hey guys don’t forget i am cool ok

cos i am!

two doctor appointments in one day what fun! this is at the dermatologist for my second shoulder cyst laser blast/injection (of cortisone) and as he’s putting it in he says if this doesn’t work come back for another stronger kind. guy, why can’t you just do the stronger one now? oh right, you want more of my money of course. annoying. this is clearly the recovery room after tummy tucks and lypo and lifts, why else would it have a full length mirror?

my cyst doesn’t look bruised at all unlike the first time, they went soft on me purposely. i was pretty late for the appointment too cos my family doctor across town was late and then i had to sit for an hour on top of that for my turn despite being there for 1.5 hours.

meh anyway today’s a friday blap blap!

i forgot about that shirt, well it was on my mind recently like what the hell happened to it i mst have given it away but then it turned up at the bottom of my side dresser beneath it on the floor all dust-ridden. power of the mind, folks.

Go liGhtly from the ledGe babe

i wanted to wear something more ridiculous to freak out the squares but last minute decided to play it safe. next time, next time.

i had to make some minor (and way necessary) adjustments to this card.

he can give this to his daughter, or eat them whatever i bet they taste like garbage.

i gave him some kenneth cole cologne – passin’ on the free!

my brother and i had this as teenagers, it disappeared along the way, i found it for 2.99 at bmv a year or so ago and decided to pass it on. my brother is currently into re-collecting all the shit he pawned off for um, moonpies and penny whistles.

i guess you can say my drawing style is somewhat like judge’s. crappy sloppy on purpose, but gets the point across.

haha they might have a chance if the grass was sleeping.

i will reference insect court ’til the end of the earth. that butterfly is guilty of bike theft for landing on beavis’ seat.

haha nice one too bad wine isn’t carbonated, thanks for the glass of gingerale.

aw mocha (our family cat for 14 years) sniff.

broskies.

hey party demons!

papa’s snooker buddies were sitting at the table across from ours, when he strolled on in their eyes bugged out and one said we were wondering why you had all these girls huggin’ and kissin’ you. haha old people humour.

meh.

is this smiling with my eyes, tyrant?

bad hair day/ jays home opener

fuck it it’s a hat day.

that guy loved me. and you. if you don’t like me or the camera why are you looking directly into it? yes i understand the concept of stink-eye but now you are on the internet.

before all that at the skid bar, favourite people watching post. we even saw wayne go by (classic ICE COLD BEER seller, was fired last year for serving someone who looked under 25, didn’t card him. natch).

fil looks naked here.

pitt’s a full-fledged d-bag now hey. cigars? really? how is it being a cuban any sort of excuse? that’s the same IT’S VINTAGE justification fur jacket dinks give you.

if you were there what was this all about? we rolled in just as this was speeding away (slowly).

i had this in my sights lined-up real nice and then the little girl looks up at me (not that little at all actually if you get my drift and you probably don’t cos you are a vindictive asshole) gets scared i say oh just taking a picture of your balloon then she cock-blocks it wtf little girl i have feelings!

no that’s not the big J on fil’s shirt, layne staley drew it, yes it’s likely a depiction of jesus but more importantly who cares?

i have this annoying routine – grow nails out, apply polish, let it chip, rip off nails, start over.

haha hi chick.

michel and his banker buddy were told straight off the bat to SIT DOWN with boatloads of ‘tude from behind us which is a big mistake with these guys as it provided them with immature fodder for the rest of the game. every time someone stood up they’d obnoxiously mockingly whine SIIIIT DOWN ugh. we were even given our own special extra security to sit on the step beside our row. not even kidding. pitt said i have turned 35 over nite cos i was tsking my balls off. yeah i need to lighten up i guess.

well to be fair at one point i wandered off and bought a t-shirt for myself and fil (he returned his) that’s when you know i’m ripped (at a show, anywhere), i go buy expensive merchandise i don’t even want then i come back all proud feeling like i did the most generous thing ever here you go a shirt you didn’t ask for i love you.

i feel like this right now minus the forced jaw-grinding smile.

watch out king shit is here give some respect man that is one genuine, real deal, old school fan and that’s not even his seat he just plowed on down and sat for an inning, no biggie.

flattering.

yeah yeah you get it.

howling hour at casey’s and my sweater matches the seat. they were not expecting the stampede of post game attendees. pitt had words with our waiter, i will leave it at that.

pornado topato. actually, tornado potato. there was no actual tornado this time around, just a bunch of chips thrown together in a big mess, and the dipping sauce wasn’t disgusting but it wasn’t not disgusting. i remember it being better last time though i might be referencing the onion dip from reposado.

here come a bunch of unnecessary shots of me figuring out a hat and my head, hair. complicated, apparently.

skid shirt i forgot about.

i didn’t even know there was a butterfly on it until i took this way flattering picture.

i did a bunch of arm exercises yesterday my brain is so frazzled right now i can’t even think of the word for them.

