i saw a girl wearing flats yesterday WITHOUT SOCKS OR ANYTHING and a normal looking winter outfit, jeans jacket backpack etc but like satin joe fresh flats with porcelain veiny shocking white skin sticking out way too much so and i could tell in her face she was like woah, this was a bad idea. she was pullin’ some sort of robot hustle. in summation, yesterday was not at all warm enough for sockless flats.
oh and guess who is never having vodka shirley temples ever again?
JAJAJAJJAJA
the intensity of these shots will make more sense another day. oh but if you were wanting to road test a v shirley make sure you have a good base that does not primarily consist of HOT salami. sugar hangover plus fire bathroom trips ahh man, cool story. yesterday’s hair did not rule. it slayed actually.
my troll collection, i think i should have spent more time collecting friends, or better clothes back then.
when i cracked that it sounded like a gunshot, it startled the entire room.
watch out jerry lee i got your number, oh wait are you dead already? ok i just checked wikipedia, you are living on a ranch with your family right now. we’re cool.
one of us got totally lifted last nite while one of us did not. you can guess which one that was.
so the thing fil did was uhhm err, ride the gibson bus (awesome) to hamilton (um lesser so) to shoot (wicked for portfolio)….nickelback. i ducked out last minute. i thought it would be a good experience for the sake of um stories, but in the end reason prevailed and i passed. maybe next time. you know how i get moody the second i’m not enjoying myself so yeah all in all it was a good choice. matt and i played mariokart and gossiped then played katamari and gossiped and before we knew it his alcohol level fully eclipsed that of my own and i was feeling like an astrophysicist so it was time to pack’er in. we were going through butchie‘s archives and matt was laughing so hard he cried but was mostly disturbed, disgusted and confused. brilliant. oh yeah someone actually googled “brosz7kowski” to try and figure out who this fuckin’ joker is and it brought ‘em back here ahha burn.
brb buds.
me: someone googled ‘brosz7kowski’ to find out who you are
Matthew: haha
I wonder what comes up besides your site
me: well cos of the 7 nothing
it throws them off
ill link your blog to give them a break
Matthew: your site comes up and mine too
me: ahh
Matthew: haha what blog?
me: i mean yer site
yeah why dont u have a blog
Matthew: I dunno
I’d never write on it
me: lazy
but you have a million stories and you never shut up
Matthew: I’d be like phil and put something up like once a month
me: you of all people should have an online diarrhea
Matthew: but if I had a blog there would be less stories cause instead of doing cool things I’d be writing on it
I need a personal blogger, that’s it
me: you are wrong, writing does not hinder your big mouth at all, trust me, do i ever shut up?
Matthew: That’s not what I’m saying. I mean if I had a blog I would need time to write on it which would leave me less time to do stuff
me: excuses excuses
whatever
Matthew: Your blog is your job so you get to do stuff at night then during the day you can write
me: everyone would read it so you dont like attention and positive feedback whats that like
Matthew: I get lots of attention
me: dude in between rock band and waiting for people to come over to drink you can totally fire off a funny little anecdote
if you’re not too busy hanging ivy that is
Matthew: I got too many things I procrastinate on already
it would just be another addition to the pile
hahaha hanging ivy
Are you hung over?
me: not really are you hung
Matthew: nah, I’m fine
me: im shocked
Matthew: I was loaded, I’m fucking shocked too
6 tall cans plus one of your coronas
me: yeah you were slur central im surprised you didnt get hit by a car
oh man i love hurley but seriously they need to give him a new word he sounds like me.
also this is my next necklace, and there’s a mystery surprise one on the way too so excited. remember JaM Jewelry? well it’s called Le Petit Colis now (become a fan on facebook cos jane still has yet to make a site for her pieces this is a reminder nag) and it’s all still very pretty as hell.
ahh man the sun is blasting me in the face right now my lips feel like dried-up prunes also my arm is on fire. i am being blinded right now holy suntan booth winter sun is the craziest good thing i’m too lazy to just stand up and draw the curtains. *update: drew curtains, put on chapstick, we’re good now. brosz7kowski is coming over to get blasted with me tonite, i bailed on that totally unhip thing we were going to do so fil’s flyin’ solo. i’ll let him share it with you himself. also can you believe it is march already, i’m going to be 26 at the end of the month. yipes.
