimi is the best laxative ever, read.

these flowers don’t even look real.

ahhhhhhh.

brad left britt flowers and that huge bear the other day. PUKEVILLE! it’s like that simpsons valentine’s day episode when apu was making all the springfield dudes look bad. (do you like how the only thing i have to compare real life/any experiences to is the simpsons?)

boner in the street dress just saying girls.

it’s a lot darker now, i took this tuesday and i just discovered a bruise on my ass. wicked. big brother on youtube in the background i have no idea why i’m so into those annoying turds, i spend way too much time thinking about them too i know! when i wake up or about to i’m going over all their stupid shit in my head, mulling over strategies, thinking about the jury house gaaaaaaaaaah can’t wait til it’s over.

ps. antm started, why do you think that jesus nut had to leave for “personal reasons” i mean which ones, being fucking insane, nervous breakdown?

also amazing is HAVIN A TIME oh god so many good lines.

donny dumphy rules thanks brad b’y!

ok so i don’t pluck my eyebrows, i shave those little bitches. i’ve been doing it years, it’s super easy and painless. all you do is use your boyfriend’s shaver, one that flexes, has a little spring to it so it curves to the roundness of your face. ghetto shavers are harder to work with, also, they ghetto. i do this every other day, sometimes i rough it and do it every third day cos that’s most fun to shave and easier to grab the stray stubbles, you know how shaving your armpits everyday is like impossible and pointless? anyway here’s a video showing how it’s done. remember to follow the shape of your brow UNDERNEATH (never shave on top, or pluck, you are asking for trouble if you ever remove hair from the top) trace along the brow like the arc of a rainbow while simultaneously pulling aside the upper eye fleshy skin park, making it easier to get at those hairs. enjoy! (enjoy me looking like rainman licking my dry lips in the beginning two seconds of this garbage).

i get eyebrow compliments lots so just figured i’d share the “secret”? my secret shame? how can it be shameful if the results are so increds? genetically i have great eyebrows, all i have to do is raze off the extra unwanted dudes growing in. who cares if it’s not the proper painful method. really, i’m the smart one here.

next i’ll show you how i shave my mustache! YEAH!

emo drive-in.

emo emo.

see how dead it was? long weekend maybe or just, no one cares in the city?

brewsky.

full moon.

zit nation.

is that called irony? probably not.

lets take a better look. i think it’s called FUNNY AT THE TIME.

oh whatever.

i love the toy museum section in the supermarket by dave’s cottage. nothing ever leaves the shelves.

think i’ll do all my christmas shopping here.

asshole cape for the president, dave’s childhood costume.

as if any of this could be in order.

oh sage.

both lovely and effective.

nose plugger.

somehow, total mystery, every bag of chips were annihilated on the first nite, well all the ones i wanted to plough through anyway.

paula abdul asshole hat upon closer inspection is more latoya jackson.

tons and tons and tons of photos of beer mountain’s evolution.

pineapple express fowl-up.

natural.

dave took my advice and claimed that jacket for himself.

not allowed to ride this thing due to “cottage politics” ugh.

so attractive.

fil’s new shirt, same design on the back. HOT.

whups i fucked up your line. sorry.

evidently i am pretty concerned about it.

what could you possibly be taking a picture of now?

good call.

who cast these people and styled them? a triangle?

yes this is like jenga, only shittier. the die was missing. i have no idea if it came first or jenga.

the guys sabotaged me, i go to all the trouble of digging that stupid game out from under the stairs, wiping the dust cobwebs and dead spiders off it and one round it’s toppled from their (purposeful) shoddy block placement yeah ok fine lets all go back to alienating me with your fucking mafia wars never-ending discussions instead. so fun!

and why is this hedgehog a slut? eyelashes, eyeshadow, really?

and who dismantled my geese orgy?

i tried, shit doesn’t fit me.

wildly hung. i got fil to get me breakfast to go and i ate it lying down in bed with my fingers on my pillow like a total champ. moments prior i was dreaming about eating waffles and blueberry sauce and butter and blam fil walks in the room with breakfast. hoovered!

