i am wishing that i bought extra food yesterday so i could eat some right now i am distracting myself with pointless tasks so i don’t have to leave the apartment to get food and i have been awake since 8am it is like 2:30 and i have eaten nothing except espresso and orange juice and i think that i actually lose weight or feel skinnier after a nite of steady boozin’ but after nites sans booze i am like EXCUSE ME WHY DO I WEIGH AS MUCH AS A GOLF CART?!

it’s true, i have the worst eating habits EVER and i am a lazy piece of shit.

anyway the other nite before me and fil, uh, started hugging, i was like HEY FIL ARE YOU GETTING READY FOR YOUR BIG MOMENT!?!?! and he’s all “big moment”? and i’m all SORRY I MEANT 45 SECONDS.

ahahwlfdmesfekuahahahha!

ps it would be awesome if i washed my face before passing out at nite so i don’t have to go through an entire box of q-tips every week getting all the shitty mascara out of my eye crevices.

pps i think i am losing my vision that, or i am losing my mind OR i am dyslexic, that’s all.

connie WHATTHEFUCK chung

mmva dramalamadingdong

if anyone has farticle suggestions for me to write in the vein of stupid/funniness please submit them via email: raymitheminx@gmail.com

i will mail the winner a personalized present and it will be fucking awesome.

THANK YOU FOR THE FUCKING DORMANT TROJAN VIRUS WHOEVER GAVE IT TO ME I AM VERY VERY HAPPY SPENDING 1.5 HOURS ON HOLD/TALKING WITH INTERNET PEEPS ON FONE/SEARCH AND DESTROYING THE VIRUS TO HAVE MY ACCOUNT UNSUSPENDED IT WAS THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE TO SPEND MY MORNING _AMAZING_SUPER_FUN_funfunfunfufnfufnfufnfufn !!!

totally fucking famous i am

OUTRAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

i just began re-reading junky in the tub and i would be lying if i said i didn’t feel like doing heroin about now. i’m easy prey for the glorification of addiction novels. i have never tried heroin and i doubt i ever will, that’s a bottom i dare not wish to hit. this book is the closest i will ever get to it.

to write about shit like this like it is an artform, the desire of getting fucked up and sitting semi-circle face-to-face discussing the evolution of i dunno, dinner plates during a time before computers and rollerblades, who can fucking resist that? i know i can’t and i know that i don’t bother to try much. sitting in a starbuck’s with your classmate eating brownies, where’s the romance? i’d rather have dirt stains on the soles of my feet lying on my back in a forgotten field, fucked out of my head, talking about a book i will never write and the things i never said.

anyway, like i says, easy prey.

drunk still
v. good

fuckin hot dawwwguuuuh!