so i wore fat pants afterall, extremely important news update:
complete with cougar slut tattoo target.
this was my dinner:
that shit in the bottom left corner was not good, and the tofu was a bit thick, woulda been better if it was half the size, less weight and more flavour. that beet i was expecting to be pickled and not hard as hell to bite into. this cost 8 bucks. fil’s box was $16 the trick is to choose light things i guess. fil thinks he saved the planet cos he ate at the whole foods buffet, way to go dude. he asked me all sternly DO THEY RECYCLE THESE CONTAINERS? yes they do and if they didn’t who cares they are made out of recycled paper anyway jesus RELAX.
i can’t hang out with fil anymore he cock-blocks all my pictures and then takes a picture of the same thing but better cos his camera is infinity times more expensive than mine.
we are going to go for a walkies before ANTM we have to scout out this joint that needs to be hanged-in tomorrow (top secret) and we are going to eat at the yuppie supermarket i like the idea of being able to fill up a box with every fucking thing at the buffet and the cashier scans it and is like whatever to the inner-contents of the box i always feel pretty proud of myself in the way i arrange things in my buffet box. anyway i am debating wearing fat pants i think i can make it work cos my hair is in a ponytail and i didn’t shower oh now i remember why i bothered to write another fucking masterpiece today it’s because this is the first ponytail i have had in a loooong time and i have a headache because of it.
i want fil to get fat/jogging pants too so we can pretend to be university kids he said no i said fine be old. i need to have at least ONE walk out in public with someone else wearing fat pants so i can watch people’s faces when they look at me/us and make up things in my head about what they are thinking about me/us.
pitt and i show how it is done after drinking a thousand ballpark beers.
we are dancing to that drummer guy who is always outside the dome and sings LETS GO BLUE JAYS dramatic pause then drums some more, you’d think after maybe 15 years of doing this he would learn some more songs, no?
you are looking super beautiful these days. I love youre pale skin/dark hair look. You’re so lucky to have the amazing skin that you do. really. I watched shortbus yesterday. It was great. I couldn’t get it out of my head all day. I know you reviewed it a while ago but i can’t remember what you said about it. I love that feeling when you really connect with something, like a movie or a book or whatever. It’s the same thing, always, whether its someone you have a crush on, or a book you can’t stop reading, or a blog like yours that your really RELATE to on some crazy level, like it exisits in your own imagination and you can call it up in your head and there are smells and textures and you feel like its something real. It kind of reminded me of my trip to Beunos Aires, i remember you posted a pic of one of my friends from there, really gay and drunk and funny. I hope that someday you are able to get involved in a big project like that, not like that exactly, but something equally powerful. You have so much creative genius in you and one day this project is going to come along and its going to be YOUR contribution to the socical conciousness, not that you don’t make an impact already but it will reach such a vastly wider audience and it will keep ppl up at night. Your blog is almost like one of thos books already. Like i used to read when i was 12 and i didn’t want to stop reading even to eat dinner because i felt like the book would keep happening without me and i would miss something. A book in real time. In the way that you feel connected to the characters, but you don’t know all of the d etails of their lives. You know the main events, but stuff is glossed over, like how they brush and floss and pee and shower everymorning and eat two peices of toast with honey and an apple. But Instead of you writing all at once, or looking back, or making someting up, this blog-story of raymi is a massive, real-time monstrosity that allways exists in the readers imagination because it is always happening. I probably have a different perspective on this because i don’t have a blog or read many blogs or comment on blogs, so to most ppl the whole blog thing is interactive, but to me its not? No not true beacause here i am emailing… nevermind That made no sense and was a total side-track, but like i said, You look beautiful. In case you were wondering.
*Laura*
is it meth, crack, or the “new” crack? you be the judge.
fil is a lazy slob FIL I AM DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. he makes himself a snack and leaves everything out on the counter for days and because the magical kitchen fairy (ME!) takes care of it he thinks nothing of it. this here is chocolate shavings from an easter egg that have been hanging out on the counter since friday nite that the kitchen fairy (ME!) finally took care of yesterday morning. fil has no memory or frame of reference that they were ever even there.
EX!!PLOSION!
