you guys are dicks

here are some other bloomers i bought from honest ed’s 6 years ago!

grow the fuck up.

and, well, if anyone cares i’m totally cultivating a 70s bush right now, it’s a self-sanctioned punishment to motivate me in becoming more of a skeleton via this no carbs thing, yesterday i finally trimmed at it but still man, it’s basically a jungle landing strip reminiscent of cocaine playboy era. holla.

ok soooooo SCOTTY CAPS LOCK just reminded to tell you about our jugo juice experience friday so here it is – lately it seems there’s been a slew of bad food experiences. sigh. ok so friday was weaselpalooza so we took the subway to union, i wanted there to be time to eat at marche then walk over to union then do the shortcut to the roundhouse, but there wasn’t so i caved and said fine i’ll get a wrap at jugo juice DESPITE being on a no carb thing, anyway, we order fil also gets a juice, we wait forever, the kids working are more focused on their cellphone music list selection than on my turkey wrap totally getting charred in the grill press, and another chick is chopping fruit. finally they pass it over, we take it to those stand up tables by cinnabon that are always filthy and i take the first bite and fil is mowing down on his half and then just after i declare how it has been a week since i have had carbs and am about to take my second bite, fil pulls this gigantic piece of parchment paper out of his throat so i say oh fuck THIS! slam my half into the box and his and the parchment paper and go back to jugo juice and say i want my money back, this is burnt AND there was this huge piece of paper in it! then they all take turns playing dumb, not speaking english and i wait at the head of the line calmly, but gradually fuming cos i’m starved and just totally frustrated by the one chick pointing at me to go to the line to complain cos she is chopping fruit and too busy to turn around and tap the other lady on her shoulder, the one who put the wrap in the grill to begin with. yeah parchment paper isn’t a big deal, i just know that once i tucked into my half more the other part of the paper woulda been in it. their attitudes pissed me right the fuck off.

oh and to top it off i think the girl in line behind me who i was forced to interrupt was a bartender at weaselpalooza at the wine table, looked like her, so all nite long i was wondering if it was her and felt embarrassed.

that is the jugo juice story.