i am afraid to drink caffeine now, last nite in bed i sweated out a fucking lake and began to feel nauseous and decided fuck that i am NOT sitting up in bed feeling pukey til 5 in the morning cos i am too much of a pussy to ralph so i concentrated really hard on coma-time and it worked. right now i feel like shit pretty bad, i typically feel like shit every morning, is this extra-zoloft withdrawal? i think someone mentioned to be prepared to not go out in public for a solid week when the zoloft withdrawals really kick in. hmm sounds like a job for jameson’s.

i am afraid of caffeine cos i do not want to feel like last nite ever again, who sweats that much? ewen mcgregor coming off of junk in trainspotting, i, am not, coming off of heroin.

i think espresso should be fine, i’m just going to have to stay away from those chemical drinks, bipolar people are not even supposed to be dabbling with the caffeine devil to begin with, it’s true, and while i think i have more of a mood disorder combined with depression, i find that i do have certain similarities akin to bipolars with my personality and how certain things affect me ie. weed, caffeine.

my next post i will be having an espresso i will let it slip if i am feeling cuckoo or not.