12-5 we did it, good game.

cute post on a not cute day

first stop, cupcake land.

saw these guys already, still can’t get over ‘em.

that guy turned away cos he didn’t want evidence of him sitting in front of the least testosteroney store evs.

back to pocky store now and me trying to look as bitchy as possible. ha, “trying”.

ridic.

see, there they go with the gratuitous smiling again.

i feel you guy.

hey milk jug what’s up? oh not much, not much you know just juggin’.

AGHHH! they ain’t ringolos unless you crap your pants.

my favourite bin.

that bear obviously had a stroke.

bought this.

i don’t think that grin is genuine yellow bear, lookin’ a bit fruit-ay there.

that is one gay baby.

these guys are the chickens you’re gonna put in your soup oh and that’s the dude who slaughtered them. oh wait sorry these are the sluts who laid your eggs, why do i need to see a picture of the farmer though so, necessary? (don’t worry i actually appreciate it i think a lot of people who read my blog need a good lesson in satire) can i see what his car looks like too? thank you.

get over yourself calbee, not buyin’ it or you.

you’re one of the stupid assholes that came out of a mystery box i bought, nice mystery thanks. (i gave it to brad hahaa)

YUM! nothing quenches a pms salt craving like chips that taste like lemons.

bet your ass i bought this and got that bear whom suffered a stroke.

was crunchy taken or was the translator out takin’ a wizz or something?

no idea.

cooking with mama, literally.

hahahhaahot.

nicely worn in there guy. these aren’t actually porn, but comics. what a tease. matt told me their name, i forget.

i need this.

take this package of ramen and bring it to a chef?

dude, you are annoying that cat and the entire fucking neighbourhood.

mmmm? has anyone tried these?

xiaxue girls.

here’s some of my mom’s pics from yesterday.

see how badly i need to get another sweater just like that in grey/brown…etc.

so glad i wore a tent yesterday.

oh and pete took this.

in walked the sheriff from Jericho Hill

thanks allison <3!

took’er easy yesterday, grocery shopping, rented milk (fabulous, deep, intense, inspiring, i bawled my eyes out) and watched seth rogen on SNL (bad bad bad guy, stick to movies)(put me in one).

ssssalmon.

how insecure are you, third change now? fourth? you better get it right this time you are gettin’ on my nerves.

we made too much. one of these guys is wrapped up in the fridge right now.

epic caesar salad time. forgot the croutons. meh.

separate bowls, no sharing here.

sorry for the boring nothing post, just an in-betweener – on my way to postsecret to select some wieners. check ya later.

my impression of brosz7kowski

i am even holding a can of strongbow to complete the effect. i wish i could nail his laugh better though, i will work on that. i should have said dude more, swore at least once, and somehow glazed my eyes over.


my impression of brosz7kowski from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

i tried to get matt to do an impression of me after, but he sucked he’s like HI I’M LAUREN AND I HAVE A BLOG. haha lame.

i am jealous of dave’s nervous breakdown white patch. it isn’t manic panic ravers, relax.

dave didn’t realise this was a “dare” he just thought i was a fucking idiot. nice.

burn.

burn.

matt knocked it over twice before he left after talking straight mad shit about the dare aspect of the game. thanks man ya fuckin’ wimp.

don’t do drugs kids! (seriously you are annoying when you’re high)(most of you) i offer to roll dope because i miss it. yes i am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in pure utter bullshit. thanks for tuning in!

it turned out shitty anyway i think. not my fault, it was sticky.

i’m using a pretzel to make room for the filter i forgot to make.

fil suggested i not post these, could be damaging. uhh i’m already damaged. merkley says did it damage woody harrelson or bob marley? good point. i think this could actually benefit my career right? maybe like, give it the oomph it so desperately needs. i better be careful this shit might catch on.

seriously, does someone want this couch it has to be out of here by next saturday. best offer and it’s yours, before i put it on craigslist. just think of all the things that have taken place on this baby. err, or don’t actually. it’s perfect for when your dirtbag friend needs to crash, fil can stretch out on it comfortably and he’s 6’4 in fact it’s great for those sleeping on the couch nites when you get in a drunk fight with your signif. other – morning shame totally free of charge. think about it.

it’s 80 inches wide.