look at all the people not lining up to buy fruit and yes fil is one of them. this mcdonald’s line-up seriously was 40 strong.

because i wrote an article about pussy farting ever since i receive emails DAILY along the lines of this:

Hello. I just read your article on “pussy farts” – and I have to tell you… my wife does that when she is really cumming hard – and it is awesome. It happens when I am on top – alternating big, long thrusts with grinding moves. When is starting to cum, she’ll press against me very hard and push out her pussy – then when the queef happens she is really into her orgasm – and the air I feel around my cock is pretty neat. I love it when she queefs because I know she is feeling great! Thanks for writing about this!

dear everyone: I DON’T FUCKING CARE IF YOU CAN MAKE YOUR WIFE QUEEF DO YOU WANT ME TO CLAP YOU ON THE BACK OR RETRACT MY PIECE AND ADD IN YOUR DISGUSTING DETAILS?! FUCK OFF.

we went to see the last kiss last nite and it ended up being in one of the VIP rooms at the varsity you know there’s maybe 20 seats all huge with tables attached and a girl goes around and delivers popcorn to your fat lazy ass and you can leave to get trashed in the vip lounge and go back to your seat anyway we smuggled in our own red wine, cans of it the size of redbull so that was nice. also i am on my period.

period + red wine + romantic/drama = crying the entire way through then laughing a little bit menopause styles then seriously crying again and then getting very angry at your boyfriend because zach braff cheats on his girl with this other slut etc and so on.

it’s very well done i mean beautiful even, tho that might have been the wine, some scenes are hysterical while others you want to stuff your hair into your eyes it’s too emotional and real. go see it.

i saved that flower from my grandma’s casket.

oldschool bangs, jogging suit outfits hell yeah.

i made that pig in grade 6 and i was the only one who decided to hodgepodge those wrappers, everyone else painted theirs different shades of pink and brown because they are followers and i am a leader. i read a bunch of religion assignments i did in grade 6 also and holy shit i totally blocked out how insanely brainwashy catholic school was/is.

my brother wrote a letter to saddam hussein when he was little and asked him to stop making the war cos he was afraid to get hit by a “misel” aw!

my niece is cuter than yours