more like COOLEST TIME EVER LAST NITE pill. share your oops.ca ? haven’t checked that out yet assuming it’s a fucking goldmine though.

hey look it’s my i’m a 30-something teenager who sings about fighting highschool chicks outfit BANANAS YO!

did you see the interview on much when she said DON’T TALK TO THEM when the interviewer acknowledged the harajuku slaves? japan weeps for you. <3 you gwen!

wow, she looks happy.

my niece has some of these bratz dolls still in their packages hint manufacturers THUMBS DOWN. i made my barbies fuck the hell out of each other and they had noses ie. way less porno, these days, no noses equals hump city genitals tingling so appropriate for little girls.

HAHAHHA right!

because girls who play with barbies are totally encouraged to read. nice. like when barbie camp boasts how barbie has been an astronaut, a doctor, a vet, movie star, mother, race car driver pffft uhh ps. SHE’S A FUCKING DOLL!

look in her hand it’s not even a book it’s a fashion magazine ruin the world much?

oh perfect it’s a mohawk baby THANKS ANGELINA JOLIE!

don’t worry girls if you want a vacation from all that fashion you can just clean the house!

so much fun wheee look my dress has dragonflies on it beep beep watch out i’m sucking up valium.

thanks mom i’m that much closer to being as miserable as you are.

german, hmm, i’m so shocked.

even venom’s gotta spread it.

speechless, overwhelmed – look at those boots i partied in those when i was 18.

dear parents i am a rugmuncher and it is because of shit like this thank you for the xmas presents.

honestly, no nose? that was sexy for like two seconds and by the way you are meant for 6 year olds you are NOT my blog you gash station. dear bratz, thank you for terrorism.

is nothing sacred?

don’t worry sexual-orientation-confused sports dykes YOU TOO CAN BE SEXY!

*AND*

the piece du resistance:

wow for real!? a barely toddler on a phallic banana THAT ^%#^@% ROCKS!?!!??

fil pointed out her arm placed like that between her legs looks like a penis. whatever it looks like it is one thousand per cent above and beyond suggestive hi i’m cute can i sit on your rocking banana tee hee giggle daddy barf.

yeah yeah yeah barbie you are over the hill we’re into babies now.

ok for you cocklicks over at sooeys don’t blow your loads all in one go.

to: editor@efrank.ca

ps. ottawa, more like gayowa.

i met a guy named ART once at sauble beach i was a teenager and just getting into dressing slutty, he had curly blond longish wavy beach hair, he was not an artist, he was a stoner. thought you might like to know that. his parents must’ve been total assholes to name him that. if my name was art i would never stop punching myself. art art art ART art looking at myself in a bathroom mirror i would have so many identity issues like more than i already have.

if my name was art.

in frank magazine they referred to me as raymi “the minx” white. raymi white is such a gay name. i haven’t thrown the g-word out in a long time, sharpie lectured me about it once and since then i feel like it should only be used for emergencies like raymi white or ART emergencies. anyway frank magazine you did not ask permission to publish and distribute MY photograph and profit from it so you either owe me some dough or a link on your website and way to go choosing a nipple picture i cannot even brag about it to my nana now, thanks. where was i going with this oh yeah, i’m tired of the minx handle i don’t do much minxing these days only back when i was 16 17 18 fuck i could ruin some old men’s lives if i wanted to.

i’m going to dye my hair black tomorrow.

this is what happens when i do not have access to pictures and the posting of them, shitty posts.

+++

we are babysitting the dogs here in oakvegas fil’s parents are up north i just made crap and it didn’t flush then i sighed waited flushed again and it went down and then laughed for five minutes at the thought of past occurrences when you wait for it to go down then it doesn’t you get annoyed and leave it for a bit go on to do something else intending to go back and deal with it later 10 out of 10 times you always forget and then fil goes to use the bathroom and finds my surprise the end.

yes that’s where we are at right now at this moment 1.48pm my headspace is unreal.

wow check my funbags in that bottom picture boiiiiing.

i am at an internet cafe and i cannot comment on my own blog.

