before last nite i was completely ignorant to the possibility of DIFFERENT oysters (breeds? nationalities?) the fat ones are from ireland, the ones in the middle are your regular guys, and the little wieners back there are japanese, i forget the names of all of them.
we went to a gallery in the distillery to see an artist fil’s dad is a maje fan of.
after that we dropped in on my cousin’s bday party and fil said he felt like bill murray caught in a midlife crisis partying with young kids. there also was an older dude there playing the sax who actually won an oscar for something, what? what the f are you doing here dood? the polish brothers loved fil, on our way out i said to one hey you’re polish he’s like yeah why you know mark? no but i do know a shmata (shmah-tah) do you? (a rag, the ultimate insult to call a woman, worse than the C-word) he goes yeah my (his) mother’s a shmata! hahahaha aw man very respectful. then we left.
ok i was totally just going to write down all of your names and select two winners but then i found a new website and well then this happened:
these aren’t even remotely aesthetically pleasing and i’m sure van gogh and da vinci would totally be into this, no problem. man i love finding crazier than i am people on the internet so much. not unlike this new boyfriend of yours i just found.
OMG the squirrel is here finally eating the goldfish crackers i left out days ago cid is so pumped.
i forced them to invite us over for these guys. now we owe them jambalaya.
in case you forgot, i’m really fuckin’ funny. hysterical even.
check out that cave hair, bravo. tell it to take a bow steph. right now. cos you know it can.
my body language represents a person who is closed off. that’s something my mom would say, has said. steph why were you making me feel so uncomfortable like that?
WHAAAAAT THE HELL IS THAT OVER THERE IS THAT MY FERN!?
um, have you been misting it with windex?
it’s ok i’m not sad. you are its only chance at survival, THAT is the only sad part about it. jokes. it’s just “interesting” that all your other house plants are thriving all strong and healthy looking. stupid fern, i thought you were the plant for nerds as in no sunlight required.
all concerned parties are confidant fern will make it til spring. oh i’m just hamming it up i don’t really give too much a care about that plant, i’m just grateful it has a chance to make it back over here no thanks to cid I CAN’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE. fil gave me flowers once and i had to put them in the wine fridge. how romantic.
fil wore one of my hair clips last nite cos he was feeling eccentric.
i can’t wait til i grow up and start collecting whimsical adult things instead of strictly magic pony toys.
i’m not 100% certain but i think a hippie lives here. maybe. not sure entirely, but there is a strong possibility of it.
A+ vintage matches collection.
i pulled an annoying and ate mine bunless with a knife and fork. it was SO good. then we had seconds.
if you are wanting to leave you’re gonna have to DRAG ME OUT OF HERE.
fine then, bye. next time no hockey, girl tv ONLY. see yuh wouldn’t wanna be yuh! remind me to actually start saying that please, i think it will go over well. quite.
oh yeah i was feelin’ my eye makeup, no one noticed, or cared. i like how the orange of my hat really brings out the orange of my face makeup and newly tinted (jergen’s bronzing lotion) face, way to go flash.
my hair was also on the ball last nite, i got a new tip for growing out bangs to keep them swooped thanks to steph’s friend sarah, if you want to know it you have to email me cos you know, i don’t want this shit to spread. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
i love period movies, i fucking LUH UH UV them. loved marie antoinette so hard anyone own that baby wanting to come over and dazzle me with it be my guest. so, i got my way last nite and we watched the duchess, not so keen on the keira knightley (we’re just not supposed to like her, no reason why other than multiple ones) but you are forced to like her in this movie because she’s just so hard done by and her husband licks some serious taint. she’s a prisoner basically, a fashion icon, and there is one scene she gets blasted in and her wig catches fire. colour me won over. fil fell asleep a few times though. meh.
i was trying to figure out if this all took place before during or after marie antoinette times and who was the first noted icon, the similarities do not go unnoticed. anyway, here’s a slew of photos obvs.
oh and it’s official, her left eye is higher than her right.
i don’t care if you hate her don’t bore me with a long i hate keira knightley top ten reasons why list comment, i liked this movie, i liked her dresses and i like her skeleton in them. enjoy!