+++
a hilarious (to me at least) white trash conversation with brosz7kowski
Matthew: I need to spend my orgy of spending way mroe than I make
hahaha I meant “I need to stop”
me: ahhahaha
wtf
when do u want to come over
how cold is it
fuck im lazy
i have vodka and some wine but not much i think thats enough for me
if yr doing a booze run can u grab me something ill get u back
Matthew: Hey, so what’s the plan?
me: scroll back retard
come over whenever you want basically
Matthew: Cool, I’ll be there at 7
me: ok
are u going to the lcbo
Matthew: Yes
me: can u get me a beer
Matthew: Yes
me: what beer are u getting
i just want like a bottle of stella or something
also i have no cash on me so that will have to wait too hahaha (actually i do i just checked)
im a total winner today
Matthew: I’m in a meeting. I’ll talk when I get out
me: k
Matthew: so you just want one bottle?
me: maybe two to be safe
Matthew: so we are supposed to get blasted and you’re gonna drink a whopping 2 beers?
me: no those are my primers
Matthew: I’m assuming you’re going to drink the vodka and wine too?
me: i have vodka and a pinch of wine
yes duh
Matthew: aw good choice
me: then ill drink some turpentine
Matthew: I can’t wait for the hangover gchat conversation tomorrow
me: and have like seven tylenol 3s
Matthew: I have t4’s
I mix them in my vodka
me: oh man future brain is going to be rockin
bHAHAHA youre kidding right
Matthew: I’ve done it before
hahaha
me: man i want to see what my liver looks like
or yours
ha
Matthew: it’s best not to think about it
me: a nice long slow party death
not so bad
Matthew: I was talking to someone recently that if I won the lottery it would be the worst thing in the world for me because I’d be dead in a month
Kilos of coke for everyone!
hey, I don’t have to stop drinking ever cause I never have to go to work
I’ll just keep doing coke and speed to stay up and never sleep
me: hahahahahahahaha
hurley makes me paro of winning the lottery
so funny that scene, mom breaks ankle then house is on fire and the cops come and arrest him
Matthew: hahaha
trust me, my fears are more realisitic
me: there should be a spliced video of him saying dude
i think they must have spoofed him on SNL
Matthew: hahaha I bet it’s on youtube
there’s one thing on youtube of all of sawyer’s insults to him
me: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
im right!
Matthew: bahahahahahaha
me: im blogging it
Matthew: so 2 of those big bottles of stella I’m assuming?
me: no not big bottles haha
why dont u just get me a 6 of corona
Matthew: yeah get me 1, I mean 2, yeah 6 is good
hahaha
me: well we can share them i dont mind having extras laying around
feelin’ it, basically the outfit i already wear and get shit for anyway.
speaking of shit.
that was a pleasant stretch eh? ugh.
hi little friend.
oh look it’s a fence depicted from the perspective of an indie urbanite captured on digital camera uploaded to the internet website of a popular blogger lets take in the artistic expression now.
sweats are back ONLY if you look like this do not confuse this look with some juicy junksuit please thank you. haha junksuit.
yeah but you drive slower than my nana walks MOVE IT grandpa.
gorgeously high snow, beautiful home, what is this an ad for hot chocolate?
another magic pony find, if you make a wish and it comes true you colour in the blank eye, so you have three wishes. cute.
i have so many photos of this thing it’s retarded.
my mouth is watering right now like when bart sees the skeleton key to all the locks in springfield (that was on last nite).
sampson the heart stealer.
i know my slippers are fugly, they’re shearling-lined and great for after the shower, super comfy and give me more than an extra inch in height. i got them for free (they’re not cheap) and steph a pair too and also for my aunt (into hippie clogs) merry christmas. anyway, just explaining their constant re-appearance here and somewhat defending their honour. there’s some bullshit about them having a rocking-heel that supposedly tones your calves and thighs, not so sure about that but essentially these are meant for nurses and slobs like me.
wtf?
moosehead, i forget the back story i think it might be by the same artist who did all the toronto tourist moose statues.
love it.
aaaaaamazing onion torte.
washed out much, hilarious though is what’s goin’ on in the bg.
do you need some privacy?
d’awwww.