clara in response to your out of control comment,

THE REASON SHE WON’T ANSWER MY QUESTION IS SHE IS A SPOILED SNOT NOSED TRUST FUND BRAT WHO LIVES OFF HER MAN’S MONEY AND IN EXCHANGE SUCKS HIS DICK AND LIVES HAPPILY EVERY AFTER BECAUSE SHE IS A CUM GUZZLING HOOKER. BUT AT LEAST SHE IS GETTING PAID TO DO IT.
THAT IS ALL.
clara |

no, i do not have a trust fund i would love it if i did and would certainly lord it over your piece of shit face if it were so. no i do not live off of my boyfriend either, i never said that i did, and i am tired of people assuming that i do – i make my own fucking money i do not rely on a man’s paycheck, fil wouldn’t be with me if i was like that and probably couldn’t afford it. be realistic. i make money off of my art, i just sold a painting for $600 for example, i make money from ads on my blog and from my book and other ventures that aren’t your fucking business and would be unprofessional to mention on my piece of shit juvenile entertainment blog so blow me you cunt and keep reading my blog and jerking off to my boyfriend your life will never be anywhere as close to awesome as mine is. aimoo was making a joke about it in my comments because we were discussing people like you a few weeks back over drinks one nite, she was making FUN OF YOU you tool.

74.97.147.224

ps. you live in mississauga, have fun with that.

-your mother sucks cock in hell.

also, it shows how crazy people get with me here, at first it’s casual, subtle what do you do then zero to psycho if i don’t respond to a fucking question that is at base RUDE and ignorant to ask, i owe you people nothing, don’t ever forfuckinget that, everything i choose to share here is a gift, don’t piss me off.

did this for fil’s mom’s birthday, it’s remy, the oldest dog and i think the faved one.

and because i know you care:

what do you want to be when you grow up?

a whore like you

this store is called i forget but it’s beside the rivoli on queen, they change their display quite frequently and they always feature slutty little girl models my favourite to rip on.

i would wear that ‘kini. i’m going to show up to your party wearing a big hat like that and act like it isn’t a big deal.

nice try you are wearing that gypsy shawl to cover up razor burn i know this because i have a crystal ball.

when you’re done can you scrub the kitchen floor thanks.

i think you could be wearing more necklaces. go big lady.

your friend is REALLY short. anyway when i was younger that outfit was my fantasy dream outfit when i would go to bed at night i would picture myself wearing something like it and all these hot older dudes would be fighting over me i really wish i was lying about this.

i have bought this before and i did it again, it is the most undelicious thing ever, i gave the other half to a crazy homeless guy pushing a shopping cart on spadina circle i bet when he ate it he was like that fucking bitch!

+++

darian zam sent this in and titled it COPYING RAYMI:

haha “sent this in” like i am an office.

if someone can find a copy of frank magazine before i do please do there is apparently a photo of me topless in it, fil wants to know if it is one of his.

i just got my first pair of $300 pants from tnt ok they were 50% off but still, STILL! fil blew his top til we got home and he calculated our “the books” to see how in the black i am once and for all and then he apologized for being mean. the pants i bought the other day from h&m that i blew my mind over being some sizes smaller, welp, they are already too big for me, i told the chick uh i think i’m like such and such a size and she looked me up and down and said sorry no you’re not and threw a pile of small pants at me i hope all you cunts are crying at this post i hate you.

except for the cool ones.

that store completely overwhelms me in my head the whole time i was thinking ok they don’t WANT me to buy anything here they don’t want me to have skinny jeans that’s how severely neurotic i am.

fil didn’t end up getting anything (it was his idea to go there) so that he can continue to brag to me about the last time he bought clothes for himself which was like when dinosaurs existed uh dude that’s because you just got a 2000 dollar camera!

lets top this piece of shit off with how skinny i look today:

those are my diaper superhero underwears with now a massive hole in the back i will never give up, i get smaller and they get bigger fil has some underwears that are so repulsive they make my genitals wrinkle outside-in anyway i will wear those black underwears until they completely fall apart to spite him. i guess its time to clean the bathroom.

i explained to fil the reason girls have to shop every three seconds is because they are unhappy with their wardrobe, in short, themselves, and they are searching for the ultimate piece to unify everything, they cannot bring themselves to make that one big expensive purchase that would just thwart the urge to spend on many inexpensive things altogether, it is too much, buyer’s guilt, remorse etc. but if you just fucking do it once and for all then it makes all the shit you already own come together as one. we are always forever searching for the perfect pant, and when we get it, it is like falling bareback down a rainbow of dicks flying in your face and vag and the craziest earth-shattering explosive ‘gasm is at the bottom like when you have dream ‘gasms and you wake up and say to yourself i just blew my load infinity times in my dream, that’s what it feels like when you are alone in the changing room looking at your yet to be purchased purchase.