i am a complete dough head today and i am now completely ravenous. i want to ski down a mountain of singapore vermicelli. the gym called me AGAIN, this time it was the owner’s assistant i’m like DUDE relax i’m comin’ in tomorrow when i work out i’ll give you the fucking thing he’s all (euro) really for appointment? i say what? he goes you’re already a member? YES GREAT BUSINESS ETHICS! why don’t these scientists harass britt as much as they’re harassing me i swear, they call me more than anyone and no i am not flattered. dealing with someone who’s kinda stupid when you’re feeling really stupid (hung) yourself is exhausting. anyway i’m getting a bunch of weekly passes to hand around so let me know if you feel like susan powdering it with me for a few and maybe joining my gym so then i can save money off my monthly fee, then you can and on and on the end I’M STARVING LETS GO FIL!

goodbye tan.

i am a winner.

and what do winners do? they win.

life is good right now.

so i passed out in the car with caked on blood. wicked. wait’ll you see my thighs and knees.

just before it happened.

ok now wash your eyes out here use this.

and this.

this too.

the owner of my gym is getting on my last nerve. i have to give them a void cheque so they can take my money every month, fine yeah i get that but why can’t they learn a little patience, i haven’t been to the burbs to retrieve the withdrawal form (same thing as void cheque) yet but will be in a couple hours, it was just the long weekend i’ve been busy ugh stop phoning!

+++

on october 10th i’m hosting a party with shake a tail so save that date. should it be cougar themed? anyway whatever come come come i have a secret message for all who confirm that they’re attending.

ps. only TWO people have sent in photos for my cutest photo contest, is there something wrong with you guys or something? just checking.

power cleansing my laptop battery something or other so hang tight chitlens! (fil put my battery in the freezer what huh?)

i totally bailed on the train track walk stand by me styles hahaha first thought a train was coming on our track (it wasn’t)(but a train WAS coming just on a different track) so i beat it down the side of the rocky track then later did a 360 flip tumble down the side just for fun? (i tripped) and completely scraped up my arms and knees, pictures to come. sober week!

I want to have New Friend.

so flattered that you thought of me!

나는 새로운 친구를 가지고 싶습니다.

uh?

And I want to know about other countries.

you are barkin’ up the wrong tree i know NOTHING about other countries.

그리고 다른 나라에 대해 알고 싶습니다.

come again?

I will have a great time with you.

hmmm enticing…

난 당신과 함께 멋진 시간을 가질 것입니다.

????????

We will be talking about is a lot.

we will be talking about is a lot what? we will be talking lots, like girlfriends or you talk too much? pass.

우리에 대해 많은 대화를 가지게 될 것입니다.

ugh.

I want to be a very special friend to you.

thanks again, really flattered but i don’t have room in my life right now for more people.

난 당신의 매우 특별한 친구가 되고 싶습니다.

Let’s learn about each other!

guy just read my blog!

서로에 대해 배우도록 해요!

seriously what are these characters and who can even read them?

If you have the courage, you to contact me first.

look idiot YOU contacted ME first. you already made the contact i thought asians were supposed to be super smart.

만약 당신이 용기를 가지고 있다면, 나에게 먼저 연락 주세요.

From. JeeNee

one point for the dope name.

THIS IS GOING TO BE ME IN TWO MINUTES!

except in a bikini doing laps in the lake YES!

if you want to get dave to play one more round of lord of the rings monopoly with you all you have to do is roll him a huge spliff from his roach collection. can’t help it man i was desperate. sickitating i know.

oh yeah saw inglorius basterds at the cherry beach drive in last nite, great flick. didn’t stick around for halloween II though. that drive in is sweet but it’s a bit of a hike to the bathroom and kinda scary too. it wasn’t packed at all when we showed up (in fact we thought it was closed) and the lot was empty. totally different scene than the 5 drive-in, less funnies to ogle, more urban lame normies. oh and they check your car for brews so be careful, we stashed ours in our pillow cases and laid them down in the backseat, heart was racing like a motherfucker felt like going through customs i was acting all hyperly casual as in completely UNcasual dead giveaway but we made it huzzah.

bye jeenees!

so glad i joined a gym.

jazzed!

oh god yes.

oh god yes!