picklefry: ugh trying to find somewhere to watch the inauguration
me: u can come here but im not showering or changing out of my robe
picklefry: I’m at work dude
me: oh hahahahhahaha
picklefry: the tanning bed is louder than my laptop speakers
me: aww
picklefry: Wrestler commercial!
a new wonnnee
GOOSEBUMPSSSS
me: oooh
picklefry: I’m such a geeek
me: no
picklefry: actually yes
you watttchiiin?
me: yes
picklefry: are you watching CTV
cuz the wrestler commercial is on AGAIN
me: i was just crapping
picklefry: ugh great
“threats on obama”
me: where did u hear that
picklefry: the news
“there’s been a security alert”
me: i have cnn on
not saying that
picklefry: that’s shocking
me: they dont want to freak out the world?
picklefry: cnn loves to freak out the world
me: what station do u have that says there’s a threat
picklefry: ctv
it mentioned it briefly
but the security level is still only at yellow
me: ahh
picklefry: EFFING STREAMING VID IS FROZEN
me: aw
picklefry: aretha
“wow what a hat”
me: haha
picklefry: fucking newscasters
me: one of the daughters is scowling
the older one is smiling
picklefry: the lil one’s like “DAMN IT’S COLD”
me: where is oprah
picklefry: good question. where IS Oprah?
she’ll probs come out last – with pyro
me: hahaha
barack looks nervous scared
picklefry: I WAS JUST THINKING THAT
he looks so calm and stoic
whoa ppl are diggin Biden
wait til Obama comes – it’s going to be deafening
me: yep
picklefry: I’ve got goosebumps already
me: im nervous
picklefry: SHHH
STOP IT
me: im crying wow
picklefry: CRYING
hahaha
omg we are the same person
me: tears of awe
picklefry: goosebumps and tears
me: haha
i just saw a big woman mouth hallelujah jesus
picklefry: this speech is a bit awkward
like… wtf why do you have to say “the son of an african immigrant”
like fuck off
ugh AS IF GOD CARES THAT YOU ARE AMERICAN
SHUT UP
me: yeah ha
picklefry: did Bush hire you? fuckwit
me: who is this fat man
picklefry: A REVEREND
me: ha
nice hat aretha
picklefry: HAHA
HERE SHE COMES
GET READY YO
me: i would be sob crying
picklefry: if you were there?
oh man I’m going to cry when she sings
gooooosebumps
me: she already is
u must have a lag feed
i wonder what his daughters are thinking
picklefry: probably
she’s not that amazing today
I swear if someone comes to tan right now I will punch them
and someone totally is
AND SHE HAD THE NERVE TO ASK ME ABOUT LOTIONS
like CAN YOU NOT SEE WHAT I’M DOING?!
me: ahahahahhahahahahhaha
picklefry: “where were you when prez obama was inaugurated?”
“in a tanning bed”
KNOB
me: LOSER
picklefry: this music is pretty
me: so hes the prez already even tho he didnt do the thing
cos of the constitution law
picklefry: huh?
how so?
me: thats what cnn says
picklefry: what’s the law?
it happens as soon as yo yo ma hits the stage?
haha
me: on this date by noon whether he takes the oath or not hes already prez
theyre behind schedule
picklefry: well that’s anti-climactic
me: yeah
like the magic dust hit him in secret
his eyes are closed
he looks like a honky enjoying classical music in their den
picklefry: he always looks so good
OMG ANOTHER TANNER
ARE YOU FUCKING MAD
awe the cellist is so cute
HERE WE GO
OOOH HE BOTCHED IT
awe michelle is looking at him with such pride
CRYING
me: yeah i just stress ate 50 thousand spoonfuls of yogurt
picklefry: HAHAH
SPEEECH
I just took a pic of me tearing up
me: HA
wow
send
picklefry: the ppl are going to come out from tanning and I’m going to be sitting here sobbing
me: ignorant fucks
picklefry: omg car pulling in
IF IT IS A TANNER I WILL LOCK THE DOOR
me: turn off all the lights
picklefry: whoever this girl is she’s sitting in her car
me: listening to radio
picklefry: better be
slut.
me: im zoning in and out of this speech
picklefry: I’m fucking homicidal
two fucking assholes just walked in
and I had to go clean their beds
and miss half his fucking speech
me: its ok all the same crap
picklefry: dude
don’t say that
me: about what
take a chill
picklefry: obama
me: gay poem
oh about oppression of course
picklefry: whatever
omg I LIKE THIS REVERAND WAY BETTER
me: yeah he looks like a wizard
and is very tiny and cute
picklefry: he’s a lil sprite
me: ha
ha
picklefry: OMG ANOTHER TANNER
and he had the nerve to be like “watching the inauguration?”