-mother theresa.

+++

why does it always rain on me pt. 1 i was dancing a lot so it’s kinda wobbly.

part 2 i passed it off to fil zoomed in so it’s blurry.

backstage fran lipping off a crew hag.

kind of need that BADLY.

what a treasure this place is forget what it’s called but it is essentially the only not chinese japanese italian restaurant on baldwin.

i had to beg fil to take my picture he didn’t feel like it so i gave him the ice queen until he realised he didn’t have to use flash, i had cramps.

chicken quesadilla despite ordering chorizo ate it anyway doesn’t it look like a pillsbury toaster strudel mmm i used to eat the shit out of those guys. another raymi diet tip is, order whatever the fuck you want and get your garbage disposal boyfriend to eat half of it say do you want the rest of this and they are so elated by the question they snatch it up before you change your mind and shove it in their maw and then you don’t have the option of eatfest 2007.

fil had chicken enchiladas.

porque?

oh. shocked.

taxi driver de niro?

i think stephen is psychotically in love with me what do you guys at the office think?

hi wendi. man i am just so fucking beautiful sometimes.

nice blue hair pfft way to clap there hombre.

radmad has a great story about fighting with the barmistress and almost being escorted out i hope she blogs about it so i can interject and rip on her.

kept fucking up this shot and these four perv dicks wearing their out on the town button down winners shirts were at the end of the bar gooning at us.

this is what our foyer looks like every morning.

same backroom when mg played koolhaus for a corporate gig. he was a surprise guest for all these people who completely went bananas for him and they were all in work attire.

super brand new facial expression.

haha dave blinking in the background BURN.

BIG ideas, man, HUGE. fran has my url written on that paper he did it himself i am a golden god you are not.

as we were leaving and fil was in the can dougie ran out and i am like you are awesome and he came over to say bye and radmad tried to hog him so i just shoved her the fuck away and got this picture, i won.

did we go home to do it or plough through a bag of microwave popcorn?

burn-out.

+++

thank you elizabeth for sending this.

we saw travis last nite it was beautiful and we got to meet them too don’t worry i didn’t say anything embarrassing other than i have the biggest blog in canada, fran was impressed with how long i’ve been blogging for and i told jian ghomeshi that he is on e talk daily, star tv and radmad said he was THE CATERER! well he told her that, she believed it. i gushed to travis that i saw them when i was 17 when the koolhaus was the warehouse, I I I ME ME ME got fil a photopass and we were going to trade it so i could go to the front lines for a bit but GUESS WHO STICKS IT TO THEIR FUCKING T-SHIRT!? fil isn’t even into travis, that would be like me getting to blow david suzuki and fil only gets to wave to him from across the street. stephen was a prick as usual, he lost it over some nigel guy i dunno radiohead big deal or something have you heard of this band called radiohead? wendi wasn’t boozing it FOR ONCE (heh), other dudes from sony bmg were there and they all got my autograph you’re welcome guys.

oh please, do, go on.

this is a little more accurate.

sorry the MOST HAIR IN THE WORLD!

that used to be a dress.

bla bla bla i love you i’m glad i didn’t share the story about getting a silk cut off one of them back in 2000 come to think of it that might’ve been off one of robbie williams’s band members pfft.

i am REALLY FUCKING ANGRY HERE fil had just informed me about sticking the photopass to his t-shirt i fucking knew it.

dude is in hell hey can you top up the carrots?

stephen’s dick is seeping, while me, a smart person, set my shit on attainable, more realistic goals.

more over on fil‘s flickr.