somewhat on the topic of long-haireds what was brought up in the comments of fil’s hair cut post, basically the icing on the cake of having mermaid hair is all the passive aggressive comments made IRL when having long hair is brought up, it’s super fun. shit like oh time for a trim, elusive catty digs. it’s tired, i’m tired of it, enough already. my long hair is none of your business and no i do not have extensions, how does it boggle you so the possibility that someone can put the work and effort into *gasp* growing long hair? uh sorry my hair is naturally fine and straight, big deal? maybe if it had more volume it’d be shorter and i could do more with it because i’ve done the short lesbian ‘dos, multiple versions thereof and trust me, it did not look hot. ps. nice mom hair, i refrain from making comments about your stupid streaks and layers why do you feel that it is alright to be so shitty to me? being your insecurity soundboard is annoying and predictable and get your goddamn hands out of my hair.
and another thing, i make one barely mean joke about whatever and receive so many shitty blog comments for it and yet for some reason it’s perfectly alright for you to constantly nitpick and analyze every little thing about me, where is the logic? stop harboring resentment for a one-liner i said two years ago (if i was a guy you wouldn’t give a fuck so drop the woman-hatin’) and stop pinpointing stupid things you petty little persons, move the fuck on and focus on your own shit. i’m ONE person, take some relax pills please. enough with the bitter essay-lengthed reactions to a story i told that ACTUALLY HAPPENED and get your head out of your ass, you do NOT know me, you read my blog obsessively, that does not mean you know my every waking thought and/or feeling, your trolling is unhealthy. i do not care what you think you have fantastically extrapolated or deduced from every post you’ve read here, listen, DON’T CARE so go tell it on the mountain. i know what i’m doing, thank you.
oh shit man just wait until you find out what we’re up to tonite, the amount of time it’s going to take racking back up the coolness points is going to be ridiculous.
it was a goofy looking hat anyway. bean’s lucky she is super cute. i’m not mad at all. renita felt pretty bad, i just found it hilarious.
she kept coming into the other room to visit me which is funny in hindsight like oh hi i just fucked up your hat and you don’t even know it yet.
much better. it hurt a LOT. the first time the hair was just sort of shaded, renita wanted to go darker, i gave in despite the phantom scratching pain i imagine is there sometimes. anyway, v pleased i manned up for it cos it looks way more punchy now.
just like new again.
hey can i be in your band i’m cool i swear.
renita’s cats are real chill and curious i wish cid wasn’t such a territorial mental case, i want like 50 pets.
just a slight hunch but i gather these people might be into LOTR.
here come 15 pictures of bean.
she’s a teacup brussels griffin.
there’s mom!
she’s kinda like a down syndrome-looking bat. adorable.
she also likes to walk around on her hind legs too and it just KILLS ME TO SEE IT.
hiya pals. finally having blythe touched up today, i’m nervous all over again. i wonder if i can have the underwear shaded to hot pink? is that too right now to do it? feh.
I am watching a movie at two in the morning and I just realized that you look like Milla Jovovich in Ultraviolet.
Oh coincidences, like mariachi bands playing at a funeral.
I know you sometimes enjoy making fun of postcards sent in to Postsecret, and thought that you might enjoy looking at this link, despite you probably having seen it already.
I thought I would also take this awkward moment to let you know how happy I am to have stumbled upon your blog about three years ago. It is probably one of the few websites I check daily, and is also one of my guilty pleasures. People always try and find some sort of significant way to write about themselves and what they do by attempting to intersperse it with poignant and life-revealing anecdotes. You jut cut right to the chase and share photos of what you ate last Tuesday alongside a story about how you got to hang out at a wedding with Spenny. That is the real formula to success.
Keep on bouncin’
-Chris
thanks a meel chris i had not seen that website it’s hilarious and i’ve gotten milla likeness comments before too maybe one day she will be my friend and i can tell her about how the messenger is to blame for the stupidest haircut i ever had in my life. love raymi.
ahhhhh home at last. killer weekend. hot tub under the stars in -20 degree temp. icicles in your hair so amazing, we had some moonshine too, ugh sick but then followed it up with a shot of whiskey more expensive than a leather jacket or something and today we did a 6km snow hike it was beautiful the dogs came too hyper spazzes ok time to catch up on mah electronic lifestyle now. oh yeah fil didn’t ride a horse.