Phil: I WAS SAVING THEM FOR LATER me: ya right Phil: YOU OWE ME A HANDFUL OF CHOCOLATE SHAVINGS
everytime i bring up washing a dish and putting it away in the dishwasher post haste we get into a tiff and he says ok fine i will do it next time AND THEN HE DOESN’T. right now i am soaking THREE bowls in the sink cos he let them chill for a few days in the sink with cold water and no soap, he considers that soaking, and THEN put them in the dishwasher.
fil, if your method of soaking worked, tell me then, WHY after those bowls were put in the dishwasher are they still covered in soup sludge and black pepper?
signed, I WILL KILL YOU IF I EVER HAVE TO MENTION THIS AGAIN.
and cid backs me.
no more bonghits for cid, his snack attacking is something fierce.
did i use this picture on my blog already i forget
ok i am drinking espresso and we are cool with one another, phew. if i had to cut out caffeine entirely then i would have to cut out booze, and i am not ready to do that yet. cut down, yes, out, no. in the mornings pre-espresso i do not think i can even be considered as alive, nowhere even close to functioning. i need to do one of those cleanse things but i would need to be on an island away from every single fucking temptation that there is i have zero will power and all you have to do is say a word like hamburger and i will obsess about it until i eat one. i have not had an actual hamburger in a long time, i’ve been successful in that department at least, i have not stopped thinking about hamburgers though, not so successful when it comes to that. it’s basically, booze or hamburgers, unfortunately hamburgers do not make me feel witty at all like booze can, booze wins.
this is me before eating a hamburger:
i am going to eat a hamburger
this is me after eating a hamburger:
i want to fucking kill myself
this is me before booze:
i want to fucking kill myself
this is me after booze:
isn’t it weird how as humans we live amongst the dead i mean we keep our dead close by in cemetaries and we visit them? humans are fucked yo!
i’m not wasted right now so i cannot provide an accurate this is me drunk anecdote i will in the future drunk post for you, maybe i can do a once a month drunk post and you have to figure out which post it was, i’ll link to five different posts and you have to figure it out. fun right?
on another note we watched the good shepherd last nite and it is the longest movie ever and a lot of things happen and it is hard to follow and a lot of whisper talk scenes which beyond infuriate me and (stop reading now i am going to spoil something) there is a part where someone is tossed out of a plane and it was really scary. **ok start reading again** angelina jolie was ok i guess but it was hard to disassociate her character from her in real life like RIGHT NOW SHE IS THINKING ABOUT ADOPTING AN ENTIRE SMALL COUNTRY BECAUSE SHE IS THE NEXT MIA FARROW and has something to prove but what that is is unknown. i have to go re-read jamie‘s review of it i remember he said it was super long and annoying but angelina is sketched-out in a couple scenes and it is cool so everytime we see angelina i kept saying THIS IS THE PART WHERE SHE IS A JUNKY but she wasn’t a junky and in hindsight jamie said she was drunk not sketchy so i am an idiot. i can’t believe jamie saw it in a movie theatre i would have lost my mind sitting down for that long sober in the dark holy annoying.
if matt damon does one more conspiracy movie where he is wearing glasses i am going write to his mother and complain.
the moral of the movie is TRUST there now you don’t have to watch it cos i did that for you. it is about the beginning of the CIA. there is no wang or tits in it but it is rated R, there are sex scenes but sneaky covered up flesh who the fuck walks to the bathroom with an entire bedsheet if i did that fil would fucking explode on me. well he wouldn’t explode but once he caught on to me pulling up the bedsheets we would get into one of those covers tug-of-war fights which would be totally ridiculous to see in a movie after the leading character boned some girl and was laying in bed all post-coital then turns zero to rage on her.
despite all of this it is still a good movie to see if you don’t have ADD and have over two hours of time to kill.
i am afraid to drink caffeine now, last nite in bed i sweated out a fucking lake and began to feel nauseous and decided fuck that i am NOT sitting up in bed feeling pukey til 5 in the morning cos i am too much of a pussy to ralph so i concentrated really hard on coma-time and it worked. right now i feel like shit pretty bad, i typically feel like shit every morning, is this extra-zoloft withdrawal? i think someone mentioned to be prepared to not go out in public for a solid week when the zoloft withdrawals really kick in. hmm sounds like a job for jameson’s.
i am afraid of caffeine cos i do not want to feel like last nite ever again, who sweats that much? ewen mcgregor coming off of junk in trainspotting, i, am not, coming off of heroin.
i think espresso should be fine, i’m just going to have to stay away from those chemical drinks, bipolar people are not even supposed to be dabbling with the caffeine devil to begin with, it’s true, and while i think i have more of a mood disorder combined with depression, i find that i do have certain similarities akin to bipolars with my personality and how certain things affect me ie. weed, caffeine.
my next post i will be having an espresso i will let it slip if i am feeling cuckoo or not.