I was like “attempting to, yes.”
haha
me: how did he take it
picklefry: I don’t think he got it
idiot
me: awesome
picklefry: GET YOUR ASS ON THAT HELICOPTER, BUSH!
“bye laura and georgie… promise to write!”
haha so weird
GOOD RIDDANCE
blue t-shirt cheated a lot and was a bit of a sore sport. we caught a lot of people cheating, i yelled at many. people would get tapped by the ball and spin around in a circle like they’re wearing an invisibility cloak then keep playing as if no one noticed YEAH I SAW YOU GET HIT YOU’RE OUT. so irritating. fil has a picture of blue shirt cheating too, over the line picking up a ball. haha.
total personal trainer, that chick can launch ‘em. i dodged ‘em all. her bf is the ringer i got out.
how many stink-eyes can you count?
kelowna the fairy.
dekel the unprepared guy, actually plays dodgeball, doesn’t bring any of his own props.
i spied my nerd glasses last minute on the way out, phewf, played in ‘em the entire time too.
my teammates, i imparted my amazing dodgeball wisdom on blondy and she actually went with it. don’t be over-zealous all the time, kinda lay back and let others get picked off, be invisible, cherry pick basically eat up time by dodging around.
so awesome.
corner right, the ringer, best player ever.
sitting here to watch was very thrilling and dangerous.
worst team photo ever much. next time i’ll prop it up on a crate i guess or maybe not be a wimp and ask someone to take it for us.
during a break we had chicken fries from kfc, ugh.
second place is alright i guess (SO ISN’T) fil noticed that i am way more competitive than he is, well yeah, there’s fun and there’s winning then there’s fun and losing, which do you prefer?
in our play-off game against these clowns (ha) i noticed they were playing the same dudes back to back to back, unfair, so i tried to rally my team to do the same but everyone felt douchey about that, so we lost. it was close.
paddy jane’s outfit was insane too bad i didn’t get a picture of it before she changed.
fil’s fam thought they’d sneak into the city to see his photos at the steam whistle without tellin’ this guy about it woah nice try there friend i’m not missin’ out on no free beers afternoon delight.
man what a lazy ass i haven’t even put up my pictures from the opening nite yet OR dodgeball pictures. oh man i gotta make this fast full house is on in a halfy!
raymi diet tip: yogurt + steamwhistle, works just like a fat pill if you know what i mean (i don’t).
i did the photobooth again but the pics came out so dark i don’t even think photoshop will be able to brighten them up, still going to try. i even got a fucking leg up almost over my shoulder too in a couple shots.
fil’s mom has weird shit in her purse, i’m always appreciative of that.
such a rip-off artist i breathed new life into that appleby scarf, I MY ME!
liquid lunch awright awright awright.
cola from a glass mmmmmmm.
skywalk from union dumps you out to the skydome/steamwhistle (tip for you un-informeds)
now for real lunch.
a cup for barfing the cute up into.
post lunch-rush, it’s cozy, like eating in a pod. not that i know what eating in a pod is like but yeah, it’s womb-like, if you have a better description by all means…
sharing is fun.
fil says the one on the right is for women cos we’re curvier (bigger asses) and the one on the left is dudes cos they have broader shoulders. holy stupid sexist big mouth! i liked the pee trickle best.
ok BYE!
oh right i went for a nice tan at my local, had to wait forever for the girl to give a spiel to a newbie, totally took her for a ride i was like uh can i just do 6 minutes on the super bed and pay after? she’s like why you in a hurry i’m like no i just don’t want to wait duh. then we talked about my tattoo afterward and she said it reminded her of bratz dolls (!) no i didn’t flip out on her i just said that barbie finally won their lawsuit against the guy who invented bratz who used to work for barbie then i had to explain how that would be like working for coke and then inventing a new product for pepsi while still working for coke then she said she has 4 nieces and has to tell them to be careful with their bratz dolls cos i told her they’re collector’s items now and they won’t fucking be making them anymore. no i didn’t swear it out like that i just wanted you to think i’m a tough guy.
best chocolate bar ever feel free to mail me some from the uk anyone.
oh god please date me let me put my penis in your vagina i’m so lonely please yes?
it worked!
it’s all happening.
shit yeah.
dirt off the shoulders and so on.
meanwhile over in useless mooch town, joey is pretending to busy himself with a large box while uncle jesse talks to a monkey.
kid, if i had a crystal ball and it showed me you’d some day have a billionaire empire i’d shoot myself in the head right now.
action shot.
hasslin’ the d man over his lack of game.
blink shot haha. well actually you free-loading tapered pants wearing fuckbags, it was she whom hit on me.
yup, it’s true. suck on that.
no friggin’ way tan-man.
but oh no, what am i going to tell those life-ruining twats who live upstairs? of course the useless grown men have zero advice on that front.
selfish bitch lends some honey-selling advice to stephanie.
my christian lunatic actor brother blessed this honey.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmeth.
action shot with baby, why wasn’t she just left downstairs with her two other dads? how necessary is she for this upcoming scene?
dad, how much profit can i expect to rake in from selling this stupid shit once we factor in bee troupe fees, uniform, travel expenses etc etc?
check the evil look on dj’s face you know it’s comin’ what a cunt. stephanie looked at the cue cards a lot during this part.
girls i’m going on a date.
uh oh cue sad music.
yes i still love your dead mother but she’s dead DEAD FOREVER NEVER COMING BACK SHE’S DUST MAN GET OVER IT!
yeah but still for no reason whatsoever other than my own selfishness i do not want you dating stamped it no erasies.
ok i can’t argue that.
what is that thing on stephanie’s overalls?
i’m still pissed at you for even considering dating another woman.
steph, you are supposed to be pissed off too.
cue temper tantrum. fuck this episode blew.
selfish bitch.
saying something cheeky and everybody laughs zzzz.
still doesn’t get it.
blink shot!
the stupid little bitch is finally happy cos she’s gotten her way.
fine i’ll just masturbate to your tiffany poster til my dick chafes off.
dialing up the trim to call it off while in the background joey is preparing for some sort of break and entering heist.
hey jess what were you two just doing down there alone together for so long? did joey watch you change?
and because these two tards evidently have nothing going on in their own lives they gotta eavesdrop in on danny’s shit.
yeah, you’re not allowed to be sore with him cos you didn’t help him break the news to the girls you dicks.
lay of the bugar sugar (ew sorry haha), saget.
dude, you have to call her back.
joey does some dumb impression to get the point across.
everybody laughs and all is understood.
or is it???
phewf, it is!
OH GREAT!
dad, because you tolerated our selfishness we are going to let you take us out for ice cream. seriously, that’s what they proposed, how totally generous and thoughtful of them!
thanks girls that was probably the nicest thing that ever happened to me.
sorry trim, everyone in my life is all up in my biz at the moment cos i’m a spineless dickless wimp.
DANNY NO!
then the geniuses finally decide to pull their weight.
except, this uberly simple and straightforward task is somehow the most complicated project ever.
here’s some of last nite’s vegetarian compost dinner (allison is veg).
controlling succubus is about to have her comeuppance.
danny finally takes back his power and remembers he’s in charge.
uhhm, whoever styled this shot is a total pedophile. why is stephanie sitting like that?
yes seriously i STILL love your mom blah bla hb albaalalbhablah
for reals she’d want you to be happy and move on and not die alone celibate forever?
aw look at the monkey.
nice.
this episode would have been way better if stephanie had more wardrobe changes.
bahaha.
it’s so weird seeing danny’s room.
nite house shot, also weird. isn’t it passed everyone’s bed time?
holla someone’s finally goin’ on a date! then there was a sequence of outfit changes styled by each goony roommate, didn’t bother capturing the rest this was more than enough. ugh.
i’m not a total loser the inaug. is on in the bg. WHERE IS OPRAH?!
